knight does. he raises his children from rachel as his own. in fact, after the civil war and reconstruction and after -- ends up living in essentially a black community. he is a radical republican equality under the law of the constitutional amendments. in fact, he helps to build an integrated schoolhouse that whites burn down which then constitutes according to an ex-slave a finalreak with whites and with newton kght we don't to give all the story. we'll say a couple of things. story but we'llnown as a white say a couple things. one he becomes known as a white n is buried in a black cemetery. in many respects newton knight is the john brown of the south. he's more radical than northern abolitionists. i've gotten ahead of myself but let them kinof backtrack and say aittle bit more about wton knight's southern unionism as a not only as a deserter, as a unionist he's a fugitive from justice. and technically, a deserter and certainly unionists it's a capitacrime. in fact, the confederacy is so worried about newton knight and his comrades and his

knight does. he raises h children from rachel as hiswn. and in fact after the civil war and in reconstruction ends up living in esstially a black community he is radical republican sking to uphold the new equaly unr the law ofhe constitutional amements. in fact, he helps t build an integrated schoolhous that whites burn down that then constitutes according to an ex-slave a final break th whites and with newton knight we don't want to give away all the story but we'll say @ouple things. one he becomes known as a white negro because of his decision to live in ts black community and is buried in a black cemetery. in many respects newton knight is the john brown of the south. he's more radical than northern aboll ligsist -- abolitionists. i've gotten ahead of myself but let me backtrack and say a little more aboutewton knight souf earn uni -- southern unionism. as not only a deserter but a uniunionist he i a fugitive from justice. deserter and unionist it's a capital crime. in fact the confederacy is so worried about newton knight and his comr

rachel, that ends up becoming a bad thing later in life? >> it's great to be nice. but how nice should you be? if you're too knightrue feelings. you're holding them back. giving up your needs in relationships. you're trying to be perfect all the time. >> you're a people-pleaser. >> and also not taking healthy risks. the best leaps in our development are taken when we're willing to fail. so if you're trying to be good all the time, you're not going to be able to take those risks. >> it's interesting. i don't feel like you see a lot of boys, perhaps, with this same problem. the girls really feel like they have to somehow please others, do the right thing. >> not make waves. >> absolutely. >> make sure everybody's happy with them. >> how does that affect girls in terms of their success compared to boys even? >> girls, if they don't take risks, they really can't try different things and they can't find out what their real passions are. >> rachel you distinguish between being a good girl and an authentic girl. >> an authentic girl know how she's acting and can react to that. she can say, it's not always going to be the