my dad's phil dunphy. i'm sorry. why do you hate him so much? it's just business, kid.personal. well, it's personal to us. i've never seen my dad so worried before. i have this spy pen, and i heard him talking to my mom, and he's scared about paying for my sister's college next year. and i guess he's nervous about some kind of party, because he said there's a big balloon payment. anyways, he's like the best dad ever, so maybe you could be a little nicer to him. there you are, buddy. check it out. they're giving away free jelly beans. hey, mitzi. dunphy. you have a very nice kid there. he's mine. (children shouting playfully) hey, so i was thinking after, uh, little fizbo, we could do the ladder bit. ah, crap. i forgot the ladder. you know what? i'll remember it next weekend. what's next weekend? we got a town fair in thousand oaks and a birthday party in pasadena. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. i-i can't do that. w-what do you mean? i'm the one with outstanding warrants in pasadena. we're taking lily to the aquarium next weekend. you know, lewis, this was just a one-time thing

(beep) (whooshes) phil dunphy, this is the year 2025. welcome. you're the first one here. ♪

as phil dunphy on "modern family" can attest.bell's research found no evidence of murder or mobsters. >> you're saying it's not haunted by ghosts. it's haunted by reality tv? >> i hadn't thought of it that way but that's a good way to put it. >> reporter: the current owner but it at a $100,000 discount and fixed it up. >> will you make money when you sell it? >> i think so. >> reporter: that accent, transylvan transylvania, real estate ghost buster. >> we want to thank you for aring your halloween photos. some amazing costumes you sent us. keep them coming all night long. go to abcnews.com to find out how. for all of us at abc news, have a safe halloween tonight. >> on "the list," if you eat too much fast food, don't blame mcdonalds. it's your friend's fault. they're fun at movies, but not so much in your home, especially when it comes to resale. >> hey, guys, happy halloween. theresa has the day off. our team of list warriors has been in search of some pretty cool stuff. not unlike red sox fans looking for new ways to celebrate.

phil dunphy.do i have to do to get you to ask, "what do i have to do to get you into this car today?" well, why don't we start with a test-drive? i'll get the keys. sounds good. right where i want him. come here. come look at this. this thing warns you if you deviate from your lane. in my car, that's my wife. "andre, if you try to kill me, i swear i will kill you!" well, i guess this is what i'll be driving for the next 39 months. this is my dna talking, but you do not seem sufficiently excited about the prospect of driving a new cadillac. no, it's great. i've just leased the same thing forever. part of me wants to shake things up. i don't know. get something like...

phil dunphy.what do i have to do to get you to ask, "what do i have to do to get you into this car today?" well, why don't we start with a test-drive? i'll get the keys. sounds good. right where i want him. come here. come look at this. this thing warns you if you deviate from your lane. in my car, that's my wife. "andre, if you try to kill me, i swear i will kill you!" well, i guess this is what i'll be driving for the next 39 months. this is my dna talking, but you do not seem sufficiently excited about the prospect of driving a new cadillac. no, it's great. i've just leased the same thing forever. part of me wants to shake things up. i don't know. get something like... like that. oh, wow. colonel klink, that is nice. we took lily on her first train ride. just a quick trip to chinatown. i was worried she would think we were taking her back to vietnam, but she seemed okay. yeah, yeah. possibly because she was an infant when she left vietnam. also, vietnam is not china. well, i had a lollipop with

phil. yes, getting it. i was -- i was gonna get it. dylan. hey, mrs. dunphy. um, i'm just waiting for haley. ring the bell? i texted. she said she'd be down in just a minute. oh, great. tell her i said hi. i will. dylan! d-money! chillin' with dylan the villain. "d" to the "y" to the -- hey, mr. dunphy.

phil: was there a twister in kansas? 'cause there's a house in my driveway. [ formally ] welcome home, mr. dunphy. [ formally ] always a pleasure, mr. dunphy. indeed it is, mr. dunphy. place it there. ah, i shall, i shall. [ normal voice ] i miss this. get in here! my dad is awesome. he's awesome. he's always up. he's always happy. i mean, he and i are best buds. we're like two peas in a pod or siamese twins or a snake with two heads. they've actually been all those things for halloween. yeah. hey, this must be scout, huh? i should warn you -- he sheds. i made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road. now my sheets look like two bigfoots did it. [ phil laughs ] pardon the language. how's mom? speaking of big feet, eh? she is on a cruise with her girlfriends, some of which are not totally unattractive. mm. uh, that reminds me -- she sent some gifts for the kids. um, i will be right back. you three get better acquainted. will do. fun. will do. i cannot believe you got a dog without consulting me. this was a major family decision. it was wrong. yeah. and i'm sorry. mm. but we have talked