i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: and unlike donald trump, i know i'm being recorded right now. ( laughter ) because, folks, there's a tape! ( cheers and applause ) not that tape, but still... ( laughter ) and i'm going to tell you all about it in tonight's "stormy "karen mcdougal edition." long-time viewers of "stormy watch" will recall that karen mcdougal is the "playboy" playmate who claims she had a ten-month affair with donald trump. mcdougal's story was hushed up after she told-- she sold the rights to it to the "national enquirer" for $150,000. that's $20,000 more than stormy daniels. ( laughter ) karen must have spanked him with two magazines. ( laughter and applause ) now-- ( cheers ) ( piano riff ) now, trump denies the affair and any knowledge of that payment, but last night, cnn obtained one of the 12 secret trump-cohen tapes, this one from september 2016. and you can tell it's from 2016 because they're both making a lot of harambe jokes. ( laughter ) and despite his denials, the audio confirms

surfing a huge red wave. ( laughter ) ( band playing ) >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbertight: giving notice to scotus. plus, stephen welcomes... paul rudd. ken jeong. and musical guest florence & the machine. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!

late show with stephen colbert is next. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> kellyanne, omarosa was the most prominent high-level african-american serving in the west wing on president trump's staff. who now is that person? who is the most prominent high- level advisor to the president on the west wing staff right now? >> african-american? >> yes. ( chaotic strings ) ( laughter ) >> the president works with secretary carson every day, he's trying to break the back of his current-- >> who there on the white house staff right now? >> i would say that first of all you're-- >> what does that say to have not a single senior advisor in the west wing who's african- american? ( chaotic strings ) ( laughter ) >> kellyanne conway, thank you for joining us. >> thank you, jon. >> appreciate it. ( cheers and applause ) >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, "the apprentice" strikes back. plus, stephen welcomes... nicki minaj. guy pearce. and a mus

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: woo! hello! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much! please, sit down! sit down! that is a crowd. that right there is a hot crowd! this is the kind of crowd you want on fridays. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: friday! friday! >> stephen: i wish these guys could stick around. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) you know, folks, you know, it is hard to imagine you could be this shocked every day by the trump administration. i mean, freshly shocked. >> jon: every single day. never ends. >> stephen: i think it's because every single day they attach the electrodes to a different part of us. ( laughter ) >> jon: oh, goodness. >> stephen: and let's just say that today, they had to shave us first. ( laughter ) just to get contact. >> jon: mmm... >> stephen: because, americans of every political stripe have been horrified by trump's helsinki hell su

and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city it is stephen colbert! (cheers and applause) tz. >> jon: hey, what's-- . >> stephen: hey, chas what's going on. place, have a seat. folks, welcome to the late show, i'm your host, stefer encolbert. -- stephen colbert. i'm excited too because the president is on vacation. and i know people are like oh, shouldn't he ebb working? no. this is finement but while he's on vacay trump staff has largely given up on futile efforts to supervise him. at this point they are just leaving him alone with one of those cat water fountains you see in the airplane magazine and it's got a lever to give him a cheeseburger pellet. (laughter) for sure no one is keeping him from tbeeting. behind the betweens he's apparently freaking out about all the investigations closing in am because between friday and sunday he tweeted 48 times. (laughter) yeah. 48, so much tweeting that even your friend who sells supplements on social media was like dude, take a step back hashtag herbalife, hashtag essential oils hashtag flush out your toksens.

this is "stephen colbert's midnight confessions"! lause ) >> stephen: standard disclaimer: i don't know if these are technically sins, but i do feel bad about them. okay, i'll be right back. ( organ music ) forgive me, audience. i know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but i do not miss chris christie at all. ( laughter ) audience-- audience, if i ask you, "got any big plans for the weekend?" what i really mean is, "can this elevator go any faster?" ( laughter ) sometimes-- sometimes when i read a hardcover book, i remove the dust jacket. it really kills the sensation. sometimes-- sometimes, after a long day, i like to kick my feet up and just relax. it really freaks out the other drivers. ( laughter ) since the world cup started, i've started to care about soccer. and i'm worried that the name "ronaldo" is taking up brain cells that could be used remembering the name "gandalf." ( laughter ) i've never been good at name- dropping... according to my friend, meryl streep. ( laughter ) when things are really stressful, i calm

and kenny choi >>> "the late show with stephen colbert" is next.newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a good night. we'll see you tomorrow. >> thanks for watching. captioning sponsored by cbs >> federal investigators seize more than 100 secret recordings from michael cohen. that's according to the "washington post" this morning.

