i'm simon evans. tuesday's top stories. i'm simon evans . tonight i'm joined by two evans.onight i'm joined by two perfectly pleasant comedians. josh howie and leo curse. good evening. obviously a little bit of weariness there in the teleprompter room couldn't come up with anything. very funny. but you're all right, are you.7 >> but you're all right, are you? >> yeah. i'm fine. you've shaved your beard. >> yeah i have, yeah. yeah, i've got that. i've got frog chin syndrome, as we discussed. >> yeah. no, you look good. >> yeah. no, you look good. >> no, but it's only in the owner's eyes, isn't it? nobody else ever thinks when you shave off your beard in in the mirror , off your beard in in the mirror, you think to yourself, you now have the chin of a frog right? a frenchman? yeah. no, obviously weak chin. >> you know, josh has got the throat of a frog. >> yeah, you were fine. five minutes. i know, i know , it's minutes. i know, i know, it's something about the stress of coming out, getting nervous. >> it'sjust coming out, getting nervous. >> it's just freak me out. let's tak

i'm simon evans. we've got wednesday's newspapers upon which to play our game.joining me tonight we have two olympic comedy talents, gold medallist cressida wetton. and with suspiciously high testosterone for female steve n allen. have you been tested lately? >> well not for that, but other things. yeah >> got all the signs. the male balding pattern as well. to be honest, i'm amazed you think you can get away with it. anyway, congratulations. what was your gold medal in? >> oh, what was my gold medal? >> oh, what was my gold medal? >> you're gonna have to improvise now. >> i'm going to have to improvise something with a ribbon. i think that would be. >> i was going to say i love those. the floor exercises and the one where they throw that ball up in the air and catch it. it's more like circus, isn't it, than gymnastics. i'm all for that. i like all the ones where it's a completely artistic and subjective score. yes, well, i'm really bored where it's like a, you know , the our gold medal you know, the our gold medal swimming hope was in a was in a finish in which

i'm simon evans and tonight i'm joined by a man who eats only meat. that's louis schaefer and one of the finest dog trainers around. that's count dankula. how are you both.7 >> i'm good. thank you for asking. i eat only meat and i'm very healthy. except for today. i've eaten a lot of bad stuff, and i don't feel as good so. well. >> so n equals one, but still, it's worth knowing and count. how are you.7 >> how are you? >> i'm doing fine. >> i'm doing fine. >> how's your pug? >> how's your pug? >> he's doing great. is he? he's fine. he still does it. >> he does. excellent. have you. have you expanded his repertoire? can he do mussolini now as well? >> no, but we do actually have a black pug as well. and he does it whenever i say black power . it whenever i say black power. >> excellent. you can have a range of salutes to keep it fair. >> to keep it fair? >> to keep it fair? >> yeah. excellent. well, let's take a look at tomorrow's front pages. on this momentous day, we assume it's going to be momentous. the daily mail vote farage get them, i think it's

i'm simon evans.t we have the newspaper review show with comedy and insight. i'm joined by josh howie and providing the comedy and insight carrie marks i haven't been on with you for ages. i haven't been on with you for ages. i know, so that's all right. what a pleasure . a pleasure. >> look at this little lovey. my nephew. >> time is fair, josh, you do that. >> jealousy is painful. >> jealousy is painful. >> obviously some kind of weird spasm of self—loathing. >> i don't know, what can i say.7 >> i don't know, what can i say.7 >> self—deprecating. let's take a look at wednesday's front pages. the times kick us off long term. sick should be forced to seek work. not looking at anyone in the studio in particular daily mail. why was jihad preacher freed to spout hate .7 that will be covered hate? that will be covered shortly? the telegraph gp's threat to see fewer patients in pay threat to see fewer patients in pay row and the guardian. we will win this election, harris tells democrats the express. bbc c

