(laughter) i am sorry, poabd, but you lost my respect in 2010 when you came out in favor of universal health care. i say if jesus wanted everyone to have insurance he'd have been crucified on a blue cross/blue shield. (laughter) and ill papa did not score any points with me for showing up at the grammys with nicki menaj. (laughter) i tell you, folks. there is nothing we american catholics enjoy more than defending the church's stance on contraception. it's a central tenet of our faith. as deeply held in our belief in marble, jesus on snack food and unintentionally hot school uniforms. (laughter) now through the 1968 papal encyclical cal humanae vitae the church teaches us that the transmission of life is a serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with god. you see, to catholics sex isn't two drunk strangers getting their freak on at closing time. it's the mystical union of two people inspired to create new physical life while god adds a soul in a divine and ef-able, beautiful three way. so when you use contraceptions, you are not only sinning, you are co