>> seth: you told me it would be okay! >> seth, how could you?: black women and lesbians are liars! [ light laughter ] >> seth: we'll be right back with aubrey plaza, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ remember 2007? smartphones? o m g ten years later, nothing's really changed. it's time to snap out of it. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x optical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the moto z with moto mods. visit verizonwireless.com/droid to discover today's hot deal. ♪ ♪ ♪ my swthis scarf all thatsara. left to remem... what! she washed this like a month ago the long lasting scent of gain flings hey, bud. you need some help? no, i'm good. come on, moe. i have to go. (vo) we always trusted our subaru impreza would be there just didn't think someday would come so fast. see ya later, moe. (vo) introducing the all-new subaru impreza. the longest-lasting vehicle in its class. more than a car, it's a subaru. it's so delicious. i can't believe it has 40% fewer calories than butter. i can't believ

. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers.s is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the kremlin today dismissed allegations of russia interference in the election, and so did the gremlin. [ laughter ] president trump signed a funding bill today thapp efforts to explore deep space and lay the ground work for a human mission to mars. "ooh, me first!" said one volunteer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] passengers on foreign airlines traveling to the u.s. from ten airports in muslim majority countries have been barred from carrying electronic devices larger than a cell phone. seems extreme, but it's worth it if it stops even one tourist from taking pictures with an ipad. [ laughter and applause ] has to stop. it has to stop. ivanka trump is reportedly getting an office in the white house in addition to security clearance and government-issued communication devices. even more unbelievable, so is donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] an o

on, seth!er ] [ cheers and applause ] yeah! >> seth: you think i look like that? >> everyone thinks you look like this. [ light laughter ] at least do something to honor the three-year anniversary. you know what you could do is you could bring out one of your old snl friends. >> seth: yeah, but i already do that on regular shows. >> yeah, no [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] you should call this show "snl dvd extras." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: hey, look, i have to get on with the show, all right? >> seth, if you don't want to talk about it for me, then at least do it for my sick little brother. [ audience aws ] >> seth: i'm sorry to hear about that. what does he have? [ sighs ] >> he's in the hospital. he's got a really bad fever. yeah, i guess you could say he's -- ya burnt! [ laughter ] >> seth: that's enough with you. >> why don't you mention the anniversary? >> seth: even if i did talk about the anniversary of the show -- >> uh-huh. >> seth: what would you even want me to say? >> i don't kno

: okay, here you go, seth. >> seth: come on.d: seth, make him bite you in the middle of it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, look, they're friends. okay. >> of course. >> seth: no, that's the competition. we don't talk to the competition. >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> seth: all right. here, look. look. >> talk to your dog. say, "come on. let's go." >> seth: come on. all right, ready? let's go. this gait is very important. come with me. here we go. nice! [ cheers and applause ] ready to go back? let's go! oh, you're so good. [ applause ] >> slow down, slow down. >> seth: okay, and now, and now. >> let the judge see your dog's face. >> seth: oh, yeah. come over here and look at the face, fred. [ light laughter ] >> fred: okay, here we go. look at the face. okay. >> seth: okay. >> fred: very good. >> you want to make sure he has the right characteristics. >> fred: okay. >> seth: what are the characteristics you're looking for, fred? >> well, obviously, with the miniature schnauzer, the beard. >> fred: hair, the beard. >> that's rig

seth meyers, boo! [ laughter ] >> seth: sorry, what's that? >> i'm said boo, seth meyers!] hey stop being boring and bring out tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tracy, buddy, what are you doing? [ laughter ] i'm wearing a hat and mustache. [ laughter ] this disguise makes me a different person. >> seth: yeah, tracy, buddy, just let me finish up this segment, we'll do a commercial, and i'll bring you right out. >> i told you i'm not tracy morgan. [ light laughter ] look at this mustache. it's definitely not a fake, seth meyers. >> seth: no, no. you're clearly tracy morgan. >> man, i wish i was tracy morgan. with his great smile and his six pack abs, and his six pack dong. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: six pack dong? >> he got a dong full of -- seth. >> seth: okay, right. [ laughter ] if you're not tracy morgan, then who are you? >> i'm denzel washington. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: no, you're not denzel washington. >> i'm leonardo dicaprio. [ laughter ] >> seth: you're not leonardo dicaprio. >> yeah, i'm barney frank. >> seth: you're barn

