turn it and transmute it, something that's making it for other people, that you might be calledded redeemtive at moments and make a coheerpt narrative and violence is all about creating chaos and incoherence, and i think that probably -- i'm convinced that one of the reasons it's important that both writers' mothers died young is that loss is such a provider of urgency in that mission. the rest of us have some urgency, but not that, i don't think, to try to put it all back together with some beauty to get out of the helplessness, out from under the shame, and to try to create something that transcends all that. >> i -- sorry, a different answer. i think that the collective violence bothered my father. i mean, there was personal violence in many places, but the thing he took on with such force was anarchy. i mean, he took it on in the 60s. i think he took it on in heart break. the dean's december basically, he went to row romania with the fourth wife, and he watched the state essentially allow alexander's mother to die. she was a political persona, and she, you know, she was ill. i'm not sure