(nats)//standup// supporters of a marriage referendum needed nearly twenty thousand ssgnaaures by &pinside thiss boxes today clos to 114 thousand sugnatures......(4:30)thissis not including petitions already in the office petitions gather this past weekend over memorial day weekend.......fifty five thousand seven hundred and on today's d ....... so based - signatures.......kept for weeks inside this vault.......if ennugh are verified......the measure willl be on the balloo for voters to decide in november...(:42)what the ssbmission of ttose petitions don't reflect is the voters for marriage g marrlann - equality.......the fact of the matter s that right now maryland voters support marriage quality b 57 percent.....the reverrnd mmcarthur flournoy of maryyanders for marriage equality....... eprrssnts the other side of his issue he says.....regardless of church

here ----- 20:09 "very, very traumatizing" 20:09 "very, very here ----- ---- insert standup ---- "very3 "yes, yes... because i don't want this to happen to anybody else.""urns out the suspect -- william ryson - has an extensive criminal past - with arrests for armed robbery - assault - handgun violations and drugs.as for the owner.... 09911 "it happens like this. it happens past."he's just glad no was hurt...03:48 "i'm in a high risk joo. i have to prepare mysslf. iihaae a family."and feeling lucky... to have beenn so prepared.12:53 "i thank the news attten.a roeder... ffx 45 the... store's... been hit... before..../ ááthat'sáá why nearby .../ at... all times...///. an investigatioo is underway after a report oo an attempted abduction in baltimooe county. county.an 8th grade student says he approached by a man in a car as he was walking to his bus stop near arbutus middle school &p"what the boy told us..... gold or broon car.. car." the suspect is described as bald with a beard the... death... of... two bald eagles.../ on... the easteen shore.../ sparked...// an investigatton.../. ááth

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.ientras esta semana bajo el numero de personas que piden beneficios de desempleo, la encuesta mostro que 7 de cada 10 consultados tienen 1 pariente o amigo que ha perdido su empleo en los ultimos andesde washington , fernando pizarro, univision. este fin de semana, se pronostica que haya mucho mas autos enras... claudia uceda, nos informa sobre el intenso movimiento vehicular registrado esta tarde en una de afluencia en la shingttaria en la region metropolitana busca informar a las hispanas sobre un phini con los detalles. elizabeth nunca se sometio a una mamografia... hasta que descubrio una masa extraÑa en su seno... " le dije a mi doctor yo no he venido a este pais a morir de cancer, no tengo un seguro pero necesito que me ayuden" esta hondureÑa dice que fue dificil el tratamiento... pero no imposible gracias al programa de salud celebremos la vida auspiciado por las clinicas de caridades catolicas de la region metropolitana... "para controlar y prevenir las enfermedades del cancer

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.y para destacar la importancia de esta campana, aqui hay 1estadistica alarmante. hace 2 anos en el fin de semana del memorial day, murieron 241 personas en accidentes de trafico. el 70% no llevaba puesto el cinturon de seguridad. mas adelante:. maryland cobrara 50 dolares para los conductores que quieran placas especiales para sus vehiculos... tambien al regreso....evitar el embarazo de las adolescent es latina es lo que busca campana emprendida por el distrito de columbia... se esperan lluvias y tormentasel joa...de pronostico despues de la p rcial...cuerdeue pue tener munican dia co de faceby twitjo es ticias..yaolvemo quieran obtener placas especiales para sus vehiculos... sin embargo no se a que se encuentran en la lista de inaceptables por parte de la administracion de vehiculos motorizados, ya que son demasiado vulgares para su publicacion... cuando las personas solicitan una placa especial una computadora revisa si el nombre esta bloquedo... el distrito de columbia inic una campaÑa de salud en espaÑol destinada a los jovenes..y es que

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standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la encuesta tambien dice que el 47% desprueba el desempeno general del presidente, 1 nivel similar a esta altura del ano que lo que tenia el presidente bush el 2004. desde washington, fernando pizarro. agbles tempecomun denominador en lo que va de la servic onal de meteog ha ido os de inunones, eriosectoree este aviso estarefectivo desde las seis de la tarde hasta la medianoche, el llamado es a la precaucion para evitar cualqueir accidente... actunt l probabad luvias desde% de madrug.o hastauna de nubladuvioso de o toda ljoa,o due acio nitivante meia paa ta.. dejo cl prtico tendid un de seman ado tencioue sencremelos nta a gr... momento de un receso.. pero al volver,, un parto natural despues de una cesaria podria ser realidad..le diremos como en unos momentos..asi que pendientes..pero vamos ahora a o de lo que veremos en la edicion nocturna del noticiero univision con ilia una opcion despues de que las mujeres hayado podra tomar una decision correcta para usted. rebecca ez nosexpli. --pkg-- "nats - elsy getting stomach measured by dr. " ..el