i'm your host, simon evans. joining me tonight we have just stop oil alumna chris had a guest.sorry. it's a cressida wetton. and just stop the boats enthusiast leo kearse . enthusiast leo kearse. >> what will get stopped first i wonder as my mum used to say ambush in the other. >> anyway how are you both.7 are you all right. yeah. >> happy not to be in prison. >> happy not to be in prison. >> yeah absolutely. >> yeah absolutely. >> so it's good you're one of the more fortunate cressida's am. >> and maybe now people will be able to say it, pronounce it. >> do you think you'll become a meaningful demographic? it'll probably become one of those shorthands, like a karen or something. >> oh , god, let's have a look at >> oh, god, let's have a look at our front pages. obviously, we're all sleeping with the hangover of last night's shock announcement. now labour opens door to giving asylum to 70,000. thatis door to giving asylum to 70,000. that is the daily mail, the rest of the papers are mostly america focused. senior democrats throw weight behind harris to take on trump. that's the

i'm still simon evans. still here with leo kearse and josh howie.e are going to try and focus on some other news now. and monday's mail. josh have labour attempting to look tough on crime or at least on the hardened criminals of just stop oil. >> yeah, it's tough leaving the west wing behind without i know, let's do it in 25 and just the wilds. >> it's like disappointing scrawny old scrap back in britain again. >> the west wing gluing themselves to the m25. >> anyway . >> anyway. >> anyway. >> well, top mps back five year jail term given to just stop oil m25 plotters. so this is been dragging on. the debate has kind of continued online. it's continued in the press and it's just how stupid or disingenuous do you have to be to pretend this has got anything to do with free speech, anything to do with the right to protest? they broke the right to protest? they broke the law . and when they're the law. and when they're talking here about because it's like the longest sentence ever for a non—violent protest, well , for a non—violent protest, well, violenc

simon evans.ht i'm joined by a pair of jolly good eggs. we have josh howie and steve and alan. >> i don't know why they're referring to as eggs, i think. >> well, you're an egg as well. three. three eggs, i suppose that's the idea. >> i'm offended. yeah at least a microaggression. >> i think that might be a medium sized one, to be honest. >> air. >> air. >> hello. >> hello. >> that's straight on it. >> that's straight on it. >> right. let's have a look at our front pages . our front pages. microaggressions is inside the papers tonight. but on the front pages we have wimbledon, of course, and britain's forges. sorry, force's not ready for conflict of any scale. that doesn't sound good. the telegraph, royal mail blamed for postal vote chaos . the guardian postal vote chaos. the guardian labour would take global lead on climate. that's miliband ed or dave doesn't say i. news, labour faces up to prospect of far right neighbour in france with early talks and the times. starmer, a big majority would be

i'm simon evans, and i'm here with josh howie and nick dixon. we have the guardian now, josh.to. no one's great surprise, it's the owner. there is no money. moment from the new chancellor. yeah, well, they weren't left note. >> so this is what they're having to do. instead, rachel reeves requests urgent assessment of spending inheritance, this is they're just going to go through all the go through the books. it's one way of avoiding, anybody saying it's their fault. i think people are mature enough to go. you know, they've inherited a bit of a mess, but they. but also the motto seems to be of the late of laboun motto seems to be of the late of labour, of like. no, the problem , labour, of like. no, the problem, admit the problem, to then be able to fix it apart when it comes to islamists. so, before they can make any commitments they can make any commitments they really want, they, they did say here that they wanted to, i want to make clear to the treasury officials that the manifesto commitments that we were elected on, and i'd go, well, you weren't really elected on any mani

blank, staring face farage facing a war attrition from the and welcome back to headliners with me, simon evanse and alan and nicholas de santo. steve, the independent anticipate keir starmer's meeting with whoever is operating joe biden at the nato summit . yeah. summit. yeah. >> starmer to hold first meeting with biden at nato summit as pm promises new air defences for ukraine. i was thinking when you are so new to the job of pm of a small little place like the uk, and you meet the president of america, you must be thinking like, oh, he probably didn't even know who i am. but these days, if that happens, it's going to make joe look bad. yeah, he's got to call him sonny through the whole thing. yeah. chief, come over here and in the footage. actually, we've shown it a few times in the news. it's amazing how short sir keir starmer is. i bumped into him in edinburgh when i was up there doing it, when we were up there doing it, when we were up there doing a show. yeah, and i was surprised at how short he was. i didn't mention it because it would have stopped all of those jokes about rishi being s

