the pope doesn't need to wear seat belts because if the pope gets in an accident jesus deploys.laughter) and if the pope had a little too much of the sacrament, jesus can turn the wine back into water so he doesn't get a d.u.i . speaking of alcohol, folks... (cheers and applause) thank you. my final judgment involves a controversial new billboard. >> the billboards came down hours after the anti-definition league publicly called them offensive. the ads touting the polish spired wodka claimed it had christmas quality at chanukah pricing. (audience reacts). >> stephen: yes. christmas quality, chanukah pricing. now, some say this ad is offensive to christians and jews and maybe even muslims because if you look closely, that dog is an afghan. (laughter) so is this ad offensive? yahweh or no way? yahweh! ♪ hallelujah... ladies and gentlemen, i am personally offended that wodka claims their $9 potato peel bathtub hooch is christmas quality. christmas is not about getting blitzed on vodka, it's about getting blitzed on eggnog. rum balls, rum nothing and egg balls. every holiday has its

trip to africa as pope. his first in 2 understand 2009 was surrounded by controversy after the distribution of condoms does not prevent the spread of aids. his trip includes a stop to the seminary and the grave of the late cardinal. vatican was infuriated by an ad by ben ton. this doctored image was part of an ad entitled unhate, showing world leaders locking lips. the vatican called the photo offensive and the company agreed to to withdraw it. not a lod of religious leaders are known for a sense of humor. one priest said that's a shame. father james martin believes joy, humor and laughter are good for one's health. he spoke about the new book between heaven and mirth. >> you can hear the about the funny saint. probably not. >> st. lawrence who was on a gridiron over hot coals. turn me over and take a bite. i'm done on this side. in latin. or st. august stin said give me chastity, but not yet. >> the father said humor is an under appreciated value in the spiritual life. martin has written a book called betwe

very thing that having never been yelled at by a pope by the pope. i can take him all right let's move back to herman cain who as you know before we called michele bachmann the gift that just keeps on giving she kept saying just the stupidest crap and it just made it so much fun for us if you're happy hour and now it's herman cain for music thank you thank you dad not knowing what libya is to this little gem right here. either. so that's why i'm trying to reach out to you is that a community or cuban community get their vote and he says how do you say delicious and cuban you know what a lot of people found this funny i found this very very disturbing this is not an election for high school president where the you know the candidate the senior in high school goes out and promises three peat on friday which has come to think of it how many of you could actually do that but really it is he is running to be the leader one of the main leaders of the free world it matters what other countries think of the leader of this country there is i would. think that

all the leaders are going to keep on smooching except for the pope one. >> they know how to generate publicity don't they? >>> in 2004 nascar launched the drive for diversity program. >> now one young man is starting to make history when he hits the track. dave owens has the story. >> darrell wallace jr. hopes to follow the likes of busch -- and biffle as winners in nascar's sprint cup series. he's about to begin the journey. if he makes it he'll be a rare sight. a black man in nascar's top series. there have only been five. ever. >> it's a tough sport. i mean it was predominantly white sport. >> in 2010 he became the first african-american to win on the knn east pro series. and in 2012, he's scheduled to compete in a nationwide series event for joe gibbs racing just one level below the sport's top series. >> this is awesome to think about. i mean going out there and you know making my nationwide debut. >> also a product of nascar's drive for diversity instituted in 2004 to attract women and minorities. like this one at langley in virginia where 25 applicants from the united states a

you like the pope, we have the pope. since newt gingrich left congress 13 years ago under a cloud of fund-raising ethics charges, gingrich has been very busy making himself very rich by taking conservative suckers' hard earned money. my favorite was the newt gingrich fake awards scam. one of newt's many enterprises, this one called american solutions, would blast facts, businesses, seemingly at random and tell them they were winners of newt gingrich's entrepreneur of the year award. all this business had to do to claim its award was send american solutions a check for $5,000. the whole newt inc empire is basically kind of a fund-raising scam. in 2010, that american solutions group raised $14.5 million. then they turned around and spent $13.8 million. of the $14.5 million they raised. what did they spend all of that money on? they hired vendors such as the gingrich group run by a gentleman named newt gingrich. newt gingrich is being paid to administer the newt gingrich fund-raising empire which spends a large amount of th

that's what you have. >> pope jobs, and regis' run as the pope ends tomorrow on "live with regis andt night, jon stewart checking in on the super committee, let's see what he found. most of the deficit reduction will be proposed by a so-called supercommittee. >> yes, the supercommittee. a group of 12 lawmakers, who gained their powers after having beenç bitten by a radioactive accountant and are called upon to slash our deficit. go forward, supercommittee, the fate of the nation is in your hands. >> it's supercommittee can't even agree on anything. >> they can't even agree on what's going on at their meetings. >> some of the complaints is that senator john kerry is talking too much in the closed-door meetings. >> really? john kerry? talking too much? of course he's talking too much, that's his superpower. >> pretty good superpower to have. we just learned last week that billy crystal is going to take over for eddie murphy and host the oscars. yesterday we learned who is hosting the golden globes again, it's a good one, ricky gervais is back, despite the fact that he steamed about ha

