pee-wee voice.g you over talk like -- >> you overdo it. just because he's so over the top. you wind up being like that. so, my producer in my ear was like -- [ pee-wee impersonation ] >> jimmy: what do you think, tom? ha-ha. >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ pee-wee impersonation ] >> jimmy: how does it go? >> -- how about you use your adult voice. >> jimmy: yeah, well then he's paul reubens. >> well also -- >> jimmy: did he switch? >> well, he did that, too, like in the way that during the quick fire, i would talk in my, you know 16 octave voice. when we were at judges table, he would get really into analyzing the food, and all of a sudden he forgot to be pee-wee herman and he would be paul rubens. and he'd be like, "yeah, you're right i really --" and i'm like, "hey!" let's here it. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: "what were you saying pee-wee?" "[ clears throat ] well i was saying, i think it was a little dry." >> right. [ laughter ] yeah, exactly, and we'd have to remind him. [ cheers and applause ]

i'm not washing my hands. >> i have to pee. i'm going to pee outside. >> you're peeing? all the bathrooms are taken. i don't [ bleep ]. don't call me dirty. i'm not dirty. i smell phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. in las vegas today, donald trump made a surprise endorsement of mitt romney for president. of course, there's this is huge for romney because, as goes trump, so goes meatloaf. and donald made the endorsement. and mitt climbed into donald's golden helicopter, and they flew around the country, dropping silver dollars on the homeless and unemployed. today was day two of black history month. i have to be honest, black history month can be a little uncomfortable for white people. i know this because i'm white on my father's side. and also on my mother's side. [ laughter ] but it can be awkward because bringing it up might seem racist. but not mentioning it might seem rude. so, here at the show, we have it figured out. we know how to do it. so, to help you at your office, i have asked our staff today. these are real members of our staff, to

pee in the cup. >> no. if someone doesn't show backup for a drug test the equation would be simple.y're choosing their drugs over choosing to get that money for their children. >> reporter: so your drug habit is more important than your family. >> no, my family is very important. and i'm a father, taking care of my disabled mother and i'm studying to be an accountant. >> reporter: so after you pay for your child's food, take care of your mother, buy school books, how much money is left over for drugs? >> i done do drugs. >> reporter: he can deny his habit, but not the success of the welfare drug testing program. >> how many people have failed. >> it's something like 2%. >> reporter: only 2% of the people are passing. >> 2% of the people are failing the drug test. >> reporter: wait a minute. rick scott said that welfare recipients use drugs at a higher rate than the general population. maybe he was high when he said that. >> the way that it works is they have to pay the approximately $30 for the drug test up front. >> reporter: whoa. you mean the poor people pay the $30 first. >> tha

i had the dance called the pee on the tree. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: po3? >> no. the pee on the tree.tch it. and the goal post, just the goal post -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i get down on four legs like this -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, you guys. snoop dogg! [ cheers and applause ] fitz and the tantrums perform next. hey, everybody, i want to say thanks again to the folks over at bud light. here's what's going on at the bud light hotel. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] surprising hydration. now from your razor. new schick hydro silk. water-activated serum hydrates your skin longer than any other razor. it's the only one with five blades and skin guards that smooth skin to help reduce irritation. women prefer hydro silk to the leading brand. new schick hydro silk. free your skin. you bet. wow. man: do your simple return with the turbo tax federal free edition, and now get our free one-on-one expert tax advice live by phone or chat. get the federal free edition at turbotax.com. gives you a 50 percent annual bonus. so yo

i had the dance called the pee on the tree. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: po3? >> no. the pee on the tree.re it, boom. i catch it. and the goal post, just the goal post -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i get down on four legs like this -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, you guys. snoop dogg! [ cheers and applause ] fitz and the tantrums perform next. hey, everybody, i want to say thanks again to the folks over at bud light. here's what's going on at the bud light hotel. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ weight loss programs can be expensive. so to save some money, i just got the popular girls from the local middle school to follow me around. ew. seriously? so gross. ew. seriously? that is so gross. ew. seriously? dude that is so totally gross. so gross...i know. there's an easier way to save. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. is the pain reliever orthopedic doctors recommend most for arthritis pain, think again. and take aleve. it's the one doctors recommend most for arthritis pain. two pills can last all day. ♪ it's subway footlon

we have that that clip can someone explain to me if there's supposed to be a scandal that someone pees on the corpse of a taliban fighter someone who was this is part of an organization murdered over three thousand americans. i drop trial and do it two that's me down short on time so the first case led to someone getting suspended but the second case it seems. that the ball how does that make that well i mean roland martin is in a pretty small brotherhood of african-american journalists here in the united states i mean i know him a lot of people my friends know people line up on weird sides of this but the bottom line is this and this is this is just my theory roland martin was not hired by c.n.n. to make provocative crazy comments dana loesch was people like erick erickson are i mean i know that sounds strange but hear me out they were hired to basically provide that kind of talk radio lunatic point of view especially with the marines peeing on the taliban and i spoken about this on our t.v. before that kind of sensationalism and that kind of of news product dominates the airwaves in

