and joining me three top comedians me, simon evans and joininginie three top comedians me, simonans and joiningin talks to end telegraph rayner in talks to end thatcher's right to buy. and thatis thatcher's right to buy. and that is james bond kissing his wife and i news grenfell guilty must now be prosecuted urge mps and survivors . finally the daily and survivors. finally the daily star. mafia mobsters turned their backs on italy and america moved to leafy woking. the headuneis moved to leafy woking. the headline is badda bing, those were your front pages . so let's were your front pages. so let's have a closer look. we'll start with wednesday's guardian . josh. with wednesday's guardian. josh. >> yeah, this is obviously a tragedy. six children among 12 dead after a boat ripped open in the channel. there's also a pregnant woman as well who died , pregnant woman as well who died, andifs pregnant woman as well who died, and it's frustrating the way the guardian is framing it as, like, calls for legal routes to halt the shockingly high. like, that's the reason for it. that's not t

i'm simon evans . aspect of our credentials. i'm simon evans. tonight we have on two coffees josh howie and for hot chocolate's jojo sutherland i'm addicted to them. >> are you.7 oh, i'm addicted to them. >> are you? oh, i love the ones from the machine. yeah, they're great. it's funny how a little perk can make all the difference. i think i am on my fourth here late at night under strip lighting. it's a dystopian environment in many ways, but a hot chocolate will get you through everything. excellent. let's take a look at those front pages. we have the telegraph light at the end of the tunnel. pm tells britain and the notorious donor. pm tells britain and the notorious donor . they're notorious donor. they're striding in the union boss says we'll seize control of the uk economy on the front page of the daily mail. same picture. guardian pm vows to end gloom as labour seeks to lift spending restrictions. and an illustration of hezbollah taking one on the chin. sun nick's strictly s.o.s. i'm not sure what that story is about. that's a recent arri

your first look at thursday's top stories with three comedians me, simon evans and joining me tonight, chris whitten, and hanging out with her old china. paul cox. how are you? >> oh, china. >> oh, china. >> ladies and gentlemen, you're looking very bank manager. >> i am today. >> i am today. >> i am today. >> i mean, i want dapper , but i >> i mean, i want dapper, but i think i do look like i could refuse a loan , but possibly to refuse a loan, but possibly to cressida. >> yes. >> yes. >> despite her feminine wiles. yeah there we go. there's the plot. sorted. anyway, let's take a look at the front pages. we have the telegraph kicking us off. new phase of middle east war. after walkie talkie blitz. i'm sure they were pages, but maybe we'll be able to dig into that later. the mail labour has undermined israel, that later. the mail labour has undermined israel , says undermined israel, says netanyahu. that's an unfortunate metaphor , given the hamas pros. metaphor, given the hamas pros. the express walkie talkie blasts in second wave of attacks. i news rogue landlord mp founded nursery

i'm simon evans , i've got kerry i'm simon evans, i've got kerry marks and nick dixon with me times kerrymp and taylor swift are never, ever getting back together again after this. i suspect. >> well, this is just more trump harris debate, isn't it? and taylor swift, chose a side after the debate, which i don't know why she didn't already know what she was she was about because i think most people could have predicted it. kerry. is that what it was? so, yeah. i mean, look, when someone endorsed famous people endorse, i get why it's famous endorsements. celebrity endorsements are a thing, but i don't really get why anyone cares whatsoever. what taylor swift has to think anyway. she writes songs about ex—boyfriends and people like them. very good. but that doesn't make her a political expert, or anyone who should have any kind of sway in her debate. this is important, but okay, that happens, she says. i'm voting for harris because she fights for rights and causes i believe need a warrior , that i believe need a warrior, that we need a warrior to champion champion them. i'm not sure , champi

haha. myself, simon evans, joined by pan and ash. haha.hink it's supposed to be an insult, but i'm not sure it quite landed, did it? never mind. i don't even know what it means. tuesday's telegraph. well, i suppose an ash pan is what you clear out the fire with, isn't it? it is. >> but why am i? am i pan or ash?i >> but why am i? am i pan or ash? i don't know. >> i don't know, pan. let's not overthink it. tuesday's telegraph to start this section. it sounds like robert jenrick has got the immigration bit between his teeth. >> well, as pan, i shall answer that. it's his migrant crime rate being covered up. says robert jenrick. this, of course, the tory conference is going on. and so the leadership challenge is all happening and we're seeing different, contenders showing off about how many people in their queues and so on for their various speeches and the main ticket we've seen from some and particularly with robert jenrick is on the migration issue. so what he's asking for is he says the public deserve to know the truth about crime committ

