"x-factor," simon cowell and britney spears. that has to be different for you. inate sometimes the fans boo. >> that's not how simon feels he feeds off that negative energy and makes people feel more powerful. >> they can be intimidating. we have up to $5,000 people. if you say no to jun -- >> jimmy: is it true you're considering a kardashian to be a part of the show? >> maybe. she's in the loop. >> jimmy: we're talking about khloe kardashian. >> khloe, yeah. >> jimmy: don't you think it's like throwing her into a lion's d ? /* den? >> i like the idea of live tv. things can go wrong. >> jimmy: things will gopherably wrong. >> we'll see. >> jimmy: can i make a suggestion? why is a kardashian on a talent show? isn't that what opposite what sold be happening on a talent show? you have one you can actually host. >> we will have two. >> jimmy: make them both kardashians if you do that. you'll have two hosts. if you really want to go for it. if you want a train wreck on your hands -- >> i think you want a train wreck. you all like a train wreck. >> jimmy: didn't we lea

their names are simon cowell and britney spears. eir show, "the x factor," premiered tonight on fox. i have a lot to ask about. there's rumors simon will hire khloe kardashian to be the coast of the show. i'm going to -- no, that's not happening. not on my watch. i don't wear a watch, but it's not happening on it if i did. we're going to play the newly wed game with simon and britney to see how much they know about each other, so, stay up a little bit late for that. are you familiar with the restaurant mcdonald's? the big m? they've announced starting next week they'll post calorie counts for all their menu items on the menu. i don't know if that's -- i feel like most people will see those numbers and think it's some kind of a contest for whoever eats the most calories wins a nine-piece mcnuggets or something like that? mcdonald's says they are doing it so customers can make more health conscious decisions when they eat. they are eating mcdonald's. how health conscious could they be in the first place? i mean, the mayor of their town

logist))((ad lib ((ad lib meteorologist)) 3 weather kid tease it's a new side of simon cowell. ."iq: well, i'm always nes nervouswhat got tte judge ccoked up about tonight's x factor premiere. premiere.and... we're embracing autumn with a taste of fall.we show you how to make a surprising dish with beets... next. you're [ male announcer ] the magic of nature blooms in every seed, in deep red apples and in each golden bead. it blends into a perfect crunch you'll savor, giving us the most perfect lesson in flavor. nature valley, nature at its most delicious. crispy granola, layered with creamy peanut butter or rich dark chocolate flavor. 90 calories. 100% natural. and nature...approves. granola thins. from nature valley. nature at its most delicious. 3 get ready for the changing weather and enjoy a warm beet salad. mashaye barr from stratford is joining us live this morning with more. - what is warm beet salad? -how long does it take to prep?- how llng does it take to e prepared?-will this be featured at the farm to chef featured at the -will this be featured at the -will this be

with demi lovato and britney spears joining l-a reid and simon cowell at the judge'' table.able.x factor nats nats promos for the show have offered glimpses of spears... crushing the hooes and dreams of ome contestants during the early auditions.candace dold is out in hollywood this spears aad cowell.. and here's what they had to say: for the first time you are seeing what it's like to be a contestant on one of these shows . we've gone way back stage, so the contestants narrate the show anddit's evvrythiig i've always suspected. they all hate each other. they are not nice to each othhr... they are always competitive (as brittany laughs) oc: competive." competive."coming up later this hour.... we ask britney they look for in a contestant... and the performer simon's already got his eye on. on..ou can catch the season 2 premiere of "the x faator" tonight and tommorow night at 8... right here on fox45. 3 3 3 mapbelairfiber wilkensmap 3 3 think doing crunches is all you need.. to get rid of belly fat?or... lifting weightsswill make you look bulky?we separrte fitness fact from fi

then simon cowell and l.a. reid. okay. he's just intimidated by my responses. >> that's good. you give it right back to him. there was a lot of speculation that paula abdul, they would go because they were too boring and too easy as judges. do you have to try harder to be confrontational? are you trying to be confrontational at all? >> i'm not trying to be anything. when i sit on that panel and they ask for my opinion, i will be very honest. sometimes it may seem a little harsh, but i try to say it as nicely as possible. sometimes it does come off harsh just because it's brutally honest and they don't want to hear it. we're ultimately looking for someone to invest $5 million on. that's what the prize is. so if we're going to spend $5 million on somebody, they have to be ready to go. >> britney spears is also a huge fan of yours. she says she thinks you are, quote, cooler than she is and you inspire her to raise her game. that's pretty cool. she's a fan. >> yeah, that's crazy. i don't know why she thinks i'm cooler th

