i ain't gonna be rememho got k a wall and peed his damn pants.r you just punch me in the face. yeah, that might loosen me up, like-like banging a jar of jelly on the counter or something. yeah, that might to eat my teeth, but like a short right cross or something. (siren wailing) oh, so much fo getting this done ound. punch me in the face. i'm not gonna hit you. come on. i'm giving you permission. ju d(dog barking)

now where where peed peaceful protest were held following the funeral of stephon clark who was shot and killed by sacramento police. >> stephon clark. >> dozens of demonstrators chanted outside the district attorney's office and they blocked traffic along a street in downtown sacramento. but the sacramento kings nba game was not disrupted. now earlier in the day, about 500 people gathered for stephonclark's funeral in south sacramento. his brother was overcome with emotion at one point he held onto reverend al sharpton who comforted him and his family. >> that's what we came for. for them to hold onto somebody until we can change this together. and all of these protests have not been violent. >> along with stephon clark's family, sacramento mayor and retired nba player matt barnes were among those paying respects at the funeral. also the sacramento kings is partnering with black lives matter to establish an education fund for stephon clark's two children. >>> a town hall meeting in san francisco last night, police showed body camera video of the moment shots were fired inside a barbersh

. >> increases his speed,peed, had he his eye on that ball, you didn't see this >> that was -- >> done. >> -- a good move. >> he gets tackled and they are not playing nice today. >> he's still recording. >> yeah, he's going to keep recording and try to turn this whole thing around on the guards. >> look at this. >> look at that [ bleep ]. >> you ever [ bleep ]. >> he's not resisting but he's certainly not going easy on the guard, particularly this guy. he's got it in for this guy. >> i've got all of you on camera so that's -- >> they take him by the arm and escort him out of the mall, reunite him with his crazy cart and tell him return got to go. but do you think he leaves? >> no. >> oh my goodness. >> opens the door again, quickly met by security. somehow he doesn't wind up in the back of a police car, but that's ryan's way, you know, pushing buttons. pushing the envelope. >> this vooes a little bit older but newly uploaded. that's an elephant seal. so does it want to play sore it charge up? >> i think it's a combination those things. that baby elephant seal, not moving fast enough. >

he and peed. at first he seemed to like holly best. finally, loretta -- that was our youngest goat -- did her runway walk, and he could barely contain himself. he tried to climb over the fence, squeeze under it, go straight through the metal. isn't that just like a man, i said to david, to prefer the younger woman? whenever i disparaged merle, david defended him. he doesn't smell that bad. actually, i think he smells pretty good, you just need to stand back when he pees, and so on. he can't help it, david said, it's just basic biology. i sure wish i had known this earlier, i said. david rolled his eyes. here we go again. but it did seem to me that until this very moment i had lacked an understanding of some fundamental truths that farm kids must have grown up knowing, how a buck or bull or boar will instinctively pursue any ready and willing female. knowing that might have made the rejections and betrayals i experienced in my younger dating years a whole lot easier to take. [applause] >> thank you. so we mated merle with two of our goa

have you ever peed in a swimming pool? >> no. >> never? >> no. >> how about in the ocean?? >> no. >> never? >> never. >> the bath? >> no. >> the shower? >> maybe. >> can you name all the planets? >> volcano, volcano, dinosaur land. new york. mountain. mountains. >> and there's one more. >> new york. >> yeah, you already said that one. >> trees. >> yes, trees. >> can you name the planets? >> mercury, venus, earth, mars, and uranus. not -- the planet. >> not the planet? >> no, the planet, not the butt. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess we'll call it a tie. thank you, kids. tonight on the show we have music from moon taxi. yara shahidi is here. and we'll be right back with lionel richie. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the brewers at guinness, who want to wish you a happy st. patrick's day. please drink responsibly. esponsibly. your top-rated thing. that five stars, two thumbs up, 12-out-of-10, would recommend thing. because if you only want the best thing, you get the #1 thing. directv is rated #1 in customer sa

