i might have smoked weed before i started this story -- ( laughter ) the point is, there's a sliewfntlet least japan is trying to fix the problem. i think we should be trying, too. before the weed wears off, here's some ideas. number one, the color white reflects sunlight away from the earth. from now on when the sun is at its hottest, all the white people you go outside, all right? and then you bend the sunlight back to the sun! then all black people will just stay inside and you can tell us how it went. ( laughter ) another idea, sea levels are rising. we've got to stop that. one day a year, everyone on weather go to the beach and drink a giant cup of seawater. don't tell me that's gross. if people can drink combucca, you think drink seawater. we have to keep the iceberg from melting. give every iceberg a desk job because american offices always have the air conditioning on way too high, nothing can melt in there! ( cheers and applause ) even the iceberg will be, like, does anyone have a jacket i can borrow? i'm freezing my nuts off in here. ( laughter ) we could also try and regulate