simon cowell and britney spears will be here tonight. bradshaw will hopefully show up. we'll have music -- i think he's cancelled on us the last three times in a row. yeah. music have the avett brothers, rita ora, slightly stoopid and dave matthews. so please join us for the shows next week. we'd appreciate it. our firsts guests tonight are the greatest cartoon geniuses/broadway musical impresarios -- maybe ever. they are the creators of the emmy-winning "south park" and the tony and grammy-winning "the book of mormon," now playing at the pantages theatre here in los angeles. please welcome trey parker and matt stone! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: with all your success, you haven't changed at all. how you doing? good to see you. congratulations on everything. it's been going great. >> yes. >> jimmy: yes, yes? the show is fantastic. and, i mean -- i guess when a show becomes super popular, it then goes on the road and you do it in various cities and not just new york. >> it's like having a baby. you give birth to this thing and it kee

simon cowell. britney spears. plus music from the avett brothers. rita ora. slightly stoopid.ventors of twix had a falling out, so the production of twix was divided between two separate factories. left twix factory cascades caramel and chocolate onto cookie, while right twix factory flows caramel and chocolate onto cookie. today they share nothing, but a wrapper and a driveway. try both and pick a side. bad news; men use soap that can really dry their skin. fear not. dove men+care is here. it's the bar with 1/4 moisturizing cream. so it cleans and leaves skin feeling moisturized. dove men+care. but between check-ups tartar builds. keep it clean with new listerine® ultraclean™. it's the only mouthwash with a new tartar control formula for a dentist clean feeling. ahhhhhhhh. [ male announcer ] new listerine® ultraclean™. power to your mouth™. want my recipe for healthier hair color? natural instincts! formulated with aloe, vitamin and antioxidants natural instincts has a system that's a healthier way to radiant color. indulge... with natural instincts. less guilt, more gorgeous

and what judge simon cowell says...for ii the next big star.you're watching fox 45 morning news.. all local.. all morning. ((brrak 7)) 3 ((break 7)) anncr: a good job. it's the key to a good life. but it isn't always easy to find one... a vote for question seven is a vote for maryland jobs. two thousand construction jobs to build a new resort casino. four thousand permanent jobs, paying... on average fifty five thousand a year. six thousand jobs from increased tourism... and table games like blackjack and poker. add it up: it's twelve thousand new maryland jobs. but to build it you have to vote for it. vote for question seven. and get maryland back to work. it's that time of the year.the singing competition, "the x factor" is back.season two premiered this week and peoppe are still talking about it this morning.candace is here with a wrap up of the auditions.this issso fresh.. so real.. the stories are told through the eyes of the contestantsthe talent s incredible.. from people you po one 13 year old..carly rose - girl

know the judges want to find a star...somebody with pipes and pizzaz.but i recently met up with simon cowelley spears and simon defined "the x factor" for me.simon says: you want the show to discover a star who outside of the competition ii going to be able to compete with the best and i think we've found that this yearyou can watch as the x factor continues next wednesday and thhrsday at 8pm here on fox45. i'm candace dold and that's your lowdown 3 the reason why some people in one state...ámayá kick president obama off the nooember ballot...after the break --adblib weather tz-- kknsas officials are considering a challenge to president obama's candidacy this november.......because of questions over where he was born.áthe state "objections board" is considering the issue.3 of the states top republicans sit on that board the president released his long-form birth certificate in april of 20-11.obama's mother and grandparents were born in kansas (take sot)montgomery says: "mr. obama's counsel points to invisible public records that demonstrate that mr. obama was allegedly born in hawaii, but th

x factor and why it could mean a change for simon cowell. >> but first, inspired by rg iii we'll show the new viral craze in honor of the redskins rookie. time now 8:39. we'll be right back. >>> he cherry blossoms one to left! -- he checks one to left, see you later! the nats are on top 3-2. >> there you go. pinch hitter tyler moore. >> who? >> folks you never heard of hitting home runs. >> coming through in the 7th inning with a home run off mets ace r.a. dickey. they are curt suzuki got the game winning hit. brice harper drove in another run with one of his four hits on the night. i think it's the first time he had four hits in a game this season. the nats win 5-3 and now have a 7.5 game lead over the braves who lost again last night. >> you have to have a strong bench in life. >> okay. >>> robert griffin iii is the talk of the town after sunday's big win down in the big easy, of course. he also has started apparently a new craze among skins fans reminiscent of course of tim tebow's signature move. check it it's called griffinnin and it refers to this pose right there which the qb m

