[ laughter ] >> jimmy: she only knows you as snooki. >> only knew me as snooki.jimmy: hi, snooki. >> there she is. yay! whee! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: snooki is fun. man, you -- that was great. you went on "weekend update with seth meyers" doing snooki. and i remember, it was all over the place on the internet the next day, and it was just giant. >> yeah, that was nice. >> jimmy: it was a well done bit. >> i turned 33 at midnight, painted orange. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] that night. >> yep. >> jimmy: that night was it. well, we have a clip of you doing snooki with seth. here's bobby moynihan doing snooki. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> are you okay? >> is that cough medicine? >> it's cough medicine. >> are you okay, snooki? >> yeah, you know, i'm okay. you know what, seth? we're friends now, so you don't have to call me snooki. you can call me garfield. >> why do people -- [ laughter ] why would anyone call you garfield? >> because i'm bright orange and i love lasagna. [ laughter ] >> snooki, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can call me

words written by snooki, herself. the end, we'll decide the winner, based on our great audience's applause. steve, tell us what tonight's winner will be taking home! >> steve: well jimmy, tonight's winner will receive a brand new gpx karaoke system. sing along to your favorite songs and follow lyrics on the built-in monitor. it's lean, mean. it's a fist-pumpin' party machine. includes a microphone and av cable. jimmy? >> jimmy: oh my god. this is unbelievable. thank you, higgins. i just want to mention that this is not the new model that just came out for 2011, although it weirdly enough costs $20.11, so that's weird. [ light laughter ] let's get started. contestant number one, you are up. remember, you can sing however you want, just as long as you're singing and not talking, okay? your snooki song tonight is a charming ballad about female empowerment. it's called "i love my badonk." [ laughter ] there it is. here's your mic, right there. go ahead and take your spot over there. these are real words from the book from

snooki, everybody.ght back with lloyd banks. >> ( beeping ) ( beeping stops ) >> announcer: free is better. do your simple return for free with the federal free edition at turbotax.com. turbotax. the most trusted brand of tax software. whenever the whole family gets together, we always make time for just us cousins. like the other night at olive garden. this is like being back at the kids' table. try our two new scaloppini dishes. pan-seared chicken or sauteed pork. both served with asiago filled tortelloni. at olive garden. ♪ [ female announcer ] why use the same hand towel over and over instead of a clean, fresh one every time? ♪ your hands are only as clean as the towel used to dry them. that's why there's kleenex® brand hand towels. a clean, fresh towel every time. ji that's why there's kleenex® brand hand towels. i may be mud, but i have standards. mops? please. some of them have bacteria. ♪ and they try to pick me up? ew. i'm really hard to get. uh! ♪ what about love?! [ male announcer ] swiffer a

snooki is here with us tonight. we have music from lloyd banks.ight back with "the mentalist," simon baker, so stick around. [ female announcer ] what will you gain when you lose? i would consider the scale my frenemy. ♪ [ woman ] i don't like scales. i've been avoiding this. pride? courage! i like this. [ woman ] that's what it should say! [ female announcer ] take the special k challenge. lose up to six pounds in two weeks, and see what you gain. with the special k challenge, you can have the cereal you love and so much more. design your free, personalized plan at specialk.com. with listerine®whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth. >> ( beeping ) ( beeping stops ) >> announcer: free is better. do your simple return for free with the federal free edition at turbotax.com. turbotax. the most trusted brand of tax software. [ male announcer ] it's a new year and time for a fresh sta

snooki gets slammed in public snooki drinks for our sins.e you so harshly. is it fair? >> no, i don't think it's fair. but that's all they see on the show is us partying and having a good time. i'm not like that all the time. that's summertime, that's the time we let loose, like vacation time. >> but you acknowledge that you contributed to tim imagine. >> i'm not like that all the time. like right now, no. >> the debut of season three of this show was recently on mtv and it got the highest ratings for any show as part of any series on mtv. >> uh-huh. >> that's astonishing when you really think about it. what can people expect from this season? i mean i remember, i thought it was hard to watch, when you got punched. >> yeah, that sucked. >> by a guy. >> yeah. >> so is there more violence in season three? >> i would say this is the least amount of fighting we have ever done. like obviously not -- >> physical fighting or verbal fighting? >> physical. we try and stay away from that, but it's really hard. >> i know that you actually later in the