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welcome to the late show, everybody, i'm your host stephen colbert. (applause). >> stephen: i just want to say hello citizens of earth. and if this is a rerun from two years from now, hello to all of our fighting boys in the asteroid belt! go give the astro kaiser hell! because tonight there is big news about spaaace force! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: was i looking at the right place? long time viewers of the trump administration will remember that space force is the president's boldest idea that he got from a buzz lightyear happy meal toy. (laughter) and now, now citizens, to refresh your mem rebanks we take to you star date march 13th where supreme leader trump addressed a confused planet. >> my new national strategy for space recognizes that space is a war-fighting domain vus like the land, air and sea. we may even have a space force develop another one, space force. we have the air force, we'll have the space force. we'll call it the space force. think of that, space force! >> stephen: yes! think of that. but not too hard because it's stupid

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! lause ) >> stephen: thank you, joe. matty! >> stephen: welcome to "the late show," everybody. please have a seat. welcome to "the late show,"" one and all. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) i just want to start off tonight by saying happy birthday, robert mueller! yeah, today's his birthday. today's hissing about the. >> jon: hey, happy birthday! >> stephen: listen, blow out the candles and make our wish. ( laughter ) mueller celebrated today by harrying former top trump campaign manager and discount cologne ad, paul manafort. manafort is getting buried on the witness stand by his longtime partner and self-published mystery novelist, rick gates. gates has already pleaded guilty to lying to the f.b.i., and on the stand, he made his former boss's guilt perfectly clear. "were you involved in any criminal activity with mr. manafort?" "yes." ( laughter ) "did you commit any crimes with mr. manafort?" "yes." you know, my reading is not really conveying the excitement an

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! lause ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: please! thank you! what a lovely crowd. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. america is still reeling from the troubling reminders that omarosa is still out there. ( laughter ) her new book-- do we have is here? "unhinged" dropped today. it's highly anticipated, it's filled with salacious behind-the-scenes details, and it's 30% off. day one. day one. ( laughter ) ( applause ) it's the literary equivalent of day-old sushi. of course, the bombshell everyone is talking about is that omarosa claims she heard the tape of donald trump on the set of "celebrity apprentice" saying the "n" word. >> audience: ooooh! >> stephen: i know,in, it's terrible. if this shocking allegation is true, it would undeniably make some of his fans happy. ( laughter ) others would go, "i don't like that he's a racist, but, you know, taxes." ( laughter ) >> jon: wow! >> stephen: last night, trump fired back with a charact

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! there you go! there you go! thanks so much. welcome to "the late show,"" everybody, down there, up here, around the world i'm your host, stephen colbert. it is a chilling-- ( cheers and applause ) it is a chilling day in american history and she not just because i keep this theater at 52 degrees. for the first time, a president has used the power of his office today to punish members of the intelligence community who have criticized him-- specifically, former c.i.a. director and father-in-law watching you try to use jumper cables, john brennan. ( laughter ) now presidential spokesperson sarah hucka-sands, read the president's statement today about brett an from the official white house lying perch. >> "as the head of the executive branch and commander in chief, i have the unique constitutional responsibility to protect the nation's classified information, including by controlling access to it. today, in fulfilling that responsibility, i have de

