my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it.nally brewed for the holidays. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember whmade plastics that tmake them lighter?rs the lubricants that improved fuel economy. even technology to make engines more efficient. what company does all this? exxonmobil, that's who. we're working on all these things to make cars better and use less fuel. helping you save money and reduce emissions. and you thought we just made the gas. energy lives here. yopantene expert gives you thee? most beautiful hair ever, with our strongest pro-v formula ever. strong is beautiful. the full value of your totaled new car. the guy says, "you picked the wrong insurance plan." no, i picked the wrong insurance company. with new car replacement™, we'll replace the full value of your car plus depreciation. liberty mutual insurance. hi. can you help me save on my energy bill? old appliances. like a hot water heater? it's around here somewhere. nope. nope. what is this thing? sir, have you looked in the basement? hu

stella artois. host one to remember school lunch can be difficult. cafeteria chaos.asy open tabs. because life needs ziploc. sc johnson. but so we don't have tormin wad to get clean. charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. it has comfort cushions you can see that are softer... ...and more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. enjoy the go with charmin. ♪ luke!? these as well. amy. it's been years! oh, you smell the same. meet my wife and my kids. oh you guys are so good-looking... and impeccably dressed. thanks. it's all old navy. you sending off some last minute gifts? i miss us. you know? you should go to old navy. the entire store is up to 60% off right now. that's an amazing idea. okay, i think i'll go there. get out of here. i don't know what that is. i'm just scratching my eyes. >> stephen: and now, here performing "peace," please welcome nine-time grammy award winner norah jones! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ there's a place that i know, where the sycamores grow and ♪ daffodils have their fun where the cares of the day seem to ♪ slowly fade away i

( ♪ ) my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it.lly brewed for the holidays. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! welcome back, folks! it's the holiday season, and that means there's plenty of christmas music in the air. everyone's singing about rudolph, or frosty or "parson brown"... which i'm pretty sure is a euphemism for sex stuff. but there's one christmas song that is truly inescapable -- "simply, having, that's all i -- it's paul mccartney's wonderful christmas "time." ♪ simply, having ♪ that's all i can sing or be sued ♪ am i the cute one? i guess i am! ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: yeah, still your paul? >> stephen: yes, i wrote eleanor rigby. personally, i like the song. but i might be alone. because "usa today" has called "wonderful christmastime," the worst christmas song ever, and esquire just put it at number one on their countdown of the ( bleep ) christmas songs ever recorded. you have to admit, it's pretty impressive that mccartney

stella artois.e to remember that newly listed ranch and wait will be gone.ed for a mortgage, or, you could push that button. sfx: rocket launching. skip the bank. get approved in minutes. lift the burden of getting a home loan with rocket mortgage by quicken loans. (whisper) rocket when are they leaving? grilled cheese and campbell's tomato soup go together like grandchildren and chaos. made for real, real life. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! jon batiste and "stay human," give it up for the band, everybody! ( cheers and appe well folks, my first guest tonight is an oscar winner, but more importantly he's tom hanks. please welcome tom hanks! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> can i borrow your pen? >> stephen: there you go. working on a new project over there? >> yeah, just working on this a little bit. this ain't gonna work, that ain't gonna work. just got to change this. and

stella artois. host one to remember enepeople want power.hallenge.s account for more than a third of energy-related carbon emissions. the challenge is to capture the emissions before they're released into the atmosphere. exxonmobil is a leader in carbon capture. our team is working to make this technology better, more affordable so it can reduce emissions around the world. that's what we're working on right now. ♪ energy lives here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ if you could see your cough, you'd see just how far it can spread. robitussin dm max is now better tasting, with the same fast powerful cough relief. robitussin dm max. because it's never just a cough. of reach for far too long:s have health insurance.that's been out how? they enrolled through covered california. it's the health insurance marketplace where you'll find a range of plans from leading health insurance companies that offer you the best combination of quality, rates, and benefits. and, through covered california, you may get financial help to pay for coverage. to have health insurance starting january 1

