and my guest ross eisenbrey is the vice president of a labor issues think tank. the economy is so bad, he had to get a night-thinking job. [ laughter ] mcdonalds is launching the mcbaguette in france. wait till those people try french fries. [ laughter ] this is "the colbert report." [cheers and applause] ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. nation, i don't like to toot my own horn. i'm not that flexible. [ laughter ] but tonight is our 1,000th show! [cheers and applause] woooo!!!!çÑi boom! 1,000, book! [cheers and applause] 1,000, boom! [cheers and applause] suck it, simpsons! oooh, you just hit 500 episodes. wow. it only took you 23 years. and don't give me that whole it's and matted (bleep). -- it's animated. (bleep). i'm claymation. and folks, think of all i've accomplished together. hundreds of threats scores of words, and all the fan favorites the pulse, on my radar, bring 'em back or leave