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: how are you? thank you. ( applause ) how's it going. we've got a big show. welcome, welcome, one and all to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. well, it is the first full day, today is the first full day of donald trump's trip to europe. he is in brussels for the nato summit, then it on to england and then he's going to straight to hell-- ( laughter ) i'm sorry, helsinki. ( laughter ) to meet with vladimir putin. and so far the trip is going-- and-- ( laughter ) and it's not that bad, it's not like he has turned nato upside down, right, jimmy? oh, my god! ( laughter ) as "the new york times" put it, "mr. trump kicked off his meetings on a contentious note." contentious is his only note! ( laughter ) he's a human air horn. the bumpy ride started at a breakfast with nato secretary general jens stoltenberg. notice how trump is the only one who already chugged his juice. ( laughter ) ( as trump ) "i'm making sure that when i meet putin i hav

w,an noond ive l city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) : h! good to see you! ephen: a lovely group of people. gentlemen, good to see you. welcome, one and all, here, there, everywhere to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. i feel-- i feel like it's christmas morning, because all year long, robert mueller and his team of legal elves have been busy in their workshop making all the indictments for all the bad little boys and girls. and the magical day we've been waiting for is finally here ♪ cuz it's day one of paul manafort's trial ♪ you guys don't know that christmas carol. manafort is being accused of tax evasion, bank fraud, but, ultimately, he's really on trial for this picture. ( laughter ) "how does the defendant plead?" "if it pleases the court... innocent." ( laughter ) "oh, yes." today started with jury selection, or "voir dire," which is french for, "i hope you enjoy toilet wine." ( laughter ) then, in the opening statements, prosecutors painted a picture of manafort's extravagant spending, telling the jury that manafort $ goton j15,0 a"mac

carley: stephen colbert calls out politicians he disagrees with all the time.t's someone in your inner circle. he made the comment about trump and putin that some said are homophobic. moon versus saihomophobic. moonves said don't worry about it, you will weather this. he does deserve credit for this. that must have been hard for him to do. howie: do you feel he felt compelled to take on the guy. he's also championing the #metoo movement and he didn't want to appear hypocritical. carley: he says if you are going to hold one person accountable, you have to hold everybody accountable. les moonves could survive this and still be colbert's boss. but les moonves does have a lot on his mind, and colbert's monologue might be far down his list. howie: that brings my question about moonves. there was an investors' conference call. they were told you can't ask about the sexual misconduct allegations being investigated by the outside law firms. they went along, they were wimps. i don't think reporters would have done that. is this giving the network a black eye? carley: if

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! applause ) >> stephen: hey! >> stephen: hey, everybody! perfect, beautiful! can't miss! hey, jon! what's going on? good to see you. . ( cheers and applause ) wooo! hey! >> stephen: stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: yeah, right here. gets you right here. oh! thank you. thank you very much. please, have a seat, everybody. too kind. thank you so much up there, down here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) hey, you guys-- you guys know elections? we still have those. and in fact, we had some yesterday around the country, around the country. the big battle was over ohio's 12th district, pitting republican troy balderson against democrat danny o'connor in what many are calling, "the slugfest in the midwest," "the great debate near ohio state," "the rumpus near colump-us." ( laughter ) the 12th has sent a republican to congress for the last 35 years, and in 2016, it went for trump

i'm stephen colbert. i'm feeling pretty good about myself today. ( cheers and applause ) yeah, and i tell you why, because robert robert doesn't want to ask me any questions. ( laughter ) you'll remember that our commander-in-chief had a hissy fit on twitter yesterday, and now we know why. 35 tweets over the weekend or something like that. apparently, trump's tweet storm came after learning mueller wants to ask him about obstruction of justice. why is he surprised? ( cheering ) sure, go ahead, obstruction of justice fans. ( laughter ) i don't know why donald trump is surprised. when the cops wants to talk to you, it's usually about a crime. "uh-oh, cops are pulling me over. well, they probably just want to know if i've checked out season 2 of atlanta yet." ( laughter ) meanwhile -- let me get rid of this. ( piano riff ) ( laughter ) meanwhile -- mueller wants to ask about obstruction of justice but has agreed to limit the scope of questioning and would like to ask questions both "written," and "orally." "

liz: right, late show host stephen colbert went after bernie sanders last night on his failed candidates do you need to call your socialist, people are excited about alexandria ocasio-cortez you, but people she campaigned for did not win their primaries, only half people you campaigned for won their primary, maybe there is a little tainl taint to socialism that turns people off. >> i don't think so, the real issue that ideas that we've been talking about, are now ideas that are mainstream ideas that are supported by the vast majority of the american people. liz: all right, so many factual errors that ber bernie sanders t said, mainstream american majority that is wrong. and he said these things, that as if his thoughts are facts, his thoughts and opinion are fact. >> he is the voice. >> is is what america supports, i think that bernie sanders is somebody that donald trump tapped in toag, stephen colbert represents a insidious side, he said, maybe world socialist is tainted. but look at pled calling fo medr all, and obamacare, that is described as socialist, president bill clinton could n