stella artois. host one to remember you ready?, every mom is an expert, and more likely to choose luvs than first time moms. live, learn, & get luvs. psh psh lunch is ready! campbell's spider-man soups. made for real, real life. thanks mom ♪ if you could see your cough, you'd see just how far it can spread. robitussin dm max is now better tasting, with the same fast powerful cough relief. robitussin dm max. because it's never just a cough. come on! why doesn't verizon offer unlimited data like t-mobile? is it because their lte network was built six years ago? six years ago? that's like a hundred... in phone years. their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. switch to t-mobile. the newer, faster, and unlimited network. we cover 99% of the americans verizon covers. get 4 lines, just $40 a month. rrowl. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( clears throat ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: so david o. russell is the director of this one, right? >> yeah. >> stephen: yeah. you worked with

stella artois.erwearstrong, dude.cleaner. so clean...keeps you could wear them a second day. charmin ultra strong. it's 4 times stronger, and you can use less enjoy the go with charmin. ( ♪ ) pain from chest congestion whecan make this...d, feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol® this year at t-mobile the holidays are on us for a limited time only buy a new samsung galaxy s7 and get one free. plus get unlimited everything with t-mobile one. hurry to t-mobile and get your holidays on us. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is an international superstar, and it gives me great pleasure to say, please welcome will smith! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> that's a good band. hey! ( cheers and applause ) let me go kiss that lady. i'm going to go kiss that lady. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) oh, man. hey! oh, man! whooo! (

stella artois. host one to remember enepeople want power.hallenge.s account for more than a third of energy-related carbon emissions. the challenge is to capture the emissions before they're released into the atmosphere. exxonmobil is a leader in carbon capture. our team is working to make this technology better, more affordable so it can reduce emissions around the world. that's what we're working on right now. ♪ energy lives here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ if you could see your cough, you'd see just how far it can spread. robitussin dm max is now better tasting, with the same fast powerful cough relief. robitussin dm max. because it's never just a cough. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody, the greatest band on television, the greatest band. ( cheers and applause ) folks, you're definitely going toment to tune in next week. we have some fantastic guests. mark wahlberg, miranda lambert, liam neeson, john goodman, james franco, neil patrick harris, and and a special performance from the

stella artois. host one to remember therthere is nothing typical about making movies.utive producer... ...at marvel studios. we are very much hands-on producers. if my office... ...becomes a plane or an airport the surface pro's perfect. fast and portable but also light. you don't do this 14 hours a day, 7 days a week for... ...decades if you don't feel it in your heart. listen, i know my super power is to not ever sleep. that's it. that's the only super power i have. (vo) it's the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you don't use. and right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only $40 per line. you'll even get the iphone 7, the samsung galaxy s7, the pixel phone by google, or the motoz droid absolutely free. hurry, these offers end soon. get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. generosity is its oyou can handle being a mom for half an hour. i'm in all the way. is that understood? i don't know what she's up to, but it's not good. can't t

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my new beer, stella artois, is finished. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an incredible actor, whom you may know from his work in the much buzzed about hbo series "the night of," which is great. also, films like "jason bourne" and "nightcrawler." anticipated new movie "rogue one: a star wars story," which opens in theaters and imax 3d december 16th. everybody, please welcome riz ahmed! ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to the show. thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. this is nuts. >> jimmy: no, please. we have such an amazing year. i want to get into all this. >> jimmy: do people recognized you from the "bourne" movies or from "the night of" in america? >> well, yes it's different between the uk and america. most americans just kind of know me from "the night of." so, in the uk, it's like, i don't know, people might stop the day. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it's a bit different in america. like people just shout from across the street. "yo, nas did you kill her?" [ laugh

stella artois.ome back, everybody. big show tonight. super fun, super fun. guys, it is time for "tonight show hashtags." ♪ ♪ hashtags hastags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. thank you, roots. guys, we use twitter on our show every single week. so, if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since it's the holiday season and everybody's singing christmas carols, i went on twitter and started a hashtag called new christmas carols. i asked you guys to tweet out modern day versions of famous holiday songs. we got thousands of tweets. a trending topic in the u.s. [ cheers and applause ] that's one minute faster than it normally trends. 14 minutes. so now i thought i'd share some of my favorite new christmas carols tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one's from @kelshuds. her song is -- ♪ jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way oh wha