i'm simon evans, here with josh howie and kerry marx. and we have kerry to begin with.e telegraph. now, angela flipping council houses for me, but not for me . but not for me. >> are you getting one? >> are you getting one? >> no. >> no. >> i thought you were going to call it angela rayner. i was like, angela flipping has done it again. >> that's as far as you're allowed to go on this programme, is it? >> she has. >> she has. >> she has flipped her own. i believe, at some point. >> and she did flip her own. she's so these are talks to aboush she's so these are talks to abolish the. you can read into it as you will to abolish the right to buy, which of course has been around since 1980s, when margaret thatcher brought it in to promote home ownership. there is a question of whether it was one of those good ideas, like blair's idea of getting half the country into education, and whether that kind of blew back on itself and meant that, in fact, those people end up without jobs. and what's happened with the right to buy? of course, it's kind of backfired in the fact that, ba

. >> i'm simon evans on my panel tonight. >> one hails from the land of fried mars bars. the other swears by raw meat. >> leo kearse and louis schaefer. the battle of the diets. >> it's actually a delicious way to eat mars bars. why you should never do. i went on a diet once and started steaming my mars bars. it's terrible . bars. it's terrible. >> you don't have to have them heated at all. >> you do know that, right .7 >> you do know that, right.7 well, if you say so. how can steaming them? sounds a bit gwyneth paltrow. go on. how could it not be delicious? >> it's a candy bar wrapped in breading. of course it's going to be delicious. it's pure sugan to be delicious. it's pure sugar, but it's not good for you. i mean, you manage to hold your looks for i had i did the edinburgh fringe this year and i have a ritual now at the end of every festival i go for the full from the one on on nicholson street, right? >> yeah. with the salt and sauce and the big spicy sausage and everything. i have the same ritual, but i call it dinnertime. yeah, well, you're neck and neck for healt

i'm simon evans with me tonight from two opposite ends of one of the spectrums.ay which one. stephen allen and neo curse. now we kick off with the telegraph and labour have a toxic, underachieving criminal voter base and they've also just released some prisoners. >> i am an excellent driver, in case that was the inference, i'm a lifelong labour voter now. prisoners praise starmer after early release. i mean, the one inmate says it was a good idea introducing the scheme on one hand, of course they would. you know, someone releases you from prison other than the people who are homeless. they're going to be in favour of this. they're getting home a bit early. if you if you're shocked by that, you don't understand people. but the way the telegraph writes this, they are implying a few things. there's a bit of poop stirring going on here, isn't it? like, what are you saying? like i bet labour only did this to get more voters, which is ridiculous. no one's going to do this to get more voters. the greatest distance between now and an election, a hugely unpopular other th

your first look at thursday's newspapers with me, simon evans, christopher witton and paul cox.es now paul and an end to the train strikes, which have been such a devastating inconvenience to the 3% of people who still leave their house to go to work in the morning. good point. train drivers accept 15% pay deal ending two years of strikes. i don't think there was any negotiation involved. i think they just went, how much do you want? but anyway, drivers at 16 train operating companies voted 97% in favour of the settlement, with a turnout of 89%. this is according to aslef , and the according to aslef, and the three year deal is worth nine k to most drivers. that's a lot of money, isn't it? over three years and will boost the average salary from what i believe was 64,000 to £73,000. as an average for a train driver, and they will receive , it goes on to say will receive, it goes on to say sort of 5% year one, 4.75% next yean sort of 5% year one, 4.75% next year, and so on and so forth. and this will also be backdated and added to their pension. so it's a very, very good deal. and