even though the catholic church has paid $3 billion dollars to victims-bankrupting some dioceses-popebenedict has failed to issue an apology to the tens of thousands of victims. he is being sued in the international criminal court in the hague for "crimes against humanity." dr. avis jones-deweever: will all this publicity stop men or priests from sexually abusing children? >> not at all, pedophiles continue to perpetuate their crimes against children until it is stopped. that's why institutions covering up for themselves rather than protecting children is unforgivable. >> absolutely not. i think there is something more troubling going on that's plain evil than behind why these men are abusing children than just the publicity of it all. >> i think what we hope will come out this is more victims will come forward and see the problem will be addressed and maybe perpetrators will come forward and get help before they do anything. >> sadly, i mean, these men are sick and we have to find ways to protect these children. boys and girls. >> but i just wonder, clearly, they are sick. you put yo

also a southern italian, so because the disgraced pope was a southern italian, he would return the name to circulation. >> rose: so back to lucretius.wk we should le? >> he thought you should lead a simple life essentially. not an extremely stripped of all pleasures. he thought that the center of life, the thing that -- all human beings, because all living creatures want is pleasure. not virtue, not glory, not the success of the state, not piety, but pleasure. the enhancement of pleasure and avoidance of pain. he thought we shared that with turtles and worms, all creatures, and that anything that made sense our lives, including the hical world that we live in, t choices we make in our lives would somehow have to be connected to the enhancementof pleasure and reduction of pain, but heidn't think that that pleasure mnt binge drinking,extravagant orgies, that sort of. he's a follohe thought you needt as a relatively simple arrangement, and that on the whole under pursue pleasure in a iet way. he hated the coliseum, gladiators, skeptical about the service to the state. it wasn't until a rem

up next to max and stacey ask whether the pope should be keeping the pontiff preys on a man who's lost hundreds of millions of dollars of people's money. i max kaiser this is the kaiser report i'm here in ireland kilkenny ireland there's a new song in ireland it goes like this on looking over a three point six billion euro clover but i overlook before you know it's the new president and the new minister of finance people have discovered a three point six billion euro hole in the accounting budget that they didn't see before such is the way things are going here in ireland herbert yes max this is the luck of the irish speaking the irish going to be the irish times here three point eight billion euros in cuts and tax increases coming in budget michael noonan the finance minister says e.u. i.m.f. bailout condition sacro sanct well you would think the two would match up you know i just talk about a three point six billion dollar magical leprechaun like find by the new president and this three point eight billion dollar requirement of cuts you think they would match up but of course in this

. >>> pope benedict greeted by crowds of children on second day in africa.nnounced plans to encourage peace and reconciliation in the region. w going corruption. can release stress and get everything you need. groupons to get your drink on. where you can find them. good morning maryland continues on this monday, november 21st. [ male announcer ] now at subway, get a free 6-inch sandwich of your choice when you buy a 6-inch sandwich before 9am. that's right, buy one, get one free! it's everything you'd expect from the sandwich experts! hurry in before 9am to get your free sandwich! hellmann's and holiday leftovers become irresistibly creamy turkey casserole. real delicious hellmann's. make it real. make it different. >>> if you are heading out for thanksgiving, gas prices are down a little bit. aaa reports drivers are paying an average of $3.35 a gallon for regular unleaded. baltimore $0.07 cheaper. we are working for you, helping you safe if you are going to travel for the holidays. head to abc2news.com, click on traffic and then gas prices. >>> one way to a

pictures of the pope making out with a muslim leader.s lawyers. 3 the penn state involved as an lleged victim's mother comes forward. she says her son's own elementary schooo atteepted to cover-up her concerns abbut coach sanduskyys behaviorr tommy andres haa the latestton the investigation. investiggtion. &p"i want jerry sandusky to go life."the mother of alleged "victim numbee one" in the grand jury report againsttthe former assistant penn state footbaal coach spoke oo the phone to c-n-n's anderron cooper.sse says her son's school questioned the boy after she complained about sandusky taking him out off plassswithout her permission. "thee told me my son had said some thingg that there was a problem with jerry, he didn't really admit anything at that poinn, he just said he needed to tell someone or it would get worse.."then the ppincipal said oh, you know, jerry has a heart of gold.""i said it right now. they said no, i ce eeded to ttink about thee ramifications about what would happen if i did that." (what do yoo think they meant by ph

