let the paradigm shift come to you, ronny chieng. >> ronny: yeah, i think i'm in it right now. >> jordaney" will be released in select theaters and on demand may 3rd. for more information, go to findingmoneyfilm.com. stephanie kelton. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ look at the salt on that dressed dos equis. after two billion years underground, that salt could've ended up in a half-empty box in a half-empty pantry. but now, it's lucky enough to find itself circling an authentic mexican dos equis. (♪♪) congratulations, salt. from where you sit now, (♪♪) it's clear your patience paid off handsomely. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ dsg family clothing and gear priced to win. only at dicks to help save for our home, we stopped going on trips and giving each other expensive gifts. we handmade them instead. that one took me three weeks. getting prequalified for a home loan was easier. it only took like 3 minutes. - it■s you. - it■s me. (♪♪) basketball's a very physical sport. i get a lot of marks throughout the season. it's a sign of hard work. you

this is "the daily show" with your hosts, jordan klepper and ronny chieng! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> ronny: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. and he's jordan klepper. >> jordan: i actually am! and we've got so much to talk about tonight. congress finally passes a bill. tennessee teachers are getting strapped. and pickleball is coming for your family. so let's get into the headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with the a major announcement from the president of the united states. >> it is a good day for america, it's a good day for europe, and it's a good day for world peace. >> jordan: ooh, a good day for world peace! i've wanted one of those! i wonder what happened. did the nations of the world finally band together to outlaw war? did they finally buy everyone in the world a coke? is there finally peace between kendrick and drake? what is it? >> moments ago at the white house, president biden signed a long-awaited aid package for ukraine, israel, and taiwan into law. >> in total, about $95 billion will go toward assisting ukraine and i

let the paradigm shift come to you, ronny chieng. >> ronny: yeah, i think i'm in it right now. >> jordane money" will be released in select theaters and on demand may 3rd. for more information, go to findingmoneyfilm.com. stephanie kelton. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ look at the salt on that dressed dos equis. after two billion years underground, that salt could've ended up in a half-empty box in a half-empty pantry. but now, it's lucky enough to find itself circling an authentic mexican dos equis. (♪♪) congratulations, salt. from where you sit now, (♪♪) it's clear your patience paid off handsomely. i love your dress. oh thanks! i splurged a little because liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great. i know, right? i've been telling everyone. baby: liberty. did you hear that? ty just said her first word. can you say “mama”? baby: liberty. can you say “auntie”? baby: liberty. how many people did you tell? only pay for what you need. jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ baby: ♪ liberty.

it's ronny chieng and desi lydic. [cheers and applause] i'm going to start with ronny chieng.ndela. both are two heroes, unjustly persecuted by a corrupt legal system. and as mandela often said, and i quote, "this is a witch hunt hoax. i've never even met horse face." >> i totally disagree, ronny. jesus christ. he's obviously jesus christ. it's right there in the new testament, or in its sequel, "the art of the deal." chapter 10, verse 8. "and lo, he evicted the rent-controlled tenants. and it was good. and tremendous and vicious and beautiful. jesus. wow." [cheers and applause] >> hang on. think about this for a second. trump and mandela? they both had three wives. jesus didn't even have a serious girlfriend. the guy had no rizz. >> jon: i don't think rizz -- anyway. mandela was in prison for 27 years. >> yeah, but if you add up all the prison sentences trump got for other people from january 6th, and his campaign, and his business, it's way more than 27 years! okay? trump is, like, ten nelson mandelas. >> no, ronny, trump is jesus. they both have a ton of buildings with thei

this is "the daily show" with your hosts, jordan klepper and ronny chieng! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jordan: welcome to "the daily show," i'm jordan klepper. >> ronny: and i'm ronny chieng. we've got so much to talk about tonight. college campuses are protesting, donald trump's enemies are surrendering, and the supreme court wonders if the president can kill you for fun. >> jordan: but first, donald trump is still on trial, so let's catch up with another installment of "america's most tremendously wanted." [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> jordan: today was a big day for donald trump versus johnny law with the former president fighting the man at every level of the legal system. >> ronny: but things actually started off pretty good for trump. after months of calling him unfit for office, trump's attorney general bill barr said he's voting for him anyway and trump responded with as much grace as you would expect. >> so the former president posting on truth central that "wow, former attorney general bill barr has just endorsed me for pre

