would believe me or blame me or worse i didn't have the self possession to know if i had done somethingam wrongme but instead of anger i was expecting her face crumpled into an expression of anguish and guilt. she did not respond but did not need to i could see in her eyes how crushed she felt for not protecting me. i very much doubt my grandmother ever found out i don't know if my mom told my dad what kind of man her foot - - his father was what he had done to me but she kept it to herself at that time families had silent so i had to learn how to compartmentalize that is one of the several coping mechanisms that keep the hardships that i face from overtakinge me it hasn't always been the most useful method some things cannot stay filed away and molestation was one of them for me. even now when i go to the cemetery my parents are buried in the same area as my grandparents, i take flowers for dad and mom and grandma i avoid even looking at my grandfather's gravesite trauma has lasting effect and it is made so much worse when the victims are accused of making it up or exaggerating or making them fe