. >> seth: okay.cause i heard you backstage telling people that you think you've been wiretapped. >> fred: oh, definitely. [ laughter ] definitely. >> seth: yeah, you don't have to make this up. >> fred: it is for real. okay, so, in my place, i'm just like walking around, you know, trying to make coffee. so, all of a sudden there's like -- there's a cable out of the back of the coffee machine. [ light laughter ] who knows where it's going. [ laughter ] my charger for my phone going into another -- like just into like -- there are cables everywhere, seth. they are everywhere. >> seth: now are these -- you're sure these aren't the plugs? [ laughter ] >> fred: it could be the -- it could be. >> seth: okay. >> fred: but there are a lot of wires, is all i'm saying. >> seth: because i think -- like historically, when people wiretap, they don't leave the cables out, because that would defeat the purpose, because -- >> fred: got it. >> seth: when you wiretap -- >> fred: got it. >> seth: you want -- >> fred: g

>> seth: oh wow! look at that. >> yeah. >> seth: woo! evan hansen." >> seth: you're right. >> yeah. you've seen it? cularly funny, but it's wonderful. >> it is -- oh, i've never seen such bette by anybody, anywhere. >> seth: i feel like we really need to stress -- i just want to make sure no one's at home sayi, i "ow morgan freeeman on 'late night' i'm going to check s a 'dear evan hansen.'" nderful show, everybody should see it. >> just incredible. >> seth: it's incredible.t? [ light laughter ] >> seth: i want to ask you about one last thing, before wle >> seth: samuel l. jackson was here and we were talking about the fact that you guys were friends backth >> seth: back in new york. denzel too, yeah? >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: all just new york ac.>>eth: did you know then tha they would all be as successful asy er ]o.laug inib >> sam -- [ laughter app because,hi >> seth: okay. >> so, and i never -- you know, but i'm not going to get here. >> seth: yeah. and watch the johnny carson show. an >> seth: well, it all worked out for all you guys.

ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump gave his first speech to a joint session of congress last night. and good news, everybody. he's normal now. [ light laughter ] so our work here is done. when you tune in tomorrow night, this will be a cooking show. [ laughter ] president trump last night, announced the creation of a department called voice, which will deal specifically with crimes committed against americans by immigrants. not to be confused with "the voice," which deals with crimes against music committed by teenagers. [ light laughter ] former kentucky governor, steve basheer delivered the democratic response to president trump's address to congress last night. and i don't want to say it was dull, but this isn't a photograph. this is a video. [ laughter ] [ applause ] today was ash wednesday, the day when non-catholics say to catholics, "go like this." [

>> seth: yeah. >> sorry. >> seth: and you still vacation together? because, like i'm rich now? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> if i don't take them, and by the way, you know i know it's going to end soon. i'm spending it like an athlete. >> seth: yeah, right. >> you know, i'm just like -- >> seth: no that's true. >> new rims. >> seth: that's the big thing for athletes -- >> i need a grill. >> seth: --is, like, a crew of people. >> right. so my entourage is my girls from high school, and if i don't take them away on a vacation like twice a year, they're like, "you've changed." you know? [ laughter ] so it's like -- they're like, "where are we going?" they're so corrupt. >> seth: here are your friends. >> there are my friends. >> seth: they look fantastic. >> aren't they cute? there they are. >> seth: here's another one. where are you? >> bam! >> seth: where did you go? >> we went to the bahamas. [ laughter ] it's a good crew, right? it's a good crew. >> seth: did you do anything fun in the bahamas? >> i mean, honestly, we drank and, we --

a different person now. >> i have evolved, seth. >> seth: yes. >> yes, that's right. >> seth: how do yourself from 10 or 12 years ago? >> the bong hits have kind of -- >> seth: sure. they do have an effect. >> they do have an effect. >> seth: yeah, okay. >> yeah, absolutely. i found that jpegs help a little bit. but what i discovered in season one was e-mail helps more than anything else. >> seth: okay. >> i've had the same e-mail address for a while. you can do date parameters, to search within this time window. and i can type in keywords. and i -- my whole tragedy is in the inbox. >> seth: okay. >> so i can find an e-mail and within two or three lines -- >> seth: does that mean you -- >> the whole restored memory is lost again. >> seth: so you don't delete a lot of stuff then? >> no. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> no, i have a fear of death. it's all woven into my inbox. >> seth: oh, okay good. >> i don't delete anything. >> seth: so what's a word that you would search for, for an e-mail that would help you ray's character? >> anger. >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, li