and simon cowell on the 2 night x factor premiere.that continnes tonight at 8... fox45. still to come... a driver caught on camera... driving on the sidewalk. sidewalk.what was in the road that she was trying to avoid.. movee you're watching fox 45 good day baltimore. [ male announcer ] the magic of nature appears every day, within each strand of an oat's rhythmical sway. when an apple's vibrant red temptation, and honey's sweet touch of golden sensation, join together with a pecan crunch you'll savor, creating the most perfect lesson in flavor. ♪ nature's best-written recipe is ready for you to enjoy. nature valley, nature at its most delicious. now try our new crunchy dark chocolate peanut butter bar. ((bre((break 5)) ((ad lib meteorologist)) it's one of the cutest vvdeos we've ever seen. seen.in just 5 minutes.. we show you whht happens when these pandas get into a little squabble over food. food.crowd cheering nats natsand... a spiderman streaker... makes headlines at a high school football game. how he managed to get away. you''e watching fox 45 good day balt

simon cowell ...at the judge's . table.x factor nats natsppomos...for tte show ...have offered glimpses offspears... / crushing the hopes and dreams... of some cootestants ... puring the early auditions...///.candace dold... is... in hollywood this week.../ catching up with spears and cowell.. / and here'sswhat they had "iq: well, i'm always nervous candace before the show goes out..... oq: it's the best show we've ever made." made." catch the season 2 ...premiere ..of "the x factor" tonight and tomoorow... at 8--pm.../ right here on fox45. 3 it set the mark for the biggest gathering of people in their underwear...why these people were baring their "unnentionables" . 3 --adblib weather ♪ forz(power!) andiamo! andiamo! (let's go! let's go!) avanti! avanti! (keep going! keep going!) hahaha...hahahaha! you know ronny, folks who save hundreds of dollars by switching to geico sure are happy. and how happy are they jimmy? happier than christopher columbus with speedboats. that's happy! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or

reid and simon cowell at the judges table. >> i always know in the first day whoever we hire in two oree hours is going to be a what the hell have i done, right? one hour away from that. >> you can't destroy that song, sweetie. >> reporter: promos have offered glimpses of judge britney crushing hopes and dreams of some contestants during their first sessions. >> it was hard for me at first and then you gradually get used to it. >> it's hard because they all boo you. >> i want to know who let you on stage. >> you've got to have that good gut instinct and importantly straight way both of them were very happy to say no to people. i actually came off as a softy. i was saying yes to people and near looking at me like these people are never going to be stars and i'm kind of like yeah, you've got a point. >> reporter: what is spears looking for now that she's settled into her new role? >> i think it's the package. i want them to be able to perform. i want them to feel alive on stage and, of course, their voice has to be amazing as well. >> i've got a very good feeling about you. >> reporter:

and three years later i did "x-factor" with simon cowell. here i am.you know at that point that you were going to make it? when simon cowell gave you that huge boost of approval? >> i thought he was lying, to be honest. it was amazing. it's every guy's dream or anyone who applies for "x-factor's" dream. >> touring america. what was that like? >> it was a great journey. we did the whole of america in six weeks. it was great to tour and meet with their fans. all of them have been amazing. really good support for me. and they sung all my songs. it's been great. it's been brilliant. >> you have a lot of fans right here in this room. >> thank you very much for coming out. >> i this i they all want to hear you sing your smash hit, "heart skips a beat." take it away, guys. >> all right. thank you. ♪ my heart skips, skips, skips skips, skips, skips a beat ♪ >> come on. hey. thank you, "gma." ♪ i can see you're not yourself even when you're here with me ♪ ♪ i know that you're somewhere else ♪ ♪ so, put another record on kiss and leave me on ♪ ♪ nothing really m