♪[ music ] captioning sponsored by cbs >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! night: in rod we trust. plus, stephen welcomes... michael moore. eric andre and derrick beckles. and, alexandria ocasio-cortez! plus, a special appearance by jon stewart. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) that's sharp! there you go. well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) we're going on vacation next week, so we won't be able to talk about what's going on with the country. hopefully, when we get back, there will be still be one! ( laughter ) but-- >> jon: please, please. >> stephen: robert mueller could drop his report at any time. that's what they're saying. sometime soon... >> jon: mm-hmm. >> stephen: something's going to come out... ( cheers and applause ) and it's got the president spooked. so, today, he sen

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! good to see you! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) thank you! hey, everybody! thank you. thank you very much. thank you, thank you! thank you, one and all, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. you know, when it comes to the news, let's face it... we don't want to face it. ( laughter ) because once again, the big story is trump's policy of taking immigrant children from their parents at the border. now, there are two ways to look at this story: either you can be horrified, or you can work for donald trump. ( laughter ) take secretary of homeland security and step-mom flushing pictures of your real mom down the toilet... ( laughter ) kirstjen nielsen. yesterday, nielsen defended this policy at the daily press briefing. now, normally, that press briefing job is handled by white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders, seen here in her happy place. ( laughter ) but hucka-sands didn't wan

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hello! hey! oh! oh! hey! look at that right there! thank you, everybody. please, have a seat! please, sit down, everybody! you're too kind. welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. how's everybody doing? ( cheers and applause ) you doing all right? you all seem pretty happy tonight. that means you do not own stock in facebook... ( laughter ) ...because today was a rough day for everyone's favorite social network/democracy de-stabilizer. 'cause facebook's stock dropped 19%, losing $120 billion in value... that's a lot of money. ( laughter ) when asked about the precipitous drop, a spokesman for facebook, responded: >> a million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? >> "losing $120 billion dollars." ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, yeah, it's catchy. it all happened because of an earnings report that showed slower than expected growth in user numbers. are you happy, guys? this is what happens when we all

now i am hungry. >> stephen colbert is next. is tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. >> have a growth night. see you tomorrow -- t ghee youomorrow. captioning sponsored by cbs >> at an event intended to honor senator john mccain's legacy, trump signed a bill named after him, in which trump didn't mention his name once. >> the national defense authorization act is the most significant investment in our military ♪ say mccain, say mccain ♪ why won't you say his name >> we would not be here for today's signing ceremony without the dedicated efforts of the members of congress who worked so hard topaz the defense naturalization act ♪ say m

with -- stephen colbert. tonight, omerosa.turing jon batiste and "stay human," live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: whoa! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) nice! nice! well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome. welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheering ) do you ever think maybe it wasn't worth firing somebody? because the trump administration has got to be thinking that about omarosa. so she hired a few ubers and did her wedding photographs in the rose garden. did that undermine the dignity of the place where they pardon the turkeys? because, oh, boy, has her book tour gotten under the president's, i want to say skin. not sure. according to a republican insider, "trump told advisers that he wants attorney general jeff sessions to have manigault newman arrested, although it's unclear what law trump believes she broke." (as trump) "what law did she break? is 'my heart' a law? ( laughter ) ( cheering ) and omarosa dropped a new secre

