for seth meyers. >> seth: thank you. >> "with seth meyers." >> seth: it's "late night" colon -- [ laughter ] fans are waiting, this is very exciting. eduardo flamingo. >> seth: oh, very deep cuts. >> very deep. >> seth: deep villain, yeah. >> the fans are going crazy. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> there we go. >> seth: sort of one of the more flamboyant villains. >> you can say flamboyant. that would be a way to describe it. >> seth: i guess when your last name's flamingo. also, you're a villain, so you can change it. >> exactly. >> seth: if you're cool with that. >> yeah, we do have a lot of villains. we have, we have mr. freeze. we have firefly, we've got a whole sort of cacophony of villainy. >> seth: that's great. you're playing a police officer, this time a detective. you played a police officer for years on the wonderful show "southland." a los angeles police officer. now, when you do roles like this, do you get to actually do some training? do you try to learn about what it means to be a police officer? >> yeah, not just the boring, like paperwork part of it, but the fun

wait, seth, seth, i have another one that i wrote just for you. i don't like it as much. but it's still really good. >> seth: okay, great. >> okay. get up on your feet and put your hands in the air for the all new host who is beyond compare has a pair of glasses and jet black hair was on comedy central but now he's not there a show is so good it's not even fair it's late night with seth meyers [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: stephen colbert? >> yeah, he didn't love it. >> seth: justin. >> two, three, four. no need to be skittish this talk show host is totally british >> seth: nope. [ laughter ] >> was it the british? >> seth: james corden or john oliver. >> oliver passed first, then corden passed, then i took it back to oliver and he passed again. >> seth: okay, got it. >> here's one. >> seth: justin. a good god ain't it funky i'm gonna have a good time gonna have a party i'm gonna take your clothes off because it's mother [ bleep ] time for late night with seth meyers >> seth: i mean, that's great but you can't say mother [ bleep ].

>> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. very exciting. >> so we've been feeding your staff behind the stage. sluggish tonight, well, it's because they've been eating oysters and drinking sazerac. >> seth: and if they're acting a little aphrodisiaced out -- [ laughter ] now, where are these oysters from? where do you get your oysters? >> these are gulf oysters. >> seth: okay. >> these come from the louisiana gulf coast. >> seth: okay. >> kenan: nice. >> nothing but the best for you, seth. >> seth: all right, this is very exciting. >> kenan: don't forget to oil those. >> seth: how long do you leave an oyster in to properly fry it? >> so, we're gonna let them fry a couple of minutes, and then in the mean time while those are frying, i thought kenan here would whip up a little sauce for us. >> kenan: i'll whip that sauce. i'll whip that sauce! [ laughter ] >> whip that sauce! all right, so you're gonna start with a little ranch dressing, fancy ranch dressing, but ranch dressing nonetheless. [ laughter ] a little tabasco sauce,

>> seth: yeah, that's yours. >> cheers. >> seth: cheers, everybody. >> kenan: cheers, my bro. >> seth if there ever was such a food, this is it. >> seth: this is fantastic late night tv. and you're coming back to new york. tell us when you're coming back to new york. >> yeah. we have the new york wine and food fest coming up in just a couple of weeks. and so we're really excited about that. my boy, aaron sanchez is going to be here with me. you've got all sorts of your great friends here. >> seth: and this is very exciting for everyone in the audience, you'll be receiving a voucher to the grand tasting of this festival. [ cheers and applause ] there you go, right there. john besh, everybody! "besh big easy" hits bookstores today. we'll be right back. jazz us out! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are so very good. these are really beyond belief. >> you've got a real talent here. >> seth: thank you so much. thank you for saying that. i know you don't mean it, but thank you. my thanks to kenan thompson, maura tierney, chef john besh and of course, the 8g band. [ cheers and appl

