this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. we've got so much to talk about tonight. republicans are out for revenge, caitlin clark is getting bullied, and we found an inspiring story about how elon musk introduced a remote tribe to hardcore porn. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with the only presidential candidate with an ankle monitor, donald trump. last week, the corrupt and woke dei justice system found him guilty of 34 felonies, and now he's saying if he gets back into power, he's going to get his revenge on the people who had nothing to do with it. >> donald trump is again suggesting his political opponents could be jailed if he wins re-election, including former secretary of state hillary clinton. >> does that mean the next president does it to them? that's really the question. wouldn't it be terrible to throw the president's wife and the former secretary of state into jail? it's very p

ronny chi chieng. >> desi: and i'm ronny chieng!ronny: and i'm desi lydic. damn! >> desi: let's get into the headlines. if >> ronny: let's kick things off with some major international news. you know when you are in middle school in your two worst enemies had a sleepover and spent the whole night talking shit about you? that just happened to america. >> tonight, two of america's first just adversaries together on north korean soil. vladimir putin arriving in pyongyang for the first time in nearly a quarter of a century. >> north korea's kim jong un pulling out all the stops in an elaborately choreographed state visit for russian president vladimir putin. the outcast and sanctioned leaders side-by-side reviewing troops, cheered by crowds of children with balloons. the two unveiled a strategic defense treaty, promising mutual assistance in case either country faces aggression. >> ronny: best friends for forever! russia, north korea, it's the perfect alliance! they go together like vodka and famine. everyone wins. i mean, russia gets n

>> ronny: and i'm ronny chieng! tonight you get two hosts and that means two times the fun! >> ronny: that sounds like a lot of work. how about we have half as much fun as usual and combine it for a normal amount of fun? >> desi: that sounds easier, let's do that. >> ronny: great, let's get right into the headlines. [applause] let's kick things off with some big sports news. at last meant the boston celtics won the nba championship. [applause] now they have a record number of championships, 18. one more than the lakers and somehow 25 more than the clippers? and now they are ready to celebrate with the city of boston. if at first, are going somewhere fun. >> according to "the boston globe," before the celtics returned to boston they will first spend a few days celebrating their win in miami. the plan to return to boston on friday. [laughter] speak to of course they are going to celebrate in miami. i mean, you've got to go to where the butts are! and boston doesn't have any good ones, even though they have a ton of as

for more on the situation at the international space station, let's go there live with ronny chieng. ] you are floating! ronny, you're embedded with the crew? what's the mood up there? >> it's fine, kosta. everyone needs to calm down. this isn't the mets. these people are professionals. yeah, there were a couple of leaks, but they're all fixed and we'll be back on earth soon. >> michael: that's great news. and perfect timing, because the trump-biden debate is tomorrow and we need you back to watch the whole thing. >> oh... right. the debates are tomorrow. yeah, very excited for that. oh, wait, what's that? what did you say, real astronaut right over there? oh, wow, michael, they just discovered a new leak. it's going to take exactly one more day to fix it. >> michael: that's terrible news. you'll miss the debate. >> i know, i really wanted to cover two men trying to out-dementia each other. but unfortunately now i have to stay up here and eat that cool astronaut ice cream. oh, no. >> michael: that's okay, though. you'll be back in plenty of time to report at the conventions. so that's

this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! s and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. we've got so much to talk about tonight. north korea is waging the world's dirtiest war, spelling bee is a scam, and finally, there's a place to see porn on the internet. did you know that? because i didn't. but first, joe biden has decided to start trying to win the election, so let's get into our latest installment of "indecision 2024!" ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with the southern border: it's the line where america stops mowing its lawn. and border security is one of president biden's biggest weaknesses. it's why he tried to make a border deal with republicans earlier this year, and it's also why republicans refused to make a deal with him. they were like, "how can we blame this for you if you fix it, you idiot?" so now, with his polls tanking five months before election day, biden is saying, "[bleep] it, i'll just do it myself." >> president biden taking major ste

this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! se] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> ronny: hey, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. here is what we have for you tonight. pride month is getting some backlash, joe biden is remembering the good old days, and donald trump is looking for a new vp to hang with, and then maybe hang. so let's get into the headlines! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with president joe biden, who was in france today to commemorate the 80th anniversary of d-day with veterans of the battle. and spending time with these veterans is incredibly important to joe biden, because being next to them is the only time he looks young. don't forget -- and this is true -- joe biden was actually alive back when d-day happened. and i'm pretty sure when a-day, b-day, and c-day happened too. now, if you don't know your history, d-day was the day allied soldiers stormed the beaches of normandy in world war ii. and i can appreciate the difficulty and danger they faced, because the beach at normandy is b

ronny chieng! ronny chieng!e looking at international stories, because i figure at least one of the 37 hosts of this show should be thinking about places besides america. speaking of which, hey! new president of mexico. mazel tov! l'chaim! >> jon: "mazel tov"? why are you mazel tov'ing me? >> oh, because she, you know... she's got -- you know, eats the challah. she's the chosen one. >> jon: she's jewish? >> whoa, whoa, whoa. you said it, not me. okay? >> jon: that's not a slur. you can say jewish. >> not with the hard "ish." i'm just saying, hey, if an asian dude won president of mexico, i'd be hyped. i'd throw a big party for my staff and maybe give everyone sitting next to me a hundred bucks. >> jon: i'm not giving you $100. stay tuned for ronny chieng this week. and check out my new podcast, "the weekly show with jon stewart," starting this thursday. here it is, your "moment of zen" >> using the justice system to engage in a politically driven prosecution and now conviction of a major political party nominee

[cheers and applause] ronny chieng, desi lydic. what's up with the diamonds?nce thomas? >> what? >> what? >> oh, my god, no! >> harlan? he would never do that! >> salt of the earth. >> jon: because i thought you'd be covering the clarence thomas -- >> i've gotta stop you there, jon. for us to cover that story now, after accepting these wonderful gifts would be unethical. >> sometimes i think we're almost too ethical. >> jon: definitely. desi lydic and ronny chieng, everybody. now, here it is, your "moment of zen." >> i love milwaukee! >> i know you do. >> it is amazing. >> while speaking to republicans, trump called milwaukee "a horrible city." >> can i say something to milwaukee. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ a