>> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's fine. >> pretty decent ones. >> seth: pretty decent, that'sant to ask you about this 'cause we -- i first met you in chicago. you did one of the second city -- the famous theater, second city. they also would have touring groups go on boats, on cruise ships. >> yeah. >> seth: you were on one of the cruise ships. >> yeah. they have a deal with norwegian cruise lines. so if you're on one of their main ships you'll see a second city show. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and it was super fun. i love doing it. but it is a bizarre life. you're like at sea -- we have short contracts for four months. >> seth: yeah. >> and most contracts are like six months a year. and you're just at sea. and it's not terrible. i mean, you're on like a floating hotel, but you can't escape. so it is like a luxury prison. >> seth: uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> and there's all these different like statuses. we had like -- kinda like, i don't know we had something called blue card status, so you're kinda like you can do anything you want except get caught, you know, doing drugs. >>h: >> not

okay. >> seth: okay. >> and then, hold it. >> seth: okay. >> 45 degree angle. >> seth: okay.u have to get to know her for this. >> seth: okay, okay, okay. oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness. >> isn't that great? >> seth: is it weird i love it more than my son? [ laughter ] is that weird? it happened so fast. >> you are like the tiger whisperer. no one's been able to do this. >> seth: oh, okay. now, i hear some -- are there tigers backstage? >> yeah, so, for a tiger for everybody? >> seth: what? >> yes, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yes. >> okay, so come on out. >> you're the oprah of tigers. [ cheers ] >> oprah? >> "you get a tiger!" >> seth: oh, my goodness! >> thank you. oh, okay, so -- >> seth: hi. okay, so -- [ cheers ] >> they -- now, actually, watch your face. they're probably insured for a lot of money. [ laughter ] [ tiger meows ] these guys are -- [ tiger meows ] are formidable predators. they can actually -- >> seth: uh-huh. >> look at them. they can get vocal. >> by the way, andrew, you're doing a very good job. >> oh, thank you. [ tiger meows ] >> one day, t

>> seth. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what?ome. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, dewinterize? >> yes, everyone remembers to winterize their house. but preparing your home and plumbing systems for the warmer seasons is equally important. and if you don't know what you are doing, you can do more harm than good. >> seth: oh, man. >> make sure you turn every valve in your home back on. >> seth: valve? >> yes. including hose bibbs, flex line. [ light laughter ] ice maker hoses, water heater drain, sprinkler lines and -- oh, shoot, i'm forgetting something. what was it? dang? >> seth: water softener? >> no! >> seth: just trying to help, man. [ light laughter ] >> i'm sorry, seth. i'm on a new diet where they send me premade meals. it's great. i've lost five pounds, but i'm starving. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's okay, man. >> oh, i remember what it was. the dishwasher line. >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] god bless you. >> what? >> seth: god bless you. >> oh, thank you. >> seth: okay, man, i have to wrap this up. >> no set

>> seth meyers! >> seth: such a pleasure and an honor to have you. >> seth meyers! >> seth: fab moretti, and the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow.

>> seth: oh! with that. have it with that. >> seth: it's in the title of your show. >> have it with that. >> seth: all right, great. >> my brother. great. >> seth: very good. [ laughter ] i want to say this, too, you are of everybody who raps, you are the food rapper. you have wonderful rhymes about food. >> well, thank you because i really lived this. before i ever touched a pen to rap, i was cooking in kitchens all over new york. >> seth: and then, what happened? you were going to be a chef. and then, what happened that made you go into rap? >> i broke my leg, and i just had a couple of issues, and rap seemed cooler. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> but now, this is -- [ laughter ] trust me, it's not. this is much cooler. >> seth: yeah, well i would say the combo of the both, i would say, not since biggie smalls has somebody combined lyricism of food. >> well, thank you. >> seth: yeah. >> that means a lot. >> seth: i'm a big fan of -- i was a fan of your music, and this is the first time i've had

>> seth meyers! >> seth: such a pleasure and an honor to have you. >> seth meyers!ee you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening, everybody. i'm carson daly. thank you for being here. it's "la

