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get it at discover.com right now, buy any samsung galaxy smartphone for $0 down... ... and get a free samsung galaxy tabletetty neat, huh? only at at&t. these nuggets are good. really good. you guys, i need some answers. what have you been feeding me my whole life? these don't even need ketchup. should've known when those other nuggets were shaped like dinosaurs. what else haven't you told me? kfc popcorn nuggets. 100% white meat, extra crispy, and made from the world's best chicken- the way a nugget should be. get them with all this in your next $5 fill up or try them in a go cup. these don't even come with a toy and i don't care. will twizzlers mixed berry bites ever end their rivalry with jolly rancher filled gummy bites? not today. bites. little greatness. ♪ ♪ [ yowls ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ music, indistinct talking on tv ] you're eating all the ammo, sir. remember your training. your whole life has been leading to this moment. [ blows ] [ woman shrieks ] ♪ ♪ can a truck change how people feel about a guy? we talked to real people, not actors. we showed them two pictures of the same guy in the same location. the

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right now, buy any samsung galaxy smartphone for $0 down... ... and get a free samsung galaxy tablet.uh? only at at&t. quiet! mom has a headache! had a headache! but now, i...don't. excedrin® is fast. in fact for some, relief starts in just 15 minutes. excedrin®. wow, that was fast. i don't know what it is... the food, stress or running around but sometimes i feel bloated or gassy, with rumbling, uncomfortable. i feel sluggish and cranky. grrrr! (dog wimpers) you're right, bailey! i need a change! i'm taking the activia challenge! enjoying activia twice a day for four weeks may help reduce the frequency of minor digestive issues like bloating, gas discomfort and rumbling. and if your tummy smiles you can feel like you. try the activia challenge! it works or it's free! ♪ dannon ♪ ♪ insight is knowing you made the right decision from the start. insight is knowing how to handle things that don't go as planned. and sometimes it's knowing when to step back and see things differently. when you have insight, you can handle your finances with confidence. that's why at pnc insight is behind al

right now, buy any samsung galaxy smartphone for $0 down... ... and get a free samsung galaxy tablet. only at at&t. for very dry skin, you need healing. new vaseline intensive care with micro-droplets of vaseline jelly relieves dry skin and moisturizes to heal it in just 5 days. clinically proven. that's the healing power of vaseline. >> reporter: jayne valseca sat in the dirt by the highway on the outskirts of a cop helped her strip away the duct tape round her hands and feet. as he told her that her husband's kidnappers had escaped, she tried to staunch the blood from her injured finger, gashed on that barbed wire fence. she tried to tamp down the terror that grabbed at her throat because she knew what had happened to others. >> my husband was kidnapped on 2001. >> reporter: this woman had already told her horrifying story. >> and every time that we would tell that we don't have the money, so, they cut a finger and they send us the finger. >> reporter: but that was mexico city, one of the kidnapping capitals of the world, where jayne had heard that thousands are snatched every year,

squirting) it's nice ♪ old spice whistle right now, buy any samsung galaxy smartphone for $0 down... ... and get a free samsung galaxy tablet the industry. and when life happens, more peace of mind with service that's number one nationwide. that's more performance, from the #1 appliance store. start your search at sears. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a hilarious comedian. his latest project, "the artie quitter podcast," is available through artiequitter.com. please give a warm welcome to a a good friend of the show. here's artie lange, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yo! [ cheers and applause ] what's up, guys? how are you doing? all right. i just -- i can't get over how much better-looking zoe is and i -- zoe kravitz is way -- has anyone else noticed that? [ laughter ] i mean, she looks like zoe kravitz. i look like danny devito's foot. [ laughter ] has anyone else noticed that? you know, the world has gone crazy. the world has gone nuts. and i blame it all on the kardashian women. [ laughter ] i do. you could blame it -- you could trace every nutty thing that's gone on b

right now, buy any samsung galaxy smartphone for $0 down... ... and get a free samsung galaxy tablet.n minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know pinocchio was a bad motivational speaker? i look around this room and i see nothing but untapped potential. you have potential. you have...oh boy. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. 3 f2 >>> entonces, son las 3 de la we maneuvered ourselves by throat throwing one another across chasms, and my body was a flea way underneath. it was a sheer drop into the water, with the mettle of the ship underneath. so all my adrenaline was going, and thank goodness i grew up as a tomboy climbing trees, so i was very well practiced at this. we made our way to higher ground and the helicopter came back to us and it was suddenly as if there was hope again and all the fighting and the survival had paid off. and the rescuer came down on a zip line and they decided i should go first as the only woman and they put a horseshoe very loosely around me and the re

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet get $50 off at best buy.r reason to switch to t-mobile? get america's best unlimited 4g lte family plan. two lines of unlimited 4g lte data for just $100 a month. stuck in a contract? don't get trapped by the other guys. t-mobile will break you free. we'll buy out your contract up to $650 per line. so don't wait, get americas best unlimited 4g lte family plan with two lines for just $100. switch to t-mobile today. (cheers and applause) >> larry: okay! welcome back to my one-on-one sitdown with mayor de blasio. we also asked our audience to send in questions on twitter. this is @thedandymannyc from new york city. when will recreational marijuana be legal in new york? in other words, why should the rent be the only thing that's too damn high? (laughter) is that on the progressive agenda? >> not now. we did change law so we do fewer arrests for very small amounts of manner. >> larry: they don't have to go to jail if they have manner on them? >> for small amounts it's now a summons. arrests are down 65%. (applaus