ronny chieng and jordan klepper, everyone. when we come back, we'll get schooled by donald trump. away. [cheers and applause] my life is full of questions... mom, is yellow a light or a dark? how do i clean an aioli stain? thankfully, tide's the answer to almost all of them. why do we even buy napkins? use tide. can cold water clean white socks? it can with tide. do i need to pretreat guacamole? not with tide. this is chocolate, right? -just use... -tide...yeah. no matter who's doing it, on what cycle, or in what temperature, tide works. so i can focus on all the other questions. do crabs have eyebrows? ahh... for all of life's laundry questions, it's got to be tide. ♪♪ ♪♪ live up to it. the all-new gx. ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." the election is well underway and donald trump is back on the campaign trail this week, talking about the issue that's most important to americans. >> i got indicted more than alphonse capone, al capone, scarface, you know how bad he was. you know, these are -- i know some of the guys in the front row, they're toug

ronny chieng and jordan klepper, everyone. when we come back, we'll get schooled by donald trump. away. [cheers and applause] auntie, you can't put that right in the dishwasher. watch me. with cascade platinum plus i have upped my dish game. i just scrape... load... and i'm done. in that dishwasher? in that dishwasher. only platinum plus is packed with more dawn to remove up to 100% of grease and food residue. get the highest standard of clean, even in your machine. clean enough for ya? yeah. scrape, load, done. cascade platinum plus. dare to dish differently. ♪♪ the lexus take on luxury... ...take it wherever you go. the all-new gx. ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." the election is well underway and donald trump is back on the campaign trail this week, talking about the issue that's most important to americans. >> i got indicted more than alphonse capone, al capone, scarface, you know how bad he was. you know, these are -- i know some of the guys in the front row, they're tough guys. if you ever looked at alphonse capone, you wouldn't be tough at

i am ronny chieng. >> i had to recognize all the great work he was doing for the new york community.ody ever given you a thank you card, a trophy, a plaque, a certificate for the public service you are doing? >> that will be ridiculous. no one has done that. >> that is going to change at. >> about? >> because on behalf of "the daily show," we got to your ghost plate. i see you, gersh. that's amazing. >> to my favorite ghost plate killer, when it comes to busting ghost plates, who are you going to call? gersh. wow. >> think, gersh, for being the annoying snitch new york city needs to keep its streets safe. and you can "thank me later." ♪ ♪ >> desi: thank you, michael. when we come back, representative colin allred will be joining me on the show. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] (woman) welcome to lobsterfest. is your party ready? (vo) ready to attack this new lobster & shrimp stack? ready for your lobster lover's dream to come true? they're two of ten lobster creations. plus, cheddar bays for days. lobsterfest is ending soon, so hurry in. name an ingredient you can see in... ..

let's go live to ronny chieng in kerrville, texas, and grace kuhlenschmidt at niagara falls. applause] what a day! what a spectacular day! grace, what's the mood out they are in niagara falls? >> it's eclipse day! the sky was dark, but the moods were bright. because this event was out of this world! jon? >> jon: oh, fantastic. oh, grace, that is fantastic. ronny? >> thanks, jon. the eclipse was fine. but too bad they don't make a special kind of glasses that would allow us to truly look directly at the horrors that are occurring around the world, especially in gaza. >> jon: that's very true, ronny. very true. those were powerful words. grace? >> oh... ga -- gaza... it's terrible. not terrible was the krispy kreme special edition solar eclipse doughnut i had earlier. [applause] it was in the path of taste-ality. it was -- it was really good. >> is that a tambourine? >> no, no! well, technically it is. i was gonna do an eclipse dance, but it doesn't seem appropriate. >> jon: i'd really like to see the dance. [cheers and applause] >> yeah, do the dance. [playing tambourine] >> ♪

before we go, let's check in with your hosts for the rest of the week, ronny chieng and jordan kleppernews to cover, and personally, i'll be looking at it all through the lens of my white privilege. >> yes, and i'll be lending my insight on what matters the most to the asian community. >> i'll be very leftist and anti-trump. >> while i'll be offering an angry, "everyone-is-stupid" counterpoint. >> jon: i don't want to say anything but i think you are reading each other's lines. >> saw that. >> [bleep]. >> it's too late, we've got to commit to it now! >> look at me, i am jordan klepper! i'm making fun of trump supporters, they're so dumb and i'm so smart and tall! >> right. "i'm short and mad and asian!" >> jon: thank you, looking forward to it. now here it is, your "moment of zen." [cheers and applause] >> so the legal walls are starting to close in on donald trump. >> the walls once again begin to close in on donald trump. >> of the walls are closing in on trump. >> more walls are closing around him than ever before. >> we have been saying the walls are closing in for two years but it