i'm your host stephen colbert. >> it took him months, maybe about a year before he found his traction. and the question was when he ditches the conservative pundit persona that he used throughout "the colbert report," is he going to be able to consistently amuse people and be outrageous? >> you, donald trump, are a horrible, horrible human being. >> by february, colbert edged out long-time rival jimmy fallon when he ripped apart trump's press conference. >> to be honest, i inherited a mess. >> no, you inherited a fortune. we elected a mess. >> colbert never let up, growing more vocal and more vicious as time passed. >> i have the constitutional right to say that donald trump looks like a rotting haystack made of meat, but you cannot. >> trump gave new life to all the late night hosts. >> he's a human what is wrong with this picture. >> trump keeps creating the material. he's like a mine producing raw material. >> he's just going to look them in the camera and say, isis, stop it. >> have you ever seen anything like this in another presidency? >> there's never been anything like this in

. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, trump's gofundme page. plus, stephen welcomes dana carvey and simon pegg featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: thank you, everybody! sit down! thank you very much. lovely, lovely. welcome, welcome. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. i'll tell you, the darned stormy daniels scandal just will not go away for donald trump, no matter how many times he clears his browser history. ( laughter ) i have the latest, salacious legal motions in tonight's "stormywatch." ( cheers and applause ) huge developments yesterday, when storm' aternal-- ( laughter ) stormy daniels' internal attorney, michael avanetti, filed a motion seeking to depose president donald trump and his lawyer michael cohen. that means trump is going to have to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions under oath like, "did you have an affair with stormy daniels?" and, "is this now or has it

and on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! i apologize. hey, everybody! welcome! welcome! thanks everybody. welcome to "the late show," ladies and gentlemen. i'm your host stephen colbert. who here watched the oscars? ( cheering ) i absolutely wanted to, but i went to a school play. that's the kind of hollywood juice i have. i can get tickets to a school play. my buddy jimmy kimmel hosted, i hear he did a great job. yeah. ( cheers and applause ) theoretical congratulations jimmy. ( laughter ) so many friends of the show won last night. jordan peele, guillermo del toro, sam rockwell, allison janney. i was disappointed that greta gerwig didn't win for "lady bird," and that, of 24 awards, women won only six. what happened? did the women blow all their lady points on the first female colonel sanders? ( laughter ) it's a milestone but still... ( piano riff ) this was also the first oscars without harvey weinstein, so -- ( cheers and applause ) -- everyone could breathe a lit

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) >> stephen: hello! hey, everybody! how are you! thank you! thank you, folks. listen, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) here's the thing, i want to make something clear-- the way i do my job is to make myself aware of what happened today, what everybody is talking about, and then i try to make sense of it for you with some jokes so we can all go to sleep. well, i know i'm going to be staring at a hole in the ceiling tonight, because i have no explanation for what happened this afternoon. the president invited members of congress for a bipartisan meeting to address gun violence in america, and that's great. we need to find any solution that doesn't involve an imaginary donald trump stopping an attack with karate. ( applause ) i think that's karate, isn't it? ( laughter ) now, trump immediately made clear the real obstacle to gun control-- barack obama. >> 97% of americans want universal backgroun

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. ewscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night. welcome back. captioning sponsored by cbs >> i'm anderson cooper. lesley stahl. bill whitaker. >> stephen: and i'm teach stephen. tonight my interview of anderson cooper's interview of stormy daniels. ms. daniels, thank you for sitting with me today. i respect anderson cooper but i believe he left important questions unasked. do you agree? >> of course. >> stephen: first and obviously this is a delicate sufnlgt do you have pictures of the president's -- shall we say executive branch? >> yes. >> stephen: all right, okay. and does it look like either one of these images -- a decorative gourd or a circusnu

>> may he rest in peace. ( sound of toilet flushing ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert

it's "the late show with stephen colbert."