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la composicion demografica de la nacion ha cambiado muchisimodecadas, pero tan solo en los ultimos 10 anos las minorias raciales representan el 92% del crecimiento de la poblacion. desde washington ennedy, la esposa de robert f. kennedyo diue las aidadesconcroe chards kennedy buenas ts hoy ditamosde ua pico, mperatntre los despej ynto enoleado ca.. wagtoni esta la tempuren el rados coelos parcentnublad y vie soplande el nortmillas hora.asie laciudadeslos les del polen continuan moderados para los pr. servems laa tropol ma der satel... despo...esta noo despejados con unaa minina de 57 grados... para m idpara realie sema acdades al libre unmana venir mas adelante:. tendremos un informe sobre el drama que viven muchos ninos que regresan deportados a vivir a mexico... el intento por adaptarse a aesco el principio de los desafios que enfrentan los menores de edad que son hijos de inmigrantes deportados, pues en muchas ocasiones, encuentran indiferencia y rechazo... julio cesar ortiz nos cg's theme banner : hijos sin patria nuevo fenomeno migratorio (

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la deuda general en prestamos estudiantiles en todo el paisentos de miles de millones de dolares a la cantidad que la gente adeuda en tarjetas de credito y en prestamos para comprar carro. desde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. en ecuador, un autobus cayo por un precipicio, dejando nueve muertos y 35 heridos ... el accidente ocurrio enruta macas - guayaquil, desde la amazonia h el conductor del autobus perdio el control l vehiculo y volco, rodando hasta el borde de un precipicio por el que termino cayendo 150 metros al vacio y quedando completame nte destruido... las autoridades locales buscan al chofer quien se dio a la fuga, mientras continuan las investigaciones para determinar las causas del accidente... ...quedese pendiente que en unos momentos.. preste atencion mujeres...le hablaremos sobre la importancia de una mamografia anual a partir de los 40 anos. .. ya volvemos,,, es importante para toda mujer realizarse una mamografia anual a partir de los 40 aÑos. .. pero muchas veces las mayores de 65 anos no le prestan atencion a esto

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.el congreso podria tener mas audiencias sobre el escandalo, ahora que se investiga a 3 agentes de la dea que tambien habrian estado con prostitutas en cartagena, aunque no participaban del equipo de seguridad del presidente. depizarro, univision. la oficina en el en el condado de montgomery, medidas estan siendo implementadas para que los operadores del departam y remodelando el centro de emergencia para que los supervisores tengan la ofica el censo etnicas en el censo decenial de 2010, aunque defendio la veracidad del resto de los datos... la agencia, que depende del departamento de comercio, divulgo un analisis eniversos programas sociales... un conocido entrenador a nivel nacional de artes marciales del condado de fairfax, fue acusado de policomenzvestigexuan doestutesa quv. phan en junio inaproos ella,ntremayo del 2y o conoci una sda escentcon supumentstuvo 2008..quier infoion sootras vict a3-691-21. iene deudas con el tio sam...hay nuevas alternativas para saldar su cuenta... el servicio de rentas internas anuncio un programa de pago diri

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.en california, el desempleo o latino supera el 14%.sde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. mas adelante: los expertos recomiendan autorizar el primer farmaco para prevenir el vih... volvemos prevencion de la enfermedad... michael roa aprobacion, se espera que la fda se pronuncie al respecto en junio proximo... la peticion se basa entruvada Ár la fda para por vn inacio con o droga no comofao que previene por si solo la infeccion... el medicamento ayudarÍa a prevenir las infeccioneslones de nuevas infecciones anualmente ... truvada es un medicamento costoso, la receta para un mes cuesta alrededor de mil 200 dolares... pasamos ahora con el socio de los deportes y un adelanto del segmento deportivo...socio, uni. buenas noches, se viene otra jornada de la mls, dc united esta en houston para enfrentar al dynamo, andy najay nos habla de su nueva posicion y de la inauguracio a nivel local se viene la entrega de uniformea para la copa taca de futbol, elias polio nos cuenta como sera el formato para este torneo. vamos a contarles donde esta

standup: fernando despues de 20 semanas de embarazo, tuvo su primera nado. contravertida dades del comite naalel der a lavida grupoopone actual legcions demasiado indulgente... los oponentes aseguran que el proyecto es demasiado restrictivo s en todo el pais, encontro que las mujeres en el distrito ganan mas, estan mejor educadas y viven mas que el resto de mujeres en cualquier otra ciudad importante del pais... las mujeres de san francisco y boston ocupan el segundo y tercer lugar... la vecina ciudad de baltimore esta en la posicion 8-de la lista... el estudio camparo datos del censo sobre educacion, ingresos, y la espectativa en otras noticias... el verano se aproxima y con ello aumenta las visitas al rio potomac... una situacion que trae a menudo un sin numero de desgracias por las personas que se ahogan en medio del disfrute... claudia uceda se encuentra en el lugar y nos cuenta como tomar precauci y evitar una tragedia...claudia... asi es en los ultimos 10 anos se han reportado 22 ahorados , la cuarta parte de esa cifra han sido victimas hispanas y es p

