i'm your host stephen colbert.now i'm going to say -- ( cheers and applause ) i'm going to say something i didn't think was possible anymore: i'm shocked by something donald trump said. ( laughter ) i thought, by now, my soul had calcified into a crouton. ( laughter ) not true because today, the president of the united states tweeted, "i heard poorly rated @morning joe speaks. badly of me. don't watch anymore. ( laughter ) then, "how come low i.q.-crazy mika, along with psycho joe, came, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, to mar-a-lago three nights in a row around new year's eve, and insisted on joining me. she was bleeding badly from a face-lift. i said no!" ( audience reacts ) where to begin? ( laughter ) it's a buffet of (bleep). ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) first of all -- a steam table, as it were. ( laughter ) first of all, someone bleeding badly at your door, and you say no? sounds like your health care plan. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> jon: whoa! >> stephen: i mean, turning them awa

captioning sponsored by cbs hi, i'm stephen colbert.there have been some rumors lately that i'm in russia. that's ridsic lus. after all the vinings i've said about vladimir putin, i would be crazy to go to moscow, so please, i'm in new york. if i wasn't, where i woo i get a new york yankees hat. why would i have a new york hot dog? how would i have printed out yesterday's copy of "the new york times"? (speaking russian). >> stephen: grassia, senorita. now i'm going to go to a knicks game. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. tonight he welcome welcomes michael keaton, zooey kazan and tom shilue,

." >> gr i'm stephen colbert. >> father's day's is this weekend but every year one subset of fathers is overlooked. >> we're talking about hot tv dads. >> people like me who play dads on tv and are hot. >> stephen: it's not easy for us. just keep reading the thing. >> this year we want to take time out to say happy father's day to all the over-looked and over-worked hot tv dads. >> coach taylor "friday night lights." >> sam benis, private practice. >> bob belcher from bob's burgers. this father's day, remember us, super hot tv dads. >> and here's something to help you remember. >> stephen: let me join you there. >> please. >> stephen: daddy's been bad! >> happy father's day. ( cheers and applause ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes scarlett johansson. bill burr. and musical guest fleet foxes. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! that's right, that's right! that's nice. that's crisp. that's crisp. thanks, everybody! t

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! that's right, that's right! that's nice. that's crisp. that's crisp. thanks, everybody! thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. and it is-- it is friday. ( cheers and applause ) once again we have made it through the week to friday. you can feel the friday vibe in the crowd. it is unmistakable. these are people ready to cut loose right here, cut footloose. , of course, big news this week is that special counsel robert mueller is investigating donald trump for obstruction of justice. ( cheers and applause ) it's a friday crowd. that's a friday crowd right but trump's got a plan. there. i think he's going to be the first person ever to settle his presidency out of court. ( laughter ) and as always, donald trump-- he's a fighter, you know, he's a street fighter. he punches back. he's fighting back on twitter. yesterday he tweeted: i don't know. maybe because those people are the nonpresident. "everybody else g

and that's stephen colbert. a tourist caught the picture and posted it to twitter. stephen retweeted it saying to president trump, don't worry, mr. president. i'm in russia. if the tapes exist, i'll bring you back a copy. he's there taping something for an upcoming show but his reps won't tell us anymore than that. we can at least verify it's a real photo. >> kind of had that sasquatch inwalkg through. we'll be right back. hi guys. in the desert.be here. at the mall. on the mountain. at school. at the beach. in the big easy. yeah yeah today i want to show you guys the next-gen chevy equinox. what do you think? that's pretty. pretty sexy. it looks aggressive. but not overbearing. it's not too big. not too small. seems like the perfect car for anybody. i would take it anywhere. she's a bad mama jama. (laughter) current qualified gm lessees can get this introductory lease on the all-new 2018 chevy equinox for around $249 a month. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. >>> this is a night local basketball fans soon will not forget. dc's own markelle fultz gets to liv

. >> stephen colbert the late night i have my low and camelia from this is is.eautiful show. >> i might cry during the interview. >> i might cry as well. >> the late show with stephen colbert is coming your way tonight 11:35 after >> the painting depicts a smiling john street with city sky line in the background. he served as mayor from 2000 to 200 12k3w4r-8 plans to liven up sea isle city entertainment scene hit a roadblock. they voted done a proposal to extend outdoor music and dipping hours on the boards walk. some residents complained to lawmakers it's already noisy enough with cut off time at 9 . business community supported the proposal. >>> philadelphia has a new distinction it's now officially a national treasure. the national trust for historic preservation gave designation to philadelphia historic neighborhoods and the organization says it signify as i long term commitment to explore preservation tools with city leaders and developers and that encourage growth without compromising each of the neighbor's authentic character. >> and climate change could

stephen colbert. i'd like to thank my colleagues for allowing me to be in here and i do call you my colleagues even though i'm not a senator and i'm only here because i want a radio call in contest, where the hits are so old we replace their hips. what was i? right. mr. comey, is there any evidence that president trump colluded with russia. >> not a question i can answer in an open setting. >> stephen: what if we i had made a pillow, would you tell me in there? >> no. >> stephen: can you give me a hint? >> no. >> stephen: how about i ask a question in a different way. let's say you had anker orange cat, really fat and lies a lot. would the cat enjoy drinking vodka? >> difficult to say in the abstract. >> stephen: i admit that's a reach. we're not getting anywhere and security will drag me out. i'll make it easy. you don't have to respond with words. just signal in any way, did donald trump collude with the russians? ( laughter ) ( applause ) got it. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colb

