pugsley will have a wonderful time. time? 7:45. what's going on here? the new toy for pugsley. what? pugsley's new toy. will you shut that thing off? new toy for pugsley. oh, that's ridiculous. why? why? why? he's got one already. oh. well, in that case, i'll have a nice talk with the boy. hey, this thing is contagious. i'll return this thing. no, i'll take it. boy, this thing really works! what's the matter, darling, can't you sleep? i know, how about if i read you a nice ghost story? i don't feel like a bedtime story tonight. oh? all right, darling, try to get some rest. good night. pugsley, what on earth are you doing? i'm writing a letter. a letter? scented? licorice, my favorite. "and the way you squint your little beady eyes is real keen." pugsley darling, that's no way to write a love letter. why? what should i say? oh, i do wish i had some of the letters your father wrote me when we were courting. why, thank you, thing. that's very thoughtful. now, your father wrote some very fiery letters. here's one. that was a little too fiery. let's see. no, i don't think so. now, k

pugsley and i are ready. ah, good. you're so thorough, gomez. so efficient, so precise. an two ways to beautify america. i like the swinging ball, but this may do the job better and faster. you ready, pugsley? ready, sir. to improve the american landscape. back to nature. beautiful, gomez. beautiful! i'll have to speak to that newsboy. i've told him we wanted the paper delivered through the back window. cara mia, look. "abigail adams returning to boston. "drops plans for fight over addams family fortune control." (fingers snapping rhythmically) ? they're creepy and they're kooky ? mysterious and spooky ? they're altogether ooky ? the addams family ? the house is a museum ? when people come to see 'em ? they really are a scream ? the addams family man: neat. sweet. petite. ? so get a witch's shawl on ? a broomstick you can crawl on ? we're gonna pay a call on

now, pugsley, dear, a man's charm comes from inner strength. not from outer bulges. look at your father, did you ever see a better example d the whole thing without a single push-up, pull-up, sit-up, sweat-up. the entire thing accomplished through the sheer glory of zen-yogi. zen-yogi has made your father what he is today. that plus the sheer beauty of his soul. querida. darling. let's have no more talk of biceps and triceps. do as your father does. okay, mother, i'll try. darling. oh, just look at him. gaining inner strength. inner strength and a flat head. fester, don't knock anything until you've really tried it. how true, darling. now, uncle fester, your letter from yvette. oh, forget it. (thumping) gomez, darling, did you hear something? just a thump. (thumping) what he's up to. he'll be coming through the ceiling in a minute, we can ask him. i have a better idea. (gong resounding) you rang? yes, lurch. would you go upstairs and check on uncle fester? there seems to be a lot of thumping going on up there. yes, mrs. addams. you thumped. oh, lurch. i'm in terrible

pugsley, wednesday, why aren't you in bed? i thought we put you to bed hours ago. we couldn't sleep. it's so nice and gloomy. this is the best storm since lightning put coming from his head? it was a beautiful sight, wasn't it? it was indeed lovely. but this is no time for sentimental reminiscences. come along children, i'm going to read you a nice bedtime story. but we don't want a bedtime story. but darling, i was going to read one of your favorites, dear mr. poe's murder in the rue morgue. ah, poe does have a way with whimsy. we'd rather hear the rest of the story and father got married. oh, now, let's not go into that old chestnut. gomez, darling, what a terrible way to talk about our beautiful romance! darling, i'm not talking about our beautiful romance, it's what led up to it. nonsense. it's a true-to-life adventure and the children should know all about it. all right. now come along. let's sit right down here, and get comfortable. now, where were we? you just talked french, and father just kissed you. now then, plans for the wedding were in full swing. mort

pugsley: whee! (lurch playing harpsichord) all: happy anniversary! thank you, darlings. well, now, this is a surprise. you didn't think we'd forget your anniversary. not the 13th. that's the lucky one. have you and father really been married 13 years? oh, yes. and there were those who thought it would never happen. go into that tonight. oh, that's my favorite story next to dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. please tell us. well, all right. let's everybody get comfortable. now, originally, your father wasn't supposed to marry me. he was supposed to marry my sister, ophelia. aunt ophelia? she was the catch of the season. aunt ophelia? whoever said that? her mother. granny frump, my old school chum from swamp town high. i'll never forget that day. the sun was shining and the birds were singing. i knew we were in for trouble. gomez, are you gonna spend your whole life sitting there when romance is on the way? (coughing) you're the one that's collapsing. been sitting at that contraption for 22 years. it's time you tried a girl. i don't like girls. well, you can't marry a vaporizer. (fo