i mean, al's lost about 100 pods, so must be talking about santa claus! santa used to squeeze down the chimn unl he discovered a quicker way. hey, guys, what's that rope outside by thwindow? what's that ro? oh, my gosh! oh, no! , no! santa! [ crying yookay oh, look at that! [ laughter ] he fell off the of! it's not unusual for kids to bafraid of santa. what's strange is fo them to have a reason. hi, santa. [ crying ] oh! he's oy. go ahead. [ laughs ] bergeron: at does baby want for christmas? all her pictures destroyed. matthew! there you go. there you go. think i'm getting goosed. uh-oh. a fire boy? a littlelay figure. oh... bergeron: oh, he was serious when he said, "and to all... [yning] a good night." [ inauble ] [ snoring ] bergeron: even santa has to look in t mirror occasionally and ask himself, "have i crossed the line from lly to just plain fat?" they couldn't find you any paddg. oh, ok out, look out! it wasn't til he went on his merry way that the johnsonknew they were dealing with an imposter. [ eers and applause ] you know that feeling you ge c

[laughter] he popularized the santa claus theory the democrats are suited for the role of spending santaclaus and republicans should be santa claus of tax reduction. they have failed to stick to that they love cutting taxes, and 1976, it causes the g.o.p. to be hypnotized by the unbalanced budget playing into the hands of the democrats that no successful politics is do not shoot santa claus. [laughter] one theory is the star of the beast theory. that was part of the reagan did penetration plan. reagan said cut the government allowance. i am not sure only for your reasons but because the relentless pressure to spend more very few want to. even tea party spending less in principal. when you can bother the difference -- are the difference there is no pressure. i will give shorter answers. [laughter] >> it is symbolic washington national's have the mascot called screech. [laughter] with the affordable health care act nobody can be denied health care if they cannot make the co-pay. many say if it is an emergency go to the emergency room. also labor and tight restrictions that is a huge proble

he popularized something he called the two santa claus theory. the party of income distribution are best suited for the role of spending santa claus. the republicans, traditionally of income growth should be the santa claus of tax reduction. it has been the failure of the gop to stick to the traditional role that has caused the nation's economic misery. not the they don't enjoy cutting taxes. they love it. this is 1976. something in the republican causing them to be hypnotized by the prospect of a balanced budget. they play into the hands of the democrat, successful politics, never shoot santa claus. one has been definitively disproven is star of the beast pherae. that was part of the reagan administration's plan. cut taxes. reagan, cutting the government's allowance and that would allow cuts and spending the doesn't happen. i am not sure for the reasons you say if you tell people they can get something for less than one more. it happens because there's this relentless pressure to spend more. very few members of congress wants to spend less. even

obama is santa claus. but we are reality. show that what santa promise comes satan consequences, ie, greece. that is what he has to do. >> dana: follow that? good. i thought it was a good point. bob, can i ask you something? a lot of people might think this is ryan going on to talk about himself. because he just announced three weeks ago. this is his first big national speech. his job is really to make the case for why mitt romney should be president. do you think, from your experience, is that what you think his role is? >> bob: it will be. none of the speeches are off the top of their head. they're scripted and passed by the romney campaign. like every presidential campaign does that, right? >> dana: sure. >> bob: but one thing about the weather. it was pouring here before we went on the air. greg said oh, that is tampa weather. dana said no, it's the storm. greg said no it's not. it was the storm coming up here but it will miss us. but there is a puddle outside bigger than you are. >> eric: dodge, dodge -- >> bob: no, no.

a tremendous to do list of things we have to tend to but instead we're just sort of waiting for santa claus to find a way so that we can run all the cars differently well if i read paul krugman of the new york times he will say as a keynesian economist that the list of projects you just mentioned is what is needed for the american economy to revive and that the federal government should borrow maybe five to ten trillion dollars to get all that done is that what you're saying well i think the catch is that none of that is going to get done at the scale that people like crewman imagine and in fact it is the whole issue of scale that has to be reimagined redone and reinvented and downscaled and made a local and changed you know guys like crewmen tom friedman simply want to find other ways to keep running all the stuff we're now running at the scale and in the manner that we're running it they want to keep wal-mart running they want to keep the interstate highway system running and it's understandable because it's our stuff and it's already run it and we're used to it and it makes us comfortabl

