but first, what could be more unnecessary than part one of bill schulz eases -- bill schulz's piece onfashion week. how about a part two? >>> how much swag can you fit in your bag? swag, a word for stuff we all get. while these underpaid minute yuans -- minions look at fruit and cheese arrangements, celebs make better a do with gift bags with everything from iphones to actual human beings. i sent bill to the bribe briggade that was daily front row's fashion week session to see how many free massages and no charge makeovers you can get out of him. you know, in lieu of an actual salary. >> fashion week. i like to call it free things they give to fake journalists week. join me at the stone rose lounge as i get fabulous and as much swag as humanly possible. >> in beauty school do they start you off slow? do you start off with a mannequin with hair and then move to a corpse and then real people? how does that work? >> if you are lucky that's how it works. >> not lucky for the corpse. not split ends have split ends, what can i do? >> get a haircut. >> if we just do that -- you are welcome. >

and another installment of the infamous schulz on the streets. this time brought to you by angry naked people on wall street. and finally, celebrity striping for a cause. apparently it doesn't do it for peta anymore as the animal rights groups embarks on a pornography campaign. who do you think will be the first celebrity to sign up? back to you, andy. >> thank you, remy. let's welcome our guest. i am here with the former prosecutor and the co-host of "the five" weekdays at 5:00 p.m. eastern on fox newschannel. in her spare time kimberly loves knitting and hobo mocking. >> that sounds friendly. >> comedian and everybody's worst nightmare, sharad small. >> leave no child behind. >> and then the smelly bill schulz and next to me new york contributor dana vachon. interesting thing about dana, he has been killed twice. and his writing is not deft because it always goes left. how are you, pinch? >> today in the arts, they play money ball. i am old enough to recall when the athletics played in philadelphia and were owned by connie mac. they whistled i

bill schulz. he eats paste. and her parents don't know, but she voted for obama in 2008. >> that happens. >> and he sleeps in a crib because he is a big old lib. how are you, pinch? >> governor rick perry's campaign is likely to face questions on his year old book's passionate specific take 0* rights. here is a passage from chapter two. "me think things. me no like big government. don't you mess with the texas." time for nap. it is a great book. >> you are an idiot. we are starting shoat and hopefully you will be dead by the end. we r we no longer at risk from terrorists? that was a horrible rhyme. and is the white house putting them on the ropes? americans feel safer than they have in the past decade or nearly so. with a new gal lop poll, 38% think an attack is likely to happen over the next few weeks. and adding to our comfort, the white house's counter terrorism chief says al-qaeda is on a steady slide. killing the terror network's second in command last week was a, quote, huge blow to the group adding, quote

i want to welcome debbie wasserman schulz. let me also think president obama once again for picking charlotte to host this convention. and want to thank my host committee cochairs. within the next has 65 days, there of the democratic national convention here in charlotte. did you hear that? i have been asked whether i was surprised that charlotte was selected. the answer is no. i was not surprised. yes, we are a southern city filled with the southern charm one would expect. minoan mistake about it. -- make no mistake about it. we refuse to take no for an answer when we set our eyes on a goal. we like to believe you never had a choice. un three process. one year from now, our fellow americans and their neighbors around the world learn a lot about our city, about our region. one thing they will learn is that nothing we have done in the way of achievements have occurred by accident. like our nation, charlotte in north carolina has been built by hard-working men and women, many times against the odds to dare to reach for a better

schulz for her award. good >> you are not out of line. congratulations, jennifer. any other comments? roll call please. [calling revvotes] >> six ayes. >> thank you of 3 ghraib always good to see you. >> our condolences. i understand your grandmother passed a wave theory give our condolences. >> the discussion of other -- i understand your grandmother passed away. my condolences. >> item o is the consent calendar. it was moved and seconded under item f. we vote on the consent calendar superior -- calendar. [calling votes] >> six ayes. >> item p are the items for discussion. commissioner wynns: is this the one you wanted germany and not good, because i made a mistake. i have always richard already given discussion inferior an -- i have already given discussion. >> it is a schizophrenic resolution and curio region resolution. >> it looks like a typo. the dates are august 15, so i think it should be a retroactive resolution and curio -- resolution. >> so it is retroactive if it starts august 15? >> it is not retro. it should be no. >> i will take it off my list. item

how about bill schulz. don't you leave after that tease. >>> the most sensational seven days in all of new york, land, always excites mr. fashion. ie, that's what i call me. as a result i had "red eye"'s cor vee spawn dent hit the zena show. let's watch him fail yet again. >> all right, we are at lincoln center fashion week. i have been told we can't go back stage. we are back, back stage. not a lot of people can see this. over here we have a tube and for 10 hours straight every day this bad boy pom -- pumps in botox, collagen and methamphetamine. very dangerous if not mixed right. if done well the models look amazing and they are constantly fed up. not a lot of people get to see this. you are welcome. >> what are you wear ?g who are you wear ?g a sleeping shirt? oh, i was told that's their new line of sleeping shirts. if you are not careful, you will be wearing that paw strong me on rye. wear a napkin. ideally silk. you look amazing. this week is amazing. we are all amazing. >> hello ladies. >> what's your