>> seth: i'm good. light laughter ] >> seth: and we had some predictions on how things would go, but this has, i would say has even run afield of that. wouldn't you say? >> yeah, i mean i think the big thing i think that the day after the election that we talked about a little bit is, you know, in american politics every action has an equal and opposite reaction. what would be the reaction? and we've seen it. i mean, it's sort of remarkable to watch this sort of mobilization happening, this fight over health care. it's been pretty astounding to watch what's happened in the last two months. >> seth: because we talked about the speed in which the republican party would try to disassemble the accomplishments of the obama administration. and it seems like what they're running up against is all of a sudden, there's this sense of maybe you didn't like obamacare, but you are more afraid of what no obamacare is. >> yeah, and very much i think there's a respect in which a from some of the things they want to get

i mean, so. >> seth: "bow watch." >> "bow watch." >> seth: is it lespr >> exactly. >> seth: yeah. [ lightwatched "bow watch" when it was on. >> they didn't. they missed out. >> seth: it just didn't work. >> it's like "arrested development." they missed it. >> seth: exactly. it was just slow-motion, people tying bows. >> yeah, i don't know why it didn't -- catch more heat. >> seth: yeah, well, who knows. how did you -- i noticed you're wearing leather in the "leather special." is that how you came up with your name for the "leather special?" >> yeah -- i -- well, every comic that i love has had some special where they wear leather and then later they kind of regret it, they look stupid. and i was like, "i haven't done that yet." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and i regretted it immediately. >> seth: oh, you did immediately? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: because i was going to say what's the timeline do you think for regret? >> mine was, like, when i took the microphone out of the mic stand. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i was, like, "mistake. hi, denver." [ laughter ] >> seth: was it a s

. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers.s "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump last night, fired acting attorney general sally yates, but not before uttering his famous catchphrase, "i'm bad at being president." [ light laughter ] oh, wait no. now i remember it. "your next to the guy whose bad at being president." [ light laughter ] white house press secretary sean spicer today said, that president trump's executive order on travel is not a ban, despite trump using the term in a tweet yesterday. and trump was so embarrassed his face turned red 30 years ago. [ light laughter ] according to a new poll 45% of republicans believe god helped elect president trump. though personally, i find it hard to believe that god would turn his back on his old high school classmate. [ laughter ] "you're leaving me hanging out here." [ laughter and applause ] "i shared my sandwich with you." [ light laughter ] "we rode the bus, and y

so -- >> seth: who dated? >> me and jennifer lopez. >> seth: no.the same level of attractive so it just kind of made sense. [ laughter ] >> seth: that is objectively untrue. >> no, seriously. take another look at her. she's super pretty. >> seth: not what i was disagreeing with. [ laughter ] >> i'm going to go on record here and say i don't even a little bit believe that you dated jennifer lopez. but in the interest of not having to go back to this meeting, sorry, when were you two a couple? >> i think like 2002. >> seth: 2002? so when you were in high school? >> yeah. that sounds about right. >> seth: no. it sounds really wrong that jennifer lopez would date a high schooler. also, i'm pretty sure jennifer lopez was famously engaged in 2002. >> if so, that's on her. it's not on me. [ laughter ] >> i'm on her wikipedia page and it says that jennifer lopez was engaged to ben affleck. >> well, there you go. people always say i'm like a handsome ben affleck. [ laughter ] >> seth: who says that? >> i think i heard amber and jenny say it once. [ laughter

>> own them. >> seth: this is -- you've got it locked down. [ applause ] >> hey, seth, seth, that's notaughter ] >> seth: what is that? >> that's a five-head. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this is very -- this is a fierce look right there, that is excellent. [ cheers ] >> oh, and my daddy asked me if i put that dress on backwards. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that would be a thing that a dad would ask. there you go, take -- there you go, you get it now. and then this is -- i mean -- this hair. this is fantastic. >> how about that? >> seth: that is -- that is -- [ applause ] there was a very small window in our nation's history where it was okay to have that much hair. >> that is jacked up to jesus. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that is jacked up. that hair. you have so many fans, but you also have, there are sort of a legion of reba impersonators. is that -- do you consider that a tribute? are you happy to see people who are such fans of yours that they're willing to impersonate you? >> absolutely. yeah! the only thing i don't like about it, i like the way they do their makeup better than wh