most of the episode was about snooki.ie and mike ran into a guy who looks just like their other roommate ronnie. >> yo, ronnie. ron? you working on your traps, bro? >> we got vinnie, mike, pauly, ronnie -- go like this, go like this. >> oh my god! oh my god! >> jimmy: there's two human rhinos. and by the way, those -- those are not the only cast look alikes. we scoured the internet today. for instance, the situation looks a lot like squidward from sponge bob. pauly d looks like londo from "babylon five." and snooki is a dead ringer for this orange fire hydrant. i want to -- one more thing. my aunt chippy is -- and if you are wondering, this is my real aunt. my mom's sister. she is not a fan of "jersey shore." she does not approve of the way kids behave on the show. we force her to watch it. and turns out, she still doesn't think much of it. >> this is aunt chippy with another preview of [ bleep ] "jersey shores." roll it. oh, they're getting dressed to go out. >> getting nervous. >> because you're excited? >> yeah. >> wha

snooki would drop something. i dropped all the food or something. and it was like, yeah, whatever.acting that hard, i mean -- you were anything would happen the door would ring. ding-dong. [ gasp ] [ laughter ] pulling your sunglasses -- and like it was the most amazing thing. it was my favorite move of all time. i gotta say i'm a big fan of you, buddy. >> oh, you know what, i was definitely very perceptive of what was going on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you've helped out the editors a lot. yeah, yeah, yeah. but they kept cutting to you after every reaction shot. i'm like they gotta cut to "the situation." >> i remember you -- i think you described me as mr. roper of some sort. >> jimmy: yeah, mr. furley. yeah, you were the mr. furley from "three's company." [ laughter ] he'd come through the window like -- huh? huh? [ laughter ] and that was -- [ laughter ] that was the move where i go he's genius. he's television royalty. >> did you get "the situation workout" yet? >> jimmy: yes i did get "the situation workout." i just got it though. [ laughter ] haven't had a chance to reall

and another season of "jersey shore" awaits in the new year. 12 more months of snooki?> he's so awesome. >> reporter: well, i guess that will be good news for some in 2011. another year of snooki. if you're a reality show fan, you have a lot to look forward to. a revamped "american idol" is coming. and a reality show about the new oprah network. and i'm sure by the end of the year, there will be a new real housewives of sioux falls by the end of the year, i'm sure. >> i'm sure snooki could take you. >> johnny depp is a mainstay. a long way from "21 jump street." >>> coming up, some all-star advice for the new year. dr. phil and suze orman will be here with the resolutions to make for a great year ahead. >>> and music from the man who won an oscar for playing ray charles. jamie foxx is here. to sing us a song. >> my hope for the new year is she'll be finishing high school and going on to a new chapter of her life attending university. >> i hope for a truck. >> my hope for the new year is to get out of debt and stay healthy. ♪ [ bells jingling ] [ snorting ] [ gasps ] ♪ [

snooki signed autographs today, here in new york.t was the first time in history that a celebrity asked the fans to sign her boobs. it was really weird. it was like -- [ light laughter ] i didn't get it, but -- i just saw this. over 400 people have volunteered to take a one-way trip to mars to start colonizing the planet. [ laughter ] yeah, i'm pretty sure the last people we'd want starting a new civilization on mars are the ones who volunteer to do it. it's like -- [ nasally voice ] "i am through with earthlings. my cat, alexander, and i are going to mars!" [ laughter ] this is interesting. a new study found that college students think self-esteem is more important than sex. when asked, "really?" college students said, "no." [ laughter ] hey, patriots' quarterback tom brady and his wife, gisele bundchen, were in town on saturday to see the broadway play "lombardi." and i thought this was nice. today, over 200 jets' fans offered him front row seats to "spider-man: the musical." isn't that nice? [ laughter ] so sweet. and finally, thi