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! >> stephen: oh, please! have a seat, everybody! thank you so much. what a lovely-- lovely night, lovely audience. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. well, another day, another presidential tweet-nado. get yourself down in the basement, because the tweet-nado is coming. and brace yourself-- this one is about the russia investigation: "yes, we have found the smocking gun. it was not the trump champagne that was collaging with russia. crock-ed hillary is the one that is guilty of that contusion. switch punt!" ( laughter ) and this isn't even the worst of trump's tweets today, this is: donald tru irn general to shut n the investigation of donald trump. rudy should tell him that just because he's doing it in public, doesn't mean it's not obstruction of justice. public urination is still urination. ( cheers and applause ) allegedly. allegedly. what's his next tweet going to be? "jeff sessions should shut it down right now befo

tactical pants ♪ tactical pants >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! es: don lemon. mike colter. and musical guest death cab for cutie. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: woo! lovely! please, sit down, everybody! thank you very much! welcome to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. the story-- ( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. you know, the story of the week has been donald trump's pro- baby-snatching agenda, and today it took another weird turn. because, to try to humanize these child detention centers, the administration sent their most high-profile detainee, melania trump. ( laughter ) and, as soon as she got there, the first lady cut right to the big question. >> how i can help to these children to reunite them with their families as quickly as possible? >> stephen: ma'am, i know how you can help. unfortunately, it involves speaking to your husband. ( laughter ) but desperate times call for despe

i'm your host, stephen colbert. well-- ( cheers and applause ) happy friday.y friday, one and all. ( cheers and applause ) you made it! we made it, we earned it. >> jon: yes we did. >> stephen: we earned it this week could not end soon enough because all week donald trump has been insulting our allies in nato and cozying up to russia. it's like that old saying: the enemy of my enemy is also my enemy, because friends are for the weak. ( laughter ) then-- yesterday? yesterday, he invited vladimir putin to the white house. we have a copy of the invitation: please choose: chicken, fish, or the launch codes. ( laughter ) the fish? >> jon: wow. >> stephen: by now, it's an established fact that russian military officers hacked d.n.c. servers to help get donald trump elected. but this was no one-pronged strategy. they also pronged the n.r.a. with their spy maria butina. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) can't get that down. butina was charged with conspiracy to act as an agent of the russian federation within the united states without prior notification to the attorney general. what?

. >> here are tonight's guest on the late show with stephen colbert. it's time for the 'biggest sale of the year' on the new sleep number 360 smart bed. it senses your movement and automatically adjusts to keep you both comfortable. and now, all beds are on sale. save 50% on the new sleep number 360 limited edition smart bed. plus, free home delivery. ends saturday. two brothers are now on their way to join the san jose police department. luis and hector vargas just >>> this is giving new meaning to the words of family business. spent 2 brothers on their way to join the san jose police department. they just graduated from the academy together and before that they were at fresno state. the brothers born just 11 months apart grew up working in the fields and dairy farms. their parents are both immigrants from mexico. permit whose idea was it 1st? >> to be a police officer? i would say it was my brothers. spent do you think you can make a difference? >> yes. having mentors and applying myself i think i can be of assistance to the community itself. >> they

late show with stephen colbert is next.ow morning at 4:30. >> have a great night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> kan

still to come, stephen colbert actually apologizes after screwing up the facts. and you will love this. >> stephen colbert made a big blunder in describing jonah goldberg as a trump ally. apparently he has never read his previous presidential critic. the next night, he apologized. >> i described this guy right here, a conservative columnist jonah goldberg is one of tom's allies. and added that he looked like a guy at a magic convention inviting you back to his hotel room. [laughter] he got mad about one of those two things. because he is not actually a trump ally. he is in fact very staunch never trumper. and we here at the late show regret many things. chris a little sloppiness but at least he owned up to his mistake. that is it for this addition of #mediabuzz. i am howard kurtz. check out my new stories and guests. we might corral some other people into that as well. you can subscribe at apple itunes, google play, fox news podcast.com check out our facebook page. we post my daily columns there. repost a lot of original content and your comments. let's continue

>>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> good night, sherman, texas. we love you. >> liz was ranked no. 1. captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i don't know what to say ♪ i'll say it anyway sneet today is-- >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." soant, cyber insecurity. plus, stephen welcomes rob reiner. and a special appearance by ruth bader ginsburg. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now,e on tap ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! nice! theerp of ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: tell you what, give you one of these here, move one over there. >> stephen: stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey, thank you! thank you very much. ( cheers and applause ) what are we talking about? everybody all right? >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: welcome! welcome, one and all. thanks, everybody. please, have a seat. very nice. amazing. incredible audience. welcome, one and all. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) i have the same feeling. i have the same feeling. it's the end of the week. happy friday!