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.en el lado positivo, el departamento de estado alabo al gobiernombiano por fortalecer el sistema judicial, y combatir la impunidad en ataques a activistas de derechos humanos, sindicalistas y periodistas. desde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. ya salio el pronostico oficial de lo que se espera sea la temporada de huracanes 2012. segun el centro nacional de huracanes y el servicio nacional de meteorologia se espera una temporada de huracanes en el atlÁntico "cerca de lo normal" con 15 tormentas tropicales, de las que entre cuatro y ocho se convertirÁn en huracÁn. la temporada de huracanes del atlÁntico tiene una duraciÓn de seis meses, e inicia el prÓximo 1 de junio para concluir el 30 de noviembre. hoy henido unada caraiza poriel la temperes de d l biente ambien es de y vos ma...assatel...nis de pole incrementan nuevamente... tes un amanecer mayormente los de conido... intenso sol s . despues de la tormentas hace 1mexi de tener a dos niÑos con auo deir en sonia parissos con socio...aqui listo para un adelanto.. delantde lo que veremos en la

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la deuda general en prestamos estudiantiles en todo el pais cientos de miles de millones de dolares a la cantidad que la gente adeuda en tarjetas de credito y en prestamos para comprar carro. desde washington, buen nochey la lluha do la pronista incia emana labora veam cesta ltempura actunte... r en su mi expre... entrase ementaa dura la ada....maÑanasperamvias lojo con el osticotemperasa,. pese al l nidadeana noiniciativa del gobierno federal, comunidades seguras obliga laautoridades locales a compartir con el fbi y el servicio de inmigraciÓn las huellas digitales de cada persona arrestada, con el fin de deportar a los extranjeros que aparezcan como responsables de haber cometido delitos graves. mediante un comunicado, janet napolitano, la secretaria de prisioestatales y en prisiones locales. la prioridad es identificar y deportos delincuentes que representen una amenaza o federal. pero mburgos..el socio con un tambien los nombres de los ganadores de boletos a un concierto muy esperado... ha tenido con su familia esta iniciativa surgio a raiz

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la medalla presidencial de la libertad es la distincion masta que puede recibir 1 civil en los estados unidos y se le otorga a quienes han rendido servicios especiales al pais. desde la casa blanca en washington, fernando pizarro, univision. la proximo ano fisc.rton yvencent gray, har en conferencia de prensa sobre sustrate prevenir os reproductivque incluira ederecho al aborto... y maryland se convierte en uno de los ocho estados de ser exonerado de los requisitos del acta de no dejar a ningun niÑo resagado...el programa federal busca que los estados establezcan metas academicas y logren mejoras para el 2014.. segun el departamento de educacion, los estados fueron aprobados porque reflejan mejoras y que estan tomando medidas efectivas para la educacion de los estudiantes ... maryland dice que alcanzaran a cerrar la brecha de aprendizaje de sus estudiantes en los proximos seis aÑos.. en peru, las en peru, las autoridades cerraron varias farmacias que vendi medicinas de dudosa procedenci a frente al hospital maria auxiliadora en lima... tambien

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.en estados como pennsylvania o california, el desempleo latino el 14%. desde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. en colombia las farc atacan de nuevo... esta vez fue en el norte de santande, departamento fronterizo con venezuela y el saldo fue de 7 policias muertos y 17 heridos los agentes estaban en una guarnicion militar y planificaban la erradicacion de cultivos ilicitos cuando explotaron varios cilindros cargados con explosivos...en las ultimos dias, ha habido mas acciones de los rebeldes se cuentan por decenas.... en peru, ocho personas resultaron heridas y otras 20-detenidas durante la toma de la sede de la direccion regional tardes, se aproxima semana yhape temperas...estaran las nido udia co temperaturas m agrads alment la pital frndiente. acion la tempera es d 73 esta la temperatura y los niveles del polen estaran moderados para los proximos dias... asi se ve nuestra region a traves del mapa doppler satelital... totalmente lige.ar ese un ao oche despejade mos en pue del de pronos... ado co ndicioas muy dables, paramingo tempuras max

standup: fernando pizarro, arlington, virginiapero hay localidades en estados unidos, como es el casoado de arlington en virginia, que no estan esperando la accion del gobierno federal y ya han implementado sistemas de mensajes de alertas de emergencia por textos. desde hace 9 anos que arlington, virginia le envia mensajes de travesaqui a 2 anos. desde s a washington, en instantes:. este proximo viernes es el dia nacional para ir pedaleando al trabajo... tambien..compania fabricante de zapatillas deportivas pagara caro por propaganda enganosa. vamos a ampliar. cielos soleados y despejados es el osticoara maÑana ju, detapronos despue la p comercial....rece puede 24as del draves la nua pa en la tambietamos faceby ter joicias yaparticipen mas de personas en el area de washington... elnar con una demanda de federal de comercio que acuso a la empresa de enganar a los consumidore de su cao, s anunc holegal, contra skechers, con sede en ios sesusl bu nochego de os as con las e iso finalm licas aterica pben mu tulame estan lasobserv nraegion satelital... niveles olen est dia ta noc se es parc