and finally bill schulz visits the first moonshine distill rather since the days of prohibition. did they make it back? spoiler you alert. >> big day today. >> you mean because it is -- >> back on this day in the 1940s, the paintings were found in france. the paintings were 15,000 to 17,000 years old and considered the finest art. what a day in history indeed. >> but i was just going to tell you -- >> reporter: also on september 12th, 1953, nakita was elected the first communist party. and this was the exact same day that john kennedy was married. what an uh -- amazing day, greg. 1k3* in 1977, the leader of the black consciousness movement died. and in happier news, he won back his belt from randy turpine. >> today is my birthday. >> cool. >> on september 12th, 2004 -- >> shut up. you ruin everything. it is like this every year. let's welcome our guests. she is so cute that puppies use her face as a screen saver and they don't even own computers. it is grotesque how they manage. i am here with margaret hoover, the author of the great book, american individualism. and if brilliant

bill schulz, i hate you. joe devito, well done. later.

my name is bill schulz. are you single? >> don't film me. >> this is a taping thing. we are using lots of gestures. >> it is like a hippie bob saggit. >> now they are saying it is police brutality like in this next one that they say shows a cop macing a young woman. >> i pity the cop as well trying to do his job. one of the groups behind the protest found the officer in the video and started circulating his and his family's personal information. in one popular anonymous twitter account asked, question, what kind of pizza do you think the cop would like? a reference to one of their tactics which is sending a crap load of pizzas to the perceived enemy. how did i spend my weekend? i believe we have tape. that was my neighbor there. he helps me with the bike and stuff. we had a great time. michael, obviously everybody has a right to protest. i say that as a lie, but i say it anyway. isn't it all about capturing cops on video? when you watch it, there is always somebody there yelling stuff. it always seems so planned. >> it is like 400 people there with video cameras. why

george schulz, i love him, but he's wrong. the issue is not year by year. the issue is 10 years. you could do almost what you wanted in three or four years if you put in place a plan that in the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth and ninth year out reformed medicare and medicaid and all the entitlement programs and reformed the tax code. if you could do that, i guarantee you that we'd be on the right path. now, my mind slipped me there, so i can't closes that thought because i'm short of memory and i forgot. >> it was very powerful. and i also to want say that, andy, i got chills when you said that, like, it is this incredibly important moment. and i hope that people listening and people who know that, and there's so many who know that and understand that, see that we have to help the supercommittee feel that we have their back, because there are so many people who are going to be pushing don't do this, don't do this. they need to hear from all the different interests about how people are actually willing to put the collective interest ahead of the special interest and some of the

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz.nd sitting next to me, mike baker, the former cia operative and the president of diligence, when you are in the market, think diligence. we don't know what it is. and he is still here though death is near. our "new york times" correspondent, good to see you pinch. >> be sure to not soay so much. i used to cover the locker room during the muddy games. but it wouldn't be denied with the recent acquisition of lawrence wind mill mcbane from the dating triangles proving prophetic as the last execution and the wind and much hoop la from the hometown supporters. greg? >> just reminiscing. >> i know. >>> are annoying young mammals going after your camels so they are wiped clean of all nicotine? >> yes and yes. if the university of kentucky could speak words, more than 500 campuses from across the country have enacted 100% smoke-free policies. but the wild cats have taken it one step further. indeed they recruited students to be police who shall wander the campus asking classmates, employees an

from -- he is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. don't know what i was saying there. and he is considered america's funny man. so sitting next to me, comedian tomb shaw lieu. -- tom shalou. and our "new york times" correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> have trouble sleeping in coach? the times true gal traler does, and he talked to some sleep experts about flying. read greg gutfeld's "bible of unspeakable truth" and reading tim young's article and listening to tom shalou's weekly show on finding story .biz. slam, da, da, da, let the boys be boys. count it. point pinch. >> yes. so it seems that i speak now of "inspire" that has slammed iran's leader for being a 9/11 truther. in the latest issue, the quote sthe iranian government has professed on its tongue of its president ahmadinejad that does not believe al-qaeda was behind 9/11, but rather the u.s. government. we may ask, why would iran subscribe to such ridiculous beliefs that stands in the face of all logic and evidence. and they question mahmoud saying, quote, if iran was genuine in its animosity. it would be