, there was no snooki.ou imagine? how did they even do things? so, anyway, happy anniversary to us, and, yes, we are expecting later. president obama gave the annual state of the union address last night and it ended with the most shocking rose ceremony yet. the president did a very good job of capturing the mootd of the american public. he says he understands people are angry. not just people, but birds. we have angry birds in this country. and he feels their pain. i learned something new at the state of the union addresses every year. did you know east virginia isn't a state? obama promised to veto any bill sent to his desk with earmarks, which you think he's just being overly sensitive about his ears, but he also said we have to win the future. he said that seven different times. i'd settle on tying the future, personally. i don't like to get greedy. i'm not even sure what that means. i think it means that medical marijuana is now legal in washington, d.c., and -- because it sounds like something he came

she looks exactly like snooki. four feet tall.tly like snooki. >> she better be ready to party or i'm just saying. >> she is. >> where's our room? whoops, sorry. >> i brought deena inside the house. everybody was so nice. but sam, she was like, hi. like a little valley girl style. >> oh. we have trouble coming up this season. now, we also have spies on tonight's episode, deena. and i have to ask you about this, what happened with you and the situation? >> oh, man. okay. going into the house, i was really nervous. so, i decided, you know, to drink a little bit, before getting into the house. so, i mean, i was drinking from, like, the minute i got there, before i got there, till six hours into the night. so, by that time -- >> she's a real trooper. >> i was really drunk. so, by that time, you know, i wanted to show off my bathing suit with my cowboy hat. >> yeah. >> bathing suit? >> and i wanted to cuddle. >> cuddle? >> so, i went to take down my dress to show my bathing suit off. and i guess i was so numb from being drunk, i didn't

tomorrow night from "jersey shore" snooki will be with us.en a book. [ laughter ] that's not a joke. she wrote a book. from "the mentalist" simon baker and we'll have music from lloyd banks. oh, by the way, i want to show an actual photograph of my new little cousin franki. concheti marceglia is the correct way to pronounce it. he's italian. and, you know, they come out all gross but they get pretty cute right away. congratulations to them. for ten seasons and then two other seasons, our first guest played one of our best-ever friend, joey. now he has a new show premiering sunday night on showtime. it's call ed "episodes." please welcome matt leblanc. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? you got some -- you got a little gray in the hair, very distinguished. >> thanks. >> jimmy: very nice. it does look good. >> i'm 1,000. >> jimmy: yes, you're very elderly. how are you? how was christmas? >> it was good. >> jimmy: did you get a go-kart? >> i did not. >> jimmy: that's a shame. i did. >> it has feathers on it. >> jimmy: i know, it does

she's a, like, a drunk slutty version of snooki.r thought i would say this, but deena might be too trashy even for "jersey shore." that's like being too black for the apollo. it doesn't happen often. it was quite an episode. sammi is all, like, we're taking the triple bedroom, vinnie's all, i'm bunking with paulie. the sitch is so like, how am i supposed to smoosh with agree namds with the two of you in the room with me. things are getting interesting. my aunt chippy, who is also loud and italian, doesn't like the show. she hates it. every week we make her watch it and give her thoughts, and here she is now, aunt chip pip wipy r review of "jersey shore" season three. >> we have a new girl in the house, see what kind of an [ bleep ] this one is. roll it. >> oh, really? she's totally getting butt named. >> oh, she's totally getting make and i'm standing here watching it. look at the look on his face, this other [ bleep ]. >> saw my na-na. >> oh, my god, my na-na has just committed suicide. your goods. they ain't good. they're good for

