>> stephen: retweet? >> yes! >> stephen: really? >> yes! >> stephen: what! how was "i am tired?gs" is streaming now on netflix. millie bobby brown, everybody! ♪ ♪ crsugar is everywherets sugar shield and crest complete has a sugar shield to protect teeth from sugar found in everyday foods. crest complete. shield your teeth from sugar. so sugar may visit, but it's not sticking around my hygienist told me to try... ...a mouthwash. so i tried crest. it does so much more than give me fresh breath. crest pro-health mouthwash provides all of these benefits to help you get better dental check-ups. go pro with... ...crest pro-health mouthwash. checkup? nailed it. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: wow, what a show. i really loved doing that interview with de niro. it reminds me of a great little moment we had off camera that night with bobby. when we went to commercial bobby leans and he says to me, "stephen, we're not that close, please don't call me bobby." millie bobby brown said the same thing. what can i say? celeb life. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.

>> stephen: retweet? >> yes! >> stephen: really? >> yes! >> stephen: what! how was "i am tired?gs" is streaming now on netflix. millie bobby brown, everybody! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: wow, what a show. i really loved doing that interview with de niro. it reminds me of a great little moment we had off camera that night with bobby. when we went to commercial bobby leans and he says to me, "stephen, we're not that close, please don't call me bobby." millie bobby brown said the same thing. what can i say? celeb life. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ a thing no more it's gonna be just fine ♪ it's the late, late show ( cheers and applause ) >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from loredo, texas, give it up for your host the one, the only james corden!

>> stephen: no stephens. i grew up with no stephens.t to school with stephen collins, who was a bully. ( laughter ) sorry, stephen collins. >> stephen: i apologize on behalf of all stephens, i guess. i'm sorry about that. now, this is your second child. do you care-- ? >> as much? >> stephen: you worry less! ( laughter ) you worry less. i'm sure you care! >> do you care as much about this kid? >> stephen: yeah, whatever. do you worry as much? >> i feel i'm more relaxed. you have two, so. >> stephen: i have three, actually. >> you have three! >> stephen: oh, the third is like free-range. >> forget it! that one's raising itself, yeah. >> stephen: just throw some food on the floor, it's like a cat. put some water down, make sure the water's fresh. everything's fine. but you do worry less? >> well, i think you do, in that you're more relaxed, so the kid's quite zenned out. violet's like-- like, she's so relaxed, because i'm relaxed, i guess. >> stephen: oh, that's pleasant. relaxed mommy makes everybody happy. >> i know, seriously. >> steph

stephen! stephen! >> stephen: thanks so much. please, sit down. thanks very much. welcome to "late show,"" folks. i am so happy to be here. i'm your host, stephen colbert. you can can tell-- are you i'm feeling good this christmastime. almost all my christmas shopping is started. i'm ahead. i'm ahead. you know who's having a good christmas? donald trump. he got what he wanted for christmas-- america. and he's reguesting it to his buddies. he's appointed more people to his cabinet. yesterday, a miller was appointed to be his senior policy adviser. now, we don't know a lot about him. so far, we know he's a picker, a grinner, a lover, and sinner. some people call him maurice. during the campaign, stephen miller's job was to "warm up crowds before trump took the stage at rallies." "all right, welcome to the rally. hey, where are you guys from? okay. we're going to deport you back to there." trump's cabinet is really taking shape, and it's important, it takes shape, because there's this thing called the line of succession. it involves most of the cabinet. it goes presid

>> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: thanks so much, everybody, please, sit down. much. welcome to "the late show," folks. i am so happy to be here. i'm your host, stephen colbert. you can tell-- ( cheers and applause ) you can tell, are you excited for the holidays, coming up? ( cheers and applause ) it's very-- i love it. i'm feeling good. i'm feeling good this christmastime. all my christmas shopping is almost started. i'm ea >> jon: almost there, right? >> stephen: i'm ahead. hey, you know who's having a good christmas? donald trump. he got what he wanted for christmas-- america. and he's regifting it to his buddies. he's appointed some more people to his cabinet. yesterday, a guy named stephen miller was appointed to be his senior policy adviser. now, we do not know a lot about him. so far, all we know is, he's a picker, he's a grinner, he's a lover, and he's a sinner. and, some people call him maurice. now, this is the dope on this guy: during the campaign, stephen miller's job was to "warm up crowds before trump took the stage at rallies." "all

>> stephen: yeah. it's just begun to happen baby. >> okay. >> stephen: yeah. >> >> stephen: yeah. >> i don't think my voice fits with your big stick. >> stephen: oh, okay, yeah, that's cool. have a great-- have a great show. i should-- i should get-- i should go. what was that? hey! that's a great idea! why don't we both dijerydoo. are you down to double dijerydo? >> i guess. >> stephen: okay, great, doo. >> stephen: oh, really? what's that behind your ear? ( laughter ) here you go. five, six, seven, 8. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes matthew broderick ali wentworth and musical guest fergie. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) colombia. >> stephen: hey! hey, everybody! hey, mark. how you doing, chris? >> jon: hey! >> stephen: what's going on? philosophical. >> jon: philosophical. >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome to "the late show." i am stephen