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet get $50 off at best buy. great night out... beer meat and cheese. oh, and great friends to share them with. introducing the new bar snacks & apps menu. nothing makes you want to show up to the party sooner, stay out later or one up louder. get a lot more bang, for a lot less buck. new bar snacks start under $5 and they're only at applebee's. ( cheers and applause ). >> jon: my guest tonight is the host of conan on tbs. >> this week. right? okay? we roll this together right? hello. this is the inspector. what's wrong with it? cubana. no no, no. congratulations, i had a baby. no? wow! ( laughter ) >> jon: please welcome conan o'brien. ( cheers and applause ) >> where do i go, here? >> jon: how are you? >> thank you, thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome! >> yes! hola! hola! you're fluent! incredible. >> jon: but you are fluent. >> i'm not really fluent. i have a pretty good eighth grade spanish that i have kept up over the years, and that served me well. we brought two of our writers who are fluent

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet get $50 off at best buy. >> larry: that's all to thank our panelist issa rae christina greer jacque reid and marina franklin. >> now it is time for me to keep it 100. >> if you could combine oh my god three black women to make the perfect woman for you, who would you pick? you mean like three famous black women? oh man. you guys should have given me in earlier, i have to think about that. >> i'm going to choose four the women on our panel el ha, ha, ha. there you go. we have a special guest lined up for monday, new york city mayor bill de blasio is going to be here. i have a lot of questions for him but i want questions for you too. so whatever you want to ask the mayor, i want you to tweet the question you want me to ask him, okay work the hashtag keep it 100. till then good nightly, everyone. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet get $50 off at best buy. light are you up for whatever happens next? yeah! check it out. the perfect beer for stepping outside for some old school fun. my goodness... aaaahhhhhh! pac-maaaaaaaan! goooo! ♪ ♪ no! yeah, riley! ♪ ♪ we have a winner! what is going on?!?! i think about the shape. i think about color. i also think about sound. i take it into my brain and i think about... ..what would it look like to me? my tin man has a big toe the size of a house. the lion is small like a toy poodle. it has webbed, duck feet. and he is very scared of everything. my scarecrow has wooden teeth... his fingernails are really long. and his clothes have tubes on them. ♪"somewhere over the rainbow"♪ ♪"somewhere over the rainbow"♪ and that's dorothy. she looks like me. everyone has a favorite movie. now people with visual disabilities can find theirs. comcast is proud to introduce the first talking guide. from xfinity. >> larry: thank you, welcome back. we have been talk with our panel about guns on college campuses and we

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet, get $50 off at best buy. >>> can you not sayet up with jamieson group? >> why? >> because -- i'm just going to be honest with you. i think when you say your whole name it causes people to lose focus on putting the business stuff -- >> why would my name cause people to lose focus on business stuff? >> say it. >> mike pancake. >> ha ha ha! >> so -- yeah. that's all. >> jimmy: that is "unfinished business." [ cheers and applause ] boy, i have to tell you something. i thought this movie was really great. i loved that. dave franco's character in this movie is so odd and so funny. >> hilarious. >> jimmy: it's got a big laughs. >> franco's hilarious, and his character is very -- kind of a touched person, if you will. very funny. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> can i bring up something? are you a local, are you a foreigner game? there was a lady who was insatiable. >> jimmy: the singer. >> i wouldn't be surprised if she got a contract or something after tonight, she had a fantastic voice. here's what i don't understand. this lady -- it's not o

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet, get $50 off at best buy.risp bars. let's see if hikers are keeping it simple too. what's happening here? just a little pack inspection a loofah. a tape measure. claves. seriously? fresh pine. smells exactly like right where we're standing. stick to simple. nuts. seeds. sweetness. new nature valley nut crisp bars. boom. delicious. >> jimmy: still to come music from carly rae jepsen. our next guest as five-time nba all-star, member of the basketball hall of fame, starting march 17th he covers ncaa basketball for cbs and turner sports. please welcome reggie miller! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome,. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: that's very nice. >> 31 is a special number. >> jimmy: 31 is a special number, right. >> don't you start that, jimmy. it's a special number. >> jimmy: 31st birthday today. and here you are, you look snazzy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how are you? >> this is the best time of the year for my vocation. >> jimmy: do you feel like that? i i guess so. >> after the all-star break t

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet, get $50 off at best buy. >> jimmy: still to comeme nba all-star, member of the basketball hall of fame, starting march 17th he covers ncaa basketball for cbs and turner sports. please welcome reggie miller! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome,. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: that's very nice. >> 31 is a special number. >> jimmy: 31 is a special number, right. >> don't you start that, jimmy. it's a special number. >> jimmy: 31st birthday today. and here you are, you look snazzy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how are you? >> this is the best time of the year for my vocation. >> jimmy: do you feel like that? i i guess so. >> after the all-star break the pros start to focus in on the playoffs. it's getting toward the end of the season. spring training starts. i'm a big baseball fan. go, angels. and obviously march madness. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that the best? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that the best sporting event of all of them, the college basketball finals? >> i think so. we deal with series, best of seven. usually th

samsung galaxy tabs with our best screen of any tablet, get $50 off at best buy.sh. guaranteed. you picked a beautiful ring. thank you. we're never having kids. mmm-mmm. breathe. i love it here. we are never moving to the suburbs. we are never getting one of those. we are never having another kid. i'm pregnant. i am never letting go. for all the nevers in life, state farm is there. >>> can you not say your whole name today? when we meet up with jamieson group? >> why? >> because -- i'm just going to be honest with you. i think when you say your whole name it causes people to lose focus on putting the business stuff -- >> why would my name cause people to lose focus on business stuff? >> say it. >> mike pancake. >> ha ha ha! >> so -- yeah. that's all. >> jimmy: that is "unfinished business." [ cheers and applause ] boy, i have to tell you something. i thought this movie was really great. i loved that. dave franco's character in this movie is so odd and so funny. >> hilarious. >> jimmy: it's got a big laughs. >> franco's hilarious, and his character is very -- kind

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