i'm simon evans. monday's newspapers. i'm simon evans . joining me tonight we evans. joining me tonight we have one man comedy drama lewis schaffer and someone to feed him his lines when he forgets them. that's nick dixon . that's the that's nick dixon. that's the dynamic we're working with this evening . evening. >> i'm a lot more than that. >> i'm a lot more than that. >> i'm a lot more than that. >> i think you are, too. yeah, yeah, i'm too low to get credit for . you're no longer a comedy for. you're no longer a comedy drama. you're like a gritty narrative these days. >> a gritty, gritty narrative. yeah like with his gunshots and dirt. yeah. >> you know, and proper, like all night studying the green screens and picking the threads that the presidential conspiracy has attempted to keep concealed. >> i just want to , just for full >> i just want to, just for full disclosure of all my opinions and jokes are donated by lord alli. >> are they? >> are they? >> yeah. just sort of . have you >> yeah. just sort of. have you also been put up in his penthouse? of course. >>

i'm simon evans. tonight we have paul cox, the people's gammon of course, and kerry marx, the people's mohamed al fayed. >> how the hell did that happen? who wrote that? what on earth inspired someone to write that? >> it's your yacht. where? i guess. i think that might be it. anyway, how are you both? you're well? good, good. thank you. >> i wouldn't mind if you went with the harrods rather than to acknowledge the gift of a tie. >> so this tie. i was once again being sent a lovely gift. this time it was gifted to me at one of my. my comedy clubs that are run by chris and louise. it's saint piggies. now, louise went into labour this week, and i know they've had a bit of a troubled week, so i my understanding is they're both doing okay and i just wanted to wish them well. thanks ever so much for the gift. thank you guys for what it's worth, i was a very hard labour. apparently and look how i turned out. yeah, exactly. let's take a look at our front pages. we have the guardian leading us off to labour i

it's like simon evans is on it's like 19th century literature.ke red dwarf, which is probably like something that people might have seen. some of our viewers will have seen it go on. >> but i was getting to that point. i was saying that this is this is timed out to 2074. yeah. it's not going to be the country, the people , you know, country, the people, you know, people who are watching this out there, don't worry about the nhs. you're going to be everyone's going to be dead or you're going to be like louis schaefer, you're going to be amazing. you're going to save your dementia. >> just have dementia. so you're out of it. >> we've got the express now, and sadiq khan wants priority housing to go to prisoners. released by keir starmer. i suppose it's better than the existing system where literal hamas terror chiefs are given priority. louis. >> yeah, well, this is this is those are those are the same people . yeah. prisoners anyway. people. yeah. prisoners anyway. nigel farage hits out at sadiq khan's calls for call, calls for prisoners to, quote,

we are back tomorrow at 11:00 pm with simon evans.ting together to do it. if you're watching at five, stay tuned. breakfast is on the way next until the next one. have a good one. that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on gb news. >> hello there. good evening. some of us certainly entered astronomical summer with a bang. we've seen a few thunderstorms around across southern areas today , and there's the today, and there's the continuing chance that we see a few of those pushing across central into parts of wales might clip into the far south of northern ireland as we head throughout the evening. we then got a second pulse of thundery rain pushing its way into the far south of england. as we head towards dawn on sunday morning . towards dawn on sunday morning. quite muggy and humid in amongst all of this as well. temperatures not dropping too far at all, but it will be chillier for the northwest of scotland. underneath the clearer skies here might see a touch of frost in some very sheltered areas. and for scotla

we'll see you and welcome back to headliners with me, simon evans. im paul cox, then kerry marx . cox, then kerry marx. we start with the express. you've been non—binary kerry. i noticed that i don't write the rules . we i don't write the rules. we start with the express and unwilling to be outdone, despite not enjoying many perks, ed miliband has found another way to alienate voters. >> kerry. he has indeed. yeah. so ed miliband , who's, on a so ed miliband, who's, on a mission, this is how he describes himself. he's a clean energy superpower mission that he's on, he only needs a cape . he's on, he only needs a cape. really? and people are going off the boil. i might say, about this new idea of attacks. he's not actually a new idea of attacks. it's attacks that the tories try to bring in and realised it wasn't going to work. it kind of came and went very fast. yeah, it's described here. it says more ed miliband madness as labour revives hated boiler attacks. now that's not the name of the tax. it's not called the hated boiler tax. otherwise they may as well call it that. >> bit l