this is simon cowell. who is it, l.a. reid? >> l.a.out this. i can't wait to watch this thing. >> i'm so excited. >> jimmy: it's gonna be fun. >> yeah, it's gonna be amazing. >> jimmy: now what is it like judging, and you're kind of being a mentor to young artists, because you're young yourself. >> yes. i am. i'm only 20, and sometimes i have to you know, critique people that are older than me. and i'm like, "i'm sorry, but, i really respect you sir, but --" >> jimmy: "i respect you, and i respect, like, your pipe and things on your elbows and stuff. you're very old. take your cane and go." >> yeah, so that's kind of difficult, but as the competition has been going and going, i've actually been able to really mentor people, and it's just such a gift to be able to do that for somebody when you know, i had people help me when i was growing up and it's just an amazing way to feel like you're giving back. >> jimmy: like, who are your mentors? >> my mentors -- my mom was one of my mentors. and she taught me how to sing. she was a country si

last week, simon cowell rescued nine people after their boat sank off the coast of france.imon cowell ] you call that a doggie paddle? you're not worthy of being eaten by a shark. [ laughter ] this is crazy. over the weekend, a chef in minnesota created the world's largest bacon cheeseburger, weighing in at over 2,000 pounds. yeah. and if you want to hear what it tasted like, you're just gonna have to wait until i interview chris christie. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] what? he's a mets fan! he's on our show. >> steve: he's an elected official. he's on your show. he's in your house. >> jimmy: he's in the house. my man! >> steve: why would you do that? forget about it! >> jimmy: oh! we love chris christie. finally, a strip club in canada is now offering help with college tuition for new employees. it'll be easy to spot those students at graduation, because they'll be the ones moving the one tassel to the other side, then two more tassels to the other side. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight.

tomorrow night simon cowell and britney spears.uncer ] pillsbury crescents on their own are wonderful ...but add some ham and cheese ...roll them up in some crescent dough and tada, thursday is now... a ham & cheese crescent roll-up wonder pillsbury crescents, let the making begin. can dodge a question. honey, how'd that test go? [ female announcer ] in just 60 seconds, you've got snack-defying, satisfying totino's pizza rolls. mmmm. mmm hmmm. mmmm. [ female announcer ] it's on. let's roll. are seeing the chevron refinery fire from the company's own surveillance camera. good evening. i'm carolyn johnson. >> and i'm larry beil in for dan ashley. at the city council meeting residents were told that chevron failed to follow their own safety guidelines. john alston was at the meeting and he joins us now. john. >> reporter: the safety board said the pipe that failed was there for decades and it had lost over time 80% of its thickness. as you said, the board says that chevron failed to follow its own guidelines for pipe inspection. in th

simon cowell also tweeted the news... calling it the "right decision."oin newcomer mariah carey, and one or two other judges who have yet to be chosen. coming up... an end-of-summer spike... in gas prices. prices.the reason yyu're paying more this week... at the pump.and when prices are expected to dip back down. we put a week's worth of bad odors in a home. some aerosols may just mix with them. can febreze really remove them? we asked real people what they thought. take a deep breath for me. describe the smell. it's very pleasant. fresh. some kind of flower maybe? remove the blindfold... awww, oh yuck! i didn't smell any of that! febreze air effects doesn't mix, it actually removes odors. [ laughs ] wow, that's incredible. just another way febreze helps you breathe happy. ((bump in)) 3 3 3&mapfiber wilkensmap295mapjimmy coming up... videe of a kiwi chick hatching... goes viral.what it's heard doing... when a oo worker whistles. 3&and in our hometown hotspot.. we sst sail on the open and what you can do to take - part in the weekend festivities.you're wa

. >>> simon cowell on why a new "x factor"/"the voice" war just erupted in star watch. >>> plus -- >>na's hair shocker, hours before tonight's vmas. >>> jennifer hudson's new tearful oprah sit-down with her sister. on their family's murders. >> why they're now telling all to lady o. >>> and -- behind the scenes of taylor swift's new ad, as her boyfriend's kennedy cousin gets confronted about their relationship. >> are you listening to any taylor swift songs these day? >> taylor and conor. madonna and jfk jr. the kennedys and hollywood through the years. >>> now from hollywood, "the insider" is on. >>> those kennedy star connections run deep. welcome to "the insider." i'm debbie matenopoulos in for kevin frazier. more from here in hollywood in a moment.