. >>> still ahead on "eyewitness news" this morning, late night breang news head lining guest stephen colbert has announced coming up next month >>> speaking of the late show oprah winfrey makes a appearance on last night's show and, stephen colbert, staged run for president. >>> plus another live look outside, this is a live look at ben franklin parkway on a rainy/snowy morning we will be right back with more coverage, coming up. packing to the last minute. guys, i have a couple of things to wash we got this. even on quick cycle, tide pods cleans great 6x the cleaning power, even in the quick cycle it's got to be tide kelp is on the way! with herbal essences bio:renew made with active antioxidants that work from the inside out... to help animate lifeless hair. let life in with herbal essences bio:renew. get a steak. not just any steak. steak on the bone. the steak that made 'meat lovers' meat lovers. eat like nothing else in the world will do. because, tonight, nothing else will do. longhorn's bone-in bold flavor. the outlaw ribeye, pork porterhouse or the grilled lamb chops. the feeling. th

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next.s tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great evening. >> no more lines? >> it was a good movie, not a great movie. >> stay classy. captioning sponsored by cbs >> our countdown to the oscars and the magic behind the movie revealed. >> tonight, could oscar gold be taking shape? the shape of water with the most nominations, 13. >> hi! i'm danny. owner and operator of danny's porn shack, recently, it was announced that the shape of water was nominated for 13 academy awards. spoiler alert -- she does it with the fish man. so, clearly, people are hungry to watch hot aquatic action. we here at danny's have all your fish porn needs, including when hall but met sally, banging nemo, the godfather part threeway, 20,000 orgasms under the sea.

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! s>> stephen: hey, how are you? thank you very much! hey, everybody! jon, come oman! what was that? hey! come on! look at that! come on. that's a wednesday audience. you can't fake that! ( laughter ) welcome to "the late show,"" ladies and gentlemen. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. you know, with d.c. running like a well-oiled grease fire, trump is taking some time away from the office. yesterday, he headed to california to look at the eight prototypes for his border wall, including, the classic, the pretend sky, ribbed for no one's pleasure, prison yard, and, of course, no fatties. ( laughter ) but, folks, folks, remember, these aren't just any walls! the eight finalists have been tested in a real-world border environment. so... outside? with land? i don't know. now, the winning wall has to be chosen based on factors like cost and environmental impact, so trump can't show any favoritism today. in fact, anything that seems to break from the r

ask him. >> he will get tough questions from stephen colbert, i'm sure, hard-hitting questions degree of arrogance. typically when he came to testify before congress, he liked to do it without notes. he would try to hit that five minute time line just he could. there are so many things that he didn't do. even when we ask him questions, under oath, he was not candid. >> sean: he lied? >> there was a point right after he let hillary clinton go when i asked him if you look to the questioning under oath would hillary clinton was under oath from jim jordan in the benghazi committee, did she lie or not? they didn't even look at it, did not consider it. >> sean:dn unbelievable. guys, great analysis, appreciate it. when we come back, prominent democrats are receiving calls to resign because they have ties to the racist, radical, anti-semite, crazy louis farrakhan. that's next. ♪ >> sean: a follow-up tonight and an explosive daily call report. democratseven house including liberals like maxine waters, keith ellison, have direct ties to the racist, anti-semitic character that is known as

devin nunes is reacting to a segment stephen colbert did mocking him and his release of that g.o.p.lls it a danger, whether he is right or whether it is just a joke. >> my own memo i have officially released today, i'm going to give you a sneak peek. it's been redacted. ♪ stopping for more pills right now. only aleve has the strength to stop tough pain for up to 12 hours with just one pill. tylenol can't do that. aleve. all day strong. all day long. and for pain relief and a good night's rest, try aleve pm for a better am. ♪ >> trish: growing questions about mainstream media bias. devin nunes walking to a segment on the late show with stephen colbert where the comedian went to capitol hill to interview lawmakers. >> i have my own memo that i have officially released today and i am going to give you a sneak peak. it's been redacted. can you read what's on the memo? >> the memo says investigation update. devin nunes is -- and then it's redacted." >> could be anything, we don't know. do you have any guess as to what it might say underneath there? >> californian. former dairy farmer. >>

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) >> stephen: please, have a seat. sit down, everybody. you're too night. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert, the one person donald trump hasn't fired... yet. because this morning, president trump fired secretary of state rex tillerson. and that really, really is is a shame. because rex tillerson was clearly having such a good time. the strange part about this... is everything. but strangest of all is how trump told him: via tweet. "mike pompeo, director of the c.i.a., will become our new secretary of state. he will do a fantastic job! thank you to rex tillerson for his service! gina haspel will become the new director of the c.i.a., and the first woman so chosen. congratulations to all!" ( laughter ) wait, "congratulations to all?" "congratulations to all?" "congratulations, rex. you've won an all-expense-paid trip to beautiful "get the ( bleep ) out of here. and as a parting gift, we got you this beautiful door, which we hope does not hit you

. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, facebook unfriended. plus, stephen welcomes hillary swank thomas middleditch and comedian rory albanese featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks! hey, everybody! organization eoh, my gosh. oh, my goodness. ing with, welcome, welcome, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy first dave spring. congratulations, you made it to a blizzard tomorrow, i think, in new york? oh, hey, does anybody here use facebook? ( cheers ) still? ( laughter ) because the company is reeling from revelations that they allowed the private information of 50 million americans to be harvested by the trump campaign's consulting firm cambridge analytica. cambridge analytica, by the way ( booing ) yeah, i know. cambridge analytica, by the way, also the scientific name for john oliver. ( laughter ) now, if you're classifying him. stick him on i pain in your collecti

and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you very much! hey! hi! jon, come on. a little springtime, the cherry blossoms are out. ( audience chanting stephen ) hey, how are you? gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. absolutely beautiful. ( cheers and applause ) hey! please, sit down everybody! thank you so much. please have a seat. you're very kind. thanks so much. ladies and gentlemen, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. just when you-- ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) just when you think there can't be more presidential porn star news, suddenly there's a bumper crop. "bump her crop," by the way, one of stormy daniels' most popular movies. ( laughter ) not sure what that would be about, a very firm disciplinarian farmhand, i think. ( laughter ) now, stormy recently sat down with anderson cooper for the "60 minutes," and rumor is that interview is going to be on this sunday-- we don't know, but we th

and robert mueller in a cage. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, trump loves a parade. plus, stephen welcomes: john oliver. beanie feldstein. and wolfgang puck. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey! how are you? thanks for being here. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: i apologize. i didn't mean to scare you. thanks so much. please have a seat, everybody, very nice. ladies and gentlemen, welcome one, welcome all. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know-- ( cheers and applause ) here's the thing, here's the thing-- we kid the president. but you've got to admit, he's one of a kind. no one comes up with dumber ideas. at this point, he's really his own competition. he's the usain bolt of stupid. ( laughter ) >> jon: ♪ he run fast >> stephen: and, his latest record-setting dumb: trump told the pentagon to plan a military parade. all right, ch

live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city it's stephen colbert! rs and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hello, everybody! please have a seat, everybody. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) today, the president was in ohio talking about infrastructure. check your calendars. it's always infrastructure week. and talking about construction brought back happy memories. >> that is what i do, is, i build. i was always very good at building. it was always my best thing. i think, better than being president! >> stephen: oh, don't sell yourself short, sir. you suck at both. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) infrastructure... and trump reminisced about his favorite part of building. >> i love the smell of a construction site. right? there's just something about it! >> stephen: "i love it. it's the smell of loans from dad and looming bankruptcy." ( laughter ) aaahhh! ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) but, again, this was an infrastructure rally, so he talked about "roseanne." >> even look at

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>> announcer: it's the "late show" with stephen colbert! tonight unliking facebook. plus stephen welcomes bryan cranston and president jimmy carter featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! right over there! that's really nice. hey, everybody! please have a seat. that. now, that is a good audience. that right there is a good audience. i didn't think it was possible but they might be better than last night's audience right now. ( cheers and applause ) not only are they louder, not only are they more excited, they're more attractive than last night's audience. they just keep getting prettier. ( cheers and applause ) well, welcome to "the late show," i'm your host stephen colbert, and it is friday. it is friday. ( cheers and applause ) thank you, lord. thank you, lord. it is friday. everybody have big plans for the weekend? a lot going on this weekend. ( cheering ) you got anything going on this weekend? >> jon: yeah, i'm goin

live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! thanks very much! welcome, welcome, welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) are you guys enjoying march madness? ( cheering ) speaking of madness, donald trump. we're on the brink of another crisis because it really feels like trump is gearing up to fire special counsel and guy wondering how much he'll get for his book deal, robert mueller. this saturday, trump's attorney and shaved peter pettigrew, john dowd, called for "the immediate shutdown of the special counsel probe into russian interference in the 2016 election." dowd made the demand in a email sent to a reporter that was written in purple comic sans. ( laughter ) really! sounds inappropriate until you remember that the declaration of independence was originally written in wingdings. ( laughter ) yeah. really worries us, folks, is that the next day, trump tweeted -- "why does the mueller team have 13 hardene

michel . >>> late show with stephen colbert is next.wscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. >> i am dinging up bones. >> i am digging up bones. captioning sponsored by cbs >> jared kushner now has less access to high-level information. the white house downgrade his clearance from top secret and sensitive to secret level. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> it's "the late

michel . >>> late show with stephen colbert is next.rning at 4:30 a.m. >> i am dinging up bones.

