sabrina spellman. ( applause ) sabrina, will you oh, i, uh... dashiell: hey, sabrina, you want to go to the dance with me? down here! ( screams ) i take it that's a no? look, i can, uh, i can give you an answer tomorrow, but first i have to go give the chef my compliments. dashiell, you're going to get me in trouble. i-i can't be talking to you when you're in a cream sauce. dashiell: i can't be responsible for my actions, sabrina. i care about you too much. oh, that's sweet. you know, i had a lot of fun going to dinner in atlantis the other night. great! so say yes and go to the dance with me. look, i can tell you more tomorrow. i'll know so much more about everything tomorrow. hey! there's nothing greater in life than creaming someone in chess over the internet. you said the same thing about finding food in the couch. okay, bye. that was mr. kraft. he wants us to chaperone the dance with him friday night. i told him we'd love to. oh, no. ugh, you know what that means? a stolen moment in the janitor's closet? no. it means i'll have to spend my w

sabrina: "in honor of sabrina spellman." and i didn't even have to die! okay, okay. everybody, attention. because of the outstanding work that sabrina has done on her schoolwork the school board has decided that no existing grade is adequate. so, sabrina, we give you this. choir: ( over loudspeaker ) ? hallelujah, hallelujah... ? i have to remember to be modest and humble and... oh, the heck with that. this is great. thank you. ? hallelujah... ? ( zelda moaning ) oh, go on. you couldn't admire all my work. that we do, rincess. your face is on all our money. i heard you, zelda. ready to sign the papers? you know what? i think i'll hold on to my country. well, it's your country. it's your choice. right. of course this means war. what?! change your mind? no. neither did i. you promised me that country prepare to fight! fine! would this be a good time to discuss taxes? how'd your just dessert turn out? great. but that little bit of acclaim has given me quite a sweet tooth. don't do it, sabrina. you were only supposed to eat one bite. i know, i know, but a couple more won'

sabrina spellman. hi. i see you've met my nephew dashiell. a good, fine young witch for a half-mortal. you right-handed? yeah! wow, it's like looking in a mirror. you know, here at easy way out we're always on the lookout for a few special witches like yourself. this is real community service, right? 'cause i promised my quizmaster... you'll be working at the rumor mill. how's that for real? is that good? in this realm rumors are considered to be the highest form of entertainment. think riverdance with a conscience. but i always thought rumors were bad. trust me, kiddo. the rumor mill is the u.s.o. of witchly community service. a morale builder. as a matter of fact rumors have been proven to make witches healthier. wow, i feel more noble already. come on, witches need our help. let's start our first smear campaign. okay, i'm ready to hit the open road. "i'm with stupid"? don't personalize it. i'm just trying to blend in with middle america. fine. put your stuff in the pickup i rented. what? are they out of dump trucks? it'll be fun. for an al

spellman... you have been accused of being a witch and have been given a chance to defend yourself. who here believes sabrina has a witch card? witch but is letting sabrina off for lack of enthusiasm. ( pounds gavel ) but i confessed! i confessed! nice try, sabrina. no one can accept you're a witch. they are never getting a pizza party now. so how will jenny be punished? libby, we're not going to punish jenny. after what her specter put me through? if it makes you feel any better pretend we hanged her. that's not good enough. shouldn't she at least sit in the stocks until the bus comes? i mean, she's a witch. and we hate witches. ooh... i'm cold. i'm really cold. aren't you guys? no. maybe i'm a little chilly. i just got a wet willie! this is witchcraft! you're taking this too far. but you have to believe me. hah! there's a monkey on my shoulder! there's a monkey on my shoulder! get it off me! get it off me! okay... look... i was making it up before but now i really see a monkey. did you hear that? she was making it up. of course, i was. so you confess? you were just pretending to be cold and itchy and dorky

unfortunately the other member of the committee liked "poetry bash," submitted by sabrina spellman so there will be a brief campaign and you students will vote. great. how will you lose? oh, let me count the ways. ? i'm gonna get under your skin ? ? sooner or later ? ? i found the key that lets me in ? ? sooner or later ? ? yeah ? ? 'cause you just can't keep me down ? ? yeah ? ? 'cause you just can't keep me down ? ? sooner or later ? ? you gonna let me treat you right ? ? sooner or later ? ? yeah ? ? 'cause you just can't keep me down ? ? oh, if you'd only give me ? ? time is really all that i need ? o make you see ? ? i'll make you see... ? hilda? yeah. we're out of cereal. i'm going to need you to pose for the botulism picture. what are you doing? i'm trying to find a potion that will make zelda realize how awful willard really is. then she'll break up with him, and he can get back to the painful, but necessary task of getting over me. i know a little other realm candy shop that sells the best annoyance amplifying sweets around. that's perfect. zelda eats a chocolate and willard's

hello, i'm here to relinquish a minor to a miss sabrina spellman. that's me. hi, amanda. hi. i hope she wasn't too much trouble. i'm retiring. thank you for flying other realm air. i saved my peanuts for us to have together. thanks. see. we're sharing. well, okay, we're off to the spa. [ lightning strikes ] what do you have there? my toy box. i never leave home without it. oh! that's okay. knock yourself out. whoa, i want to play with this. harvey gave me that. please, put that down. but i'm the guest! [ glass shatters ] okay, you can have it. i'm sure harvey's family has other priceless heirlooms. ooh, kitty, you want to play? i don't do "play." but you're so small. i like things big. salem? ( roaring ) turn him back. fine. i wanted to eat you. i feel so cheap. man: welcome to celestial bodies, where you can feel supernatural naturally. complimentary seaweed juice? like there's any other kind. it may be pure seaweed, but with our special blend, you'll swear it's soy milk. tangy. oh, it's the seaweediest. i'll have someone show you your room. we saw "spellman for two" and ass

this custody hearing regarding sabrina spellman will come to order. i'm already in custody. my parents turned my witch training over to my two aunts, and i live with them. your aunts are kaput. the witches' council insists you reside in only one household. why? check article 12, section 15. u have to choose which aunt you wish to live with. this choice will affect the rest of your life, so choose wisely. we'll reconvene later for your decision. ready? you're going down this time, man. come on! come on, then. oh, that's it? no help? i hope you both get... squash elbow! ( soft classical music playing ) ( upbeat rock music playing ) whoo! oh, my... this -- that's -- you should -- you should -- ha ha ha ha. ( upbeat rock music playing ) whoo! ( upbeat rock music playing ) ( soft classical music playing ) ( upbeat rock music playing ) so, sabrina, i trust you've made up your mind which aunt to live with. i can't decide. we'll have to forget the whole thing. we should grant you a "what if" spell. what's a "what if"? it allows you to look into the future and see what might happen i

spellman forgot about us? let's give it another five minutes. sabrina: morning. good morning, sabrina. guess who's going to be your new substitute teacher? me! great. fitting in is hard enough look, it'll only be for a couple of weeks. mr. melena might get out of i.c.u. today. do you think sea monkeys make good pets? if you like low maintenance. how long would it take to hop across the world on your tongue? oh, i don't know-- about six or seven... oh, yeah. this is a much better use of your time than studying for your elements test. for you. an invitation? to what? "you are cordially invited "to enjoy high tea at the 753rd annual quizmaster-pupil social. parking free with validation." cool. sounds like fun. it's got to be better than last year. the highlight was a pi?ata. i'll pick you up this afternoon. today? i can't go today. i have a million things to do. sorry. attendance is mandatory. you know, every once in a while you could try bringing good news. a new pollo loco just opened up by my apartment. i meant good news for me. zelda: hi, sabrina. funny how you know my name and we are