>> well, she wasn't popular among the popes at the time. several of them were, you know, in office during her reign. for good reason. her father, henry viii was an equal opportunity persecutor, a staunch catholic but at a certain moment decided to seize the wealth of the monasteries, and at least tilt the country in the protestant direction, but managed to continue to persecute protestants. then his son edward was a k450i8d when he came to the throne. was really much more dock trinly protestant in the hands of tutors and guardians who were very -- you know, much more determined catholic. they persecuted the catholics. then when edward died, edward's sister mary came to the throne. and mary tutor was a very committed catholic. so they started burning protestants in the country. those who hadn't been able to escape to the continent. so the country had gone back and forth. elizabeth had been extremely circumspect. she had a fantastically dangerous childhood because any indication -- she was in the tower much of the time. any indication that sh

yes, he's on the list with popes and heads of state. we'll show you where he landed, later. >>> plus ermen cain declared a couple of nights ago, that china is pursuing nuclear weapons. that it has had since 1964. the late-night guys weigh in on that bit of foreign policy insight. >>> it was for this former wrestler, the preliminary equivalent of a body slam. >> now it's 1998, and the american dream lives on in minnesota, as we sack the world! ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. sweet & salty nut bars... they're made from whole roasted nuts and dipped in creamy peanut butter, making your craving for a sweet & salty bar irresistible, by nature valley. when someone changes lanes without warning? or when you're distracted? when you're falling asleep at the wheel? do you know how you'll react? lexus c now precisely test

tonight benneton is signaling tomorrow the ads are going to be pulled, especially the ones with the pope. the other leaders will still be kissing. >> i like unhating suches anyone, but with two men kissing it seemed like it has more on the agenda than selling clothes. and what does it say about women's roles in society? kimberly wrote this. seems to me that their goal might be to start some conversations. and if so, it's working. and katie has this to say, it's gross. couldn't they all get together and hold hands or something. if you want to join the conversation about the ad, go to wusa9.com and click on our facebook link. >>> do airport body scanners increase your risk of cancer? this has been an ongoing debate in the u.s. but in europe it looks like they picked a side. they are now ordering the airports to stop using the scanners because of the possible cancer risk. u.s. radiation expert says the scanner can deliver up to 20 times more radiation than previously thought. but many doctors call the health worries over that an overreaction. >> you're at higher risk driving to the airport

and said we know that you're coming to rome and will be staging protests again berlusconi and the pope thank you they said for sharing our problems there while drawing free rallies in ukraine have been making international headlines for several years now from protesting against the alarming rate of prostitution especially with the upcoming you are twenty twelve tournament exposing flaws in ukraine's politics now they're looking even further afield those of them with dealing with. went through the classic famine is no longer works it is if you excuse me impotent but what we do by. the desired effect that's why not only ukraine needs us but europe as well who are planning to take over the world. while we see how well you were received in europe remember your colorful actions in ukraine where are you planning to expand now but of those that. we received lots of letters telling us to continue fighting against religious and justice towards women especially in the muslim states that's where we want to develop we are even ready to go to iran or any other islamic state to stage our topless pro

the most provocatively image of all is pope benedict xvi planting one on an imam. italian fashion giant is known for trendy merchandise but what was it thinking this time? encouraging what benetton calls unhate. >> we want to create a new energy toward tolerance, respecting others and finding the elements in common rather than the elements that separate you from the others. >> reporter: the vatican wanted to separate itself immediately from the ads and announced what it called the firmest protest for this absolutely unacceptable use of the image of the holy father. it called on missions worldwide to take proper legal measures. in the end, both sides prevailed. there is still a french kiss from president nicolas sarkozy for germany's angela merkel but the offending ad has been pulled in many places. and wouldn't you know it, the ad campaign itself is getting exactly the attention it aimed for. jonathan mann, cnn, atlanta. >>> still ahead on "a.m. wake-up call," millions are expected to hit the road starting today for the thanksgiving holiday. that ride is expected t

. >>> pope benedict started using a rolling platform to get around.a sign of a more serious condition? >>> and it's been a year and five months since 7-year-old kyron horman disappeared from outside his school in portland, oregon. have we gotten any closer to finding him? the other office devices? they don't get me. they're all like, "hey, brother, doesn't it bother you that no one notices you?" and i'm like, "doesn't it bother you you're not reliable?" and they say, "shut up!" and i'm like, "you shut up." in business, it's all about reliability. 'cause these guys aren't just hitting "print." they're hitting "dream." so that's what i do. i print dreams, baby. [whispering] big dreams. ♪ ♪ ♪ when the things that you need ♪ ♪ come at just the right speed, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ medicine that can't wait legal briefs there by eight, ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪ ♪ freight for you, box for me box that keeps you healthy, ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪ ♪ saving time, cutting stress, when you use ups ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ walk, little walk ♪ small talk, big thoughts

three ukrainian feminist activists have been arrested after attempting a topless protest against the pope at the vatican one try to strip in st peter's square shouting freedom for women and approaches by the famine group over women's rights and the pontiff conservative views the three were bundled away by police shortly after pope benedict made his regular sunday address a simulated trip to mars involving a crew of six being cooped up for five hundred twenty days have been successfully completed the longest ever such experiment the mars five hundred project undertaken at a moscow space institute auster examined how the human mind and body would cope on long duration spaceflight artie's dunbarton let them as they stepped out into daylight for the first time in a year and a half after their virtual voyage. back on earth. of the well actually they never left but pale faced bleary eyed these six men are returning from a five hundred twenty day epic mockup of a mission to mars and back they're thankful to be back among their fellow earth to others it is really really great to see you all again