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next.newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night. welcome back. >> male announcer: the following program is sponsored by mercy ships. they're desperate. children and parents line up by the thousands for a chance to get the surgery that will save them. many have suffered for most of their lives, living in the shadows. they've been outcast, shunned, treated as subhuman. children with painful burns

lauren will breakdown the timing after a short break the late show with stephen colbert is coming at 11:35 the late show with stephen colbert is coming at 11:35 after eyewitness news. >> and a pretty big coastal storm starting to make its mark on the tri-state region. live look at ocean city shows rain is falling and worst of the storm is yet to come meteorologist lauren casey will have the complete forecast coming up in five minutes. >> and perks and work what makes employees the happiest does not involve money. >> nicole brewer joins us now with what workers value the most. >> when it comes to employee he perks this research found it's all about making employee feel valued interpret contributing to qualify of life and encouraging strong paperwork life balance. >> with much of the day occupied by the job it's hard to like what you do. >> every pronl account i i work on it different and i like that. >> being with children and doing what i love. >> i like to go to lots of different places and see how things are made. >> different career panels and one common goal. job satisfaction. a

lauren will breakdown the timing after a short break the late show with stephen colbert is coming at 11:35 the late show with stephen colbert is coming at 11:35 after eyewitness news. >> and a pretty big coastal storm starting to make its mark on the tri-state region. live look at ocean city shows rain is falling and worst of the storm is yet to come meteorologist lauren casey will have the complete forecast coming up in five minutes. >> and perks and work what makes employees the happiest does not involve money. >> nicole brewer joins us now with what workers value the most. >> when it comes to employee he perks this research found it's all about making employee feel valued interpret contributing to qualify of life and encouraging strong paperwork life balance. >> with much of the day occupied by the job it's hard to like what you do. >> every pronl account i i work on it different and i like that. >> being with children and doing what i love. >> i like to go to lots of different places and see how things are made. >> different career panels and one common goal. job satisfaction. a

. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight stormy daniels/daniels. plus, stephen welcomes reese witherspoon. adam rippon. and musical guests ben harper and charlie musselwhite. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! thank you very much. hey! ♪ what's up please, have a seat, everybody. please, have a seat. sit, sit, sit! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. i'm so haep-- i'm so happy you could join us out there. but i'm especially happy that these people could join us in here, after mushing their sled dogs through the midtown tundra to join us here at the ed sullivan igloo! truly the heroes. truly the heroes. most valuable players out there tonight. new york is gripped by a blizzard tonight. everywhere you looked, new york kids were making snowmen instead of their usual garbage bag men. stay safe out there, everybody-- especially donald trump, because there's a whole other storm... ( cheers and appl

>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, job! jobs! jobs! , stephen welcomes helen mirren and musical guest david byrne. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey, how are you? good to see you! please, have a seat. you're very kind. thank you very much. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's friday, we have that friday feeling here tonight. as muchaur you're excited for the weekend-- and i'm sure are you ( cheers and applause ) so am i, super excited, no one in this world is looking forward to this weekend more than the people who work at the white house-- assuming anyone still works there-- because they're having trouble hanging on to staff. it's the tight job market. the latest to leave was chief economic advisor and man identifying donald trump in court, gary cohn. but trump put on a brave face, after cohn left, tweeting, "will be making a decision soon on the ap

and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! thanks! have a seat, everybody! thank you so much for being here. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) just like the rest of america, i tuned in to "60 minutes" last night to see the big story that everybody's talking about -- the profile of greek n.b.a. superstar giannis anteokounmpo. happy saganaki to the greek community. but before that, "60 minutes" aired anderson cooper's exclusive interview with porn star stormy daniels, which drew the highest ratings for "60 minutes" in ten years. they haven't had numbers like that since mike wallace went undercover as a pole dancer. ( laughter ) that means superstorm sandy got higher ratings than donald trump did right after he was elected president. ( cheers and applause ) wow! that's gotta sting. the interview covered everything -- the president had sex with a porn star, she spanked him with a magazine with his face on

>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight kim jong unbelievable. plus, stephen welcomes oprah winfrey and justin hartley featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how are you? lovely! please sit down! thank you very much! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. it is good-- ( cheers and applause ) it's good to be alive and to stay that way because we just found out that north korea is willing to talk to the u.s. about giving up their nuclear weapons. and not the usual way they talk about giving up their nuclear weapons-- by dropping them on seattle. according to south korea, kim jong-un has agreed to sit down and engage in an open-ended dialogue to discuss the issue of denuclearization and to normalize u.s. relations with north korea. yes, normalize relations. i can't even say it, it's so unusual. ( laughter ) if you normalize, then kim jong-un and trump can sit down and talk