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night."ow is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news, everybody. bernie sanders said today, "that it's absurd for reporters to ask him when he's planning on dropping out of the presidential race." said one reporter, "it's a legitimate question!" although bernie sanders, this morning, declined to name a possible running mate if he were to become the democratic nominee. he said that it would be a great idea to have a woman as vice president. said martin o'malley, "yoo-hoo!" [ laughter ] he's gonna "doubtfire" his way into the white house. [ laughter ] that's right. bernie sanders says it's a great idea to have a woman as vice president. "is it?" said john mccain. [ laughter ] "is it a great idea?" both hillary clinton and donald trump were favored to sweep today's primaries in connecticut, delaware, maryland, pennsylvania, and rhode island. and john kasich is still polling very high in the state of denial. [ laughter

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night."'s everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case let's get to the news. ted cruz decisively won last night's wisconsin republican primary, with almost 50% of the votes. but wait, if cruz was the winner, that means donald trump was the -- what's the word? >> a loser. [ applause ] >> seth: that's it. that's it, thank you. i always forget it right when i need it. following his win in wisconsin, ted cruz today campaigned in the bronx. said cruz supporters, "none of us live there." [ laughter ] hillary clinton and bernie sanders have scheduled a debate for next thursday in brooklyn. which is about as close as bernie sanders can get to wall street without spontaneously combusting. [ laughter ] john kasich, yesterday responded to donald trump's calls on him to suspend his campaign. and said, quote, "i'm not dropping out, i'm dropping in." specifically, in the polls. [ laughter ] former advisor roger stone threatened yesterday that he will send donald trump s

>> seth: yeah. >> just don't understand. >> seth: yeah.uy you kill with the hook maybe doesn't buy into that argument. [ laughter ] >> yeah. well, you know, and he uses -- again, he used everything. he just dismantles that car with his teeth. >> seth: yeah. >> he's is just an ultimate survivor. >> seth: there is a nice lightness to this film as well because you have a nice person's memories in your head, and your character gets frustrated over the film as he sort of learns how to have empathy. >> yeah. >> seth: because that's what he's accustomed to. >> well, it doesn't help you in a survival instinct, whenever you, love, whenever you take anybody on in your life, a level of responsibility, by nature, that slows you down. >> seth: this is bad. i just had a kid. i hate hearing this. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> seth: because i cannot be slowed down. >> no, you won't be. >> seth: also, this is one of my -- >> no beating people up, okay? that's over for you. >> seth: yeah, that's true. we see you in the beginning, and this is one of my favorite

>> seth: a few. >> a few bleep, bleep, bleep. >> seth: yes. >> that's how i talk -- >> seth: becausere. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: you don't just all of a sudden go quiet in the actual movie. >> i don't look away. like, seth, what's -- with you. [ light laughter ] i don't do that. i go all the way in. >> seth: you play a cop who's not comfortable with saying the "f" word. >> not at all. at all. i've never heard a cop say that. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's the thing about hard core cops -- though, this is exciting. this film has a great cast. woody harrelson, chiwetel ejiofor. >> yes. >> seth: kate winslet is in the film. >> aaron paul. >> seth: aaron paul, fantastic actor as well. but kate winslet, now, this obviously happens in movies all the time, you were not -- you did not have any scenes with her. >> no. no. i actually didn't believe she was in the movie. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, you know, directors and producers say stuff to get you to sign on to movies. they're like, "well, you know, we don't want to say it. it's kind of a secret. we have kate winslet."

congratulations, seth. >> seth: thank you so much. >> i hear you just had a baby. >> seth: i did have a baby, and the last time we saw each other, and i'm so excited to see -- say where it was, we were at kanye west's fashion show. >> we were with our sunglasses. >> seth: we both wore sunglasses. don't usually wear them inside, but you gave cover to do it. and you knew. you guessed that we were going to have a baby. if i remember rightly, we were both mesmerized by north west. >> seth: yes. >> "nori" to her best friends. and i looked at you, and i said, "seth, when are you and alexi going to have a baby?" and you went red, i mean, bright red. , it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. >> seth: yes, and then, that -- so we were at kanye west's fashion show, which i thought was fascinating. and then you went to his next fashion show -- >> i did. >> seth: at madison square garden. >> i did. >> seth: and it was maybe a little bit less fascinating. >> well, i got there very early beincause i came to do -- i got here about 1:00 this afternoon, and -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yo