the image of a rick santorum pee covered pair of pants could make him seem more presidential.list convinced us it happened, we decided to seize the opportunity. to help you out so no one else takes it and does something rude with it, we the rachel maddow purchased and safely thereby taken off the market d dogpeecan'tstopsantorum.com. it will now live forever as a redirect to our website. we still own that url to this day. if you type dogpeecan'tstopsantorum.com into a web browser, it will take you to the maddow blog. we were smart to grab that because this weekend that piece of internet real estate got more valuable. we have video proof rick santorum tells the dog pee can't stop me story on the campaign trail. here he is saturday night, lincoln day dinner, akron, ohio. >> she hands me a glass of water, the dog jumps up and hops in my lap. okay. fine. so i pet the dog, have a sip or two of water. we're chatting. the next thing i know, there is a warm sensation on my lap. and i -- and i jump up and on my tan pants is a huge wet spot where you don't want a huge wet spot. so i jum

. >> the dog is so scared it pees all over the place, pees on judy.er daughter is in the other room screaming. >> they scared me. >> scare me. >> this went on for 35 minutes. >> don't tell me they had the wrong address. >> they had the wrong -- get this. this was all part of a two-year federal investigation. this was actually a massive city-wide drug and weapons gang raid. judy's apartment is 2r. the suspect they were after 2f. >> the looks on their faces when they knew they got the wrong door was priceless. they were -- they looked at each other dumbfounded. >> imagine if you are the guy in 2f. you hear the fbi breaking into your neighbor's place, you are out of this. >> two years they investigated this, and they got the wrong door. >> after they figured out we're in the wrong apartment, they did end up arresting the person they were after in the first place. judy said that an agent did come back to the apartment and apologize and give judy a number to get all this stuff fixed, but she says that she doesn't think the apology was genuine. she even cal

>> i got to pee. >> i believe he said he has to go pee. >> pg&e, tiger woods needed all 18 holes to win. he rushes, he will face nick what the any tomorrow. >>> i have the wednesday night top five. >>> what knicks announcer was wearing tonight. >> looks good on you. >>> number four the national hulo hoop contest. they. >>> number three, harbaugh the brother-in-law of tom creed so harbaugh was the clean up boy taking the chair away after the time out. >>> number two, clippers are in the top five it means that blake griffin is there. a monster dunk in the lane. la beat denver. >>> and the number one play of the night. jeremy lin the first new york athlete to be back to back covers of sports illustrated. he led new york to a 17 point win over atlanta. if you are scoring at home, the last guy to be in the back to back covers was dirk of the mavericks, michael jordon has done it twice. >> tiger? >> yes. but -- but jeremy has his work out cut for him. >> he is doing a good job. . >> isn't there a curse for being on the cover? >> did have you that say that? did you have to say that? >> she sai

>>[chuckling] you pee 'em out. >>yeah. it hurts though. >>it hurts to pee 'em out? >>no!that's the case i better see the doctor! (vanessa) why are you getting your tattoos removed? >>because i got kids now you know? i gotta set an example. i'm trying to get my life together. (vanessa) bernadette, what does the three dots mean? >>mi vida loca-- my crazy life. >>is that gang related? >>yes. everyone in my gang has that same ace of spades. >>what does it mean? >>it means you always have a ace up your sleeve. oh, good lord! >>see how it's fading? >>that hurts more than my neck. it feels like i got bit by a mosquito, kind of. >>why are you so happy to get them off? >>because, i don't want anything at all to do with my gang. i have kids, and if i walk down the street with short sleeves, they'd see it and know this is my enemies. i don't wanna get shot at with my kids. and this one-- he's gay, so i really want that off. >>he is really gay, or-- >>yeah, he has a boyfriend now-- a boyfriend-boyfriend. yeah, he's definitely. but, i have two kids by him, so. >>when did you think it

