tonight, sarah silverman, j.b. smoove, amy schumer, and ralphie may. it's the burn, with jeff ross.cheers and applause] - hell yeah! what's up, ball busters? awesome. i love you. i love you guys. no, please, please. welcome to the burn, where our mission is to rip the world a new [bleep]hole one crack at a time. let's begin with a shout-out-- big, big shout-out tonight. here's something i never thought i'd say 20 years ago-- happy birthday, magic johnson! [laughter] magic... love you, buddy. magic turned 52 years old today, and aids turned confused. look at him. not only is he alive, the guy's getting fatter. the only thing bigger with hiv is nigeria. hey, magic, in honor of your big day, i'm gonna go out and have unprotected sex. hopefully with this chick, mila kunis...one of my faves. the hottest chick in the world turns 29 years old today. mila was in black swan, and her boyfriend, ashton kutcher, used to be in an old goat. [laughter] [cheers and applause] hey, mila, is it true demi moore sent you a birthday card with $5 in it? all right, mila... happy burn day, darling. hopefull