their live shows and other performance all over the uk, and we're back tomorrow at 11 pm. with simon evansicholas de santos. and if you're watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast. good night. >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on gb news >> hello. welcome back to the latest forecast from the met office for gb news. cloudy and damp in the north during the next 24 hours. drier further south still with some showers however, and it's going to stay humid across southern parts of the uk , with humid air from the the uk, with humid air from the continent extending across many parts. but that means also a lot of cloud cover. continued risk of cloud cover. continued risk of thunderstorms for the evening across east wales into the midlands and northwest england before they ease overnight and continued outbreaks of persistent rain for many other parts across scotland and northern ireland. further south, although it stays cloudy overnight , it will be although it stays cloudy overnight, it will be drier and it will be a mild night, muggy in some spots. 15 or 16 celsiu

. >> simon evans described it as chucking kindling on a fire.s, you get this flurry of, of economic activity. but it's short term. you're not addressing the structural issues. the underlying your country and you're also opening up a huge number of problems and fuelling inflation and depressing wages. so it's by no means a good way to grow the economy. but coming up, we will assess the week's winners and losers in cursed or blessed this week, joe biden says he's a black woman, a norwegian minister bares all. and as always, we'll discuss the death of the west. plus, we'll show you what happened next. when this man with a pram walked past a pub. stay tuned see what happened to him. >> ethan. oh, mike, what's your secret? >> welcome back to the saturday night showdown. castor blast is coming up. but first, i promised i would show you what happened when a man with a pram walked past a pub. he said , oh, mike, past a pub. he said, oh, mike, what's your secret, mike? >> well, hey . >> well, hey. >> well, hey. >> oh, he's got a lot of chill. that's like

simon evans question. no one else. what are you talking about?ke the eton steps picture. i don't want to live in a world where people don't have a world where people don't have a chance. there's nothing wrong with. >> oh, so you don't. >> you don't want to go back to britain when it was actually green? >> no, no. >> no, no. >> you want to live in a soviet union state satellite state? >> yes. why don't you? you've outed me. >> why don't you move to. i was going to say move to france. why don't you stay in britain? >> well, a couple of things. it's the left that got rid of grammar schools, right? and they got rid of social mobility. so that's what it's really about. they're going to tax private schools. they hate meritocracy. and the elite will still survive. i mean, it will be the children of rachel reeves and so on. that will be the new elite, you know, and also the elite never goes away. it's just now we have the woke ivy league that's still there. you know what i mean? >> absolutely, absolutely. and we've got the independent now with landlords

simon evans will be here tomorrow at 11 pm. with steve n allen and josh howie.uned for breakfast. goodbye fun show a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on gb news >> good evening and welcome to your gb news weather update brought to you by the met office. well, a changeable week ahead with some rain and showers. plenty of dry weather around too though . for today around too though. for today though, we've got a frontal system clearing its way southeastwards, allowing a ridge of high pressure to build, bringing a fairly settled evening notice. the winds coming from a north westerly direction though, meaning things are going to be feeling a little bit cooler. a change on the way into this evening though, as we see outbreaks of rain move their way into western and northwestern parts of the uk. but on the whole, overnight plenty of dry weather around a mix of cloud and clear spells . and under and clear spells. and under those clear spells it will feel a little bit cooler. but most towns and cities remaining in the double digits an unsettled pictur