>> i got to pee. >> sir, step off the lawn more. off the lawn more. >> hang on. >> i'm about to spray you. >> step off the lawn more. >> just give me a second. >> sir, you better step off that lawn more. you're about to get sprayed, i'm serious. >> i got to go. >> ahhh! ahhh! >> all sorts of absurd action is caught on camera these days. and this dash cam video certainly looks convincing, but is it real? >> you're riding a lawn more on a highway. what are you doing? >> well, it's definitely really in. >> this is steve, the lawn more guy. >> my wife said if i didn't get another beer she was going to stab me in the face. >> to me, it is more like bringing to life comedy that i've been doing for years in another format on stage. >> i grew up with a buddy named steve who was just loud and raising hell all the time. won't it be fun to hear him every once in a while. all right, here's what you're going do. >> in 2006, mark is doing stand-up. but wants to reach a larger audience. that's where steve comes in. >> it was a way it get attention

this is the "can i go pee?" [ laughter ] this next expression is one of my favorites., yeah, '98 toyota tercel, bitches." [ cheers and applause ] stuck it to the side. i know you hate. all right. here's one from a joint news conference with canadian prime minister stephen harper. [ cheers and applause ] this is the "pretending to pay attention while actually thinking about the 1990's cereal reese's peanut butter puffs." [ laughter ] here's another one from the same conference. this is the "man, reese's peanut butter puffs are so good. they taste exactly like reese's peanut butter cups. how do they do that?" [ laughter and applause ] here's one. this is the "it was like they took a reese's peanut butter cup, rolled it up into a ball, and then magically shrunk it into bite-sized cereal pieces. maybe that's how they actually made them. whoa. if that was true, even willy wonka would be like, 'what?'" [ cheers and applause ] this next one, this one's called the "speaking of peanut butter, remember peanut butter crunch? it was cap'n crunch but with peanut butter. whoa, which

from 2 cents to 5 cents pee bottle.megan gilliland is here with more on why the mayor says it's necessary... again this year. good morning patrice,this was a big issue last year... when the city approvee a 2 cent tax... aad that was a compromise froo the orginal 4 cent proposal.but now, the mayor wants more. mooe.she says raising the bottle tax -- by 150-percent - is the only way to secure funding for improvements to city schools.but beverage distributors and supermarket owners feel it's unfair... they say he 2-cent tax has already hht their profits hard. "the 2 cent has had an adverse affect. sales are down 20-thousand dollars from one year to the next." next."opponents believe the mayor s targettng them... a retaliation against them for fighting the tax so hard last year. for now... the bottle tax bill was refered to a ccmmittee.it will likely come up for vooe next month.i'm megan gilliland, fox45 morning news. the remains of army major robert marchanti... are back on american soil. transfer" of his remains aa dover air force base in delaware.the former baltimore county teacher and nati

briaa matusz will go against that;s affernoon's game will pee alfredo simmn get the staat..tommm hunterrouuht in,,and is expected to nail down the spot, but the orioles are gonnaagive nolan reimold a good long look, too...reimold and hit .279 with 155home runs - and 45 rbi..buttsiice then, it's been a long series of minor leagues...but he's hoping his approach this spring ill bring him back to where he onne was... 3 theenews ccntinues to be encouraginggfor starttr zach britton...trying to get rid of tte shouoldr imflaamation that britton has been taking things easy in sarasota...doing sse throwing, but on the flat ground..tomorrow, he'll likely get his first work off a mound, and ii expected to throw around 25 itches...tte club's wins leader with 11 last year, britton and pitching coach riik aaair are britton coulddbe ready for opening dayy..stay tuued. the terps take on of the night in sports ccming sports unlimited.....0 on i... was... a race ....gaanst the an... australii be. beach.a woman and her daughter wwre horseback riding along the beach... when a horse started to sink in the s

pee-wee herman, and a likely one of the kardashian sisters. >> which one do you think?is or the youngest sister . we will find youngestwho will be on the show today on good morning america beginning at 7:00 right here. >> would you do its? >> i would love the costumes. >> we will have to see if we can work some magic. it is 6:12 on this tuesday morning. a lot still coming up. >> greed gone wrong. a new public service announcement. >> pirate-infested waters, not where you want your cruise ship to break down. the latest headache for carnival cruise line. >> the hunt for serial bank robbery suspect. he has been >> you are watching abc 7's "good morning washington" with cynne simpson and steve chenevey. this is "good morning washington," on your side. >> prince george's county police are hoping this surveillance photographs will help them catch a serial bank robber. he has been threatening the bank tellers, saying that he has a nuclear weapon. police and police surveillance video. he has robbed four banks in prince george's county in the past two months. in each case he is

>> you know if kids pee in pools, and you know. smoking section of the restaurant it's not walled off. have you ever seen the places in the airport and europe. >> like a glass cage you can go in and basically like all filled with smoke. >> and cool, like a bunch of prisoners getting ready to go to death row. >> smoke bothers me, bothers my nose and i like it it not in restaurants. >> i'll get with you, greg, and you're on the same page. >> i know where you two kindred spirits are aligned. freedom of choice, you want to smoke, let them smoke. you want to smoke in the back yard, front yard, whatever, that's your deal. i don't like smoking around children. >> greg? >> i vehement non-- anti-smokers are weak people because they get off on manufactured outrage that they cannot express in other areas of their lives, so this is their only place where they can exert dominance over stranger. the mistake they don't know the stranger and what they might do. >> when somebody aprochs me, i attack their personal appearance and their looks. i look

