the first shock for me was the killing of roshdi sarraj, third or fourth day of the war. freelancer. i saw him in khan younis, we were evacuating together, i saw him in khan younis and i told him, we are the only two rushdis. we are the two carrying this name, among all the journalists, so be careful about yourself. that is the last time i saw him. the next day he went back to gaza city to collect something from his house, a lens or something, and then the house was destroyed, he was killed. it was the first shock for me. very quickly, wael al—dahdouh, the aljazeera bureau chief, is my close friend. we grew up together, we learn in the same university, we lived in the same building for a long time. suddenly he lost his wife and kid. that day i told the bbc, i can't do anything about him. i have to drive now to see him, and to be with him. the last one i saw when i left gaza that morning, six o'clock in the morning, was leaving my tent in nasser hospital, i saw samer abu daqqa, that al jazeera cameraman. he said, "oh, you are going!" i said, "yes, i wish you will go soon,