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and she is so bright that if you stair districtly at her you will go blind. next to me is a first time guest, dana pa ry no. she is a former white house press secretary and co-host of "the five" never heard of it. and he is a fraud. good to see you pinch. >> >> ♪ one pill makes you larger ♪ one pill makes you small ♪ and ones mother gives you ♪ don't do anything at all >> i'm afraid pinch actually drank david carr's quote, coffee this morning. >> maybe we should start the show, greg. >> ♪ i am a golden god ?oad -- >> that's a lot of production work for those eyes. >> i don't know what you are talking about. >>> he is out in president fro of the presidential hunt. i speak of texas governor rick perry who after a few weeks is lapping the competition like a fast swimmer in a pool that allows you to do laps in a pool past other swimmers, a lap pool perhaps. the new poll has the gov getting 27% of republicans with the former front-runner mitt romney. that's a difference ever a lot. and per

applause] and we absolutely want to help you improve the cities of california, and we want to help kurds schulz, the regional director of the u.s. department of health and human services, and improve the diet of california. and i would like to hand it over to him. >> thank you. i have followed the mayor and now tim again. i like that. thank you for the microphone. i want to say a couple of things this morning and try and be brief, which can be difficult. first of all, on behalf of the obama -- obama administration, i am presidential appointee and my boss is secretary kathleen sebelius. she knows that i was going to be here this morning. on behalf of the secretary of the u.s. department of health and human services, i want to congratulate the bayview community. i want to congratulate fresh & easy and san francisco, so give yourself a round of applause. [applause] you know, we hear too often the term these days food desserts. 10% of our communities and united states are considered food deserts. that means amenities like bayview, who now have ensured, working with fresh & easy, that you are a youd

he stinks of self-published pamphlets, bill schulz. and his voice is smoother than a kashmir thong, john gibson, host of the syndicated radio program "the john gibson show" weekdays at noon eastern. >>> he is ain shebt and crude and here in the nude, good to see you pinch. >> today in the science section, sweet poison is being used to lure and level africa's malaria population. that was the pet name we had for john gibson's book. smee tasted good -- she tasted good going down and found her way when there. give that tramp my worst. >> wow. >> greg? >> all right. he is sticking to his guns and his buns and refusing to run. no more getting misty for a man named christie. that is chris chris stey who many were praying would jump into the presidential race. but he always insisted there was no way to run. and despite rumors and reports he was reconsidering his decision, it seems he was being honest all along. jerk. on tuesday morning one of the better ledgers voted christie's brother, todd, it is always todd and said he was sure the portly p

and he is suing "the biggest loser" for copyright infringement, bill schulz. and he is as big as he is brilliant and as charm is as i am self-harming. next to me, the great penn jaw let. he is the taller and louder half of penn and teller. his latest book is tearing up the charts. >> it is? >> i guess it is, "new york times." >>> well, he is a waste of ink who somehow can't blink. it is our "new york times" correspondent, good to see you pinch. >> i am miffed and purterbed right now. last night following another sub are par show, he ran into the green room and was panicking and asking for reading material for a, quote, extended amount of sitting time. and without missing a bit our guest, judith miller you handed in yours truly. there was an hour long journey into the deepest bowels of hell. emphasis on bowels, by gum. >> well speaking of, it is good the viewers don't have smell-o-vision. >> there is a funk. >> there is a funk. >> what is going on is apparently the restaurant next door had a bit of an accident. so this entire set smells like raw sewage. >> i am

it is bill schulz. and he is considered one of the funniest humors alive today. sitting next to me, comedian tom shlou, us expressive. and he is known for griping and wiping. it is our "new york times" correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> hello, judith. way to warn me, greg. today in "vanity fair" they discuss the plan to revamp the famed monkey bar on park avenue. i used to enjoy it with the ladies' home journal. it quickly ended that while the heavily intoxicated truman capotti came over and used her as a bib while enjoyg a lukewarm lobster bisque. if only it could have ended better. hope are you well, jewish. >> nice story. >> -- >> hope you are well, jewish. >> nice story. >>> there was a special election to replace the disgraced sausage vendor, anthony wiener. bob turner now is the first republican in almost three00 years to represent the heavily jewish and democratic 9th congressional district. >> and the news was no better for those held in nevada. a republican trounced his democratic opponent by 22 points. in a district that liens republican, but the