. -- on peeing on my peachtree. >> probably not a big deal. this is a fertilizer. it kill the tree in large doses. you see it more in bonds and garden beds. eventually, it could do some damage. >> how do i kill a four-foot bush growing out of control? >> i was struck by cutting it down. you can cut it down to the stump. you can put a stop killer over the stump. then you can just take it out. >> take you so much. great to see you. happy valentine's day. >> thank you. >> up next, your maryland lottery numbers. first, a look at how wall street >> time now for your maryland lottery. >> happy valentine's day. we're ready to play pick three. 6-9-1. quoted to the pick four and a moment. it said that website and checkout the hot prizes for the delay. -- we will get to the pit floor in a moment. go to the web site and check out the hot prizes for at the day. we have a 3 followed by a 4. the next number is a5. the final number is a4. 3-4-5-4. >> we are coming off of our chocolate high from the morning show ahead. >> we have a showers that are minimal to keep away from your v

a cup to pee in they can be tested for drug use.e themselves prove on demand that they personally are drug-free. if lawmakers cannot or will not submit their urine for examination by the state, then under this new bill they could lose their legislative privileges, like their parking spaces and laptops. the reason the indiana house passed the bill is not because the republican majority wanted to make sure lawmakers aren't high, even if they propose high-seeming idea, because the majority in the state wanted to start drug testing people in indiana who need welfare. and indiana's democrats, the minority turned that in a boomer rang. they added mandatory drug testing for lawmakers. you have to be drug tested for state money. lawmakers get paid in state money you ought to pee in a cup, too. they shamed them to test themselves. indiana democrats are very much minority. republicans controlled the governorship and both chambers of the state legislature. but indiana democrats are showing signs they might be clever enough not to lose everythi

sherri shepherd, gavin day egraw, ryan o'neal, pee-wee herman, kris jenner, and vince vince young.ext season kicks off on monday on abc 7. not get anrman did invitation to the oscars? >> maybe this could put him back on the list. >> still ahead, about a long day for nascar drivers. why it took 36 hours to ahhh. so soft. time out. sweet. [ female announcer ] with charmin ultra soft, you can get that cushiony feeling you love while still using less. charmin ultra soft is designed with extra cushion that are soft of and more absorbent and you can use four times less versus the leading value brand. ♪ ah. [ female announcer ] we all go. why not enjoy the go with charmin ultra soft. today is gonna be an important day for us. you ready? we wanna be our brother's keeper. what's number two we wanna do? bring it up to 90 decatherms. how bout ya, joe? let's go ahead and bring it online. attention on site, attention on site. now starting unit nine. some of the world's cleanest gas turbines are now powering some of america's biggest cities. siemens. answers. i don't know if i'd be safe. it's no

and whatever you do, do not pee on the porch. >> you're peeing? >> all the bathrooms were taken. don't give a [ bleep ]. >> follow these simple steps and you'll punch the flu right in the face. a message from the centers for disease control and prevention. >> jimmy: well, there you go. [ cheers and applause ] there was a new episode of "jersey shore" tonight on mtv. by the way, you can stream "jersey shore" on amazon now. you can stream "jersey shore" and "dora the explorer." that's great. sometimes i'm in the mood of seeing a little cartoon girl go on educational adventures. and sometimes i'm in the mood for seeing a cartoon girl get loaded. when you see them doing interviews, the cast of "the jersey shore," and they are always talking about they're not as dumb as the characters they play on the show. let's just say i hope that's true. >> it's like 12 to 10:00. we should go somewhere. >> where do you want to go? >> what's 12 to 10:00 mean? >> 12 minutes to 10:00? >> yes. what's that mean? >> it's ten minutes to 12:00. >> really? so, i said it right. i have no idea how to speak c

your shirt right now. >> how long is it going to pee on my shirt?aughter ] >> jimmy: probably for a while. do you have a guess as to what the animal is, guillermo? >> iguana? >> jimmy: is it an iguana? no. guillermo, take your blindfold off. take your blindfold down. and we will show you what is on your head. >> oh [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kirstin, what is that? >> this is a showgirl chicken. >> jimmy: it's a chicken. >> wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: put the blindfold back on. very good. we're going to put another animal on your head in a couple minutes. another one, all right? you stay here, okay? >> i'm not going nowhere. >> jimmy: okay. very good. [ applause ] this is the saddest day of the year for guillermo. today is february 1st, which marks the first day of black history month. that's why john krasinski is here with us tonight. [ laughter ] i want to do something special to commemorate black history month. but i couldn't think of anything good. so, instead, we sent my cousin sal on hollywood boulevard today, to ask white peo