to star . >>> "the late show with stephen colbert" is next.ng at 4:30. >> we'll see you then. have a great night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> russia has a new diplomat, believe it or not. president vladimir putin has appointed american actor-- action actor, i should say-- steven seagal as its special envoy to improve relations with the u.s. ( laughter ) >> you loved him in "above the law" and you had no feelings about his other movies. ( laughter ) but now comes his most important role... steven seagal is... "special envoy." >> who is the target? >> his mission: improve relations with the united states, using only his mastery of slap-boxing... ( laughter ) his hostility towards vegetables... >> russia and america should be great allies.

sounds of the san jose summer jazz fest kick >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> we'llf the san jose summer jazz fest kicking off tonight. have a great weekend! e sidelines at the coliseum ♪[ music ] captioning sponsored by cbs >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert

and an apology from stephen colbert.cycle revving ♪ motorcycle revving ♪ no matter who rides point, ♪ there are over 10,000 allstate agents riding sweep. ♪♪ and just like tyrone taylor, they know what it takes to help keep you protected. are you in good hands? with tripadvisor, finding your perfect hotel at the lowest price... is as easy as dates, deals, done! simply enter your destination and dates... and see all the hotels for your stay! tripadvisor searches over 200 booking sites... to show you the lowest prices... so you can get the best deal on the right hotel for you. dates, deals, done! tripadvisor. visit tripadvisor.com >> omarosa is out with a new book, savaging president trump are made famous by putting her on the apprentice. then fired her from the white house job in december. she was on meet the press this morning she said she heard a tape from the apprentice days of donald trump allegedly using the n word. >> was a herder for myself, it was confirmed what i feared the most. that donald trump is a con and has

i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know, thank you.t because, i need it. you know, they say that time heals all wounds, and they are wrong. ( laughter ) time can also fester all wounds. and then you got to start lopping stuff off before it spreads. and i'm beginning to think it's time to reach for the bone saw, because anybody who still believes donald trump at this point is gangrene on the body politic. ( cheers and applause ) gotta go! >> jon: what's your function? >> stephen: got to go, got to go for the rest of the body. but don't give me the saw, because i'm feeling a little shaky. ( laughter ) i'm about as shaky as i have felt since the night he won. back then, my biggest fear was we had elected an asset of the russian government who would sell out america at every opportunity just to save his own hide. my biggest fear now is that i was right. ( laughter ) a lot of people-- a lot of people-- ( cheers and applause ) a lot of people have been upset since helsinki, where donald trump did not put america first. he did not say, "hey,

. >> tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert, rob reiner. he calls it: amish uber. >>> a michigan man is adding some horsepower to ride sharing. >> he calls it amish uber. for a flat fee of $5 timothy hoseller and his horse will give you a scenic tour of the town of colome, not far from kalamazoo. visitors and locals are loving it. >> first time uber and we're riding in a buggy. >> uber is a cool thing. every several years something new comes in. uber is hot right now. so we can have the amish buggies and delivering people to their front doorstep. >> looks like fun. of course, there is no app to hail the amish uber. you have to flag tim down the old-fashioned way by hand. >> i've always wanted to do that, sort of bucket list. >> to take a horse and buggy. >> not just take one. i want to drive the thing. let me at them. >> that would be great. i'm sure there's one in the bay area somewhere. we'll find them. ugh tonight in oakland... >>> another giant player hurt tonight. >> and the a's, i go back to my old line, nine innings, not enough tonig

and isn't that a problem, stephen colbert wondered? >> why do you need to call yourself socialist?e are very excited about owe kazmierczakio, cortez. the people that she campaigned for did not win their primaries, only half the people you campaigned for won their primaries for. maybe there is a little taint to socialism that turns people off. >> i don't really think. so i think the real issue is that the idea that we have been talking about almost without compensation are maybe stream ideas that are supported by it vast majority of the american people. brian: never explains how he will pay for anything. says things oh don't you want everyone to have healthcare? don't you want everyone to be able to go to college? we have a system that's set up where there is pathways to do that but there is also a situation where not everything can be given away you are taxing people maybe 80% of their income. steven coal ware is going after bernie sanders for one reason. he wants all democrats to be successful he knows the best thing for republicans is for bernie sanders to push socialists in all