have you ever peed in a swimming pool? >> no. >> never? >> no. >> how about in the ocean?th? >> no. >> the shower? >> maybe. >> can you name all the planets? >> volcano, volcano, dinosaur land. new york. mountain. mountains. >> and there's one more. >> new york. >> yeah, you already said that one. >> trees. >> yes, trees. >> can you name the planets? >> mercury, venus, earth, mars, and uranus. not -- the planet. >> not the planet? >> no, the planet, not the butt. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess we'll call it a tie. thank you, kids. tonight on the show we have music from moon taxi. yara shahidi is here. and we'll be right back with lionel richie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i ...prilosec otc 7 years ago,my doctor recommended... 5 years ago, last week. just 1 pill each morning, 24 hours and zero heartburn. it's been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10... ...straight years, and it's still recommended today. use as directed. it's ok that everyone ignores it's fine. drive. because i get a safe driving bonus check every six months i'm accident free. and i don't

according to the study released this morning the number of peed drink icu admissions has doubled between and 2015. many kids got into methadone and narcotics used to treat adults addicted to painkillers. 2% of these young patients die. >> 2% seems like a small number but you think about two children out of 100 dying from a condition that could have been avoidable is disheartening. >> an estimated 2.6 million americans have an opioid abuse disord disorder. >>> oakland school districts are receiving 6 figure grants. that will assist immigrant and refugee school children. oakland schools will receive more than $600,000, san francisco schools will get about $250,000. it is expected to cover the cost for new bye lingual counselors and streamline transcript and transfer policies. >>> coming up next on "today in the bay," the "today" show's savannah guthrie is waking up in san jose this morning for a big charity fundraiser. we will talk to her live in just minutes. >>> the search is on, the troubling new details we're learning about an investigation involving football star aldon smith and the r

trump is so scared he peed the bed by accident. [ laughter and applause ] a very, very subtle differencet an important difference. according to a new study, snapchat is the most used social media app among adults 18 to 24. while calculator is still accidentally the most used app by people my age. [ laughter and applause ] a new report claims that california is the state with the worst quality of life. "ha-ha!" said a new yorker right before a rat fell in his mouth. [ laughter and applause ] from where? and finally, music streaming app spotify has filed to go public. never going public, my workout playlist. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he is one of the stars of "red sparrow" and one of our favorites here at "late night," joel edgerton is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] he is the host of "cnn tonight," don lemon joins us. [ cheers and applause ] and from nbc's new series "champions," a fantastic young actor, j.j. totah joins us. [ cheers and applause ] so you are here on a great night. but, before we get to t

but they don't care their interest is in the end goal and trump may very well have peed on prostitutes -- as long as he builds a wall and becomes the guy that they want him to be. russia has had an active role in the movements all over the world. particularly in europe because they funded our left movements and defunded far right movements. whatever messes with the various democracies. whatever messes with western democracies is okay and russia's book. they've been very successful at it in europe, they gave a huge loan and another party in hungary gets funding for this, the polish nationalists get funding. the russia they have developed the ball in this national circle and they try hard to impress russia to get some of those rubles. they think that russia -- >> is like a company going public and an offering? >> yes and they tried to come across -- so matthew calls me earlier this fall and says, and the huge secret to tell you. there is a guy who's going to be in d.c. tomorrow and he is like a big important russian guy. you can come if you want because i know you and it's good. and i me

cease development that the european union had not been aware off and that it is now trying to grip and peed sort of further further things that could be slidin european values that everybody in brussels said really need to be maintained ok this is very important of course maintaining european values now you've just come back from brother slava where the murders took place what are some of your impressions it is a country in uproar that's the overall impression and we could company in the merging see delegation that the european parliament had said on it sent on effect finding mission to broths love to fight find out what are the backgrounds and what is happening there. in this host the journalist. and his partner martina with home. neighbors come every day to light candles they are still shocked about what happened in the quiet village effect finding mission from the european parliament has also arrived to pay their respects this is really the moment where you realize this is what it's about . you know to to to work on a world where things like this don't happen it cannot go without punishm