bye-bye, shaqueffa. white girl never stood a chance. see you on the post-show. good night. [applause] >> stephen: hey, jeff. hi. >> stephen: thanks for being here, man. >> oh, my pleasure. what's wrong? (sighs) >> stephen: oh, nothing. you look-up set. >> stephen: it's just a major crisis. >> yeah? well, i'm an actor, you know. let me act like i'm helping. (laughter) lay it on me, man. >> stephen: i'm in a bit of a show business pickle. i'm not actually here tonight. >> where are you? >> stephen: i'm in l.a. the emmys were last night and i was nominated. >> oh! was i nominated? >> stephen: no. (bleep). >> stephen: what were we talking about? >> what were we talking about? >> stephen: me. you're not here? >> stephen: no. am i here? >> stephen: no. this is a pre-tape. you're in the past. >> when in the past? >> stephen: two weeks ago. oh. >> stephen: my question is, jeff, should i come back to do my show live in new york tonight, which involves me taking the red eye back from los angeles after the emmys, or should i just play a show i recorded two weeks ago? >> who was the gu