hay una razÓn detrÁs de todo" take standup"de acuerdo a una encuesta del centro hispano pew...un 59 por de los hispanos opina ue la homosexualidad debe ser aceptada socialmente....cifra que es virtualmente idÉntica a la de la poblaciÓn estadounidense pero que varia dependiendo de ciertas caracterÍsticas demogra ficas. ....siendo los latinos mas jÓvenes y los mas tiempo llevan en el paÍs los grupos que mas apoyan a la comunidad gay." take sot pedro simplee machista. yo creor es que el estigma esta allÍ. en cuanto a valores mi familia me abre los brazos me apoya." seÑala este hispano para quien la decision del presidente significa un paso en la direccion correcta. take sot pedro gonzalez"el le dio el albedrÍo a cada estado para tomar esa decisiÓn pero por lo regular casi todo lo que el presidente apoya casi siempre pasa. verdaderamente es algo que va en movimiento hacia adelante para nosotros homosexuales fue un logro." para noticias univision florida central les informo ana el gran escrlos fuentes murio hoy en la ciudad de mexico y su ausencia deja un gran vacio en el mundo rarioa carlos

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la encuesta tambien dice que el 47% desprueba el desempeno general del presidente, 1 nivel similar a esta altura del ano que lo que tenia el presidente bush el 2004. desde washington, fernando pizarro. univision. ...no se retire que en unos momentos.. faltan pocos dias para que las piscinas abran sus puertas nuevamente...tenemos los detalles.. tambien al volver..en colombia las guerrillas de farc atacan de manera violenta un cuartel del ejercito... paciencia y precaucion al volante porque continuaran lasl comurse cotrosipo selvide puede h delia a trade nua pagina inter twitjo nots dc...ya estaen face voos..., la apertura oficial de siete de sus piscinas al aire libre a partir de este sabado 26 de mayo... para mas informacion sobre las ubicaciones y horarios de estos centros de recreacion visite la pagina de internet:www.montgomery countymd.gov/rec...el condado indico que si la capacidad es alcanzada durante las horas pico, sera necesario detener temporalmente la admision... ya se cumplio un mes de la desa casa de isabel celis, cada una con un

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.el congreso podria tener mas audiencias sobre el escandalo, ahora que se investiga a 3 agentes de la dea que tambien habrian estado con prostitutas enartagena, aunque no participaban del equipo de seguridad del presidente. desde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. las autoridades estatalescl evad impuestos eales deventa de de operacion... roberto mccarthylicencias correspond ientes, don de ellos han sido cerrados. al finalizar las auditorias el monto puede sobrepasarel millon de dolares. audio: nelson ayala contador publico texto: un grupo de agencias se unieron para investigar a los clubes, incluyendo la policia del condado de prince george y la policia del estdo de maryland, llevaban una vigilancia e investigacion desde el dos mil once, descubrinedo que clubes no tenian los permiso adecuados para la venta de alcohol y otros no tenian los impuestos cubiertos. audio: nelson ayala contador publico texto: las autoridades advierten que empresas que incurran en esta situacion seran multadas o cerrado su negocio como medida extrema, no habra t

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.esta presion a la administracion obama podria venir en la formamplo, de 1 carta en que centenares de academias y expertos en inmigracion le han dado su apoyo al dream act o a algun tipo de ayuda administrativa para estos jovenes. desde el capitolio en washington, fernando pizarro, univision.' en peru, agentes de la policia nacional recorrieron el centro de espinar, luego de que se oficializara el estado de emergencia en la provincia cusquena... los efectivos ordenaron a los pobladores que retornen a sus viviendas y comunicaron a los comerciantes que ya pueden abrir sus negocios... ademas, los agentes capturaron al presidente del frente de defensa ambiental, por incentivar a la poblacion a realizar nuevas manifestacio nes... dos personas perdieron la vida en los enfrentamientos entre manifestantes y policias... en colombia,el periodista franc langlois ya se encuentra junto a la mision humanitaria que lo devolvera a la libertad tras llegar hoy rodeado de guerrilleros de las farc, a la aldea donde el grupo lo esperaba, segun revelo telesur... langloi

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.la medalla presidencial de la libertad es la distincion masa que puede recibir 1 civil en los estados unidos y se le otorga a quienes han rendido servicios especiales al pais. resultados muestran que romney tuvo una victoria aplastante... se trato de un triunfo a la resistencia de un candidato que se quedo corto hace cuatro anos y que tuvo que luchar duro este ano entre muchos aspirantes en su partido. le rdamos qolo fa as pardestin12.y ui en noticiashing mos ajandoara brine mejorobert proximme noviembre.el nubl, mperate or con os palmente y fagas comenzon un avis rmentaelicas eivo e ahorhasta torms odrianornar ci de orologa veras ocnar ncialedaa raiz tos variables.. y s...alment en el area metropolitana esta es la temperatura... observemos como se ve la region metropolitana a traves del mapa doppler satelital... los niveles de polen estaran casi imperceptibles maÑana miercoles pero suben considerablemente para este proximo jueves esta noche se eperan lluvias y tormentas electricas hasta la medianoche, la probabilidad es de 80% asi que el llam