i brought you a gift. >> seth: this is for -- >> for the baby. >> seth: for baby -- >> open it. >> sethn't want to -- >> check it out! [ light laughter ] >> seth: tracy. >> nice. >> seth: it's a bowl of condoms. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> that's right. that's right! he had a boy. read it. i want you to read the special advice i gave you. [ light laughter ] >> seth: baby meyers, don't get anyone pregnant before the age of 30, love uncle tracy. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> holler at me! >> seth: excellent. excellent advice, thank you. >> i know. >> seth: this is great, because you're a dad. >> yeah. >> seth: you're a dad and you have a baby girl. >> papa bear, yeah. >> seth: beautiful baby girl. >> maven morgan. >> seth: three boys before that, right? >> yeah. yeah. >> seth: your son, college, right? >> yeah, he's young. >> seth: yeah. >> he's the young one. he's 24. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> i have one 30. >> seth: wow, 30? >> yeah. >> seth: okay, great. >> 30. in the ghetto, we use sex as a sedative. [ laughter ] eases the pain of poverty. [ laughter ] you're broke, i'm broke

you'll see. >> seth: let's take a look. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's just awful. >> that is -- >> seth: i realize people could be thinking like did they edit that? you know, for comedy. that is what is happening. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. and the director was in a booth going take one. take camera two. >> yeah. and she's like this pretty, you know, cute girl singing this very catchy song and no movement whatsoever just like stoic listening. >> seth: and so this created frederick, your dry, german comedian. >> yeah. and now he's kind of like he's got that really wacky sense of german humor. you know. an example of frederick. >> oh, yeah. >> let's play a little prank on the lighting department, shall we? let's see if they notice that one. [ laughter ] good-bye cruel world. just kidding. i would never. and also they don't work like that. it won't turn on. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, so now we get it. ke in half richard garb. so, it's pretty easy, doing you know, observational prank, maybe some prop comedy. this one. here let's do this. >> seth: okay. >> i don't need to take this out. >>

also looking forward to -- >> hey, seth? >> seth: yeah?are you finding time for all of the guests that night to come back? >> seth: oh, hey. give it up for timothy olyphant, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] timothy, it just so happens, timothy was also booked on the show that we cancelled after my wife gave birth. and actually i was on the way, true story, to see his play, "hold on to me darling," when my wife's water broke. >> yeah. it's true. would have been nice to get a little heads up that you weren't gonna make it. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i'm sorry, timothy. it was just pretty crazy. >> you know what else is pretty crazy, seth? walking out on stage to do a play and seeing an empty seat right in the front row. [ laughter ] it's pretty tough for an actor. >> seth: again, i'm so sorry. i heard the play was great. >> yeah, i guess. "the new york times" said i brought a "startling bona fide sorrow to the encounter," but whatever. [ laughter ] >> seth: are you okay, timothy? >> well, it's just, i'm really happy that run river north has

>> seth: got it. left. >> seth: that's true. >> okay. >> seth: that's true. it must have been a nice dorm room. there were all 15 of you. [ light laughter ] >> exactly. >> seth: so, this is very exciting, 'cause last time you were here, it was early on, you were polling 11th, 12th place. you were tied. this is not -- i'm just, i'm talking about how far you've come. >> yeah. >> seth: you were running even with people who had no opinions. it was kasich tied with no opinion. and now you are in third. >> yep. >> seth: now, there's a caveat, there's only three of you. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] but i'm still standing. >> seth: you're still standing. >> but you know, it gets like this. there's coke, there's pepsi and there's kasich. >> seth: uh-huh. >> okay? because nobody's heard of me, right? so now it's sort of coke, pepsi, and kasich, i think. and then people just have to make up their mind if they want to put me in their cart. >> seth: gotcha. >> okay. and that's where we are. but for the first time in six weeks, i'm getting attention. you know why? because i