sellers list. [ scattered applause ] yeah, snooki on the best seller's list.p next, locusts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "oh, it's a river of blood." thank you. [ laughter ] check this out. a new study found that heavy drinkers are more likely to develop an abnormal heart rhythm. yeah. while a similar study found that heavy drinkers are more likely to think that they have rhythm. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] "great party, gary. such a great party. the best one you've ever had, gary. [ laughter ] this is a great party. i want to turn up -- turn up the base. turn up the treble." [ laughter ] you guys see this? marriott plans to remove adult movies from its new hotels. that's right. each room will be porno-free or, as they're calling it, non-stroking. [ laughter ] stroking and non-stroking. [ laughter ] "i'll take a non-stroking room, please." [ laughter ] that's right. marriott is eliminating adult movies in hotel rooms. it's also eliminating awkward conversations about those accidental charges on your bill. [ laughter ] "i'm telling you, i mu

i blame snooki for that, by the way.eather on the west coast cleared up in time for the roetz parade in pasadena. any of you go to this rose para parade? really? personally are i can't imagine waking up at 4:00 in the morning after new year's eve to watch flowers walk down the road. but the rose parade's been going on for 122 years. it's the longest running rose parade in all of pasadena. [ laughter ] it aired live on television here on our ktla. bob eubanks hosted with stephanie edwards. stephanie edwards provided us with 2011's first unintentional joke of the day. enjoy. >> i was reading the other day about the fact that faces used to be done with flower petals but flower petals decay. jim came up with the crushed walnuts and other ideas of using nuts to keep the faces looking good. >> well look at that. >> i'm going to apply some nuts to my face this year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, that's a heck of a resolution. [ applause ] may i see, your husband is a lucky man. [ laughter ] as of today, we have a new governor in

. >>> finally, will becoming a novelist ruin snooki in? first she toned down her poofy hair.ow she's dropping hints she would like to ditch her famous nickname. she told the associated press, quote, i miss people calling me nicole. this comes to us from wect, nbc news 6 in wilmington, north carolina, where one lone crusader seems to be protesting one fast food restaurant's menu selection. every day this chicken stands guard staring down customers who show up for the lunchtime rush. it struts back and fot outside while its battered friends are deep fried inside. some customers aren't bothered while others have begun to question their menu choice. regardless, they all admire the animal's courage. so do we. >>> i'm lynn berry, and this is "early today," just your first stop of the day today on your nbc station. >>> it is the universe like you've never seen it before. these are the most precise, never before seen digital color images ever captured courtesy of a telescope in new mexico. scientists have been putting together more than a trillion pixels to show a million galaxies in

" until she's 50. [ laughter ] wait, snooki isn't 50? laughter ] check this out, a new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170 thousand years ago. in fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, "me look fat in this?" [ laughter ] "no -- me go work on fire. [ laughter ] [ yawn ] look at the sun. [ laughter ] me be going." this is interesting, you guys, a transsexual man and woman say their son is following in their footsteps and getting a sex change to become their daughter. yeah, it's the classic case of "like father who used to be a mother and the mother, who used to be a father, like son, who wants to be a daughter." [ laughter ] classic case. [ applause ] i'll take it. i'll take it. thank you so much. hey, las vegas is bubbling right now. it's hosting the consumer electronics show, and a porn expo at the same time this weekend. [ laughter ] yeah, nerds everywhere were like, "wait, consumer electronics and porn are two different things?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's right. this weekend, las vegas is hosting an elect

. >>> and jersey shore reality star snooki talks to matt lauer about her new novel. >>> now keep it onhis channel for continuing local news, weather, sports and more. i'm veronica de la cruz. thanks for watching "early today," just your first stop of the day today on your nbc station. have a great tuesday. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

." >> jimmy: tonight, simon baker, snooki from "jersey shore", music from lloyd banks. two people picked the winning numbers for the mega-millions jackpot. tonight,igigigigigigigigigigigi@ dinner's ready! it's french's crunchy onion chicken! (announcer) for a quick and easy dinner crush french fried onions. dip chicken in egg. coat with onion crumbs and bake. when dinner's made with french's french fried onions, everyone's happy. french's. happy starts here. look for it in the canned vegetable aisle. caw caw!

