30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- tiffany haddish, music from the war on drugs, an all new "jokes seth can't tell", featuring the 8g band with gil sharone. ♪ [ cheersnd applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late ght." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. according to the "new york times", the fbi today the office of president trump's personal attorney michael cohen and took records related to payments to adult film star

new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, colin quinn, u.s. senator from wisconsin, tammy baldwin, cooking with chef missy robbins, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump held a campaign rally last night in minnesota. and long story short, we are now in a trade war with minnesota. [ laughter ] first lady melania trump made a surprise trip to the u.s./mexico border today and visited a facility holding migrant children. "i can't imagine what terrible things you've been through," said one of the kids to melania. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

lambert featuring the 8g band with emmanuelle caplette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersught ]

seth meyers with "late night with seth meyers."retarers, when are you going to start telling us the truth? >> not today or tomorrow or at any point ever. [ light laughter ]. >> seth: gre can you tell us a little bit about eric trump's birthday party? >> no one from the white house staff will attend. [ laughter ] >> seth: what did jared kushner say to donald trump during the election? >> i wish i could vote for you but i'm only 11. [ laughter ] >> seth: sarah, where do youee yourself in five years? >> further from the truth. [ lidience ohs ] t laughter ] >> seth: president trump seems to be fairly unfriendly to angela merkel. was ere ever a time when tru liked germany? >> from 1942 to 1945. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: why does president trump want to meet with vladimir putin? >> to accept the check. [ laughter ] >> seth: what did president trump tellis kids to do on mother's day? >> call your moms. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: the president has an unced a new branch of the military called the space force. what's t

head over to itunes and subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. d applause ] >> seth: my thanks to the great martha stewart, everyone. jonathan rhys meyers. nate smith, thanks for a great week! 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hi, there. i'm carson daly. this is hyde sunset, and you are watching "last call." thanks, so much. here is tonight's rundown. in our spotlight, it's all about the american star holly taylor.

seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers."tary sanders, when was the last time you told the truth? >> nearly two years ago. [ laughter ] >> seth: what will president trump do if robert mueller finds him to have broken the law? >> change the law. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what's the one thing that makes the job of press secretary the most difficult? >> everything that this president does. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: secretary sanders, i have a question about you. where the flip are you from? >> from flipping arkansas. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's the only way we're going to be able to get through the trump presidency? >> the legalization of all drugs, anywhere. [ applause ] >> seth: dr. ronny jackson put president trump on a diet last year. how is that going? >> lasted about a half hour. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's the most exciting part of the president's job? >> being a russian spy. [ laughter ] >> seth: what happens when the president sees a door labelled "pull"? >> president trump will continue to push. [ laughter

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how's everybody doing tonight?

we could not bring the -- back alive. >> seth: please welcome to the show, jonathan rhys meyers, everyonelcome to the show! >> you're so kind. thank you very much for viting me. >> seth: this is very exciting, tomorrow is your birthday, so when this airs -- >> yes. >> seth: it's technically your birthday. >> correct. >> seth: happy birthday. thank you.so kind. [ cheers and applause ] gh seth: and strangely, th this counts as a birthday present to martha that you're here. so that's --ol >> oh, i do ize for missing that show. [ laughter ] >> martha: i'm sorry you did. >> i'm so sorry. yo martha: it's good to se >> seth: it was so heartbreaking because it was genuinely all "tudor"-themed cooking. we had to make hot cross buns. it was really -- it was heartbreaking. >> martha: bloody marys. >> seth: bloody marys. yeah, it[ as all there. ght laughter ] >> seth: oh, yeah, it was like -- yeah, it was like going on a date with someone who just spent the whole time talking about their ex. [ laughter ]>> h. >> seth: so did you play -- >> i've been on that date. >> seth: yeah, i thive all been on th

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump and russian president vladimir putin had a one-on-one meeting today that lasted over two hours. ugh, poor trump! that is a long time to hang out with your boss. [ laughter ] first lady melania trump wore a yellow gown to attend a state dinner in england last week. yellow gowns are of course the official uniform of women being held captive by beasts. [ laughter ] [ applause ] "here's the thing though. i don't change back." in an interview with the newspaper "the sun," president trump said immigration has changed the fabric of europe adding, quote, "and i don't mean that in a positive way." said trump, "i mean it in a racist way. [ laughter ] wink." the "washington post" has published an article investigating where doves go after they're released at weddings, and you do not want to read the article. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this tastes beautiful. [ light laughter ] former first lady mic