seth's here.ughter ] >> yeah. and we'd play basketball. >> seth: okay, gotcha. this is way more than me saying hello. it seems like you planned a whole night. >> we're gonna hang out. yeah. >> seth: i would bet russell crowe would get mobbed at dave & busters. >> you think that's where his people are? [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a good point. [ cheers and applause ] cecily strong, everybody. "snl" returns this week with russell crowe and musical guest margo price. and "the boss" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (boy) ma, pa - why do we settle for cable? (mom) because we're settlers and that's what we do. (girl) but with directv and at&t, you can get your tv and wireless service from one provider. (dad) are not we your providers? do we not provide you with this succulent jackrabbit pie? this delicious graywater soup? and a single lick of the family lolli every harvest moon? (vo) don't be a settler, get a $100 reward card when you switch t

hey, thanks for the help, seth. >> seth: any time.s always open. [ laughter ] >> no, now your door's always open, bitch boy. [ laughter ] ♪ hey, sahar, we have a meeting in here at 2:30. you know what? we can push that back. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> seth: i'm sorry i had to cut your sketch. >> what are you going to say at my funeral now that you've killed me? >> seth: we just ran out of time. we're gonna do it tomorrow. >> here lies the writer of my life whose heart i broke without a gun to my head. >> seth: it was just the david duchovny interview went long. >> here lies, the mother of my jokes. >> seth: it is possible your being dramatic? >> rest in peace my true love who i took for granted. most bomb [ bleep ]. >> seth: you can't say that on tv. >> sorry. most bomb [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ [ laughter ] >> hey, you guys -- >> this is what i wished for. ♪ >> seth: my comic books were in there. [ cheers and applause ] it's made it a lot more fun place to work. all changes for the better. now, moving on, the b

skoda. >> seth: that's great. >> which i think is a record. >> seth: oh, four? >> i don't know if it's, like, if there's a guinness book thing for that or -- >> seth: i don't think it's the record. [ laughter ] you know what? and i know who has the record. >> who is it? >> seth: it's richard belzer who played a cop on "homicide," and i think he's been in, like, 12. >> oh, no. i'm talking the same cop. belzer as -- >> seth: as the same cop. sorry, you are not even close. [ laughter ] >> wait a minute. the first time, i -- well, that was a different character because i did "homicide" with belzer. [ laughter ] >> seth: you did hom- because there was a crossover. there was a "homicide"/"law and order" crossover. >> crossover, but i was different nazi bastard on that one. >> seth: oh, did you really play >> the very first crossover. actually, that was why tom fontana who created "oz" -- >> seth: okay, "oz," of course. because i did his show playing -- >> seth: you got very lucky because that would be a tough thing to sustain over years as >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> y

>> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight?heers and applause ] yeah. that is good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump swept last night's republican primaries and hillary clinton won four of the five democratic races. so it looks like the general election is gonna be the billionaire versus the unstoppable force. in other words, it's gonna suck. [ laughter ] oh. it's going to suck so hard. in his victory speech last night, donald trump pointed out that john kasich has only won one of republican primaries and asked his supporters, "why he is here." while chris christie was clearly asking himself, "why am i here?" [ laughter ] donald trump last night closed his victory speech with a swipe at hillary clinton and said, quote, "the only card she has is the women's card." said hillary, "it's called marshalls. [ laughter ] it has a name, sir." during his victory speech last night, donald trump dismissed the idea of facing a contested convention saying, "as far as i'm concerned, it's over." and by it, i assume he

>> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight?heers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to a new poll, hillary clinton is beating bernie sanders by 10 points in new york. and there's only one way you can blow a 10-point lead in new york. oh, no, hillary, no! [ laughter ] no! hillary clinton's campaign is reportedly trying to anticipate what specific personal attacks donald trump may use if they face in the general election. and after considering his options, he'll narrow it down to these -- ♪ [ laughter ] [ applause ] narrowed it down to those. bernie sanders said today that none of the ideas he's proposed in his campaign are radical or unrealistic other than, of course, the idea of a 74- year-old jewish president with a $2 hair cut. [ laughter ] house speaker paul ryan today continued to shoot down rumors that he could be a surprise candidate at the republican convention and said that he's not the fresh face his party needs. i guess he hasn't gotten a look at the other faces in con