these stories come from plutarch a book called already a and part of part of that called sayings of the spartan women. and if you have not ever read this or sayings of the spartans, i highly recommend it. there are all these little nuggets. here are four stories. a messenger returned to sparta from the battle. and the women all gather around him to find out what happens. what has happened to their men. into one mother, the messenger says mother, your oldest son i'm sure to tell you your oldest son was killed facing the enemy. and the mother says, he is my son. and he says to her, your younger son is alive and unhurt. he ran away from the enemy. she says he is not my son. one story. second story, another messenger returned from another battle, and a mother approaches him and says how fair is our country? and he burst into tears as his mother, i'm so sorry to tell you, all five of your sons were killed facing the enemy. and she says, you fool, i did not ask you about my sons. i asked about our country. and he says mother, we were victorious. and she says then i am happy, and turns around