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! how are ya? ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody! please have a seat, everybody! thank you very much. you're very kind. oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. you know, the words " "clustermunch of biblical proportions" get thrown around pretty casually in washington, but they really apply to trump's white house today. cnn summed it up this way: "white house meltdown on full display." the white house tours must be getting really interesting. "okay, now we're passing the lincoln bedroom. on your right, you'll see john kelly suffocating jared kushner with a pillow. and on your left, the claw marks on the wall left by steve bannon as he was dragged out to the curb." first, the president just announced he's putting tariffs on imported steel and aluminum. so the gun thing is solved? i guess? moving on? he's got the attention span of a goldfish off its ritalin. so, why? turns out trump'

here are the guests on the stephen colbert show: flipping more than just burgers. this restaurant in lynwood also flipped its iconic golden arches. it turned the logo upside-down to make a w... in hon >>> a mcdonald's in los angeles county is flipping more than burgers. the restaurant in lynnwood also flipped its iconic arches, turning the logo upside down to make a w in honor of national women's day tomorrow. about 100 other restaurants around the country are expected to do the very same. >> and don't forget to wear purple. >>> some new restaurants are coming and they include chik- fil-a, shake shack and trader vic's. the great american bagel is also coming. >> big deal. i didn't see a bob's donuts. i didn't see house of prime rib. they've got work to do. >> do you want prime rib before getting on a plane? >> you would sleep well. >> exactly. we are onto something. >>> could the california bears upset the pac-12? we are going high school, folks. a cinderella story last state title..could they do it again?? ast year in >>> remember last year? mission high school be

good night. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. ou - [narrator] the following is a paid presentation for grown american superfood. brought to you by by trusted therabotanics. (optimistic music) wanna supercharge your body and live a longer, healthier life? what if you could have more energy and vitality? manage your weight. look and feel years younger, and even help reduce your risk of dying from heart disease and other chronic illnesses. study after study has proven that simply adding more superfood fruits and vegetables to your diet can help you stay healthy and actually live longer. but look at this, this is the daily recommended amount of fruits and vegetables for a family of four. who has the time and money to shop, chop, prep, cook, or go through the hassle of juicing and cleaning all of this every single day?

. >>> here are the late show with stephen colbert and his guests . >>> got tax questions? during our kpix 5 tax call in tomorrow from 1 pm to get to p.m. our consumer watch team will take your questions to the experts. there's only one word for the all new together forever-a pixar night time spectacular. ooohhhh. ahhhhhh. okay, maybe two. celebrate friendship and beyond at pixar fest. staring april 13th at disneyland resort. the c-h-p in san jose posted this photo after pulling over a car on 680. the passenger.. is a mannequin! the photo came with the caption "hope he isn't ssenger to pay >>> we have seen this before. a carpool sheet tries to get clever with little success. chp san jose posted this photo after pulling over a car on 680. the passenger is a mannequin. a dummy. but the driver is a dummy, too. >> the photo came with the caption "hope he isn't expecting his passenger to pay for half the ticket." #mannequin manipulation. >> #domain. >> he was trying. >> you do not get an a for effort. >> it's a lot of see notes. just pulling them right out of the bank account. >

good night. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next.ws cap -- cassis tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night. advisor john bolton have said some pretty scary things but we found them far less scary when sung by michael bolton. ♪ they argue action is not justified. ♪ because pyongyang does not constitute an imminent threat ♪ ♪ they are wrong ♪ the threat is imminent ♪ the inescapable conclusion is that iran will not negotiate away its nuclear program ♪ ♪ time is terribly

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> i don't know about you guys, but i'm going home to eat some mayonnaise. >> a big jar with a big spoon? >> that's