especially if you ask stephen colbert. >> tonight, big news about space force!trump administration will remember that space force is the president's boldest idea that he got from a buzz lightyear happy meal toy. a boost from vice president pence. he is a huge fan of space. the farthest you can get from being alone with a human woman. there were 6-6-6 does not seem like enough options to us. we made a few of our own. space force. mars has cleaner water than flint. in space, no one can hear you collude. one small step for man, really small hands for a man. >> just in case you missed stephen colbert. thanks for joining us. i'm christine romans. "new day" starts now. >>> the national anthem kneeling controversy is alive and well in the nfl. >> the president does not agree with the tactics of some players that have been taking a knee. >> wouldn't you love to see the nfl owners say get that son of a [ bleep ] off of the field. >> i'm ready to get this weekend out of the way. >> a state of emergency in charlottesville one year after the deadly protests. >> this is new

stephen colbert reveals his stephen colbert reveals his battle with anxiety. so, you'll be here stephen colbert reveals his battle with anxiety. to help protect my car? state farm will be here. okay, what about here? yup. nice! my screen didn't crack. thank goodness. what about... obviously. here? i don't think so. that makes sense. what about here? here too. awesome. that wasn't my fault. go with the one that's here to help life go right. state farm. ♪ ♪ ♪ dogs don't hold they give their all... ...so we can give ours. dogs give more, because they are more. let's treat them that way. ♪yeah ♪and i just wanna tell you right now that i♪ ♪i believe, i really do believe that♪ ♪something's got a hold on me, yeah♪ ♪oh, it must be love ♪oh, something's got a hold on me right now, child♪ ♪oh, it must be love ♪let me tell you now, oh it must be love♪ ♪ when you need a hand ♪ lean on me, when you're not strong ♪ ♪ and i'll be your friend ♪ i'll help you carry on ♪ lean on me ♪ mmm... ♪ lean on me... ♪ mmm... ♪ lean on me... during the color sweet color sale. look from au

. >> ladies and gentlemen, here with a special edition of the colbert report, stephen colbert. >> i thinkespondents dinner, you better go for the throat, and you better risk being booed. and that's what i loved about what colbert did. >> i believe the government that governs best is the government that govers least and by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in iraq. >> stephen colbert at that white house correspondents dinner, i watched with deep jealousy. here he was doing subversive brilliant humor, not just about it, but two, a sitting commander in chief. >> it's not easy to stand up in front of a room full of people who you know you're going to say crazy things about. it's very difficult. he delivered it and it was fantastic and we all appreciated it. i certainly did. >> this administration is not sinking. this administration is soaring. if anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the hindenburg. >> i watch it at home and they cut away to the audience and -- huh? what? they doesn't get the joke. so, you're screwed from jump street. but it was his character,

in a way jon stewart and stephen colbert were kind of a comedy team on comedy central.een invited to a grouse hunting party in shropshire. it's just a few dozen men, some stable boys. all of us in kilts naturally. and here's the fun part, jon. whoever shoots the -- >> people hon go together in a way and still do because they like them together. >> is that her? >> yes. >> we're going to need a special locker for the hat. >> that's the terrific thing when you have another actor that you feel you have chemistry with. >> i'm confused. >> he's not going to get us alone because he thinks we're too old. >> too old? i was blasting drake all the way here. >> it's great to be with jane and working with her. and people say we have chemistry. now, if we do, it's because we just really love each other. we enjoy each other. and we have fun. and i know that i can trust her and she can trust me. she's got my back. >> comes over every night. >> every night. >> how long is that relationship in. >> from 1950 on. mel and i, we were a team, we were having fun. we did it ten years without ev

artist, jim acosta, basking in the anti-trumped limelight and appeared on stephen colbert's show last night. we'll show you the worst of the worst. buckle up, time for an important breaking news opening monologue. ♪ tonight, once again, john solomon has a major breaking report. once this time, he's exposing hw fusion gps literally communicated with obama's justice department all and lead up to the 2016 election. remember, fusion gps was the consulting firm, hired by the dnc, and the coptic campaign. they are the ones that dug up the dirt on then candidate trump that was full of russian lies. and according to now newly unearthed, handwritten notes that we now have, senior justice department official bruce ohr, he knew about glenn simpson's effort to leak the dirty dossier to the press prior to the election. he wrote, "it was glenn's hail mary attempt." hail mary attempt, of course, to defeat trump with hillary's bought and paid for russian lies. it gets worse. now bruce ohr also wrote that glenn simpson gave him a memory stick during a discrete meeting at a coffee shop. by the way, whe

. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. next newscast tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m.red by cbs sessions has launched a so-called religious liberty task force at the justice department. sessions says freedom of religion is under attack. he cited an example of nuns being ordered to buyes. ♪ a gay cake in your neighborhood ♪ who you gonna call ♪ religious liberty task force ♪ on top of that cake two dudes ♪ who you gonna call ♪ religious liberty task for i ain't afraid of no

. >> stephen colbert is next. next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. >> have

. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. when the day turns into night, my hash browns turn into my $3 munchie mash-ups. crispy hash browns and tasty white cheese. buchrah, os jnd bacon. crispy hash browns and tasty white cheese. try my $3 munchie mash-ups, back for a limited time. only at jack in the box.

first up, late show host stephen colbert really went after democrat new york governor. he's a potential 2020 presidential candidate. andrew cuomo. watch. >> cuomo gave a speech at a bill signing event and in doing so, he said something stupid. it's subtle to pick out, but see if you can spot it. >> we're not going to make america great again. it was never that great. [ laughter ] that is the dumbest thing you can say as a politician. that's like closing your speech with apple pie sucks, i'm lukewarm on the troops and those stripes make the american flag look fat. thank you. i hate my mother! liz: hilarious. the company's stock closed today in the green. let's pick it up with our panel. great to see you guys. eric, colbert was pretty w withering there. >> he was, for good reason. the kind of statement cuomo made shows you why he will likely never be president of the united states. tell that to the -- america was never great, tell it to the men and women who built this great country, the great economy, in the world that we have, the top economy. tell it to those who helpe

. >>> "the late show with stephen colbert" is next.t newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> the gang will be here with all of the news you need >> dr. stanley: remember this: cannot change the laws of god. when he has visited you in some form of adversity and he brings you through that, that's like he has increased the strength of the foundation of your life and your faith in him. [music]

stephen colbert speaking out. from his cbs show. >> les moonves is my guy and i like working for him. but accountability is meaningless unless it's for everybody. >> reporter: moonves saying in part i recognize there were times decades ago i may have made some women uncomfortable by making advances. those were mistakes and i regret them immensely and i never nyon. said we do not believe however that the picture of our company created in "the new yorker" represents a larger organization that does its best to treat its tens of thousands of employees with dignity and respect. moonves, who is staying in place during the independent investigation is expected to speak at a cbs earnings call on thursday. nbc news, new york. >>> alarming new developments in north korea. despite kim jong-un's agreement to halt all missile and nuclear testing, his regime is secretly building ballistic missiles capable of reaching the u.s. andrea mitchell with that story. >> reporter: tonight, generals from north and south korea meeting at t

we leave you tonight, remember >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next, the next newscast at 4:30 am tomorrow. >>> we leave tonight remembering the queen of soul, aretha franklin, in her last ma. >> [ singing ] forever, i will stay in your heart, you will never depart. i will love you. together. [ singing ] music back ♪-- ♪

. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. >> see you bright and early. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> there was an effort by lawmakers to subpoena the u.s. translator, the only other american in the room, when president trump met with vladimir putin. >> "the late show" has obtained the first interview with the president's translator. unfortunately, she was so traumatized by the summit, she brought her own translator. ( laughter ) >> uh... it was a productive meeting. the... two leaders discussed things. trump was-- uh-- very-- uh-- strong on confronting putin about meddling. ( laughter ) >> ( crying ) oh, my god. >> he is saying that they are looking forward to... future talks. >> oh, we're screwed!

. >> stephen colbert is next. >> football tomorrow!trump continues hisivation in new jersey. he is staying out of public view, at least so far ♪ can't seem to get my mind off of you ♪ now that i'm away i wish i'd stayed ♪ when you looked at me i should have run ♪ but i thought it was just for fun