stella artois. host one to remember come on!x years ago? that's like a hundred... in phone years! their lte network is older, slower and they limit you. switch to t-mobile, the newer, faster and unlimited network. we cover 99% of the americans verizon covers. switch your family of four to t-mobile and we'll give you $800 to spend anywhere you want. ♪ i said i really can't stay ♪ baby it's cold outside ♪ i have to go away ♪ baby it's cold outside ♪ i really can't stay ♪ baby it's cold outside! you never know who you'll meet at barnes & noble. therthere is nothing typical about making movies. i'm victoria alonso and i'm an executive producer... ...at marvel studios. we are very much hands-on producers. if my office... ...becomes a plane or an airport the surface pro's perfect. fast and portable but also light. you don't do this 14 hours a day, 7 days a week for... ...decades if you don't feel it in your heart. listen, i know my super power is to not ever sleep. that's it. h[w

stella artois. host one to remember oh look at this, a raisin re-hydrator. it turns them back into grapes. wow, what an exhausting journey. that's a good wedding present. good call. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. this one is from channel islands national park. coronado. saguaro. you'll see there's one that's an eagle. my number one goal is getting more funds out to parks in the world, and that's in some national parks. i find that's a great cause, and i want to support it. (avo) the subaru share the love event has donated over four million dollars to help the national parks. get a new subaru, and we'll donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. ?put a little love in your heart.? mom's got this cold. hashtag stuffy nose. hashtag no sleep. hashtag mouthbreather. up to 38% more than cold medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. and give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] and tonight sitting in on drums, eve

stella artois.(laughs..) here it is. ♪ ♪ hey dad! ♪ wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. fios is not cable. we're wired differently. so we're offering incredibly fast 150 meg internet, just in time for the holidays. hurry, freddy, you're gonna miss it! coming. i can't believe he is doing this. it's so fast that in the 3.7 seconds it takes gary watson to beat the local sled jump record, held by gary watson... fly, gary, fly. ...his friend can download 13 different versions of the perfect song... ...his sister can live stream it... ...while his mom downloads how to se a dislocated shoulder, all at the same time. gary. only fios offers 150 meg internet with equal upload and download speeds, tv and phone for just 79.99 per month online for the first year, plus a 200 dollar visa prepaid card with a two-year agreeme

stella artois. host one to remember sight. in the monterey bay. the video has already been viewed a half a million times ==reveal== and on our homepage: we continue to post updates -- breaking overnight of a truck that plowed into a crowd at a christmas market in berlin -- killing 12 people that truck is now being towed away. our next newscast is at this is my park. i'm like the mayor here. i know every bench, every tree, every squirrel -- -hey, what's up, andy. -andy: hey! same with my banking. with my bank of america mobile banking app, i can see my accounts all in one place. i can easily manage them and if something doesn't look right, i'm going to know. plus, i can set up alerts to help detect unusual activity. so i feel secure. in other words, no surprises. morning. hey, abby. like i said. the mayor. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about, huh? that was the best crowd ever. hey, thanks, guys. [ cheers and applause ] that's so fun. welcome. welcome back. guys, as you know, we always like to s

stella artois. host one to remember hey barbie! do you have anything i can borrow for the holiday party? of course! cute! save ten when you spend fifty pparelnd accessories at target. liberty mutual stood with me when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. i just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. my insurance company definitely doesn't have that... you can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you? exclusive performance for the gentleman, pilobolus! ? ? ? ? the low rider is a little higher ? slower ? low rider is a real goer ? low rider ? low rider don't use no gas now ? take a little trip take a little trip ? take a lttle trip take a little trip with me ( applause ) ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: pilobolus' "shadowland" begins touring nationwide next month! >> stephen: well, that's it for "the late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow when my guests will be octavia spencer, john mulaney, and musical guest travis scott. now stick around for james corden and his g