of the first to see it tonit tonightshe joins us live from gummans chinese theattr 3 3 in true simon cowellop. 3 it's been a very busy night here is hollywood. hollywood. first, the judges pressed their hands in the wet ceeent &phere at graumans chinese thea. theatre. then the judges and celebrities walked the teal cart parpet 3 use generic x factor video then the big event...the premiere of season 2 inside the theater.i actually met up with the judges earlier.i said simon, america s about to sse your show.. how are you feeling?in a rare move, the sharp tongue brit let his guard down and revealed his trueeemotions.sot: im always nervous candaae before thh show revealeddhis true emotions. "iq: well, i'm always nervous candace before the show goes out..... oq: it's the best show we've ever made." catcc the season 2 ...premiere ...of "the x factor" tonight and 8--pm.../ right here on fox45. 3 3 3 the amazing thing one person did... with a very inexpensive camera... in just 10 minutee on ox45 news at ten the orioles begin the stretch run...bruce cunningham has the latest...next...in sports unli

to poke fun at simon cowell. "i think we got it right, i really do.ve the perfect judging panel......probably improve on the 4th position... doing really, really well." well." "the... x factor"... continues tomorrow ...at... 8pm here on fox 45. 33 early ooioles highlights from seattle..and ad news for in sports unlimited lisa nagy, hookins nurse: (toward end) "is a testament tt how strong they are and how much they put into getting better everyday." everyday." the viral videoo.. created aa johns patients a littte lift...after the break break after an 8 inning marathonn that lasted almost six hours, the orioles and mariners are hoping foorquite a different evening..but the orioles hope one thing stays the same...a win tonight would give them a seattle..e sweep in seattle...- but king fflix had other ideas...looking for his 11th win, hernandez had it going in the third...here he rings up last nigbht's hero, taylor teagarden for the first out... ..moments later...he punches out endy chavez forrthe innings' second out...and he's not thru......about about

was a little nervous when she first sat down at the judge's table alongside reid, show creator, simon cowell fellow newcomer, britney spears. >> my first question i was like, i stuttered and didn't know what to say and it was super uncomfortable. i was nervous, but i had brittany there who was also, it was her first time being on a judge's panel and we had each other, so it was pretty cool. ♪ [ music ] >> already having a string of hits, her latest song, give your heart a break, is number one on the billboard single chart. >> very, very thankful and i still hear it on the radio. that's so weird. >> and while her job is to find and develop an undiscovered singer or group, demi had to train herself not to vote for hot guys just because of their looks. >> i start to pay more attention to the looks than i have to be careful with that, which is not good and not this competition. so i learned how to train myself like you're really cute, but you suck. >>

and later this week, simon cowell and britney spears will be here together.ere alone, and we'll have music from slightly stoopid and dave matthews band. that is this week on the show. for one special hour every week my bffs mix up a big pitcher of watermelon martinis and watch our next guest sing her little heart out. "glee" starts on thursday. please say hello to lea michele. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait a minute. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. >> what do you drink? >> jimmy: watermelon martinis. >> is this true? >> jimmy: no. >> you made it up. >> jimmy: it's a lie. it's one in a series of lies. >> watermelon, i was so excited. all right. >> jimmy: you know what, i try not to drink dur week. that's my deal. do you drink during the week? are you a drinker in general. >> we're italian so at the table there's pellegrino and red wine so i could never decipher between the two. >> jimmy: my family is italian as well. my grandfather would have a big jug of the world's cheapest wine and would sit on the floor and he would pour himself a glass of it every night.

show creator and fellow judge, simon cowell, confirms to tmz that previous reports of spears walking filming are true. spears had a panic attack. and told cowell i'm not sure i can do this. cowell gave her a pep talk to get her back. hopefully brits won't do it again. >> she should try skydiving. >> probably not. >>> it looks like olympic gold medalist ryan lochte is sticking to swimming pools, rather than hitting the hot tub. lochte didn't make the cut in his latest feat, the sprint from love on abc's hit show "the bachelor." according to reports, lochte is out of the running. "the bachelor" returns to abc in january. >>> and a lot of parents are happy to see that summer has now come to an end. and school has begun. perhaps this mother, though, a little too happy, perhaps more than others. take a look at this massachusetts mom, as she does a happy dance, as she's sending her sons off to their first day. yeah. look at her go. i mean, i suppose if you have kids, you know the feeling. but speaking of, what about the kids? are her sons embarrassed? >> did you see them run to that car? y

