you know, i didn't have the courage to tell them what i knew to be true. >> among the fallen were peter gancind 71-year-old deputy fire commissioner william feehan, who had gone with ganci to rescue the trapped. >> pete hayden climbed atop an engine to address the living. >> i yelled out, we just lost a lot of guys here today. let's have a moment of silence. well, i took my helmet off and i held it. i held it. and after a while i put my helmet back on, they put their helmets back on. i said, okay, we got a job to do. let's do it. >> do you look back and wonder, how did i survive? and 343 members did not? >> i didn't think about it as much. we were crazy busy. i was working 18 hours a day. then it hit me. i said, i am here. i get home, and i'm tired, and there is always food on the table waiting for me, no matter what time i came home. i'm laying in bed -- and i ask my wife, why me? and she said, did you ever think that there was a job for you to do? >> there was a job for cassano and others to do, rebuilding the fdny. when we come back, the children of the lost put on their father's uniform.