and does the times have an explanation for simon's evans? huge follower? ion to social media growing fast among teenage girls. and so they've all sort of followed simon because he of his articles and he's well, he's a silver fox. silver fox. yeah. but book recommendations and whatnot . and, yeah, this is it's whatnot. and, yeah, this is it's quite interesting that actually, but even more so in scotland for some reason. and that might tie in again to because the scottish there's scotland, there's terrible weather. so they're staying inside more. yes. and they're all addicted to social media. and then they eat all the mars bars, the deep fried. i didn't read that. >> they do other things in scotland. you know they had do they. yeah. and i tell you what, leo, leo gets really angry about these stereotypes. yeah, that's why i'm doing it. >> because he's not here. yeah, right. >> steve, what do you make of this story, >> you know, worrying. it is worrying because young people get addicted to this stuff a lot. they tested 11 year olds, 13 year olds and 15 year old

we're back tomorrow by the way, at 11:00 with simon evans, steve n allen and leo kearse.e hosting tomorrow. is that not right or lewis when are you back on lewis i don't know thursday wednesday wednesday is it wednesday. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> well make sure you follow lewis schaffer. send him some compliments and check out when he is hosting. >> very bad. i want to apologise. i should apologise. and even to josh who's gotten better and better. >> okay. well, look, that's all that's all we've got time for. thank you for watching very much. thanks for putting up with lewis schaffer's bizarre comments. and by the way, if you are watching the 5 am. repeat right now, do stay tuned because right now, do stay tuned because right now, do stay tuned because right now it's time for breakfast. yeah >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on gb news >> hello and welcome to the latest update from the met office for gb news. some clear spells overnight and a cool night compared with recent nights, but it is turning increasingly unsettled towards the north of th

simon evans will be here tomorrow with leo kearse and lewis schaffer. on the way next until the next one. have yourself a good one. that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on gb. >> news . >> news. >> news. >> hello there! welcome to our latest gb news weather forecast from the met office. it stays unsettled over the next 24 hours or so. the risk of heavy showers and thunderstorms staying rather cloudy and particularly humid as well. low pressure in charge of our weather pattern at the moment. slow moving areas of rain across the country. however, this area of high pressure just starts to introduce some fresher air as we move through into the beginning of next week. this evening time , of next week. this evening time, we do have areas of showers and thunderstorms pushing north across england and wales into southern parts of scotland. band of rain also starts to move in from the atlantic to affect parts of northern ireland. humid tonight , parts of northern ireland. humid tonight, warm as well with a lot of cloud cover. temperature

i'm simon evans.mohamed al fayed. >> how the hell did that happen? who wrote that? what on earth inspired someone to write that? >> it's your yacht. where? i guess. i think that might be it. anyway, how are you both? you're well? good, good. thank you. >> i wouldn't mind if you went with the harrods rather than to acknowledge the gift of a tie. >> so this tie. i was once again being

i'm simon evans.mohamed al fayed. >> how the hell did that happen? who wrote that? what on earth inspired someone to write that? >> it's your yacht. where? i guess. i think that might be it. anyway, how are you both? you're well? good, good. thank you. >> i wouldn't mind if you went with the harrods rather than to acknowledge the gift of a tie. >> so this tie. i was once again being sent a lovely gift. this time it was gifted to me at one of my. my comedy clubs that are run by chris and louise. it's saint piggies. now, louise went into labour this week, and i know they've had a bit of a troubled week, so i my understanding is they're both doing okay and i just wanted to wish them well. thanks ever so much for the gift. thank you guys for what it's worth, i was a very hard labour. apparently and look how i turned out. yeah, exactly. let's take a look at our front pages. we have the guardian leading us off to labour investigate £600 million covid contracts given under the tories guardian, desperately tr

your first look at thursday's top stories with three comedians me, simon evans and joining me tonight>> oh, china. >> oh, china. >> ladies and gentlemen, you're looking very bank manager. >> i am today. >> i am today. >> i am today. >> i mean, i want dapper , but i >> i mean, i want dapper, but i think i do look like i could refuse a loan , but possibly to refuse a loan, but possibly to cressida. >> yes. >> yes. >> despite her feminine wiles. yeah there we go. there's the plot. sorted. anyway, let's take a look at the front pages. we have the telegraph kicking us off. new phase of middle east war. after walkie talkie blitz. i'm sure they were pages, but maybe we'll be able to dig into that later. the mail labour has undermined israel, that later. the mail labour has undermined israel , says undermined israel, says netanyahu. that's an unfortunate metaphor , given the hamas pros. metaphor, given the hamas pros. the express walkie talkie blasts in second wave of attacks. i news rogue landlord mp founded