said he would go to the opera house to watch women perform , and he would take opium to get a better experience he said something along the lines of you can buy happiness for a penny, and you can carry happiness in your coat pocket where you want it. >> exactly but it was beyond anything that he anticipated for the experience. >> he felt like it enhanced his his mental clarity, his dreams . >> that he has his amazing dreams he's able to reach in and find things that he is forgotten. >> he compares it to a religious ecstasy, and his classical roots come through when he compares it to disorder versus order. he sees the apollo dynamic working . >> yes he has this distinction of opium for the opposite's we have the pleasures of opium and then we have the pains of opium. who tells were some of the things that he experienced that were bad? >> the dreams became very horrible. they were very physical, he kept a drink dreaming that there was an alligator , even after he stopped taking the opium he still had these horrendous nightmares. but there was no way to get away from them entirely. >> he also said that he would get a letter, it was impossible to write a response. it