sean penn is a big mean jerk and i hate you! i hate you! i hate you, sean penn!, this is embarrassing. -[sobbing] -here. here's a handkerchief. it's ok. -[sobbing] -all right. all right. -[sobbing] thank you. thank you. that smells great. what is that? mesquite? you're so nice. sean penn, everybody! robert pinsky! we'll be right back. [applause] [music playing] you know, things with staying power. classic cars, classic bikes, classic games. here's another classic: the craftsman 42-piece bit socket set. it's quality that lasts... ...and it's just $29.99... ...a savings of 70%! that's like finding a classic car in your grandma's barn. sure beats using one of these. the craftsman 42-piece bit socket set is packed with what you need to handle the fasteners you're likely to face. you get 16 internal and external torx bit sockets, 6 slotted and phillips bit sockets, and 17 hex bit sockets. and because it's a craftsman hand tool, it has a lifetime warranty. at the regular price of $99.99 this is a great set, but now at just $29.99, it's also a great deal! so hurry into

plus, i sit down with oscar-winning actor sean penn. now if only he would act like an american. n the first ever battle of the metaphors. english departments, start your vcrs. a dozen means 12. learn to count, bakers. this is "the colbert report." [theme music] [eagle screeches] [applause] -ladies and gentlemen, thank you. [applause and cheers] -that reception was so thunderous, i might have to have myself checked for ruptures. welcome to the show. nation, i am the cat that ate the canary, and i'm sitting in the catbird seat, and i am the cat's meow. because tonight is my long awaited metaphor-off with sean penn. he will be my casualty of war! carlito is gonna do things stephen's way. and when it's over, all the king's horses and all the king's men will not put sean penn back together again. [applause] -but first-- wait for it-- but first, when i'm driving home late at night folks, i like to read livescience.com on my laptop computer. 'cause i know i won't fall asleep at the wheel if i am enraged. and last night i found this article. evidently, scientists have found that chimps a

want to offend the sensibilities of somebody whose sensibilities probably need to be offended. >> sean pennin los angeles by phone. mr. penn, what do you make of the president's position? what's your position? >> i would agree with the president. i think that, you know, i'm not speaking as an advocate for the motion picture industry or as a critic. but we have to realize this is a genuine emergency, this is the popularization of cyber war and it requires an alternate threshold on the thinking and the language that we use. when representatives of sony deny that they pulled the film and put it on distributors, that it's not really recognizing the same responsibility a parent has to drive the show when something threatens their child. in this case, it doesn't matter whether it's an individual, a government, or a company, the response of sony should have been to say, we'll make our apologies later and we'll put it online open and free for the world to see. so i would say it's a cop-out for the studio to say it's the distributors. they should say, we won't put any films out until all of them are

>>> then sean penn and charlize theron secretly engaged?ng -- >> or a white wedding dress. >>> plus, chris rock moveing on with rosario dawson? we uncover the truth. >>> ryan seacrest and jenny mccarthy sneak peeking their wild new rocking eve. but will he be making out with taylor swift? >> you're single. she's single. >>> new pics of oprah and gayle's maui vacation and kathy great britain griffin on "fashion police." >>> plus, the big revelation britney spears just gave up. >>> this is "extra" at universal studios hollywood, the entertainment capital of

on friday you the sean penn issuing statements. it is too late. the film was yanked. >> is it too late for clooney too? >> he says he circulated a pizza and no one signed it. >> why doesn't he give his speech? >> he was on his honeymoon in naples. >> he is clooney. he shouldn't have to give a speech. if anything came by your desk from george clooney wouldn't you just sign it? expwhrie i have a whole pile of clooney correspondence. >> i did that and i ended up in a movie i wanted no part of. >> there is something worse than this whole caving into the the north korean hackers. the fact that al sharpton is going to insert himself and his panel guy into fixing hollywood in which he come peared to the 1950s. compared to the 1950s. every hollywood celeb bough -- celebrity is black. >> that was from my producers. >> no it isn't. >> too good to check again. >> you have denzel washington and will smith and oprah winfrey and president obama, jay morgan winfrey. >> sam jackson. lawrence fish burn. >> tyler perry. >> tyler perry. kevin hart. chris rock. i cou

i think sean penn and kevin bacon. it's a wonderful, wonderful movie. >> host: mr. yardley you maybed a couple of british authors. there is a difference between british writers and american writers? >> guest: well, it's their language and they did coin it, i and i think in all candor, they write it better than we do. on the other hand our english has more energy then there's. we're more willing to coin phrases, to coin words, an awful lot of the slapping that has crept into the british english is american slang, and the british writers who are not snobby about americans and max hastings comes to mind, and william boyd comes to mind, and even mccuean comes to mind, they understand we have made contributions to the lange as well as they have. british writing tens to be a little more formal. sometimes a little bit stuffy. i think the present generation of british -- i say my generation -- people in their 70s ore older -- people like penelope lively -- the closest we come to those are people like ain't taylor and gayle goodwin, very good writers. but american novelists

>>> then sean penn and charlize theron secretly engaged?hy she doesn't want a ring -- >> or a white wedding dress. >>> plus, chris rock moving on with rosario dawson? we uncover the truth. >>> ryan seacrest and jenny mccarthy sneak peeking their wild new year's rocking eve.

para todos los amantes del cine les tengo un adelanto de la prÓxima pelÍcula de sean penn.

sean penn is calling them out. there's all kinds of controversy. did sony cave?y says they didn't. it's a very ill-judged decision to make a movie with kim jong-un in it in the first place, named and identified as a sitting head of a foreign state. no other studio would have done it. sony did it. now they're paying a horrible price. and the whole country is being pulled into this horrible display of suppression of freedom of expression and an international incident. >> if somebody would have said at the beginning of the year, the president would have a news conference at the end of the year and most of it would be dominated by sony pictures and north korea, we would have said, what? kim, thanks very much for joining us. kim masters, christian whitton and tom. thanks very much. in this accident... because there was no accident. volvo's most advanced accident avoidance systems ever. the future of safety, from the company that has always brought you the future of safety. give the gift of volvo this season and we'll give you your first month's payment on us. will tha

sean penn came forward put out a statement saying this is putting short-term interests ahead of long-termpeak out and saying it points to a dark future in hollywood. jack black, rob lowe, the list goes on of celebrities critic e criticizing this. and all are echoing kind of the same sentiment. >> and george clooney tried to circulate a petition but didn't get a single signature. what was he proposing here. >> >> he did circulate a petition and talked about this in this interview you mentioned he did with deadline. basically he was saying don't give to the ransom. so he circulated this to industry leaders. and he said nobody wanted to be the first person to put their name on this petition basically out of fear. it is not just hollywood. any industry would be scared. but it just shows you how everyone is so scared in this industry. they did in this a calculated way. they first embarrassed people putting out the emails basically showing here is what we can do to you. and now notebobody wants to go there and support sony because nobody wants to be in the same position. and everyone knows it c