>> seth: very nice bookend. >> american bookends. >> seth: there you go.vie. >> yeah. >> seth: "book of love." >> yes. >> seth: jessica biel, and maisie williams. >> yeah. from "game of thrones." >> seth: from "game of thrones." fantastic. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: do you want -- we'll show clip and talk about it? how -- what order do you want to do this in? >> yeah, let's show the clip. >> seth: okay. >> well, the basic idea, i guess i should tell you what it is. the clip, it will make more sense, is that i play -- my wife passes away very early on in the movie, and to go through the mourning process, i promised my wife that i would help this little homeless girl build a raft out of trash. >> seth: got you. there you go. i'm glad you set it up. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: let's take a look. >> suck it! >> why are you building a raft? >> f off, amber alert! >> wait, hey, look, i have the plans, i have your plans right here. i did this. i mean, it's just from memory, but you know, with a few modifications -- i've got a ton of ideas. hey, well you can

eers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case, let's get to the news. last night, rachel maddow aired an exclusive report on how to stretch out an hour. [ light laughter ] who produced that segment, ryan seacrest? [ laughter ] this joke -- after the break. [ laughter ] rachel maddow aired an exclusive report last night rtioveof pres 2005 tax return. specifically the part where he claimed ivanka and donald jr. as dependents, and tried to write off eric as a loss. [ laughter and applause ] maddow also reported last night that president trump claimed over $100 million in business losses in 2005. how do you lose $100 million in 2005? did you buy stock in heidi montag? [ laughter ] in this day in history, julius caesar was stabbed by his own senators. so if i were trump i'd watch out for -- eh, he'll be fine. [ laughter ] according to a new report from the department of health and human services, 2017 has marked the first ever decline in signups

>> seth: thank you.in a room of three hundred. [ laughter ] so, but i heard this was actually part of the challenge of this show, is having to be like some sort of exercise instructor because -- >> yeah, i mean i guess i should have kind of prepared beforehand and really hind of worked my body into a point where i could do it. i did not do that at all. we kind of um -- they taught me the routine the day of -- the day we were shooting. >> seth: oh, so you did -- you were not one of those actors who trained -- >> they kind of didn't. >> seth: you did not research piloxing? >> i knew what it was, but jean-marc, the director, he's very into just things being natural. and he was like, "well, we'll just do it on the day." and i was like, "okay, that sounds okay." and then they had an instructor. so on the day we were shooting, i did like an hour beforehand, and then i taught the class over and over again. and for continuity, we only did one side, so it was always the same. so the next day, like one side of my

>> seth, she didn't even make a point! >> seth: you're right.pic please. >> seth: toxic waste. trump recently repealed an obama-era ban that prevented coal companies from dumping refuse into streams and rivers. ally? >> is trump just openly trying to kill us now? does flint or standing rock, mean nothing to him? he and ivanka claimed the environment was important to them for good pr, but then they turned around and did this? you can't have your cake and eat it too. >> seth: strong words. amber? >> if you have cake, you better eat it. or else i'm gonna. [ laughter ] i cannot control myself around cake. no matter whose birthday it is. and usually i don't have to. now that's the great thing about cake, is most people want your help eating it. heck, if i have some birthday cake, i'll share it with you. >> oh, my god. >> seth: uh, i think you mean thank you? she just offered to share cake with you, ally. >> she has no cake! that was hypothetical! she shouldn't even be talking about cake. >> seth: you're the one talking about cake. >> hey, there's eno

ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, and this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. it's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. today is president's day. and you just know trump was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents. [ laughter ] "well, then they shouldn't call it that, because that's very confusing." [ light laughter ] the president took office one month ago today, and just look at how the job has already aged him. [ laughter ] that's right. [ applause ] that's right. president trump took office one month ago today. wow. it's hard to believe the past few years has only been a month. [ laughter ] at a recent dinner, while president trump invited other attendees to order whatever they wanted, trump demanded chris christie have the white house meat loaf. coincidently, white house meat loaf is also the position trump is considering him for. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] you need a meat loaf. senator john mccain criticized president trump's

>> seth: i know.t's a very intense clip to introduce someone. >> just look at me! >> seth: you know. so we'll find out if his friend died. let's bring him out. >> it's like, oh my god. >> seth: but this is, you're a very -- sometimes, you're promoting this film which is coming out but also right now, you're on broadway doing "sunday in the park." >> yes. >> seth: has it been fantastic? have you -- >> it's been life changing. it's an incredible piece. "sunday in the park with george" is and then -- and then meanwhile, having a lot of fun talking about this movie which is a whole bunch fun. but, yeah. no i mean -- yeah -- i -- we do, you know, the press tours, you go around the world. and last week we went around to europe. and it was amazing. right before we did a show on sunday and we flew off after. and at that show, i was in the middle of the show, and the second act is really emotional, you know, and i, annaleigh ashford, who was here. >> seth: i know. fantastic co-star. >> she's fantastic. and she

meyers. >> seth: good evening.'m seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. it's our first show of the news year, and let's get to the news. meryl streep was given the cecil b. demille lifetime achievement award at the golden globes last night, and used her acceptance speech to criticize donald trump. that's right, the all-time queen of american drama was criticized by meryl streep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] senate majority leader mitch mcconnell said yesterday republicans will begin repealing obamacare by the end of the week. but don't worry, he's not taking away your health care, he's just storing it in his cheeks for the winter. [ laughter and applause ] the movie "la la land" won a record seven golden globes last night. the movie tells the story of a struggling jazz musician named sebastian who against all odds is white. [ light laughter ] a new poll shows that 55% of americans are confident that donald trump will defend u.s. interests abroad. but an int