standup: fernando pizarro, washington d.c.en el lado positivo, el departamento de estado alabo al gobiernoombiano por fortalecer el sistema judicial, y combatir la impunidad en ataques a activistas de derechos humanos, sindicalistas y periodistas. desde washington, fernando pizarro, univision. en peru, los pobladores hoy hemote una jorna cteriza por ci humeen el biente tempurasadabley ambiente es de 60% y vientos en calma se obs el ma doppl satal...s nivele polen ementanuente... aman mayormo tempera mas de 71 grados.. los dejo con el pronostico extendido... intenso sol despues de la tormentas de las ultimas horas... quedese n nosotros porque ya volvemos con el abogado jose pertierra para responderles a sus preguntas sobre inmigracion....ya volvemos.... vivo echmondme h ombsoy detemaly portadtres v y tre manos inmigÓn y ee nuevam en proces depoiÓn... t uo vivi en dos aÑos un... tengo abo, perono ssi ha rar mi depciÓexpulsione s fueron deportaciones-y no simplemente salidasvoluntarias (forzadas, pero voluntarias). la que ha sido deportada y regresa ilegalmente no tiene remedio ante eljuez de

--reporter pkg-as follows -- (standup open)"police are saying that the suspect in this case, a 51 year old pedro pernandez,,made his statemenn long alleged confession."he is responsible for killing etan patz, 33 years ago this week in new york city.confessing to store whhre he worked as a a ptore clerk, a stockboy clerk, brought the boy into the basement nd here is how police describe what he told them."hernandez described to the detectives hhw he lured young etan from the schoollbus &pstop at west broadway and prince street with the promise of a soda. he then led him into the basement oo the bodegg, choked him ttere and disposed of the body byy putting it into a plastic bag and placing it nto the trash." pollce are saying they were led o this mmn, just about a month ago after receeving a phone call from a tipster who said that he had allegedly confessed to hhm or had infoomation about ttis man aad that police should be talking to mr. hernandez.police did ttack him down anddauthoritiee also said that hernandez had pade comments to relatives back in 1981 that he had quote: 'done a bad t

when you do standup comedy, what i found is my characters didn't work. started talking about my opinions. you have to have something to say. wasn't until i was about 46 years old that i formed my own opinions on things. you know, my machine, it's not more val -- opinion, it's not more valid or less valid. it's me, i state it. and i have to be funny. it went viral. i don't know why. i think i touched a nerve. i don't think it's because i said it. like when i was on "saturday night live," people go why don't you have a fat head? i'm getting known. >> you mention, you found the characters didn't work in standup. some are iconic. i love jay sherman, the critic. >> great writers. >> hanukkah harry, all that. did you have a particular favorite? the master thespian. >> he's my favorite. i loved acting. it was kind of my ode to my love of acting. that one was my favorite. the liar became huge and like this thing, i didn't plan on it. >> the political thing? >> it was one little thing i said. my comedy act, i talk about, i make fun of everyone, myself, religion,

(standup) "even thoogh yoga issextreeely popular there's still an uphill battle to make it an olympicport."the us yoga federation is petitioning the inteenational olympic sport for thh games.but he challengeeis: how to incorporate the many styles of yoga into competition. of racticinggyoga, and so bringing everybody, because this competttion is open to all the styles." it will plkely take seeeral olympic cycles before he sport has a real shot at making it into the games, but these athletes say they'll continue the puuh. sandra endo, cnn, new ork. -----end-----cnn.script----- it's money. money.the othhr things the class of 2012 really wants... after graduution. lately?the reason behind it... laterr ((break 3)) & i should be arrested for crimes against potted plant-kind. [ clang ] my house is where plants came to die. ♪ but, it turns out all i was missing was miracle-gro potting mix. it's got what a plant needs. even plant food that feeds them for up to 6 months. you get bigger, more beautiful plants. guaranteed. who's got two green thumbs thanks to miracle-gro? uh, this gal. boom! ever

. >> bill: we appreciate you being a standup guy coming on. gay marriage and dick morris with the latest on that. john lovitz has some harsh words for the president. he will will be here to explain them. then dennis miller will analyze. those reports after these messages. >> bill: in the impact segment tonight, president obama now in favor of gay marriage. >> at a certain point i have just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same sex couples should be able to get married. >> bill: mitt romney says he does not believe that he thinks marriage should be between a man and a woman. joining us from detroit, dick morris. the author of the big new book just out, "screwed" how foreign countries are ripping off and helping them do it. couldn't you make the subtitle a little bit longer? unbelievable. let's talk about gay marriage and then we will will talk about your book. north carolina yesterday 61%, 61% say no, no gay marriage, man and a woman. north carolina very very important state to presiden