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: what's going on? >> jon: i see you! i see you! >> stephen: thank you so much, everybody. welcome to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. guess who's back? hillary clinton. ( cheers and applause ) she emerged from the woods. just this afternoon, she appeared here in new york at an event hosted by "women for women international." and the moderator, christiane amanpour, interviewed secretary clinton and asked her about the 2016 campaign. >> what do you imagine your election as the first female president of the united states might have said to the world and to the women of the world who were looking for validation, for somebody to shatter that highest and hardest ceiling? >> oh, i think it would have been a really big deal. and i think that um... ( applause ) >> stephen: yeah, it would have been a big deal. ( laughter ) but if "ifs" and "buts" were clusters of nuts, donald trump wouldn't be president

( laughter ) got it. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight stephen welcomes john mulaney, richard branson and musical guest halsey, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! we're not going to let you hang there! what's wrong? jonathan, what's going on? ( audience chanting stephen ) >> stephen: thanks! have a se you're very kind, ladies and gentlemen. folks, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert ( cheers and applause ) happy st. comey's day, everybody! of course, everybody celebrates comey day if their own way. we're kind of traditionalists around here. we watched tv and wrote jokes. everybody was looking forward to the former f.b.i. director testifying about all the juicy details of his meetings with donald trump. because, remember, comey wrote everything down. and all his memos are going to be collected in his new children's book: "james and the guilty orange." ( cheers

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) that's right. hey, what's going on? thanks very much. welcome to "the late show." thank you very much for being here. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) hey, you remember how the republicans have been promising to repeal and replace obamacare for seven years now? yeah. it's their most consistent message other than "turn down that hip-hop racket, you kids!" and this is the week because senate majority leader and unacknowledged love child of admiral akbar, mitch mcconnell -- so sad. so sad. won't return his phone calls. ( laughter ) -- has promised he will pass trumpcare before the july 4th recess. and he has got to, because mcconnell knows if they don't pass it now, there's a serious danger someone might read it. no, it's true. it will happen. ( cheers and applause ) they're teaching the kids. they're teaching the kids how to read now, it's dangerous. so, come hell or high water, the vo

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, what's going on! hey, everybody! that's nice. ( cheers and applause ) what's up? welcome to "the late show." thank you so much. have a seat. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. everyone out there-- i'm sure you know everyone is talking about america's favorite new reality tv show, "so you think you can testify about russia." today's contestant: attorney general and last surviving little rascal, jeff sessions. ( laughter ) i think he was spanky. i think he was spanky, wasn't he? >> jon: that was spanky. >> stephen: anyway, as soon as sessions sat down, everyone had the same question: it are you now, or have you ever hidden any pots of gold? ( laughter ) committee chair richard burr started by reminding us this was to be a non-partisan affair. >> i'm hopeful that members will focus their questions today on the russia investigation and not squander the opportunity by taking political or partisan shots. >> stephen: okay, no p

i'm from "this is us." >> gr i'm stephen colbert. >> father's day's is this weekend but every year oneet of fathers is overlooked. >> we're talking about hot tv dads. >> people like me who play dads on tv and are hot. >> stephen: it's not easy for us. just keep reading the thing. >> this year we want to take time out to say happy father's day to all the over-looked and over-worked hot tv dads. >> coach taylor "friday night lights." >> sam benis, private practice. >> bob belcher from bob's

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! en: hey, how are you! hey, good to see you, chris! ( cheers and applause ) thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you very much. e

>>> stephen colbert is next. our next newscast is at 4:30. >> and i have a feeling they'll have highlights. have a good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> thursday, thursday, thursday. one day only. live on capitol hill. james comey ground-stopping, heart-pounding mayhem. watch the nitro-fueled former f.b.i. director take questions from the scorchin senate intelligence committee under the thundersdome feature: >> when an individual is the target of an investigation-- >> yeah! >> the oh, zark gator tom cotton, and senator truckasaurus. live at the smokin' u.s. capitol hill drag strip. kids under five admitted free. first 30 fans take home a congressman. this thursday, thursday, thursday, watch the big man testify! >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes tilda swinton. andy cohen. and jordan klepper. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, hey! hey, eve

captioning sponsored by cbs hi, i'm stephen colbert. there have been some rumors lately that i'm in russia. that's ridsic lus. after all the vinings i've said about vladimir putin, i would be crazy to go to moscow, so please, i'm in new york. if i wasn't, where i woo i get a new york yankees hat. why would i have a new york hot dog? how would i have printed out yesterday's copy of "the new york times"? (speaking russian). >> stephen: grassia, senorita. now i'm going to go to a knicks game. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. tonight he welcome welcomes michael keaton, zooey kazan and tom shilue, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: whooo! (cheers and applause) whooo! thanks. good to see you! (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome to the late show, i'm your host, stephen colbert. man, it is good to be back in the u.s.a. (cheers and applause) i don't know if you knew this, but i was in russia la

>> it's the "late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, stephen welcomes amy schumer and gabourey sidibe. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: woooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: what's going on? >> jon: i see you! i see you! >> stephen: thank you so much, everybody. welcome to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. guess who's back? hillary clinton. ( cheers and applause ) she emerged from the woods. just this afternoon, she appeared here in new york at an event hosted by "women for women international." and the moderator, christiane amanpour, interviewed secretary clinton and