my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it.nce. stella artois. host one to remember come on, wake up!!! come on, why ya sleepin'? come on! what time is it? it's go time. come on. let's go, let's go, let's go. woooo hoooo!! yeah!! i feel like i went to bed an hour ago. i'll make the cocoa. get a great offer on the car of your grown-up dreams at the mercedes-benz winter event. it's the look on their faces that make it all worthwhile. thank you santa!!! now lease the 2017 c300 for $389 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. whatwho convinced you toone follow your dreams with one cross country road trip? the greatest gift for someone who gave you these moments is to give those moments back. dewar's the most awarded blended scotch in history. (vo) it's the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you don't use. and right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only $40 per line. and, just for the holidays, get the iphone

my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it.ed for the holidays. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember hi, we(laughter)lford quads. we're in 8th grade. technology is the only thing that really entertains us. i'm gonna use this picture on sketchbook, and i'm going to draw mustaches on you all. using the pen instead of fingers, it just feels more comfortable for me. be like, boop! it's gone. i like that only i can get into it and that it recognizes my fingerprint. our old tablet couldn't do that. it kind of makes you feel like you're your own person, which is a rare opportunity in my family. (laughter) ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know our first guest tonight from his academy award nominated performances in "12 years a slave" and as co-founder of apple "steve jobs." his new film "assassin's creed" based on the video game franchise is in theaters tomorrow. let's take a look. >> what is this? >> i'm sorry, cal. this is not the way i like to do things. >> then don't do it. [ yelling ] what do you want from

my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it. the party's starting! ♪ ♪ ♪ originally brewed for the holidays. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember imy moderate to severeng crohn's disease. i didn't think there was anything else to talk about. but then i realized there was. so, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. he said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had

stella artois.to remember hollywood's biggest stars. for and, with his vintage-inspired collection at kay jewelers, the inspiration for this ring goes back almost 100 years. it's based on an art deco design. over 50 diamonds, all hand-set. you know the saying, "they don't make 'em like they used to?" i still do. neil lane bridal. at kay... ...the number-one jewelry store for... yes. ♪ every kiss begins with kay. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome, back, everybody. please give it up for the 8 g band right over there. also we're so excited to have him back with us tonight. his band, the hold steady, just re-released deluxe editions of two classic albums, "almost killed me" and "separation sunday" on french kiss records. on vocals, the fantastic craig finn is here, everybody. give it up for craig. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks for having me. >> seth: so happy to have you here. also, everybody, we've got fred armisen on the drums. give it up for fred

stella artois.e to remember i'ts your tv, take it with you. with directv and at&t, stream live tv anywhere data-free. join directv today starting at $35/month. no extra monthly fees. ♪ ♪ ♪ lend him a helping hand. ♪ put a little love in your heart. ♪ ♪ take a good look around... ♪ ...and if you're lookin' down, ♪ ♪ put a little love in your heart. ♪ ♪put a little love in your heart.♪ ♪ in your heart. (avo) the subaru share the love event is happening now and will have given ninety million dollars to help real people like these. previously treated withd noplatinum-based chemotherapy, including those with an abnormal alk or egfr gene who've tried an fda-approved targeted therapy, this is big. a chance to live longer with opdivo (nivolumab). opdivo demonstrated longer life and is the most prescribed immunotherapy for these patients. opdivo significantly increased the chance of living longer versus chemotherapy. opdivo works with your immune system. opdivo can cause your immune system to attack normal o

my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. the people will love it.olidays. enjoyed ever since. stella artois. host one to remember (laughs..) here it is. ♪ ♪ hey dad! ♪ wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. oakland by 70% in the past 5 years -- forcing a lot of people into shared housiong. we found some warehousews -- which are safe -- like the vulcan lofts. we've posted that story on our website. ==reveal== and on our twitter feed... the raiders are in kansas city . and its freezing. this is a big thursday ngikht football against the chiefs. that game right here ♪ p is for privileges. o is for ordinarily i wouldn't. l is for layers of luxury. a is for alll the way back. r is for read my mind. and i... can't see a thing. s... see you in the morning. polaris, from united. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody! welcome back. welcome back! thank you for

