oh, my god, it's russell crowe! [ mockingly ] "oh, my god, it's russell crowe! oh, my --" bluh bluh bluh! why don't you go flush yourself down a toilet, ya -- [ horn toots ] [ gasps ] uh-oh, tugger's whistle. you know what that means. ♪ tugger's whistle's blowin' ♪ ♪ means we must be goin' ♪ no more russell crowe'n for you ♪ ♪ but now, don't you start to whine ♪ ♪ i'll see ya again next time ♪ ♪ 'cause there's plenty a more a-fightin' left to do ♪ ♪ making movies, making songs ♪ and fightin' 'round the world ♪ see ya next time, everybody! [ horn tooting ] so, i'm supposed to press "menu," then "function," then "enter." -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com captions paid for by mtv networks >> jon: december 13, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight... i think you're going to enjoy the conversation. i think you're going

it resembles russell crowe and he is miniature. >> thank you for that.ooks like franken berry went goth. >> this is not goth. >> i was assuming you would wear something goth and you didn't. >> are you so married to the script -- >> i didn't even change the joke. >> when was this a dean martin wedding? >> i don't disagree. this is the spokesman they have for this guy who is bitching about it. you can't defend a case in the dark. you can't shadow box when you don't know who is punching. it is like, i hope he is better at criminal defense than analogies. yes, you can't -- who is punching is you. when you shadow box you box yourself. you can't play solitaire if you don't know who is dealing. >> you can't shadow box in the dark because there is no shadow in the dark. >> it is all one big shadow. it is like the glass is half empty. >> i'm sure you think the 10 commandments have no place in society. i think you have no place in society. >> there are 10 command ment's put in the soup kitchen. the 10 commandments have a place -- they have it many, many places, ch

russell crowe was filming "proof of life," and i was and an extra in the background of the movie. >>why are you looking at me? for some old information? [ laughter ] who is five centuries ago. >> i was merely including you. >> ellen: thank you. >> we don't want you to feel left out. >> ellen: thank you. >> yeah. >> jay: a little cougar action happening. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> ellen: too old for me. >> jay: i don't think so. >> ellen: he shaves. >> jay: he shaves, yeah, a a little too old. so, okay, so, did you want to be an actor at that time? did you know? >> i did yeah. i'd been doing school plays and stuff. so i walked up to russell asked and asked him, you know, what's it like to be an actor? he said "oh, well, you know, it's great. sometimes they treat you great, sometimes they don't and the money is pretty good, too." and theneveryone came running up, and i sort of waived at him and i said quick, run, because they were all looking for autographs. and two days later, i got a a signed picture of him in gladiator saying, "a journey of a thousand miles begins wit