[music] pfart, pshit, what a stingy bastard. but pfart, pshit. i think i've got him pshitting just the same. thanks be to god and myself, within a week, i may be queen of poland. [music] you're looking exceptionally ugly tonight, madam. is it because we have company? pshit. i'm rather hungry. i think i'll bury my teeth in this bird, a chicken. i fancy. not bad at all. you wretch. what are our guests going to eat? there's plenty left for them. i shan't touch another thing. go look out of the window, ma ubu, and see if our guests have arrived. ah, here comes captain manure and his merry men. old ubu, what are you eating now? nothing, nothing, just a spot of veal. the veal. he's eaten my veal, the lout. the veal. help. help. by my green candle, i'll gouge your eyes out. [music] good day, gentlemen. we have been awaiting your arrival with impatience. good day, madam. but where is mr. ubu? here i am. here i am. by my green candle, pshit. i shouldn't have thought i'm so easy to miss. good day, mr. ubu. well, madam, and what succulent dishes have you pr