>> can you hear me seth? >> seth: yes? [ laughter ] >> seth! >> seth: are you speaking to me telepathically? >> yes. >> seth: but that's impossible. how can you do this? >> an ancient tribe of norse witches performed their paganistic rituals where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla, where odin himself taught me how to free myself of the shackles of speech. and gave me the power of mind-to-mind communication. >> seth: that's amazing. >> seth! i have a question for you. and it is very, very important. >> seth: uh -- what is it? >> seth! club? [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, what? >> my wife likes sam's club but i feel like i can get in and out of costco faster. >> seth: yeah, i don't know. >> i just feel like i don't spend money on crap that i don't need when i go to costco. i get what's on my list, and i leave. when i go to sam's club i always buy like ten blu-rays and a huge tin of carmel popcorn. [ laughter ] also, i love the hotdogs at costco. i know, but it's a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] friday night, everybody. friday night. let's get to the news. after donald trump attacked him on several issues yesterday, second place gop candidate, dr. ben carson, told reporters he didn't want to get into a gladiator fight with trump. especially since trump comes with his own helmet. [ laughter ] [ trump impression ] i am not entertained. are you not entertained? i'm very entertaining. [ laughter ] is this not what you came here for? yeah, you're not entertained. in an interview yesterday afternoon with cnn, bernie sanders said that he was stunned by the success he has had in the presidential race. that's right, he's stunned by his own success. and not, as i had assumed, by a taser. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] gives all his speeches holding that sharper image globe. [ light laughter ] i got a side deal with sharper image, you guys. [ laughter ] a new report shows that tray tables are often the dirtiest part of an airplan

>> seth: yeah. >> bruce, no? you ever been to a puff daddy show? [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. >> seth: you can't trust these people. [ laughter ] >> my show is still exciting. >> seth: i'm glad you said it's filled with excitement, because i have a clip i want to ask about. this is from the b.e.t. awards. and i'm very impressed with you, here, because, let's be honest, something goes wrong here and you have an ability to recover that i'm very -- should we show the clip first? let's just show the clip, and then we'll talk about it. >> you're talking about the b.e.t. -- you're going to do that to a brother? >> seth: i'm going to do it to you right now. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> seth: you fully -- so what happened? what happened? [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. you know what i tell people all of the time? i'm only human so what happened was -- [ laughter ] but i'm performing in front of like -- right? [ laughter ] ciroc apple coming to a place near you. very soon. but check this out. i'm perform

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. cnn's wolf blitzer told democratic presidential hopeful lincoln chafee yesterday that he is going to wind up looking silly if he stays in the race. and let's face it, also if he doesn't. [ laughtht ] chafee then told blitzer that he'll remain in the race as long as he can continue to raise important issues. and you know he's got a point. i mean, literally, he's got one point. [ laughter ] donald trump is reportedly threatening to pull out of the next gop debate unless cnbc reinstates opening and closing statements. and lincoln chafee is threatening to pull out of the next democratic debate if they're going to be questions. [ laughter ] this week was earth science week. it's the week you have to celebrate if you aren't smart enough for bio or chemistry y week. [ laughter ] got into earth science week. [ applause ] a swedish public television network is set this week to air "the period song," a song to childre

seth -- >> seth: i still don't think i did that. >> you don't think you -- >> seth: i don't think i did this. >> it's okay, seth. it's part of your personality. i mean, you're a different way on your show than you are at these private parties. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's true. [ applause ] >> you have an image. >> seth: yeah, this isn't the real thing. so you -- you -- you're still editing season three but you finished shooting. >> yeah, finished shooting. >> seth: so you'll have some time off. will you be taking a vacation? >> well, my dream is to go to italy. i've never been there. have you been? >> seth: that's wonderful. it's great, it's great. >> i have this, like, fantasy a little bit about, like, going to italy, and i just this dream ideal of like what would happen. can i talk to you about it here? or do you want to do this -- [ laughter ] we could do it after the show too. >> seth: no, i would love to. >> so i picture like i would go there and then i want to get into the country, you know. so i leave the city and i take a car there, and then i'm in this rural area, and then my