that's because the first book by nicole snooki will be on shelves. >>> coming up, for some of you, predictionsut 2011. that way to her book club.t shet she'll probably say something like, the food was great. it was good to get away." but let's be honest... mom just caught air! now, there's a irst. tell us what you've always wanted to do, on facebook. [ ship horn blows ] to finish what you started today. for the aches and sleeplessness in between, there's motrin pm. no other medicine, not even advil pm, is more effective for pain and sleeplessness. motrin pm. so if you go from a croissant with butter to a whole wheat roll with olive oil, you'll go from roughly 16 grams of fat to about 6. take alli with that, and you're down to 4.5. alli helps you reach a healthier weight, when you get active, eat right, and take alli. alli will block about 25% of the fat you eat. and for every two pounds you work to lose, alli can help you lose one more. fda-approved alli -- how healthy works. learn more at myalli.com. . >>> and finally this morning, we've come along way baby. but still not as far as we thought

. >> jimmy: tonight, simon baker, nicole "snooki" bÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑb!s closing argument. a decade

and snooki is the it girl of twenty ten if you haven't heard of area american reality star promises this year you certainly will find out what's behind her success log on to our dot com. plus discover a new dimension as one of the most famous ballets the not correct or the silver screen in three d. . georgia's capital tbilisi is an ancient city with a history dating back hundreds of here is currently the old town is getting a new law authorities have begun construction of new modern buildings as part of a restoration project but as our first reports locals are unhappy with the changes saying to police is losing its spirit. to police his old town is undergoing some major changes a government backed construction project aims to revamp the aging architecture they call it new life for the old town but others have called it a battle for the city's soul. like the third entry fees winding cobbled streets old house or the wooden balconies have the light of visitors and inhabitants but there are signs of construction are everywhere people are worried that it's destroying the town's historical cha

and now there are people that want to make snooki money as in "jersey show" that is a term in hollywood that other shows are trying to see because they had over eight million people tune in to their third season. it's sad that that is where all the ratings are, that's where all the advertisers are. that is disturbing. i don't like shows like that. >> you know, genevieve said, americans have become soft. i think -- these shows not only add to it it's also symptomatic. the fact that we would find -- when i was in the hospital i watched "housewives of --" one of those housewife things. they're awful women. >> and very materialistic. >> getting back to the materialism. everything is about money and bling-bling and it's so -- i can't watch it because there's nothing intellectual. it makes people look as cheap as possible. a lot of -- >> but americans don't want intellectual. there is -- i don't think that's true. i think if we were giving it to them i think that's thing that people say. this is what americans want. this is the tv that they want. i don't think so. remember shows like "the wes

. >> no senator snooki, i was joking.y go for a presidential run and skip the senate altogether. >> there you go. i'm glad you cleared that up. republican congress coming in later this month. will president obama and john boehner become great friends all of a sudden? >> the relationship couldn't get any worse than it already was. last year, they had a very kind of frosty relationship. but, it has to get better because both men will benefit if it does get better. boehner is a dealmaker and gets along with others and president obama knows how to do this. so, it will probably get better and then it'll have to get worse because they will both be running against each other in 2012 to keep control of his job and president obama to be re-elected. >> both like to play golf. do you see any golf outings in their future together. >> maybe one. but, probably not multiple golf outings definitely no retiring to the clubhouse for massages inch i understand. what will be the republicans' first order of business in 2011? >> spending. they