stella artois.o the bay area right now. follow the updates on our twitter page. =add= and on our facebook page, we've just posted new details about the ongoing shooting investigation on eastbound 580 in oakland. the c-h-p shut down the freeway at the harrison street offramp for hours. two victims were rushed to highland hospital. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. big show tonight. super fun, super fun. guys, it is time for "tonight show hashtags." ♪ ♪ hashtags hastags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. thank you, roots. guys, we use twitter on our show every single week. so, if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since it's the holiday season and everybody's singing christmas carols, i went on twitter and started a hashtag called new christmas carols. i asked you guys to tweet out modern day versions of famous hol

stella artois.ans, but getting a new phone... usually means getting locked into a contract. there's a better way! with new straight talk plus, get a samsung galaxy s7 for as low as no contract. cancel any time, no penalties. it's time to ask yourself... ...why haven't i switched? add our unlimited plan... ...on america's largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. find out more at straighttalk.com and thanks to target, i got to the after party - this nice little outfit just in time using order pickup. stay fresh! get last minute gifts with order pickup at target. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, stevie wonder! ( cheers and applause ) >> can we hit it! no matter what happens, it's going to be okay! don't you worry about a thing! ♪ ♪ >> jon: whoa, come on! >> well, i tell you what's going to happen-- i wear what i believe. ♪ everybody's got a thing but some don't know how to handle it ♪ always reachin' out in vain just taking the things not worth havi

stella artois.s are on the best network. with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you don't use. and right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only $40 per line. you'll even get the iphone 7, the samsung galaxy s7, the pixel phone by google, or the motoz droid for only $10 per month. no trade-in required. hurry, these offers end soon. get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. wthe rest of the world... fades away. so i got you something... that stands out as beautifully... as you do. le vian at jared. jared works directly with le vian designers to bring you more exclusive pieces... than any other jewelry store in the world. like the le vian ombre bracelet... featuring le vian chocolate diamonds. the one gift as unique as she is. at the only store to find it. that's why he went to jared. ♪ ♪ >> anthony: even the jungle wanted him dead. the skrang river -- what's the line? -- snakes through the sarawak jungle like a main circuit cable. plug

stella artois. host one to remember hey, evan. so, you're stuck at a work thing.directv and at&t you can stream all your favorite shows without using your data. that makes you more powerful than a table for 60. wednesdays are the new thursdays! or the mandatory after party. how early is too early to leave? you're not going anywhere. i'm not going anywhere. it's your tv, take it with you. watch all your live directv channels, on at&t, data free. previously treated withd noplatinum-based chemotherapy, including those with an abnormal alk or egfr gene who've tried an fda-approved targeted therapy, this is big. a chance to live longer with opdivo (nivolumab). opdivo demonstrated longer life and is the most prescribed immunotherapy for these patients. opdivo significantly increased the chance of living longer versus chemotherapy. opdivo works with your immune system. opdivo can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in your body and affect how they work. this may happen any time during or after treatment has ended, and may become serious and lead

stella artois. host one to remember ah, family holiday party, huh greg?m at&t, you can download then watch your dvr'ed shows anywhere. that makes you more powerful than your gene pool. i'll trade you the candy cane for the eggnog. deal. or aunt jaxie's lack of boundaries. or uncle terry's over-commitment to holiday cheer. pretty good hiding place, gotta say. say that to the nanny cam. it's your tv, take it with you. now you can watch your dvr anywhere, at no extra cost, with directv from at&t. be a park ranger, i got really excited. gabe's obviously really sick. and there's a lot that he isn't able to do, and make-a-wish stepped in. we had to climb up the mountain to get the injured hiker. he fell from, like, a rock. he's been the one that has been rescued so many times. he said to me, "today, i got to be the hero." (avo) the subaru share the love event has helped grant the wishes of over twelve hundred kids so far. get a new subaru, and we'll donate two hundred and fifty dollars more to help those in need. ♪put a little love in your heart.♪ >>> for many