>> seth: bye, guys. >> seth, you're losing a lot of blood. >> seth: a florida woman was found -- >> sethwill miss him. [ fart sounds ] he [ bleep ] himself really bad. [ fart sounds ] >> now it's time for you to die, blacklist. >> oh, no! is this the end of "the blacklist"? >> hey, tronco, why don't you turn around? >> oh, no. [ explosion ] >> blacklist! >> you are a hero, blacklist. >> you saved the usa. >> i hereby declare "blacklist blues" the new national anthem. >> what a turn of events. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you. thank you. wow. um, it's such a like, surreal experience. well, what did you think? >> seth: you know what, i actually liked it. >> what? >> seth: yeah. we'll be right back with more -- >> we'll be right back with more "blacklist." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah, we know that feeling. you're so bloated you've started wearing sweatpants ...everywhere. when it finally happens, it's always the worst possible time. and when you're finished, you realize you've been in there for a very, very long time. being irregular is the worst. get more f

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right, glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. for the first time this primary season, a national poll has placed dr. ben carson as the republican front runner. carson was so excited about the news, his eyes almost opened. [ laughter ] hillary clinton said this weekend that the record turnout for bernie sanders rallies is great for the democratic party. and it wasn't easy for her to say that, because at the time, she was biting a cinder block in half. [ laughter ] so happy for you, bernie. it's great news for all of us. [ laughter ] donald trump said in an interview this weekend that he has a license to carry a concealed firearm in new york, and added that if someone ever attacked him, they're going to be shocked, especially when they see where he keeps it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ trump voice ] i'll happily turn over my wallet. just let me straighten my hair. [ laughter ] donald trum

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very happy to hear. let's get to the news. house republicans announced a sudden postponement to a vote to elect john boehner's replacement after speakership front-runner kevin mccarthy declared himself unfit for the job. though i think he just got scared of how difficult that job must be when he found out that john boehner is only 31 years-old. [ laughter ] despite claiming last week that he would have rushed the oregon shooter to save lives, dr. ben carson yesterday recounted how he was once held up at gunpoint in a popeye's chicken and told the gunman, "i believe you want the guy behind the counter." [ laughter ] so we know at least one guy who's definitely not voting for ben carson. [ laughter ] why would you tell him that? republican presidential hopeful john kasich made fun of a young woman at a campaign event this week by calling on her for a question and saying, "i'm sorry, i don't have any taylor swift tickets." then this mor

seth? >> seth: yes, rachel? >> i am sorry about the time i told your mom she was so brave for raising a gay son. [ laughter ] i realize, first of all, it was in poor taste and poor timing, because it was at your wedding. [ laughter ] and during my toast. [ laughter ] do you forgive me? >> seth: rachel? [ laughter ] you are forgiven. [ applause ] >> your turn, seth. >> seth: rachel? >> yes, seth? >> seth: the last time we went out to dinner, i thought it was your turn to pay. [ laughter ] but when i got home, i realized it was mine. [ laughter ] >> you son of a bitch. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you had two sprites! >> seth: i know, and i'm sorry. but do you forgive me? >> seth meyers, you are forgiven. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: your turn, rachel. >> okay. seth? >> seth: yes, rachel? >> i am sorry for getting you arrested at the airport. [ laughter ] i shouldn't have shouted "this man is kidnapping me!" at the top of my lungs. at the time i thought it would be funny, and i'll admit, i still do. [ laughter ]

>> seth: bye, guys. >> seth, you're losing a lot of blood. >> seth: a florida woman was found -- >> seth[ fart sounds ] he [ bleep ] himself really bad. [ fart sounds ] >> now it's time for you to die, blacklist. >> oh, no! is this the end of "the blacklist"? >> hey, tronco, why don't you turn around? >> oh, no. [ explosion ] >> blacklist! >> you are a hero, blacklist. >> you saved the usa. >> i hereby declare "blacklist blues" the new national anthem. >> what a turn of events. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you. thank you. wow. um, it's such a like, surreal experience. well, what did you think? >> seth: you know what, i actually liked it. >> what? >> seth: yeah. we'll be right back with more -- >> we'll be right back with more "blacklist." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: the "late night" music experience is brought to you by t- mobile. t-mobile is setting music free. stream all the music you want. data charges do not apply. want more late night music? watch premiere performances at latenightseth.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guests a

