all: schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! schrute! - schrute!erall, i'd say my first radio interview went pretty much the way i expected. - well, oscar, i did not get the promotion. he just wanted to update my personal information. - well, i'm sorry, kevin. - why on earth would you think you were getting a promotion? - you know what, angela? i-- oh, my god. - honey, what are you doing here? - oh, i just had an intuition that someone i love needed a little of my attention today. oscar, looking very healthy. getting lots of vigorous exercise? - no. no. - oscar, what is going on? what was that? - wha-- - what was that? - i-i'm sorry. i didn't mean any offense. i was just trying to be friendly. - you know what? i'm sorry. i overreacted, because i'm stressed out. why am i stressed out? who's not stressed out? who's not stressed out? - come on, oscar. we're not just gonna sit here and ignore the obvious. senator lipton has a big election next week. we all need to give him our support. [scattered applause] - oh, thank you. thank you very much. oh, than

we're getting married at schrute farms, no matter what. i have looked at 12 venues.d i have seen angela naked zero times. i am not losing another deposit. hey. hey. so, um, i've been thinking about this whole chair/copier thing. mm-hmm. i really think you should reconsider. oh, pam, i really... hate that copier. yeah, i know. yeah. but i really think you should reconsider. beesly, are you threatening me? jim. jim, jim, jim. i'm not threatening you. i love you. [whispers] but you should know you're on very dangerous ground. all right. okay. whew. this is where you'll have your receiving line. of course we'll clear out all the livestock and hay and such. mmm. mm, what's that smell? you're gonna need to be more specific. manure. get rid of it. manure covers up the smell of the slaughter house. do you have to slaughter on our wedding day? you want to eat, don't you? honey, say something. uh, dwight, if we pay extra could you slaughter the entrees the day before? i'll consider it see? that's how you do it! makin' progress here. [squish] oh! darn! there's a hose out back.

it's dwight schrute. as in schrute farms. (man on phone) so i'd like to re-double my order. down for, um-- wait. shut up. i'm sorry? shh! do you hear that? hear what? breathing. is that you? well, i am breathing, yes. well, stop. hold your breath. i still hear it. who's there? kelly, is that you? hold on. (man) i need paper. hyah! aah! oh, my god, you scared me! hear anything interesting? what are you talking about? oh, i think you know. you always say that, and i almost never know. what are you up to, girl? huh? did phyllis put you up to this? stanley? are they paying you? are you accusing me of something? of course i am. i know you're the mastermind. but you're too stupid to do it by yourself. okay... oh! easy. okay. let's head back to the desk. you just can't come into my nook and call me stupid. and maybe it you were a little bit more nice and polite, then people wouldn't give you such bad customer reviews. okay, the reason that i got bad customer reviews is because i didn't! there is a massive conspiracy going on here, and i know you're involved. dwight, get out of my n

. - dwight schrute. - thank you, mr. schnoot. we will let you know. - you have to interview me. - i just did. the answer to that one question told me everything i need to know. - i demand more questions! - all right, guys. good day. a lot of candidates. let's discuss. - okay. if you're not gonna interview me, then i'll do it. - yes. - dwight, let me be frank. in an accident that no one can blame you for, an antique gun was discharged while you were acting manager. how are we ever to trust you again? [quietly] that's a great question. i am going to institute a strict no firearms policy for this office that extends to myself as well. wow. all of my concerns are disappearing. - thank you, dwight. - thank you. you'll be hearing from us shortly, mr. schrute, and i think you're going to like the call you're going to receive. oh, come on. i'm just happy that i got this meeting. [door closes] - well, that was quick. - [exhales] very, very interesting. and you know what? i'm impressed. - he's not a real candidate. - i don't know, jim, 'ca

dwight schrute! - dwight! - hey, man, it's halpert. did you go to the other guy yet? great. don't. yep, i'm all in. okay, talk to you soon. bye. yeah! - whoo-hoo! [screams] [all gasp, cry out] - call somebody. - hang on! - hang on! hold on, dwight! - [screams] - in the parking lot today, there was a circus. the copier did tricks on the high wire. a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. there was a dwight impersonator and a jim impersonator. a strongman crushed a turtle. i laughed and i cried. not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company. introducing cardioviva: the first probiotic to help maintain healthy cholesterol levels without a prescription. cardioviva. ♪ smile on your brother ♪ everybody get together ♪ try to love one another ♪ come on, people, now [ female announcer ] breyers. the taste you've loved for over 140 years. ♪ right now ♪ ♪ ♪ i ♪ know i can't deny... ♪ that i got a new feeling ♪ deep inside... ♪ [ female announcer ] with five perfectly sweetened whole grains... you can't help but see the good. whole grains... - once again, i understand tha

there are 40 rules all schrute boys must learn before the age of five. ♪ learn your rules ♪ you better) what is it? you've got to tell andy about us. that is a terrible idea. one of your worst. get it over with. then we don't have to hide anymore. you're expanding on your worst idea. do you love me or not? i've already admitted that i do. why do you keep making me repeat it? because you're engaged to andy. [door opens] well? not yet. when? when what? [coughs] when what? you know this can't go on. what can't go on? we have to put an end to this. seems like-- (michael) come on. you guys should... be hearing what i'm saying. this is really not how this is supposed to happen. angela said she was gonna tell him. she's just not ready. when will she be ready? i don't know. is she crazy in bed? yes. stop. how so, specifically? what? okay, listen. this shouldn't happen at work. eager and flexible. and... really? this shouldn't be coming from his boss. and we should also consider the fact that that man has an anger issue. too late. well, it's not too late 'cause you haven't done anything. i am a

in the schrute family, we believe in a five-fingered intervention.tell us what you watched on television last night? i am fine. was john belushi fine? was bob hope fine? hey... come here. if anything ever happened to you, i would be very angry at myself for not doing all that i could do. (meredith) i know i drink. i like to party. i want you to say "i'm an alcoholic." [loudly] i'm not an alcoholic! you can say it as loudly as you want, but we're not going to believe you. i was waiting until later to hand out this year's gifts from corporate. i don't think they're appropriate anymore. please stop making me do these things. oh, sorry, it's your job. but it's the season of mercy. you never showed me mercy when you were in charge. why aren't you wearing the hair net? i lost it. fine. okay. nice. i don't mind telling you that i have an addiction. i do...to porn. [all groan] all right. no, no, no. no. that is-- you lit your hair on fire today. what about tomorrow? what is going to happen when you come in to work and you're dead? i stab her in the brain wit