ron hubbard.. hubbard invented a way to get rid of the bad thetans. this is called an "e-meter". it's the main tool of scientology. you just grab hold of these handles, as i talk you through past experiences in your life. i'll be taking readings, here, and we'll be able to determine your thetan levels. - thetan levels... - come on in the auditing room, and i'll show you how it works! all these people are just like you, stan, auditing with e-meters to get rid of their negative emotions! all right, stan, i want you to just relax and take hold of the e-meter handles. - so this is going to make me happy? - just take a few deep breaths and i'll just get a base reading of your thetan levels. - [deep breath] [humming & beeping] - huh, that's-- that's strange. - what? - something's... something's wrong. - brian, could you come over here a second? - yeah, oh, hey there, greg! - stan. - will you look at his thetan levels? - huh. well, get another e-meter, this one is obviously broken. sorry, about this greg