seth? >> seth: yes, rachel? >> i am sorry for getting you arrested at the airport. [ laughter ] i shouldn't have shouted "this man is kidnapping me!" at the top of my lungs. at the time i thought it would be funny, and i'll admit, i still do. [ laughter ] it was really funny seeing you scream "i'm not a kidnapper, i'm a talk show host, i'm on after jimmy fallon!" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: why did you tell them i hid drugs inside my butt? [ laughter ] >> because i thought they would give you a full cavity search. [ laughter ] did they? >> seth: they did. [ laughter ] >> awesome. [ laughter ] do you forgive me? >> seth: rachel? i forgive you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> okay. okay, your turn, seth. >> seth: rachel? >> yes, seth. >> seth: i'm sorry for that time i didn't bring a gift to your house warming. i should have been more thoughtful. >> seth, you are forgiven. [ applause ] seth. seth, i'm sorry for having a fake house warming party. [ laughter ] in order to get free gifts. and i'm also

>> seth: yeah. taste. >> thank you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: the best! >> short little story, the head of the advertising agent that put those together he watched me right before one of the shoots for cologne from aramis and he went, "no, no, no. not on your skin." [ laughter ] "wait, what?" "clothes, on your clothes." >> seth: oh my goodness. >> "not your skin." >> seth: that's -- i feel like that legally should be a tagline. [ laughter ] aramis, not on your skin. thank you so much for being >> yeah. >> seth: it's so great to see >> you too. [ cheers and applause ] ted danson, everybody. "fargo" season two premieres monday, october 12th on fx. it's great. we'll be right back with kevin millar and sean casey. if you could see your cough, it's just a cough. you'd see how often you cough all day and so would everyone else. new robitussin 12 hour delivers fast, powerful cough relief that lasts up to twelve hours. new robitussin 12 hour cough relief. because it's never just a cough. there are things we expect from a phone screen we expect it to be ridged. we

>> seth: right. yeah. [ laughter ] >> i mean, i'm a perfect match for rihanna. >> seth: yeah. >> and, so i was coming up with our -- our couple name. >> seth: oh, right. >> bliana was one of them. >> seth: bliana. that's good. >> and i tried rake. >> seth: that doesn't work. >> actually, neither one of them work. >> seth: they're not great. bubuof the two, bliana's better. it's interesting you say flirtiti with her, because i i- she's one of those people that would -- cause she did "snl" and she did music a bunch of times when i was there. and every once in a while we met in the hallway and she was like, "hey, how is it going?" and i think i said like -- [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] so i think if she was asking about me, she might have been saying, "is he brain damaged?" [ laughter ] >> did he ever get over the stroke? 'cause he clearly had a stroke when i met him. >> seth: it's not a bad thing, he hosts a talk show after having a stroke like that. had. >> seth: you're a four-time wier of "the voice." >

>> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the first democratic debate took place last night and it featured everybody's favorite ratings grabber, an old man loudly complaining about e-mail. [ laughter ] last night's democratic debate was watched by over 15 million [ laughter ] at last night's debate, presidential hopeful jim webb repeatedly complained that he wasn't being given enough attention, while lincoln chafee repeatedly complained that there wasn't any birdseed on stage like he was promised. [ laughter ] sheryl crow performed the national anthem before last night's debate, but many twitter users were unhappy with her performance, mostly because they thought the national anthem was "uptown funk." [ laughter ] many political pundits are calling hillary clinton the winner of last night's first democratic presidential debate. pundits like msnbc's millaray finton, cnbc's valerie quinton, and cnn's clinton hi

seth: represeative. >> iidn't tch that. >> seth: representive! >> a our representatives are currtly assisting other lk show hosts. >> seth: all right. you know what? tomated voice messages, my temper isn't the only thing that's red hot, because ya burnt. up next, true love -- [ buzzer ] oh, that buzzer means we've run out of time. this has been "ya burnt." [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. there was a time in my life, no kidding, where the three most important things in my life were the television show "cheers," baseball and comic books, which makes this a very exciting show for me tonight. from the new fx show "fargo," ted danson is joining us tonight. [ chrs andpplause ] onof my farite shows last yeari cann wait for season two. also, they are mlb network baseball analysts, kevin millar and sean casey are back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and he's the creator of amc's "the walking dead," comic book writer robert kirkman joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be a good one