not the end of the road for simon cowell, doing all right. >> apparently. >> he had somebody come ined dating carmen electra. not sure what happened first. we all know carmen. >> here is the photo. if you look closely at the photo, it looks like he's into her. she may or may not be into him. hard to tell from that picture. apparently an onlooker at one of the restaurants were they were saw them making out. >> canoodling is a nicer way to say it, hoda. >> that's what they said. that would be an unusual couple, you think? >> i thought he was engaged. when did i miss that that he broke up with his fiance? the more interesting thing to me, he came and had this woman come to his home and heal his house. >> what is that? >> sounds like an exorcism, i suppose, without the spirituality. i don't know how it works, says because he is on remotes all the time and blackberry and iphone and e-mails and all of that, there was too much electric stuff in the air. >> can i say something? i think all the stuff and healing and energy? i mean, look, when i walk up to someone i immediately know if there's

simon cowell was wonderful. paula abdul was wonderful on the couch. dan rather has a funny bone.'m looking forward to giving you more of what you watch the show for. thank you so much, d.c. >> thank you. next time you're in d.c., it's a crime you haven't been here since season one launch. come back and see us. we love the show. >> allison, this is your invitation. come on. >> okay, i'll see you in the big city. thank you so much. wendy williams of course. here is a look at the new show starting monday, fourth season begins after our show at 10:00 a.m. and ricki lake returns to daytime with the ricki lake show at 11:00 a.m. and dr. oz is back for his fourth season, beginning at 4:00 p.m. monday here on fox 5. also we'll chat live with dr. oz monday for a preview of his new season. that's coming up later. >>> are you ready to rediscover adams morgan? this morning some of the top shops in the district are gearing up for this annual event. that's where you'll find fashion, food and fun all in one place, of course that's where you'll find holly morris. good morning, holly. ♪ >> report

simon cowell said the judges are getting more out of it than the contestants, it's really morphed into hire the best known celebrity but only if the celebrities know how to spot the talent. what's your take, paula? >> i find is very funny that simon is complaining that the judges get -- please. it's like come on. >> speaking of simon, simon was -- he's quoted as saying he thought it was mean that nbc scheduled a third night of our show. >> "the voice." >> against "the x-factor." >> paula's crying a fake tear. >> we're so mean. >> you're not fair. oh, boy, yeah. listen, it is a war out there with the oversaturation of these shows. i mean, i remember back when i was on "idol," the producers saying to simon it is not about the two of you judges and with randy. it's about the talent. and the truth of the matter is it's about everything. it's an entire puzzle to put together. you must have that raw untapped talent. >> yeah. >> it should be about the talent all together. >> all right. >> and you have to have the chemistry, as mentors and judges, and overall you have to just come together, an

tomorrow night, simon cowell and britney spears will be here together tomorrow night and we'll have musicght, speaking of slightly stoopid, terry bradshaw is going to be here and music from dave matthews band so please join us. also, i have some important ticket information for those who might want to see us live in brooklyn at the end of october. from october 29th through november 2nd we will broadcast from the briefly brooklyn academy of music so guillermo is helping to decide. you'll go through and help decide who gets to come to the show. if you want to be considered for tickets send guillermo a personal e-mail telling him why you would like to be a part of our studio audience in brooklyn, the more detail you go into, the better. send an e-mail title hit me up g atticalmeguillermo@yahoo!.com. include your name and contact information so we can get in touch. you have a right for your right to party with us in brooklyn. that is the slogan and should be a lot of fun. we'll see you there. [ cheers and applause ] after a long summer of giving no-nonsense advice to his gardener, mail pane a

of cake. [ laughter ] tonight britney spears made her debut as a judge on "the x factor" with simon cowelld applause ] -- i can't wait to see those tight outfits and low-cut tops. and also whatever britney spears is wearing, too. [ laughter ] but simon, with the -- with the "v" neck, it's getting lower and lower every year. thanks a lot. here's come campaign news. a recent poll found that most americans believe president obama would be a more loyal friend than mitt romney. or in other words, obama is the guy holding your hair back in the bathroom while romney uploads the drunk photos to facebook. [ laughter ] do you understand where i'm coming from? [ applause ] this is cool. a 17-year-old girl from new jersey has invented a portable heart monitor that can work with an iphone. big deal. when i was 17 i figured out a way to hold my calculator upside down so it said "boobs." [ laughter ] that's pretty funny. classic gag. >> the only boobs i've ever seen. >> jimmy: those are the only boobs you've ever seen? >> yep. >> jimmy: good for you, man. >> and i'm married. >> jimmy: check this out, you