then obama comes in dressed at santa claus. santa h. clause. to deliver and i blew it. >> bob: don't lose track of the fact a lot of debt added on. a lot of presidents contributed to that. democrats and republicans alike. true? >> kimberly: obama says he didn't build it. we have didn't build it. >> bob: nobody built the poll. >> eric: one thing that president obama did build is 33% of the national debt. leave it there. coming up, president obama court jester iss, david letterman -- one of them, at least -- is hitting below the belt. this time, mr. and mrs. romney are his targets. we'll show you the tape when we come back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> bob: late show host dade letterman actually used to be a pretty good liberal. he's got an little soft now. he debuted a new segment about romneys. and mitt romney a his wife ann. take a look at the first one. very, very weak i thought. >> the segment is called ann and mitc mitt romney lies. lies. okay. roll it. ♪ ♪ >> do you go to grocery store? >> yes. [ buzzer ] >> i noticed he was doing the laundry last night

santa claus even braved the less than wintry weather to help the ladies kick off their new season. >>> and now for a look at your national and regional weather, here's nbc meteorologist bill karins. he has that forecast. bill, good morning to you. >> good morning to you. we saw the pictures of the drought in missouri and that's the big topic here on nbc. this is what we call the drought monitor. this is the map of the united states and what category of drought areas are in. the brighter the colors, the worst of the drought. notice much of the eastern seaboard doesn't really have much of a drought problem except central georgia. but you notice the bull years eye from colorado to indiana to north texas and oklahoma. is the worth of it. this is where the heart of the drought has been. here's what you need to know of the drought so far of 2012. we're watching the most severe drought since 1956. for the farmer's crops it's the worst condition the crops have been in since 1988. an estimated $10 billion is going to the crops. it's a big dollar sign. not for the prices you find in the super m

santa claus even braved the less than wintry weather to help the ladies kickoff their new season. let's get a check of the national weather with bill who has the forecast. bill, we were talking about the brought earlier in the show and you see the peculiars and how it affects people and it will trickle down quickly. >> money-wise. it's not going to be pretty. corn and other products gets shipped across the globe. here's how it looks. this is updated once a week. it will be updated east coast time from last week. you will see where the heart of the drought is. one spot with exceptional drought conditions in georgia, but the worst has been throughout middle of the country. the red colors are exceptional. the dark red is the extreme. it has been from indiana and it was bad through iowa and nebraska and lately spreading southwards. arkansas was one of the worst hit states. we haven't seen much in the way of rainfall through august through this area. we have gotten relief through ohio and indian a. as far as what you need to know, here are the faxes and figures. this is going on record

remember the santa claus i am% naturer? >> at disneyland. >> the impersonator. >> what can you do? he is who he is. >> all right. it's just interesting, tony. would you expect to see tom cruise at disneyland? >> no. >> disneyworld. >> they have ways of getting celebrities in and out. they don't wait in line. they take them in and out back ways, shut down the line for a while, while the celebrities do their thing. thank you. >>> coming up, spycam. holly is getting the scoop on top secret mission this is morning. she is taking us to the international spy museum next. first, speaking of camps, dave ross is live in ashburn this morning. dave. >> reporter: hey, tony. now you know how to get in and out of traffic because you're a celebrity. we're talking football in ashburn, virginia. day 6 of training camp getting ready to begin. we'll catch up with the offensive line. it's a m.a.s.h. unit and the defensive backs see how they are doing when fox morning news continues. for back to school. introducing share everything, only from v

santa claus even braved the less than wintry weather to help the ladies kick off their new season. now let's get a check of your national and regional weather. here is nbc meteorologist bill karins. he has your weather channel forecast. shaking your head already. >> 100 degrees everywhere in the country. it's a little hard to get into it. >> why do i feel it could be 100 degrees come christmas time as well. >> no. >> i know. feels like it, doesn't it? >> yeah. unfortunately, who knows. march was incredibly warm. maybe this will last into october and november. here's what we're dealing with. of course the drought of 2012. it really has stretched throughout much of the country. the numbers are pretty staggering. most of us have never seen a drought this bad. it's being compared to the drought in 1956 and to the dust bowl eras in the '30z. worst crop conditions since 1988. the reason it's not as bad since 1956 is because the agricultural techniques have improved. this will cost us $10 billion as taxpayers to reimburse the loss. the drought map, everywhere it's colored in is some type

you're running -- obama is santa claus but we're reality. ? >> stephanie: they both wear red. >> the way you get off a marginal show on the fox network which is at a crappy hour is you become a sociopath. you turn crazy and mean and then they'll give you a prime time slot. >> that's pretty much it. >> that's how he got it. >> stephanie: no one is watching at that hour. >> he used to do red eye. >> he still does red eye doesn't it? >> is it still on? >> stephanie: wait a minute. red. red. >> satan wears red. >> red eyes. >> satan! [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> compassion has the same letters as communism. >> stephanie: compassionate conservative. >> wait until you hear this one. >> tropical storm isaac which everybody a desperately hoping becomes a hurricane. they are. they're desperately hoping it becomes a hurricane. it's the democrat's wet dream that this thing hit new orleans. so you know me. my middle name is solutions. i have no ideas for the republicans. and how to deal with the tropical storm/hurricane hitting new orleans. first thing we do is s