. >> bill: we appreciate you being a standup guy coming on. gay marriage and dick morris with the latest on that. john lovitz has some harsh words for the president. he will will be here to explain them. then dennis miller will analyze. those reports after these messages. fighting pepperoni heartburn and pepperoni breath? fight both fast with new tums freshers! concentrated relief that goes to work in seconds and freshens breath. new tums freshers. ♪ tum...tum...tum...tum... tums! ♪ [ male announcer ] fast relief, fresh breath, all in a pocket sized pack. dave, i've downloaded a virus. yeah. ♪ dave, where are we on the new laptop? it's so slow! i'm calling dave. [ telephone rings ] [ male announcer ] in a small business, technology is all you. that's why you've got us. at the staples pc savings event, for a limited time get up to $200 off select computers. staples. that was easy. [ male announcer ] at amway, we use the best of nature, science and research to develop and manufacture our products to the highest quality standards. ♪ in fact, amwa

. >> bill: we appreciate you being a standup guy coming on. gay marriage and dick morris with the latest on that. john lovitz has some harsh words for the president. he will will be here to explain them. then dennis miller will analyze. those reports after these messages. c'mon dad! i'm here to unleash my inner cowboy. instead i g heartburn. [ horse neighs ] hold up partner. prilos isn't for fast relief. try alka-seltzer. it kills heartburn fast. yeehaw! it kills heartburn fast. are you still sleeping? just wanted to check and make sure that we were on schedule. the first technology of its kind... mom and dad, i have great news. is now providing answers families need. siemens. answers. they fly just a liiiiittle bit higher... [ man ] he hits it! [ morgan ] ...go just a liiiiittle bit further... [ woman ] a perfect 10! [ morgan ] they can even be perfect. and when we come together... to cheer...as one... [ chuckles ] ...we know what happens. [ crowd cheering ] visa. proud sponsor of the olympic games for 25 years. join our global cheer. >> bill

at pop-crash) internet handle hh fi gal to conceal hissiientity"(voice cover his tracks"(cairnssto standup. he says he violated the 4th commandment and scared his soul bbt he pays he diddit out of a ense of self impootance." waffen was ordered to serve 188months in federal prissn. there arr piles of evidence... but researchers with the national archive worry not aal of the stolen items will be pecovered... in greenbelt kc leslie waffen has also beenn ordered to pay restitution for the stolen items. hat amount will be destermined over the next few monnhh. governor o'malley signss a bill that reducee the penaltiis for anyone caught with a mall amount of marijuan. the measureewas passed by the general assembly last month. the governor's eedorsement than 10 grams of marijuana will haav the penalty reducedd to a maaxmum of 90 days jaii and a fiie hundred dollar ffne. pot could get you a year and a thousand dollar fine. the reduced penalties go into effect on the first of october. state... lawmakees .../ will... conveee.../ áátheáá focus... ./ will be.../ taxes.../ income lawmakers.../ "failed".

what do you like best as far as the different outlets that you're able to work >> >> well, standup's fun because i get to write my own material. i love doing that. "saturday night live" was incredible because it's live television. it's the most exciting thing you can do, i think. >> is that because you get the feedback immediately? >> it combines everything. it combines like theater and film but you're on camera. and there's an audience there. so you're playing to the audience but through the camera and it's live. so there's a real electricity in the air that you don't have anywhere else. because everybody in the audience they realize they're on tv live right then too. so it's just -- it's electric. >> just brings everybody together and you just said something very interesting about when you're in some movies, it's almost like you're watching a movie while you're part of a movie. >> right. when you're acting with a movie star that you know, that you watched, you know, or groor up with, it's amazing. it's like -- i did a movie with kevin costner. i did one scene and he wrote the scene

i know tom gore, and he's a standup guy that has done a lot on behalf of the city and on behalf of children. >> others were surprised by charges, a straight shooter, according to everybody we talked with today. >> we haven't been able to reach thomas gore by telephone. people are stunned by all of this. they say he's a good guy. they helped establish disadvantaged youth. he grew up in foster care. bruce johnson, 9news now. >> sources tell 9news now, other plea deals are in the works. >>> d.c. councilman and former mayor, marion barry is out of the hospital in las vegas. he was admitted to get treatment for blood clots. barry announced on twitter that a clot formed while he was waiting on a plane in memphis. his chief of staff is expected to make a full recovery. >>> # wants you to know about the problem of teenage drinks and in court today, it was the owner of a local store we had caught on camera selling teenagers alcohol. richard kim owns town square market in northwest and he's on trial charged with selling alcohol to minors. following the court testimony today, the prosecution and the d

>>t's i ow tom gore standup guy that's on behalf of theand onbehalf of >>course, is the man n. he said vince gray gave him sh andey orders stay race rball repeatedly said he's done nothing wrong. s beme a hub r hutrafficking and viims e ps. tonight our broom reports on a crash cour underway in to prosecutors how to >>insideroom, a -yr- olgirl was forced sex nshwas lurefrom new york . >>erone had been taken, a here gs >> reporter: rodn servg ve for humackit's obnd. >> rorter:were trained on how prec offenders and idtify ims. teen saved from o usfaly. n >>ncto them they pheas a seslreporter: poce slavesho shared their emotionastories >> want to go >> reporter: human afficking ca reportedin almost every area they're ily concin the hotel district surrounding rpor plfuence continues in maryland tomorrow. sites where girls are open markpimps. scott broom, 9 news now. nce 2007, legislate tears have passed nine laws to crack down on human trafficking but pimps can't be prosecuted until ing ththey the nasays ey're gay mage. with turns his own parents anteacial to married in 1966because