i'm sorry. >> seth: i got so excited. >> seth: that was great. >> it's called a build up. man. >> seth: probably -- can i be safe that you will not be endorsing donald trump? >> i have to tell you, this is a little bit of news for you. i finally found something to >> seth: let's hear it. >> okay. you know, the gerus red hat wasn't working. >> seth: with the baseball cap? like flat brimmed? >> that was not right. the hair's not right, but just in the last few days, donald trump said that millionaire and billionaire hedge fund managers should have to pay the same tax rate as the rest of us. >> seth: there you go. >> and i was pleasantly surprised. and this is something a lot of us have been fighting for for a long time. there's a thing called the carried interest loophole. it says that some of the folks that make some of the biggest compensation in this entire country actually pay a lower tax rate than the vast majority of americans. trump joined with a lot of progressives and said that needs to change. actually jeb bush as well. so it's a very powerful year, because people are talking a

>> seth: no.t. >> you haven't seen it. >> seth: no, i haven't seen it. >> it's so good you have to see it. >> seth: oh, great. that's great. so what happened last night? >> there's this villain like the band-aid villain, made of band-aids. [ light laughter ] but the way he was created was -- everyone in the city of gotham is like guys, let's get all the used band-aids together. [ light laughter ] listen to me, everyone in the city, listen, listen. let's get these band-aids together. [ light laughter ] >> seth: who is saying that? who is telling everyone to listen? >> this representative of the city. [ laughter ] so he's like, "guys, i can wait all night. but i want to get it together. so all right, i'll wait." and then he's like "get these band-aids together. and we'll make --" >> seth: so he was waiting for everyone to quiet down? >> yeah. >> seth: so how long did that scene take? >> that was like a 20-minute scene. [ laughter ] so they were like let's create a villain we can control. let's get o

seth: go! and he's off to the devil's his first stop. >> i don't care how many lawyers you have, gail. you'll never tear this family apart! >> seth: well done! [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> look at yourself. and you call yourself an assistant principal. [ laughter ] >> seth: and it's off to the "no." two down, six to go. >> don't you die on me, you son of a bitch! [ light laughter ] tell my wife she was just -- okay. [ light laughter ] no! [ applause ] >> seth: get to the cyber zone! you need to hack into that mainframe, neil. >> i have to get to the firewall and into the mainframe. come on. oh, good, good, good. i'm in. now, to download the nano virus. come on. come on! come on, damnit. 40%. i gotta get this. check and mate. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right! it's time to get up the stairs. fun fact, neil patrick harris is also known as n.p.h. the n stands for neil, the p stands for patrick and the h stands for harris. and here he comes, up to the daddy go bye-bye door. >> g

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the third republican debate took place tonight at the university of colorado at boulder, which explains why the first question was, "have you ever, like, really --" [ laughter ] " -- like, looked at your hands?" take as much time as you need. after falling behind dr. ben carson in polls, donald trump said yesterday, "i don't like being second. second is terrible to me." "hey, believe me, third is even worse," said melania. [ laughter ] "because, for the first, the body is still young. and then he gets older for second, older still for third. he sags more." [ light laughter ] "the balls." donald trump said yesterday to supporters, "if i lose iowa, i will never speak to you people again." he added, "but if i win, i will never speak to you people again." [ laughter ] last night the world series game didn't end until nearly 1:30 in the morning for east coast viewers. isn't that crazy?

>> seth: yeah.s your finger? >> it's really good. thank you. >> you don't even know what i'm talking about. >> seth: nobody knows what you're talking about. >> never mind. apparently you don't watch the other show. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm very happy you're here. >> i'm happy to be here. >> seth: you and i have some stuff in common. we've done some gigs that not a lot of people have done both of. >> yeah. we're also super white. >> seth: super white. [ light laughter ] super white dudes. we both hosted the espys. >> yes we did. >> seth: the espn sports awards. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: and we have also both hosted the white house correspondents dinner. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. you were so nice to me, because i called seth trembling. i had ground my teeth down to nubs before the white house correspondents dinner, and i said, how -- tell me how this works. you were like, "don't [ bleep ] it up." [ laughter ] >> seth: i might have hung up even before i said up. i reme