one is -- >> there is a santa claus. >> and there is no easter bunny. >> what? >> those are the two -- >> i don't know where you go g to sunday school but let me just say -- >> i may have those backwards. >> on the third day the easter bunny rose again. >> meacham, why don't you write a time con on that one. >> i think they're badly underestimated to the debate that they th can swallow up the -- mitt romney doesn't have a comparablely specific budget. >> maybe he ought to come out with something. >> he should say how and why he differs from paul ryan. i don't think it should. he made some very specific choices. it's been endoesed by almost every major republicans in the country. mitt romney has to own it or say specifically how and why he differs. >> it's not foreign policy. this is what they're going to campaign on. >> but they're talking about tax cuts for the wealthy and changing medicare. and the democrats will have a field day with that forever. they're not talking about the economy and i don't think they'll ever get off of it it governor romney doesn't say

. >> at carvell, they cut cost, at christmas they turn him on his side and make him santa claus. i they have to do something with fudgy the whale. >> turn him upside-down and it's a beard. >> cannamon and carvell el al. >> can we get our ombudsman on that? >> i assume or it wouldn't be allowed there. >> i don't appreciate -- >> i would like to -- >> what bill fails to tell, i'm here to asker, you're not bringing facts. you're bringing questions. and you should have found the answers before you came on the show, called common courtesy. >> the knowledge and questioning -- >> the whole thing was a setup. >> from soft serve to hard core. the race just got race 'er, jenna jamison has endorsed mitt romney. on thursday, she was sipping champagne at the v.i.p. room on the san francisco strip club, where all presidential endorsements go down, when she revealed to a local contribute staffer, quote, i'm very looking forward to a republican being back in office. we areown rich you want a republican in office. must be nice. the 38-year-old was a former supporter of hillary clinton in 2008 so

santa claus. a white honky who slides down a black chimney and comes out white! >> that last remark was interesting. white honky who slides down a black chimney comes out white. >> there's a lot of rhetoric. there's a lot of playing on words and very emotional. >> did it work? >> that was not part of the snick they knew. >> what happened? >> something -- something went wrong. snick came to that point where, in my estimation, it was forced to die a natural death. we were conceived in this whole idea of the building of a truly interracial democracy. there were black students and white students working together, building together. suffering together. you cannot forget that in 1964, one year after i became chair, during the mississippi summer project that we recruited all these young people, blacks and whites, primarily students, but doctors and lawyers and priests and nuns came to work in mississippi during the voter registration drive. it had a black voter population of more than 436,000 but only about 16,000 were registered to vote. these black people and people n

suddenly relevant after thaddeus mccotter self-destructed was this guy who came down the chimney, santa clausmpersonator. he's a reindeer herder, failed senate candidate, he's on the ballot and no other republican is. he's also on the interweb machine at his very own website, oldfashionedsanta.org. the caption on this shirtless picture here is, "owner kerry ventivolio scratches reindeer ear on a warm spring day." once everybody figured out he was going to be the only republican on the ballot, it was interesting. the political right decided that santa would be their guy. he got endorsed by freedomworks, the koch brother-funded group. he got not only endorsed, but he also got over $300,000 from a pac with ties to ron paul. i mean establishment republicans are still trying to get around the santa reindeer guy. they are waging, in fact, a write-in campaign for nancy kasise. if it works, she would be only the fourth person in u.s. history to win a congressional primary as a write-in candidate. she has already said that even though she is a republican and the santa reindeer guy is also a republican

he's a crazy santa claus. >> rose: it's his movie. he's the funny guy. >> you're the funny guy. >> rose: not on the poster but he's the funniest guy in the movie. >> he's not bad. he's entertaining. >> rose: how is it to direct your father? >> it's fun to direct my father because i've seen him on stage. he's a stage actor. i've seen him on stage all my life and i know how capable he was of going and how far he can go so it was fun to give him stuff to do that could explore his craziness and wonderful kind of acting and everything. sometimes it's difficult to get your dad to what do what you want. >> rose: is there a hunger for his approval? >> we're not like that. we don't prove things in the family. we don't have this... >> they fought the whole time. they fought the whole time >> we weren't fighting we were just speaking french. it's just a conference in french we fought once or twice. >> it's an indy film. we only filmed for eight days. >> is it different directing someone who has such comedic skills and instincts and timing? you j

