but who knows that robert hirsch, my radio operator, who was -- had often talked about what i want to do in the future, do i want to go to medical school, do i want -- suppose this was the guy who would go to medical school, become the next great ben carson, brain surgeon, whatever? those are all things that you think about in hindsight. >> this is what you thought about over the years? >> this is what i thought about over the years. for a number of years, until joe wrote this book, until joe and hal wrote this book, i would not, first of all, be able to do this interview, nor would i have been able to sit down and talk to anybody about it. because when he first called me i said, you obviously have the wrong guy because i do not want to talk about what happened to me in vietnam. and in a lot of ways, i'm still reluctant to do it. for a lot of the guys that you will interview here -- and this is not a criticism. for a lot of the guys that you will interview here, this is their life. they are locked here. they are -- i can do this once a year or maybe twice, but after that, it is really