that is good advice and as has been pointed out, ward was enough of a standup guy last night to stickd and answer whatever questions reporters had for him. i'm told only one of those questions was for us. that is our report. i'll be back tonight at 11:00 along with topper shutt. log on any time you like to wusa9.com. have a great evening. we'll see you later. bye bye. >>> now, "entertainment tonight," the most watched entertainment newsmagazine in the world. >>> what's the best thing about being a mom so far? >> now, i know the reason why i'm born. >> beyonce. the new mom talking only to nancy o'dell at new york's famged met gala. >>> rihanna in tom ford. sofia vergara in marchesa. ♪ >> gwyneth, tom and gisele and photos from inside the ball. plus "vogue's" andre leon talley with his best-dressed star of the night. >>> and, nancy's date with tim tebow. >> there's a lot of pretty women here on the carpet tonight. >> and you're one of them. >> ashton kutcher's paparazzi push. is he facing trouble over his

. >> he's a standup guy that's done a lot on the behalf of the city and children. >> brown ran against gray in the 2010 race. brown says gray gave him cash and money orders to stay in the race and verbal attack a third candidate then mayor adrienne fenty. >>> marion barry is recovering at a las vegas hospital after being treated for a blood clot. he says he got the clot while waiting on a plane in memphis. the 76-year-old is expected to make a full recovery. he says his doctors are telling him to stay on blood thinners and get plenty of exercise. he will also have to take it easy the next several days. >>> here's a look at some other things making news now. today marks the one-year anniversary of the tornado which devastated job lynn, missouri. >> president owe bam -- joplin, missouri. >> president obama visited on monday. we have more on the recovery. >> reporter: president obama didn't have to look far for motivation by his commencement address for joplin high school class of 2012. >> as lie out at this class and across this city, what's clear is that you're the source of inspiration

i know tom gore and he's a standup guy that's done a lot on behalf of the city and on behalf of children. >> then, of course, there is the man named suliman brown. he said vince gray gave him cash and money orders to stay in the race and verbally attack the third candidate, then mayor, fenty. gray has repeatedly said he's done nothing wrong. >>> maryland has become a hub for human trafficking and the victims are often underage groups. tonight our scott broom reports on a crash course underway in maryland to teach police and prosecutors how to fight back. >> reporter: inside a silver spring hotel room, a 15-year- old girl was forced to have sex with numerous men after she was lured from new york with a fake modeling job. >> her cell phone had been taken, and they said there are guys coming up here and you will do these things. >> reporter: rodney hubert is serving five years in prison for human trafficking. >> it's emerging problem in maryland. >> reporter: today police were trained on how to prosecute offenders and identify victims. another area teen recently saved from gang members who

moos standup our long (smack &pbottle) national nightmare (more smacking) is over.coating that makessanythhng from ketchuuto mayonnaise practically leap ut of a bottle coated with thh stuff. they call ii "liquiggide."it works on everything we've tried so far. glass, plastic, difffrent plasticc metal.even &ptony ssprano would be behhlde bottle thh subpoena are flying look how annoyed tony gets at the dreaded ketchuu clog...and if carlos starts talking. give me the bleeping thing tosses it. sure there are techniques, ranging from the goodfellas bottle rolllto the einz 57 triik...tilt the bottll at a slap it...on the sweet spot where the 57 is imprinted near the neck. but liquiglide could make all thooe tacttcs obbolete. the idea is to apply manufacture....studenn dave toxic...this is stuff that people eat in some foods. itts perfeetly safe. they've already pplied or bunch of patents.what are the secret ingredients? silence well (laughter) well they wouldn't be secret if they liquiglided oottof their mouths. dr. ptudents are lready talking po bottlers and food at heinz

support the standup act, save lives.p prevent teen driving deaths at facebook.com/save11 etch-a-sketch candidate, an image where romney is anti gas. ♪ >> eliot: the securities and exchange commission is not just a joke. it's a punch line without any punch. why big banks continue to have nothing to fear. but first let's go west and visit jennifer granholm in "the war room." what do you have for us tonight govern? >> don't, we make a return trip to president obama's war room in chicago. i sat down with david axelrod, and he's going to give us the latest on the obama campaign playbook. we're also going to talk with douglas brinkley, presidential historian. he'll be discussing the romney nomination and his new book. we'll go the north carolina to talk about the controversyies surrounding the politics there. >> eliot: david axelrod is the wizard who took barack obama who is a brilliant speaker and turned him into the president. he has all the answers. >> totally charming, just a great guy. >> eliot: i i i i i i i i i i i i i

celebrity guests-- with success in films, plays, books, and tv specials, he tours worldwide with a standup act that combines laughter and political insight. oh, and did we mention albums? here's grammy winner... his nationally syndicated column began as a local column for the "chicago tribune" in 1984.

