of canada, that's a hooded burglar coming on to the front deck, the front porch of a couple named rob annie coal. he comes in and steals things that are not his. global news in canada spoke to the lovely copal. >> it was one individual who patrolled the neighborhood. we were part of the routine. >> it happened over and over again, that's why they have the surveillance cameras, that's why they built the deck around. >> officers say, well, you should move. >> that's what they tell you? >> that's not a solution at all. >> so rob and nicole came up with a solution. watch the front door swing wide open, and there's rob, and rob's got a gun. >> is that a paint ball gun? >> it is. >> i went out the front. i saw him coming around with his bicycle, and then i started to shoot at him with my paint ball. >> bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. >> that's awesome. >> he's got the camo pants on. >> hit him with a few paint balls, and guess what? this dude had not been back. >> he knows he's being watched. >> police said not a good idea to engage the guy because he could be dangerous or under the influence of so

. >> first annie leibovitz and then jay-z and beyonce didn't show up. something happened in this that made it spiral. >> and rob >> over pictures. >> over pictures.

rob ford musical this september. it's called "smokelahoma." [ laughter ] it's called "flaberet." it's called "crack rock of ages." it's called "the best little crack house in toronto." it's called "annier pipe." oh, you get it. [ cheers and applause ] you get it. it's one of those. this is crazy. true, but it's crazy. last weekend, the second annual smallest penis pageant took place in brooklyn. [ laughter ] and for the second year in a row, the winner was the guy who arrived in a porsche. [ laughter and applause ] and between you and me, i heard the winner was just nuts. [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] not sure -- not sure what to make of this. this week, 35,000 jehovah witnesses are meeting in new orleans at the superdome. so, if you live in the superdome, do not answer your doorbell this week. [ laughter ] also, i'm sorry that you live in the superdome. [ laughter ] this is pretty cool. this week, the fda approved human testing of bananas that are engineered to have higher vitamin content. said monkeys, "hey, the one time we want to be tested on!" [ laughter ] "we love bananas. humans testing the bananas? you guys! this was the time to use monkeys, you guys! man! gosh. it's