it is bill schulz. >> and he is so sharp that children use his face 20* carve pumpkins.e is chief of the daily caller. and his snobish diction mixes fact with fiction. it is our "new york times" correspondent. >> today the law professor writes of a supreme court case that could erode privacy in public spaces. i for one hope it does get eroded and boxcar pete will get what is coming to him as far as what he did to meet in a public space. or on me at any rate. i am the "new york times," by gum and not a hobo diaper. that will be my epitaf. >> what an elegant way to put it. >> i always put it in an elegant way. >> that's for sure. >> it is for sure. >> it was like survivor, but with smart people. i speak of yet another republican presidential debate, this time on cnn hosted by the dude with the beard. who is that guy? >> anyway, it was perry the human pinata night at the tea party debate on monday as the texas governor and front-runner found himself on the receiving end of barbs. for many of the other gop presidential wanna bes whether it was john huntsman making a joke nob

it is our repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is tougher than beef jerk key and a peanut butter sandwich on week old bread. the president of diligence, the makers of fine italian leather chaps and novelty raccoon hats, for all of your leather chaps and home pregnancy tests and novelty raccoon hats. think diligence, we are not just a front for toppling small countries. >> that's diligence. >> and he reports from the left which is why he lacks hef. good to see you pinch. >> today the conservative columnist says of owe bo mu's job plan, quote, republicans would be wise to work with him to make his ideas more effective. and now a dramatic recreation about what the house speaker john boehner just heard me say. ♪ all the news that's fit to print ♪ >> i had a little fun there. >> emphasis on little. are they planning an attack to get us back? it is another alert on our day of hurt. u.s. officials warning of a potential al-qaeda strike on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 in the form of a car bomb in new york city or dc. national secur

and colombian groups and despite the pattern, the great quote to the secretary of state george sold schulzyou cannot find him you can only lend him. but prior to the invasion noriega was constantly tracked by the members of the delta force aided by the national security council but the surveillance and intelligence and then with telephone to vacations directed a network of informants tracing the dictators movements. the last known location on december 19 when the u.s. invaded, shortly thereafter leading toward panama city part of the convoy turned off all the other half headed toward the panamanian pentagon. although the joint special operations command was confident noriega had not returned to the headquarters they could not say where he was and each share u.s. troops raided noriega -- noriega and a department sell this was a great puzzle we have every intelligence asset and why could we not find those under circumstances? and then headed to the panamanian defense forces club he dismissed the possibility insisting of true globalization was designed to scare them and proceeded to get drunk

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. also wearing purple. and she is so hot that fire island is now called gilligan's island. and his stories are a croc as he goes into hok. good to see you, pinch. >> be sure to read the article on alcohol to raise tax money. indeed i helped kim research this thing with tom collins,. ♪ all the print that's fit to news ♪ >> that is disgusting. you had a lot of pickled eggs at the bar. >> pickled eggs. i'm going to puke. >> over here now. away from the paper. >>> when it comes to blacks are democrats where it is at? herman cane thinks so. and the pizza pusher has more. they have been brainwashed. >> african-americans have been brainwashed into not being open minded, not even considering a conservative point of view. i have received some of that same vitriol because i am running for the republican nomination as a conservative. so it is just brainwashing and people not being open minded, pure and simple. >> anderson cooper looked really old. so herman thinks blacks may not like him for being republican. and acco

and want to see bill schulz get his body painted? of course you don't, but are you going to. >> thank you, andy jie. happy national bed check month,ed c greg. >> for the who month, what i should i be do ?g. >> checking your mattress fortr wear and tear.wear and t >> that could prove difficult. my house boys wear and tearouse went back to brazil a month ago. >> they were the twinere twin gymnasts? >> that's what they said, but wear was too flabby for theby fe floor exercises.no live and learn. now i buy from the source.ce >> john gibson? >> can't beat his prices. i >> i don't know how he doesect i it. >> his secret i >> of course. >> it is the source of all things great, andy. >> i believe you, but i don't think that stuff you keep wanting me to drink is well water. >> i call it well water because if you drink it you feel well. >> i don't think it is water. a >> that's a side affect.ll >> after what you told me tot get rid of my sore throat i don't trust you. >> why should you. let's get the ball rolling. let's welcome our guest.> i h

and i don't want you, ed schulz, to pay a larger percentage of your income. it's not fair. >> mike. and the millionaires and billionaires have won. it's over. all of this is an attempt to have americans and the middle class and the poor from digging themselves out of the rubble left by the republicans. this isn't tax warfare. it's a massacre. president obama understands that this idea of republican-shared sacrifice is just a continuation of the story. the republican idea of shared sacrifice is this, ed. it's where less .1 of 1% control 46 trillion of american's wealth. it's where the bottom 50% of americans control a pitiful 2.5% of american wealth. that's heidi's america. it's an america right now where we have an american worker making every $1 for every $500. >> that's heidi's america. >> two questions and nobody can answer on your show -- >> the class massacre. >> no, no, no. two questions that mike papantonio can't answer. number one, how much money is fair? fair share? give me a number and a percentage? nobody can answer that and where does that money go to make everything all