i'm just doing a few experiments. >> stephen: a lonely lady scientists with five gallons of scallop gonads lead to only one horrifying reality. scallop man an invincible hard shelled monster with freakishly giant nads. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much. [cheers and applause] folks, it's no wonder obama doesn't have time to bother with the sequester because he's too busy grabbing our guns. well, that plan has backfired. >> gun sales have absolutely exploded. >> sales of high-capacity ammunition magazines are said to be soaring. >> gun sales have spiked around the country leaving empty shelves at some gun shops. >> stephen: yes, this gun rush is the kind of shopping frenzy you normally see on black friday, only less dangerous. [laughter] in texas, they've sold so many guns that demand for concealed weapon permits has skyrocketed. but don't worry, the state has a plan. >> the rush is on at the state capital to reduce the number of required training hours in texas from 10 to 4. leading the charge state represenative dan flynn. flynn says he wants to t

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