. >> i do fear that americans would vote for this snooki for congress at this point. i'm concerned. >> i want us all to have a good time without no drama. >> i went to high school with all those people. >> my friends were proud to call themselves guidos and guidettes. >> go to a party. >> pumping like champs. >> pump their fists in the air, make out with multiple people, throw up. >> i do not want to watch the es ka paeds of trashy folks on national television. >> it's fun to watch. we all have a little trash inside of us. let's admit it. ♪ >> on to music. ♪ i whip my hair back and forth." >> the best reason to buy a neck brace, willow smith's "whip my hair." >> i worry about people's health. you should do it with care. >> i'm not listening to a lot of music right now. >> i have no idea what i'm listening to. isn't that terrible? >> i will say that i downloaded eminem. i thought he was really good. >> if you listen to his lyrics, he has a lot to say. >> worst wardrobe malfunction, lady gaga who reached for a dress and grabbed an entree. >> meat dress? that's lady gaga

chris, back to you. >> erica, never underestimate snooki. tell the guys that, would you, please?kfast. we'll look at the risk of eating too much in the morning. this is "the early show" here on cbs. the morning. this is "the early show" on cbs. no artificial ingredients. no preservatives. and no added hormones. ♪ daisy, do-do a dollop >> man: delivering a 200-pound ice sculpture means i don't have any margin for error. one wrong turn, and i could end up unloading a puddle of water. >> gps: turn right ahead. >> man: so i make sure i have the right guidance to get me exactly where i need to be. it's the same with taxes. turbotax has a unique gps feature that guides me step-by-step. automatically double-checks along the way and even lets me talk to a tax expert so i'm never alone. which helps me know it's done right and get to my maximum refund, guaranteed. >> try turbotax online now. you don't pay unless you're satisfied with the results. winter can be beautiful. [ female announcer ] and now, winter skin can be too. discover relief from dry, uncomfortable skin with skin relief mois

and it's snooki. and it's called "a shore thing."u can see it right there. >> love it. >> there's tons of excerpts from this book. i just want to give you one in the remaining time we have. on seeing another person as if for the first time -- this is a quote where she's talking about another guy -- "he had an okay body, not bad at all, and naturally toned abs." down his belly and slurp it out of his nevada develop without getting splashed in the face. p.. medicare supplement nsurance card, too. medicare is one of the great things about turning 65, but it doesn't cover everything. in fact, it only pays up to " 80% of your part b expenses. if you're already on or eligible for medicare, call now to find out how an aarp... insured by unitedhealthcare insurance company, not paid by medicare part b. that can save you from paying .up to thousands of dollars... out of your own pocket. these are the only medicare supplement insurance plans... exclusively endorsed by aarp. when you call now, you'll get this free information kit... with all you

this was the episode where snooki got arrested for being drunk and annoying at the beach.better way to honor the legacy of dr. martin luther king than that. if you missed it, well, if you missed it, just watch any episode, they're all the same. but "jersey shore" is pretty much the same circle of drunken fist pumping and throwing up and humping over and over again. so, to make it more interesting, we took the audio from last night's episode and mixed it from t"the new adventures of batma batman." >> i like mike. but his personality and how he carries himself. >> deena wants to make out with mike. so, you know me, i break the ice. come here. i'm so -- >> sounds like a good time. >> jimmy: that's how they do it on the gothham shore, kids. we have a good show tonight. golden globe nominee jennifer lawrence is here. comedian andrew norelli is with us and we'll be right back with dog pounder number one randy jackson, so stick around. you want me to weigh myself in times square? [ gasps ] it's kinda scary. a little intimidated, but i'm down. joy! [ laughs ] courage. that sounds

the lack of light inmates receive. [ laughter ] yeah, the idea from the new russian prison warden snookilaughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] [ imitates russian accent ] "we get together, we have three-way." [ laughter ] ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] "i want to put my butt in the refrigerator." [ laughter ] ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] "stay tuned for 'skins.'" [ laughter ] ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] hey, did you hear this? [ scattered cheers ] hey, did you hear this? there's talk that the band o-town may be doing a reunion. oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] i hope they play some of the old stuff. [ laughter ] hey -- ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] [ imitates russian accent ] "i'm a good person." [ laughter ] did you hear about this? a 60-year-old strip club employee was fired for being too old. [ laughter ] oh, it was bad, you guys. i mean, whenever she came to the stage, she would ask the deejay to play the charleston. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] back when she started, the stripper poles were made of wood. [ laughter ] in her time, people used to make it rain with war bonds. [ laughter ]