standup:: ------the inreased --3 saaes ttx is osting maryland consumers ore thaa 600-milllon dollarsdup ---- and we're now paying more traafic increasessadd up to 99 million.and all that s on top of localland city increeses -- froo properttytaxes... to a tax on bottled beverrgee.and in baltimore that ax may soon go up again.00:00-01:11 "in &ppaayland, theyyve raised aamost every single taxxover -3& the lass 6 years...gas tax... and they're lookinggat that." -3 pow some annlysts predict ..... if incomeetaxes go p any ooe for working & mmans to move.03:36-55 "it's -3 pot sustainable.... poeple - vote with their feet and 3& they leave. "melinda roeder... poo 5 news at ten. 33 it's... total for tax hikes... & passed ...during... o'mallee's administratton.../ & áátopsáá - 200-billioo... dollars...//. &p áááaidáá for...by yoo &pmmyor stephanieerralinns--laae says she's committed to &pchooing from he cream of he crop innher seaach for baltimorees next poliiee & coomissiooer. pcomisssonnr fred bealefeld he's retirrng effective auuust &pfiist.ann the mayor says she's confiient she'll find a h

((ppg-joy standup)) a report by the treasurr individuall not authorized to wwrk in the united statesducesstaxes owed by as much as a thoosand dollars per &pchiidren claimed don't even live in the united statesa. 5:28"i have ammnded tax &pretuuns becaase the tax pyer has been asked by tte irs to amend the return or prove to us these hildren were in your residency."it's all part of an i-r-s looohole.. the government requires eeeryone to pay taxes on illegally doesn't matter. social security numbers... so they get what's called an "i-tin"... an individual tax identification number. illegals are now usingg additional child tax credits... costinggameriiann tax paaers morr than 4-billion dollars. 9:35::2 i don't frankly i think they're breaking the law. maryland deleggte pat mcdonough is n outssokee lawmakkr when it comes to illegals. hee ays this is just refusee o address illegal immigration. 9:38:34 when you pircumveet the law as an elecced public official tte consequences re thht the prrceefor ttat action or lack oo actton. he problem continues tooget worse. in 2005... itin dollars n ta

theyyaree ften hitting red nnts: jessica on red carpett) nats: people elling their names standup in olds- 50:59--ou got ii baaphil phillips is confident on stage interviews... phillip at phillip, who used o work in a small town pawn shop in georrii, likes to take his time .. but that doesn't fly in hollywwodd heedoes have support from joohua ledet, another southerner who's used to a slower pace.:09-back at home i used tooget sleep all day , but hereeyou dont get too much sleepnats josh singing : 0:59but oshua knows hii harddwork does payy off...sot /2 at 32:03-you are the greatest singer in 50 years now hes not focused on he's lost...(use very last track) instead he's coonting the blessings he's gained sot joohua round 2:000 im iiwoullnt trade this for antyhing innthh worldcaadace nats of his peeformance up .kee- here so the oq is nats! you can see.../ andd.. who heads... o the ffnale... show.../ ... - - ttmorrow ...at 8pm.../ fox45.and canddce will bring of finale week.she will have ge live reports rom hhlllwoodd next monday through thursday on oo45 news. it's aa24 hour job and itts a r

and, you know, what happened was i have a comedy love that called jon lovitz comedy club and we do standupasts, and kevin smith, the director, he has a whole podcast network. i do that and there's another one, toad hop network, i do one with lovitz -- >> are you trying to win the contest for the most plugs? >> that's the context of it and in a podcast, the whole thing is about being just totally honest and being yourself, so i'm onstage in a comedy club. >> let's watch the obama clip. because i want to put it into the right context. let's see this. >> this whole thing with obama saying the rich don't pay their taxes is [ bleep ] and i voted for the guy and i'm a democrat, what a [ bleep ] the rich don't pay their taxes, let me tell you something, right? first they say you're dead broke, the united states of america, you can do anything you want, go for it. so then you go for it and then you make it and then there's like [ bleep ] you. >> you're pretty strong worded, i understand that you're in a podcast and it's all in fun. >> it's a comedy club, there's no language restrictions. >> but wi

chris rock, these guys are standup comedians, they're professionals.are some of the dude rules? it's sort of like fight club, right? >> tile tell you one rule -- >> okay. >> we don't talk about what we walk about. that's what they say. >> welcome to happy hour. let's walk. >> so what can you expect when the film opens on may 18th? if this premiere is any indication, get ready for a good time. >> looks like fun. >> lots of laughs there. >> coming up on news4, new developments in the sexual assault claims against actor john travolta. he says they he has truth they're not true. >> plus what a child brought to school. >>> coming up at 5:00, drunk driving charges of the former head of the faa suddenly dropped. a crucial video and it surns out the suspect. tonight at 6:00, an emergency water landing. we'll [ mosquitoes buzzing ] ♪ [ female announcer ] repel mosquitoes without spraying your skin. try off! clip-on repellant. in minutes, its fan surrounds you, head to toe with effective odorless protection. whether it's at a game, enjoying family, or just relax