>> stephen: welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. i'm so excited to be here tonight with you guys. ( cheers and applause ) it's an amazing crowd tonight. ( cheers and applause ) even better-- even better than the crowd last night. i hosted the kennedy center honors last night, it's going to broadcast-- when? december 28th, right? something like that. check your local listings. ( laughter ) but only cbs. going to be on cbs. and it's a huge honor to be there. you know, because you're there with all these artists. they have got the rainbow ribbons around their neck, the kennedy center thing, and the president and the first lady are there. and you're backstage with all these legends, because it's legends honoring legends. and last night i got to meet ringo starr! ( cheers and applause ) yeah! that's exactly what i said when i saw him! and do you know what ringo starr says to everybody he sees, whether it's, like, an individual or, like, a crowd? he says this-- ( laughter ) >> jon: two deuces! >> stephen: exactly, he does this to everybod

stephen! hello? >> stephen: adrienne, are you here to help me with my dilemma? >> yes, promote my show. it's easy. all you have to do is say watch victoria secret's fashion show on cbs december 5. >> do it, stephen! >> stephen: does this only work if you two take opposite sides? >> what is it? look, i'll take whatever you've got. why don't we grab a bite to ( ding ) >> stephen: wow, you blew that one, old man! >> announcer: it is "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight stephen welcomes lauren graham and justin long. live from tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! yeah! hey! how's it going? ( cheers and applause ) whoo! please! please! have a seat, everybody. thank you so much for being here. welcome to the "late show." i'm stephen colbert. how's everyone doing? ( cheers and applause ) that is good to hear. that is good to hear. like america, i continue to exist. and with roughly seven weeks until he takes office, president-elect donald trump still has a few things he's researching. needs to figure out, l

>> stephen: yeah. jeepers! >> stephen: a little down. yeah? up if you see him. >> santacon. >> stephen: so close, too. he would get action at the actual santa con. >> i know that. >> stephen: of course, you're friends with santa. >> i know santa. i haven't seen him lately. >> stephen: oh, okay. anyway -- >> stephen: anyway, merry christmas? >> yeah. and merry christmas to you, too. >> stephen: thank you very much. >> and merry christmas to all my friends. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: are you a big christmas guy? you got all the decorations up and all that fun stuff? >> yeah, my wife bought, like, a bonsai christmas tree on crumbs avenue and she's in the midst of decorating it. >> stephen: really? yeah, we were going to get a 50-footer and displace the people upstairs. but i'm only in the neighborhood another month or so. >> stephen: you don't live in new york full time. you're here because you're on broadway. ( cheers and applause ) you're doing the front page at the broad hurst theater. >> yes, i am. >> stephen: you're in the middle of

>> stephen: no. there it is. >> oh, it's in the banana. >> stephen: yeah, we have the technology. >> huh-oh. >> stephen: what you have got there? >> " -- good news, if you have a deadly banana allergy, all your problems will soon be over. ( applause ) >> stephen: congratulations! that's it for the "late show"'s goo"good news bananas"! we'll be right back with lauren graham! ( ally cat playing ) ? music: it's a small world after all ? luding the new world of color season of light show... ( cheers and applause ) ? >> stephen: hey! welcome back, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) my first guest is a golden globe-nominated actress and author known for her roles on "gilmore girls," "parenthood" and "gilmore girls." >> let's get peruvian papas and -- >> and head straight stomach pump. >> i have to leave in half an hour. >> i can't leave. have a plane to catch. who's going to get back to the diner? >> i can watch her but you have to be back in 45 minutes to relieve me. >> i have been successfully eating by

>> stephen: not one.not one. and you know the party is lame when the band doesn't want to come. >> jon: man. >> stephen: you know what, ask the chess team, maybe they'll go. we're going to stay home and clean our spit val ofs. they are so desperate, according to insiders the trump team dangled ambassadorships to lure a-list inauguration singers. that sounds great. prime minister netanyahu, ambassador gaga is here to see you, bibi gaga gaga bibe. so it looks like the inautomatic-- inaugust rail bt taint-- entertainment is just going to be the trump family jug band. (applause) we have a great show for you tontd, james franco is here. when we return, my friend gil peaches will be reviewing movies in a very with a very special guest, stick around. >> stephen: give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: merry christmas. >> jon: merry christmas. >> jon: merree christmas. hope you have a very happy one. >> jon: you too. >> stephen: well, folks, a lot of people love do

>> stephen, stephen, stephen stephen! >> stephen: what's going on? what's up? >> stephen! stephen! ? ? ? ( cheers ) >> stephen: that's awfully nice. thanks, everybody. that's lovely. wooo! ( cheers ) >> stephen: please, everybody, thank you so much. wow. welcome to "the late show." so glad you're here. i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's lovely to be back. we haven't seen you guys for a week. i hope you guys-- everybody have a good thanksgiving? ( cheers and applause ) i did, too. i had a fantastic-- jon, you were there. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: here's something i discovered this thanksgiving. i discovered if you bury your face in the pecan pie, it absorbs your screams. ( laughter ) and best part is, after you-- it's true-- after you put your face in it, you get to have the whole pie. you just keep shovel it in there, and if you keep the pie in your mouth, you don't have time to yell at rick. >> jon: i remember that. >> stephen: so, anyway, what's happening, guys? seriously, what the hell is going on? ( laughter ) i haven't been watching the news much, the last week, and i just w

stephen: yeah.( laughter ) >> stephen: hmmm. >> you know, stephen? >> stephen: yeah, will? >> how do you want to be thought of by your great-great grandchildren? >> stephen: oh, i think i'd like them to think of me as still being alive. ( laughter ) >> yeah. >> stephen: you know? >> yeah, that would be good. >> stephen: hey, will? >> yes, stephen. >> stephen: with all these new medical advancements, how long do you think humans will be able to live? >> well, not long enough to watch your whole netflix queue. >> stephen: probably not, probably not. ( laughter ) >> stephen? >> stephen: yeah, will. >> do you ever wonder if we're all, like, just inside of some dog's dream? ( laughter ) >> stephen: no, because if we were, then there wouldn't be vacuum cleaners. ( laughter ) >> oh! ah. well, unless it's a nightmare. >> stephen: true, good point. ( barking ) >> yeah. what do you want on your gravestone? >> stephen: i think, "well, i thought it was funny." ( lau