[ laughter ] >> you -- if they took that clip and showed it, they were like, "seth meyers is dead." [arshmello. again, if i said marshmello to young kids they'd be like, "you touched him?" >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and he won with this huge marshmallow mask on with ninja. and it was -- >> seth: well, and this is an interesting -- >> it was so exciting. >> seth: i want to ask you, because you actually -- you played college football. >> yes. this is quite a transition. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, no, it's interesting. >> and -- >> seth: no, because i think that there's this interesting question now that people who played football growing up, like, we now know about, like, the danger and safety of football. >> right. >> seth: like, in video games when we were young, everybody talked about how it melted your brains and stuff. but now you look at these guys. i mean, these guys like marshmello and ninja, they genuinely are now athletes -- >> and celebrities. >> seth: yeah and -- >> yeah. >> seth: and it's -- and you kind of go, "oh, that might be safer than the thing our parents

robbins, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyerspaign rally last night in minnesota. and long story short, we are nos [ laughter ]

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. special counsel robert mueller and donald trump jr. were spotted on friday at the same gate at an airport in washington, d.c. look at this photo. first off, well like of course don jr. is the kind of guy who crowds the gate. [ light laughter ] while mueller is sitting patiently like, trust me. you're not going anywhere for a while. [ laughter ] second, where are they both going? don's dressed like he's on the first flight out of cancun. [ light laughter ] and mueller is dressed like he's on the first flight period. [ laughter ] or maybe that just is his casual wear. "you probably noticed my top button's unbuttoned. that's because i'm going to the beach." [ light laughter ] according to axios, during discussions about renewable energy, president trump has more than once declared to administration officials, quote, "i hate the wind." [ light laugher ] which is bad news for his lawyer who also blows. [ laug

ad over to itunes to subscribe to "the late night with seth meyers" podcast. d applause ] >> seth: my thanks to joel mchale, beth ditto. nimesh patel, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] emmanuelle caplette, of course the 8g band. rray tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you to. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

featuring the 8g band with emmanuelle caplette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers, poor trump! that is a long time to hang out with your boss.

featuring the 8g band with joe russo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies a gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth

featuring the 8g band with emmanuelle caplette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersews. president trump and russian president vladimir putin had a one-on-one meeting today that lasted over two hours.

: good evening, i'm seth meyers.

featuring the 8g band with nate smith. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. > quote, "they definitely don't want trump."

can't tell", featuring the 8g band with gil sharone. ♪ [ cheersnd applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers

kids, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersmer trump campaign chairman paul manafort's bail on friday and sent him to jail while he awaits trial.

kiyoko, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersg families at the border. and said, quote, "congress can fix this tomorrow.

& years, featuring the 8g band with joe russo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersh: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, this weekend sarah huckabee sanders got to do what conservative white women love most -- speak with a manager. [ laughter ]e ite house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders was asked to leave a restaurant in virgia on friday, because sh works for the trump administration. which is weird because usually w people wk for the trump administration are asked to leave the trump administration. [ laughter and applause ] president trump today attacked the restaurant that asked white house ess secretary sarah huckabee sanders to leave overhe weekend and tweeted, quote, "i always had a rule, if a restaurant is dirty on the outside, it is dirty on the inside." "i have a similar rule," said robert mueller. [ light laughter ] [ cheers a applause ] president trump criticized the media's coverage of his immigration policies, twe

featuring the 8g band with emmanuelle caplette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersso good news, apparently there are going to be future u.s. elections.

>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, kristin chenoweth, star of broadway's "the boys in the band," actor andrew rannels. featuring the 8g band with emmanuelle caplette. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentls.en, seth mey >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyer i th"late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump and russian president vladimir putin had a one-on-one meeting today that lasted over two hours. ugh, poor trump! that is a long time to hang out with your boss. [ laughter ] first lady melania trump wore a yellow gown to attend a state nn in england last week. yellow gowns are of course the i officialrm of women being held captive by beasts. [ laughter ] plause ] "here's the thing though. i don't change bk." in an interview with the newspaper "the sun," president trump said immigration has br changed the of europe adding, quote, "and i don't mean that in a positive way said trump, "i mean it in a racist