. >> i'm simon evans, joining me tonight to add their unique spin tonight to add their unique spin toomorrow's newspapers are the thinking woman's crumpet , thinking woman's crumpet, stephen allen and the man who likes crumpets. that's nick dixon. does that mean? well, i think they're calling you fat, aren't they? but actually, i'm actually slimmer than reasonable. >> you know, many of the panellists, i don't know. >> do you, like, do you like crumpets? >> not really. i haven't eaten them in years. do you have, like, a copy of like a prayer book with butter drips onto the page? it's just a fragile. but i'm not that fat. oh, so it doesn't make sense. well you didn't take it personally. i am a conduit for the. oh, yeah? it's not you that that will stand up in court. let's have a look at thursday's front pages. i'm willing to take credit for these. how will these new burdens on growth help firms? that's the daily mail asking about the king's speech. the times pm seeks deal with europe on migrants . times pm seeks deal with europe on migrants. the times pm seeks deal with europe on migran

thanks ever so much to my guests kerry marx and josh howie simon evans will be here tomorrow at 11:00 nick dixon. and if you're watching the 5 am, repeat, then please stay tuned, because now it's time for breakfast. >> a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on gb news >> hello. good evening. welcome to your latest gb news. weather update wednesday is going to be a much sunnier day and a drier day for most of us. it's also going to be feeling considerably warmer for this evening, though we've still got low pressure in charge across eastern areas, so still some heavy rain to come through some parts of this evening. but behind it, a ridge of high pressure will bring clearer skies for western areas and then more widely through the night across to the east. once those showers clear away into the north sea. so a dry night to come for most of us, we could see the odd shower moving in across northern areas of scotland, but clear skies mean the temperatures will fall away a little lower than they have done last night. so temperatures around 12 or 13 degrees at first thing. but

analysis that stuff on simon's in washington dc. quickbook now it's some other stories making use around the world. of course, in russia has sentence wall street journal reports, the evan gaskets to 16 years in prison. the close though proceedings found him guilty on charges of working with us intelligence to monitor a russian factory, making tanks for the war and ukraine. his newspaper and the white house denied the charges, a regular dash as governments has imposed a nationwide costs you and deployed the army. often, the days of student protests that have left doesn't instead, what's ortiz in the capital jack of the api sense of the violence have also bind or public gatherings? protesters have been marching for weeks to demand changes to the quotes, the system for government jobs. the united nations top court has ruled as israel settlements in the palestinian territories violates international law and must be abandoned. the court found that as well as occupation amounted to an exception and that palestinians was systematically discriminated against in the occupied territories. the advisory opinion is non binding, but comes as pressure grows on as well, of the war in

i'm carter evans in jasper, where so much is in ashes, but the critical infrastructure -- and this is key -- it's still here. >>> smoke spreading coast-to-coast. >>> at the olympics, simone biles soars once again as team usa wins its first gold. >>> and later, the art of protest. how tommie smith's raised fist once condemned is still inspiring five decades later. >> my chance to make a world stand on something that i really believed in. >> announcer: this is the "cbs weekend news" from new york with jericka duncan. >>> good evening and thank you so much for joining us this sunday. it's only been one week since the historic shake up of campaign 2024, and what appeared like a possible rout is now a race. since vice president kamala harris seized the democrat spotlight, she's received a tsunami of grassroots support and cash. two-thirds of it from first-time donors. at the same time, former president donald trump, who rallied supporters in tennessee and minnesota this weekend is carving out new lines of attack in a re-shaped campaign. cbs' skyler henry leads us off tonight from the white house. skyler, good evening to you. >> hey, jericka, good evening to you. the harris ca

evans againstjapan. while rafael nadal makes his singles return, which could set up a second—round match with rival novak djokovic. global gymnastics star simoneg today. the most decorated gymnast in history had a difficult time in tokyo in 2020 but is back to her best and hoping to add to her 37 olympic and world golds. and if you like star spotting then you will love the gymnastics venue in paris today — it is a veritable who's—who of celebrities. mission impossible and top gun star tom cruise is there, as are the wicked musical actors ariana grande and cynthia erivo. anna wintour, editor in chief of british vogue, is also there, as well as snoop doggy dogg to cheer on simone biles and i'm sure all the other gymnasts competing today too. as i mentioned, it was a busy night in the pool over at la defense arena to the west of paris last night, which is hosting the swimming events. it was gold for the usa in the men's axioo relay, whilst australia took the top podium with an olympic record for the women. there was also a gold for australia in the women's 400 metre freestyle, and germany's lukas maertens took the gold in the men's race. there we