joining me now to talk about how to cope are two great psychologists, jeff gardier and robi ludwig.eff, let me begin with you. you say there are different kinds of stress, particularly this time of year, that we need to try to get a handle on. and let us say it's self-imposed, right? >> i would say that probably is the number one stress that is -- that we deal with, the stress that we put upon ourselves because we have this whole idea from everything we hear in the media, and we love the media, of course, but they're telling us we need to be perfect. we need to go out and get the gifts if we truly want to show our love. especially for the women. you saw the apa poll. it shows more women are stressed out than men. that's because women are the hostesses with the mostss. and they feel they have to do everything for everyone and everything has to be perfect at the dinner table. >> if it's mostly self-imposed, robi, that means you have to look within to try to manage the stres. you have to talk yourself out of saying i have to do or be everything for everyone? >> absolutely. i think when