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?heers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the ice ws anthony kennedy announced he is retiring today. "do you know what that means?" said trump who was really asking. [ laughter ] also, justice kennedy, what are you doing retiring, man? you have a great job where you barely work. you get a wear a robe all day and give your opinions on stuff. that basically is retirement. [ laughter ] stick around, at least until we get a new president. six months tops. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] 28-year-old first time candidate alexandria ocasio cortez beat ten-term representative joe crawley in late -- last night's new york democratic primary. and i got to say, nancy pelosi looked very surprised two years ago. [ laughter ] president trump spoke today at "the face to face with our future" event. said our future -- [ gasps ] [ laughter ] mitt romney won last night's utah republican's senate primary. romney celebrated by going to a victory party and turning the m

: good evening, i'm seth meyers.s is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump was in the milwaukee today to meet with his supporters. and after i read his remarks, i also needed some support from milwaukee. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] at a rally in north dakota last night, psident trump said that he wants his pick for the supreme court to stay on the court for 40 or 45 years. even more disturbing he added, "or until the end of my presidency. whichever comes first." [ laughter and applause ] according to the reports, forme new york cyor michael bloomberg is considerins a ential run in 2020, making him the richest person to seek the position. i said, making him the richest person to se the position! [ cheers and applause ] according to new research, artificial intelligeograms may eventually be susceptible td stressepression if they learn to think like a human being. [ light laughter ] and it is not easy

cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyerss and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump headed to the midwest today and left the white house without addressing the media, which reporters are calling an outrage and a snub and a relief. [ laughter ]

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight?heers and applause ] well, that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, move over gettysburg address. [ laughter ] after the president of iran issued a warning to president trump, trump posted an all caps tweet saying, quote, never ever threaten the united states again, or you will suffer consequences the likes of which few throughout history have ever suffered before. we are no longer a country that will stand for your demented words of violence and death. [ laughter ] be cautious. [ laughter ] all i can say is thank god we didn't elect a woman president. they're just too emotional. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] vice president mike pence today hosted a fundraiser for a republican representative in philadelphia, but he left as soon as he found out it's the city of brotherly love. [ laughter ] that's two sins. former trump campaign advisor carter page yesterday called accusations that he was a russian agent a ridiculous smear campaign. coincidentally a ridicul

it's like a three act play. [ laughter ] >> happiness is that i am on seth meyers' show. >> seth: withfred's back. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> seth: what is -- you're on a newer tour. what is the name of your new tour? >> "big underwear tour." >> seth: the "big underwear tour." [ laughter ] how do you come up -- how do you name your tour the "big underwear tour?" >> i was washing my clothes. [ laughter ] which i don't normally do. [ laughter ] but when you're on the road, you've got to do things. and i fold -- so i put them in the dryer. and then, i was folding them. and i took out the underwear. and i went, "jesus." [ laughter ] i did. it was an involuntary jesus. [ laughter ] like i go, "jesus!" and i'm looking around for someone to tell. and no one was there. i go, "are these mine! [ laughter ] are these mine? no!" 'cause you don't know how big your underwear on while you're -- are while you're putting them on -- i got ahead of myself. >> seth: yeah. >> but you don't know. and then i go, "my god." >> seth: yeah. >> and so i said, "i'm not -- i'm going to do it. i'm going to

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? eers and applause ] >> seth: that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump and north korean leader kim jong-un met tonight in singapore after we taped our show. so if you're watching this on tv right now, either it went well, or you have a tv in your fallout shelter. [ laughter ] you know what? [ applause ] if you do -- if you do and you're choosing to watch us, thank you. according to reports, north korean leader kim jong-un brought his own toilet to singapore for his summit with president trump to prevent intelligence agencies from using the sewer to get information on his health. [ laughter ] >> seth: said intelligence agencies, we're just going to go ahead and guess bad then? [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: nba hall of famer dennis rodman arrived in singapore today ahead of president trump's summit with north korean leader kim jong-un. he would have gotten there sooner, but you know, metal detectors. [ light laughter ] that's right, dennis rod

musgraves, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyersk, incredibly depressing. so just for us tonight, in the monologue, we're not going to mention the president.

head over to itunes to subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. nicio bryant, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] emmanuell caplette, thanks for a great week. 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening. this is "last call" coming to you from the cutting room in new york city. i'm carsony