. >> jimmy: that's right, she made a snooki doo. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. oh yes! ♪ what about love?! [ female announcer ] swiffer attracts dust. swiffer 360 dusters gets in hard to reach places. it picks up two times more dust than a feather duster using thousands of fluffy fibers to lock dust away. you're just my type! [ laughs ] [ female announcer ] swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning. looif i'll finally get the can fecoverage my family deserves. if it's something we can afford. to steer clear of the confusion, go to metlife.com in less than 5 minutes, you'll get straight answers. like how much life insurance you really need and how much it costs. so, no matter where you end up buying, you'll make the best decision for your family. get guarantees for the if in life. from metlife. call 1-888-metlife for your free quote with no pressure or obligation. this is android. which powers the evo. this is something nice someone said about the evo. so is this. ♪ and this. and all this. ♪ and this is the new htc evo shift 4g. a smaller evo with a slide out keyboard.

there's so much snow in new jersey, someone, i don't know who this was, someone put a carrot in snooki'sose, which is not -- in new york, mayor bloomberg introduced a 15-point plan to get the snow cleared in a timely fashion from the streets. 15 seems like too many points to me. i just go with two. snow blower and maybe some salt. but that's me. here in los angeles, we thought we got some snow today, it turned out -- just turned out charlie sheen sneezed. so -- disappointing. especially for the school children. the whole world's been getting crazy weather lately. it even snowed in madrid, which is usually dry and sunny in the winter. our winter is their easter or something? i don't know. but this is from a madrid news channel where a reporter named lydia comon forgot a very important thing while sledding with children in the snow. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> jimmy: the camera guy was killed. that's why i only sled wirelessly. she must really have been hanging onto that microphone to tow that guy like that. i don't know if you noticed this, but weather people have changed a lot ov

i forget, i just want to say thank you to all the people who helped me put it together every day, snookisarah palin, tiger woods -- [ laughter ] charlie sheen, hu jintao. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not sure what to make of this, you guys. scientists in japan have produced a genetically engineered mouse that can chirp like a bird. yeah. combination of mouse and bird. cats haven't been this excited since a man dangled a string. [ laughter ] this isn't good, you guys. there's some controversy over foot fetish videos online, featuring the wife of jets coach rex ryan. yeah, it's weird. it's weird. when i first read about rex ryan's foot fetish, i just thought they misspelled "food." [ laughter ] oh -- foot fetish. this is weird. a new study found that reindeer eat hallucinogenic mushrooms to escape boredom during the winter. [ light laughter ] i guess that explains the most popular reindeer game, "look at the cloud." [ laughter ] [ as rudolph ] "she thinks i'm cute! she knows my name! she's in my brain!" [ light laughter ] and finally, i heard that teen pregnancy in the u.s. hit an all time

. >> snooki. >> hey. >> i have your new roommate. >> snooki walks through door -- >> we have a situationnew season. and the gang is going to be right here on "good morning america," live, on thursday. >> boy. all of them. that is something. >> yeah. she does have a new book. a novel, actually. >> okay. we'll hear all about it. >> behave. >> just talking about the book. >>> also, we're very excited about our advice guru. we started with more than 15,000 people. got down to 20. you saw the submissions. this morning, we reveal the final seven. see how they're going to make it to the absolute final. >>> how would you never like to sweep or mop your floor again? we're going to show you some of the great gadgets, like the self-propelled robot, that have earned the good housekeeping v.i.p. good product awards. steve is moving. but the camera's not moving. >>> and nick cage is back. he has a new movie "season of the witch." he will tell us all about it. >> he gets to be a knight from the 14th century. >>> let's get to sam. very special guests. >> i do. and good stuff. first of all, thank you so