>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, mr. colbert goes to washington. plus stephen welcomes steve buscemi and sebastian maniscalco. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks so much. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to with the the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's friday and t.g.i.f. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. which, of course, stands for "trump gets incarcerated forever." ( cheers and applause ) allegedly. a boy can dream. but mueller is certainly hot on his trail. this week, the special counsel has been looking into whether trump coordinated with russia in the lead-up to the 2016 election. specifically, mueller's team has been asking if witnesses had reason to believe trump tried to coordinate the release of the d.n.c. emails to do the most damage to clinton. but where could mueller find proof that donald trump coordinated with russia about hillary's emails? well, it turns out there was a whistleblower-- we h

and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: please, have a seat! such lovely people. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) donald trump loves to trash talk people, but, strangely, he has never said one bad thing about vladimir putin. in fact, last week, trump called putin to congratulate him on winning a shady election in which he was the only real candidate, despite the fact that his advisors gave him notes in all-capital letters stating "do not congratulate," come on guys, if you want him to read a note, put it on something he pays attention to, like a cheeseburger or ivanka. ( laughter ) they just replaced the sign that said do not date. ( laughter ) he pays attention. it's got a happy ending! ( laughter ) so, up till now, he's been a huge fan of putin. well, yesterday, all that... stayed the same. but the united states did expel 60 russians over a u.k. poison attack. 60. normally, for trump to expel that m

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> be sure to tune in. we'll have the latest on the traffic conditions. it will be raining, have woman: it's not my first time bartending so... man: it's a sausage party in here. woman: it's fine, i'm very familiar.

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> i don't know about you guys, but i'm going home to eat some mayonnaise. >> a big jar with a big spoon? >> that's good stuff. >> facebook c.e.o. mark zuckerberg is under fire on two continent, lawmakers in washington and europe are demanding to know how a political consulting firm managed to get its hands on the personal data of 50 million facebook users. >> hi, i'm tom from myspace. remember me? i was your first friend. in light of the facebook scandal, there's never been a better time to come back to myi space. unlike facebook, we don't mine ouruters' data because we don't have any users. so come on back. to join, all we need is your name, and like, your favorite song, i think? i don't know. it's been a long time. i'm not on here, either. let me just enter my name-- where's the feed? i don't see a feed.

good night. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next.newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> president trump's lawyer sues stormy daniels for $20 million. >> stormy daniels is now suing president trump's personal attorney michael cohen for defamation. >> hi. are you currently suing somebody? >> and now you want to sue their lawyer, too? then call galino and farns. and take advantage of the buy one lawsuit get one lawsuit free deal. we have a ton of experience doing other lawyers including johnnycrine, abraham lincoln, thomas darrow. at cues finch. she haul. >> look it up, she's a lawyer.

. >>> and tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert . >>> the cbs bay area spelling beethis saturday. it will air at noon on cable 12 and it will streamline on the kpix 5 facebook page. an astronaut's trip to outer space.. changed his d-n-a. and get this: he and his twin brother.. are no longer identical! >>> tonight, nasa says an astronaut's trip to outer space actually changed his dna. >> he and his twin brother are no longer identical. nasa says that kelly and his twin astronaut brother mark kelly are no longer genetically the same. a study found 7% of scott's genes did not return to normal after he returned to earth two years ago. researchers believe some of the mutations could have been caused by the stress of space travel. >> some people see that money being thrown around in the nfl is out of this world as well. >> now there's a segway. >> thank you very much. kim the warriors win without steph curry? the lakers come calling next. does this map show the peninsula trail? you won't find that on a map. i'll take you there. take this left. if you listen real hard you c

stanford and cal squared off at the pac-12 t >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next.ur next newscast starts tomorrow at 4:30 am. >> have a good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> porn star stormy daniels has filed a lawsuit against president trump. she says he never signed an agreement to keep quiet about an alleged affair. ( laughter ) >> oh! i'm so horny for legal help. ( doorbell rings ) who could that be? >> did somebody order some lawyers? >> yes, who wants a hot slice of justice? >> galino and farns, i'm so glad you came. >> hello, if you're a porn star suing the president, you need to call us. >>

here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert as a small child has been on a questto find the men who saved her and her relatives at sea. "at every big juncture i aduation, law sc >>> a woman who fled vietnam as a child has been on a mission. she is trying to find the plan that saved her and her relatives at the sea. >> at every important moment of my life, graduation, law school, taking the oath, having children, seeing my parents, in the back of my head i would always think, i have to find these men, i have to find these men. >> she recently found two of the rescuers. they had been on a tanker that came across a small fishing vessel years ago. cbs reporter was at the reunion. the full story tomorrow on cbs this morning on saturday. >>> we are going to send you off empty handed. let's see what uncle vern has to deliver. what happens when you send a short staffed warriors team against a hot one? on the road, with out curry portland, the rest of >>> nba up top. no curry. no jordan bell, no david west at portland. great effort by the rest of them tonight. but you don'

good night. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next.rrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night! we'll see you then.