that book was called "the tour," and it got a lot of interest, but it was a santa claus isn't real type people don't want to hear it. the reason a cyclist or any athlete is faced with this decision is really lack of enforcement by the authorities. when you have -- when you dedicate your entire life to being at the very top, and there is a method out there that can increase your performance by 1%, 2%, 3%, you have got a moral decision. you either have to take it or decide you're going to be irrelevant. >> i want to ask you this, dave. as i have been reporting on this story, people are wondering who is the title going to go to? in their estimation, this is just a hypothetical, but they said how do you know who it goes to? because the number two, three, and four guys were doping, as well. so why should they get the wins? everybody is doing it. he just did it better than everybody else and now he's getting caught at this particular moment. >> what you're saying is very true. in all of the titles that lance won, there's only one cyclist that is mostly uninvolved in doping allegations. it rea

you're back here and you say, "santa claus has come to town." you get up, you walk over, you grab a rock, you say, "watch this. i'll tell you how high we are." you take the rock and you drop it, all right? you drop the rock but you're a little bit further upstream now, right? a little different place, okay? and you dropped the rock. [laughter] and you count off the seconds, you say, "according to my calculation, we're several kilometers high." what's this delightful person say to you? "you schmuck, i'm not gonna go home with you, okay?" you--"you don't have to do that." how could you do that? how could you impress that delightful person? there's a way to do it. okay, we haven't talked about torques yet. but if you knew about torques, you could do it. let me show you what to do. what to do is you don't drop the rock like that. you get your board, long plank. then you roll a great big piece of rock on it like that. that's counterbalance, all right? then what you do is you crawl out to the edge of the board, okay? [laughter] and you get out on the

used to be summer rally, santa claus rally, a rally, rally, rally. if they are based on fundamentals it's real. i try to distinguish between the two every night on "mad money." randy in my not home state of nebraska. randy. >> caller: big boo-yah -- midwest boo-yah to you, jim bo. >> i i love it. what's up? >> caller: two-part question for you. what's the difference between day trading and after hours trading and if a stock makes a big move up in after hours trading is that an indicator to sell? >> day trading is a guy trying to get in and out. it's called being flat at the end of the day meaning you have no positions. trading after hours means you are trading in a thin market or trying to outguess everybody else. unless you are a quick draw mcgraw hedge fund you should not be in after hours trading or you will get your head cut off. brian in new york. >> caller: hey, brian, university boo-yah to uh you. >> way to go. what's up? >> caller: my question is about buying stocks on a pull back. uh know you like to pull the trigger when it's down 5 to 8% a

mean anybody that thinks they are going to see anything dramatic i think is kind of -- believes in santa claus and lives in the world of wishful thinking. i mean, the reality is we all know the economy is just sort of limping along, and the fed is more or less between a rock and a hard place, and i think the markets basically reflect it. i mean perhaps they do something dramatic, but i would say chances of that happening are probably slim and none. cheryl: i don't know, teddy, i i just started rehearsing in my head hello everybody i'm ben bernanke, the economy is improving but slowly. i could write it. that's perfect. >> and we're not going to raise interest rates for the next 15 years. [laughter] cheryl: 15 years? you know what? it wouldn't shock me at this point. let me go back over to the nymex and elliot. one thing i didn't ask you about elliot is rbob actually. we're going into the labor day weekend with a lot happening, obviously, global markets the hurricane, but here we are with a well traveled holiday and gas prices that are shooting back up. well, in theory the gas already at those p

santa claus in a thong riding unicorn. she's back. checking in to "666 park avenue." uceductive place. place where people dreams to come true. but their worst nightmares coming true in the dark new posh upper east side apartment building to die for. not a very nice guy. the address, the mark of devil, had vanessa freaking out. to my priest and he would do a blessing on before we began. for me, it's about what are prepared to do to get want.hey taylor and dave theyel getting more than the niavenue managers. they don't want feel they're into anything dangerous deathly dangerous. unfortunate things happen in building. something wicked this way this fall on abc. klum has earned another emmys thanks to theject runway" and now about theg of herthe-scenes drama reality hit. hosted 10 seasons of runway," now heidi's the blood,ut all and trends. not just making some clothes.rrible really cool fashion. now heidi telling all in a behind-the-scenes look at the onenged fashion, stars out of fledgling designers. of myistian siriano, one out there. like, tranny klum, wear?ed somethi