their names are snooki, vinnie, the situation, pauly d -- [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] we have a greathow, ladies and gentlemen! give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we got a great show. we got a great crowd. we have great guests. such a fun show tonight. a great actor and a great guy all around, golden globe nominee, paul giamatti is here! [ cheers and applause ] he's a great guy. a talented and super cool lady. country music superstar faith hill is joining us! [ cheers and applause ] wow. and we've got some great, great, great music from cake, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] cake is great. it's going to be good. i'm very excited. you guys, it's time for "late night hashtags." here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweets. now, yesterday, i started a hashtag called "worst lie i ever told." i asked you guys at home to tweet out the worst, weirdest or lamest lie that you ever told. we got thousands of tweets. i was watching them come in all night. it was great.

. >> jimmy: now in walks a new friend of snooki's. >> yes. >> jimmy: dina. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. awesome. >> jimmy: dude, dina comes drunk. >> yeah, she's awesome. [ laughter ] she's funny. >> jimmy: she arrives drunk. >> she has a good time. >> jimmy: she arrives wasted. >> exactly. that's how you've got to come, into the house -- >> jimmy: oh, that's not true? >> not knowing anybody, not caring. all she cares about is having a good time. and what's better than that? no, she working for them. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: last year you had g.t.l., gym tan laundry. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you had, "it's t-shirt time"? how do you do it? [ cheers ] >> it's t-shirt time! >> jimmy: but now this year, i'm very excited about this, this year, this gets involved. >> grenade whistle! you know what that is? >> jimmy: how do you know a grenade with -- no, i don't. >> you what this -- i've got to show you. so, this is a grenade whistle. and what this is is, sometimes at the club, you're taking some girls back, and you might be a little cloudy. so, you don't know that. so, let's say my man, vinnie, ta

and finally, mtv just released the trailer for season three of "jersey shore" where snooki is seen fallingfirst in the sand. [ laughter ] man, as if the beach didn't have enough crabs. you know? [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we've got a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] a good one. the hilarious, the talented -- paul rudd is here. [ cheers and applause ] he's one of our pals. [ cheers and applause ] great guy. from the new film "casino jack," the very funny, one of my all-time favorites -- jon lovitz is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. [ applause ] and we've got some great music by a great performer. aloe blacc is here tonight. he's going to be good. [ cheers and applause ] [ jimmy singing ] you guys, there are exactly six shows before we go on christmas break, so it's time for that beloved "late night" tradition, 12 days of christmas sweaters. here we go. ♪ ♪ twelve days of christmas sweaters six days left ♪ >> jimmy: every show between now and christmas, we're gi

facebook and took a quiz to see which "jersey shore" character he is. [ laughter ] "hey, i'm more of a snooki. i thought i was like a pauly d." [ laughter ] speaking of facebook, this is a pretty crazy story. a woman in indiana stabbed her boyfriend because he wouldn't let her look at his facebook page. [ light laughter ] the guy's relationship status now reads, "what do you think?" [ laughter ] did you hear this? the state of new york has fired 90% of its official kosher inspectors. it's the first decision from new york's newest elected official, governor mel gibson. [ laughter ] [ applause ] no more of that business. hey, i read that the fast food chain chick-fil-a is -- [ scatted cheers ] [ laughter ] i read that the fast food chain chick-fil-a is reportedly sponsoring two anti-gay marriage conferences. a lot of people are upset about this, especially their competition, chick-on-chick-fil-a. [ laughter ] they are upset. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we had to do it. we had to do it. some sports news, you guys. the nfl has new rules for the playoffs that will prevent sudden death in

[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, snooki, thank you very [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. welcome to the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." this -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. this is our first show of 2011! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. we were off all last week, just like the people who plow new york city. [ laughter ] actually, i made some new year's resolutions myself. i'm going to eat healthier, i'm going to volunteer more, and i'm not going to fist-pump. [ laughter ] not going to do it. [ cheers and applause ] n0t going to do it. i'm not going to do it. i read that a -- not going to do it. i read that a man in wisconsin -- ♪ -- man in wisconsin. ♪ w