for instance, i looked in one a few years ago, and my wife, sharob, left me. after that, i started drinking, and it wasn't wrong before i was having sex with strangers behind the woolworth's. from there i moved into an abandoned rail car and started looking off cat meat. i joined a cult and the high priest forced me to marry him and he spent happy years canning beats for the end times. however. >> could never fully commit because i was still in love with sharon. so you see, kids, that's why you don't look directly at a solar eclipse. have fun. call me, sharon. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen's take on c.e.o.s jumping the trump ship. and stephen welcomes anthony scaramucci. and tiffany haddish. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: wooo! what's going on? hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: yeah, it's friday. it's friday. you're very kind. oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbe