house republicans hired super-straight, super-lawyer paul clement to defend marriage to the tune of $2 million dollars. [ laughter ] now, the case won't be heard until march, but that money is already buying brilliant legal arguments from clement like: "marriage should be limited to unions of a man and a woman because they alone can produce unplanned and unintended offspring." [ laughter ] damn straight. yes! yes, marriage is for straight people, who can go to a wedding, get tanked on chablis, and make a baby, barebacking it in a coat closet. [ laughter ] as -- [cheers and applause] fans of the coat closet. that's how god intended it. [ laughter ] planning to have kids just isn't right. [ laughter ] but perhaps the strongest argument clement yanked out of his law-hole is this one: "gays and lesbians have attained more legislative victories, political power, and popular favor in less time than virtually any other group in american history. given that the ultimate inquiry focuses on whether a group needs the special intervention of the courts-- the political strength of gays and lesbians

this is what paul clement is arguing. >> bill: what john boehner argues.ou don't need any help or you don't need any particular support. >> listen, i've been called special since i was a small child. i'm not going to tell you what that meant. but i'll take the special rights. [ laughter ] >> bill: i love your comments on this, 1-866-55-press. you know, on public policy issues, we've learned it always takes a long time, you know, to get to the right place. but i must -- it has taken a long time on same-sex marriage. but in the last 12 months, maybe, right it has moved so fast. i think it just has my head spinning. in the right direction. i think it is great. for the president of the united states last year to come out in support of same-sex marriage. now for this big group of republicans to do so. and it was only ten years ago or less that republicans were using this as a -- against every liberal, every democrat in the country. >> absolutely. if you need any evidence of discrimination right, it was those -- it is now -- i think 38 39 states have bans agains