>> seth: it's so good to see you. >> you too, good to see you. >> seth: this is very fun.the -- you are the voice of an imaginary friend. >> yes. it's the role i was born to play. >> seth: this is -- >> a creature. >> seth: a creature? >> fuzzy creature, yes. >> seth: it's a cute creature. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: there you go, yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: it's very cute. >> mm-hmm, yeah. [ audience aws ] aw, come on. >> seth: and did you enjoy -- did you do a lot of background work on imaginary friends before you found the voice? >> no. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> no, i just went in the booth and, you know, laid down some tracks. [ laughter ] >> seth: it must be fun, though. getting to just go in the booth. >> it's super fun. yeah, it's really fun, because you know, you just have your voice. >> seth: yeah. >> it's a fun -- it's a fun way to -- i don't know what i'm saying. [ laughter ] it was really fun, though. it was really fun. >> seth: that's great. >> that part's true. >> seth: i want to ask, because it is my great life's delight to talk to you about your so

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night."verybody doing tonight? [cheers and applause] all right, in that case, let's get to the news. former trump campaign manager paul manafort is being accused of laundering money from the political party of ukraine's former president. "guilty!" said his face. [ laughter ] president trump met with a congressional black caucus today. and before the meeting, jeff sessions picked up the phone and dialed 9-1, just in case. [ laughter ] supreme court nominee neil gorsuch faced another round of questioning today during his confirmation hearing. also facing another round? trump! [ light laughter ] according to a new report -- according to a new report, the average health insurance deductible is projected to be over $1500 higher under the republican plan to replace obamacare. and the only way that's good news is if hearing it gave you a heart attack now, while it's cheaper. [ laughter and applause ] the white house said yesterday that president trump was just having fun when he told a congressman t

>> seth: i don't know.ax. [ cheers ] there you go. [ light laughter ] i love halifax. some haligonians. and i was having like a great show, because i love halifax. it's actually one of the funnest towns ever. but i want to keep that a secret, right? and all of a sudden, i come to introduce this sketch and somebody goes, "you have wonderful energy, michael." [ laughter ] i'm like, "what?" it's just the whole audience laughed and i said, "well, beelzebub is in the house tonight," and got a big laugh. "you really do, michael." i was like, "this is freaky." do the show. i don't know anybody in halifax. and then it's, "you have a guest," right? "really?" and i come and it's this dude. he's got black ringlets of hair. and eye makeup and an inverted star of pentacles around his neck. he goes, "i just wanted to tell you that this is one of the seven energy centers in the world, halifax. [ light laughter ] and it was a great show. blessed be, michael." right? [ laughter ] and he sort of like hovered backwards. and i

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers.s is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump will meet with the president of china next week to discuss trump's claims about china's unfair trade practices. which means we're about two weeks away from having to call these "freedom cookies." [ light laughter ] president trump will meet with the president of china next week, and if that makes you nervous, wait 'til you hear him try to speak chinese. >> bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: to be fair, we took that out of context. [ laughter ] that was not him trying to speak chinese. that was him speaking korean. [ laughter ] vice president mike pence today cast a tie-breaking vote to eliminate a rule that blocks states from defunding planned parenthood. because mike pence only approves of one type of birth control, his personality. [ laughter and applause ] as of this afternoon, over 300

meyers. >> seth: good evening.h meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] oh, man, that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, congrats to president trump on creating the least popular bill since cosby. [ laughter ] [ bill cosby impression ] "tryin' to move on with my life, but you keep makin' me" -- [ light laughter ] after the republican plan to replace obamacare failed, president trump will reportedly focus on overhauling the national tax code this week. yeah, the tax code is a mess. i mean, just look at trump's taxes. somebody, please. [ laughter ] somebody put eyeballs on them. [ cheers and applause ] white house press secretary sean spicer said today that president trump came to washington to get things done. that's why five minutes into every meeting he says, "are we done?" [ light laughter ] president trump met today for a roundtable discussion with female small business owners. and they were all pretty upset when one of them won. [ laughter a