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Mar 2, 2019
03/19
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and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: woo! join us, won't you? ( band playing ) i love it! i love it! you gotta love it live! ( cheers and applause ) live! live! ( audience chanting "stephen" ) >> stephen: right there. give it. they can't cut it tonight. they can't cut it tonight. hi, chris! how are you? they can't cut that one. ( cheers and applause ) hey, paul! what's up? hey everybody, up there, down here, please, sit down! sit down! ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much! whoa. welcome, welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) everybody's excited, because tonight trump gave his state of the union, and we are live, if what you call what we just watched "living." ( laughter ) it was pretty raucous on the republican side, i'll tell you that much. fairly quiet on the democratic side, because it was nancy's house. ( laughter ) she showed great restraint. she did not stick out her tongue once. she was chewing on i
and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: woo! join us, won't you? ( band playing ) i love it! i love it! you gotta love it live! ( cheers and applause ) live! live! ( audience chanting "stephen" ) >> stephen: right there. give it. they can't cut it tonight. they can't cut it tonight. hi, chris! how are you? they can't cut that one. ( cheers and applause ) hey, paul! what's up?...
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Mar 1, 2019
03/19
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>> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, the state of confusion. plus, stephen welcomes... matthew mcconaughey. and musical guest, better oblivion community center. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: come on! wooo! that's good! there here we go! here we go! wooo! ladies and gentlemen, what a lovely crowd. welcome, welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. and i come before you tonight to declare that the state of our union is "i-unno." ( laughter ) because nobody, nobody knows if we're going to have a state of the union address. the situation is chaotic and bitter and confusing-- which is actually the state of our union. ( laughter ) you see, here's how we got here: last week, speaker pelosi sent a very polite letter to the president telling him to stay away because he smells bad and his mother dresses him funny. ( laughter ) subtext. uh, she actually cited security concerns
>> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, the state of confusion. plus, stephen welcomes... matthew mcconaughey. and musical guest, better oblivion community center. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: come on! wooo! that's good! there here we go! here we go! wooo! ladies and gentlemen, what a lovely...
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Mar 8, 2019
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. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. tonight manafort plus stephen welcomes gayle king, pamela adlong bond and ad ddz lon and musical guest mumford and sons and jon batiste and stay human am and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: whooo! >> stephen: happy birthday. what a delightful, what a wonderful crowd. what a marvelous crowd you are tonightment i'm so happy to have you here, welcome one and all to the late show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. you know-- (applause). >> stephen: thank you, thank you. you know, i have met donald trump. but i would not say that we are friends. (laughter) and i thank the lord for that because today has been a rough one for those close to the president. let's start with former trump campaign chair and man with resting indicted face paul manafort. earlier today a federal judge sentenced manafort to 47 months in prison, okay. s that he's not even four years, okay. so not quite four years but with good behav
. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. tonight manafort plus stephen welcomes gayle king, pamela adlong bond and ad ddz lon and musical guest mumford and sons and jon batiste and stay human am and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: whooo! >> stephen: happy birthday. what a delightful, what a wonderful crowd. what a marvelous crowd you are tonightment i'm so happy to have you here,...
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Mar 15, 2019
03/19
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. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. -- .elcome christine baranski and adam kinzinger. and stay human, and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert plaws. >> stephen: whooo! hello. how are you? (applause). >> stephen: welcome, to the late show, i'm your host, stephen colbert. thank you, thank you. thank you for joining us on day 28 of donald trump's national emergency. we tha we are calling press one for english. press two por muerto. national emergency emergency edition. today sarah held up a magazine an spanked trump in the oval office. under the national emergency law after the president declares a national emergency congress can vote to disapprove it. and many republicans announced they were going to vote against it like kentucky senator and man who just saw his hair in the mirror, rand paul. he thought there was a forest animal on his head. rand paul said congress should declare a war on congress, should spend the money, those are two bed rock constitutional principles that has nothing
. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert. -- .elcome christine baranski and adam kinzinger. and stay human, and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert plaws. >> stephen: whooo! hello. how are you? (applause). >> stephen: welcome, to the late show, i'm your host, stephen colbert. thank you, thank you. thank you for joining us on day 28 of donald trump's national emergency. we tha we are calling press one for english. press two por...
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Mar 19, 2019
03/19
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now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you! thank you one and all. welcome everybody to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know, the world is still reeling from friday's terror attack in new zealand on two mosques by a white supremacist in which 50 muslim worshipers were killed. all of our hearts go out to those at the al noor and linwood mosques and the great people of new zealand. it is the most beautiful country i have ever seen, and kiwis are the kindest people i have ever met. right after the attack, new zealand's prime minister, jacinda ardern, made it clear that her country was united. >> many of those who will have been directly affected by this shooting may be migrants to new zealand, they may even be refugees here. they have chosen to make new zealand their home, and it is their home. they are us. >> stephen: many are questioning our president's reaction. now, to his credit, he did send a condolence tweet, and called the prime mini
now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you! thank you one and all. welcome everybody to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know, the world is still reeling from friday's terror attack in new zealand on two mosques by a white supremacist in which 50 muslim worshipers were killed. all of our hearts go out to those at the al noor and linwood mosques and...
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Mar 26, 2019
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and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! downtown! happy monday! welcome! welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) now, folks, how was everybody's weekend? ( cheers and applause ) i had a pretty good weekend. not as good as the president's, but good. in case you're coming to us from under your rock -- i hope you're all sitting down, and you all are, good. ( laughter ) out there, too. because this weekend, we got some troubling news -- our president is "not" a russian asset. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) it just feels strange to say. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: now, i say "troubling news" because, if trump isn't working with the russians, then what the hell is wrong with him? ( laughter ) if they don't have anything on him, why does he keep saying nice things about putin? ( laughter ) it's like, if at the end of "the manchurian candidate" when they show him the queen of diamonds, the guy's like, (as trump) "put away the card. don'
and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! downtown! happy monday! welcome! welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) now, folks, how was everybody's weekend? ( cheers and applause ) i had a pretty good weekend. not as good as the president's, but good. in case you're coming to us from under your rock -- i hope you're all sitting down,...
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Mar 14, 2019
03/19
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and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! applause ) >> stephen: welcome. beautiful. good to see you! welcome! welcome, ladies and gentlemen, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. now, let me ask you something-- personal question. anyone here afraid to fly? you ain't crazy. there have been some real there have been some real problems with theboeing 737 max 8. two of them have gone down since october, one just this past sunday. here's the problem, according to one pilot. "boeing jet's autopilot appears to cause the aircraft to tilt down suddenly." that's not good. ( laughter ) i don't even like it when the seat in front of me tilts down suddenly. "sir, i just want to watch 'infinity war.' i don't want to lick it." not only that, "pilots repeatedly voiced safety concerns to federal authorities, with one captain calling the flight manual "inadequate and almost criminally insufficient." turns out, the flight manual is just a copy of "departures" magazine. ( as
and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! applause ) >> stephen: welcome. beautiful. good to see you! welcome! welcome, ladies and gentlemen, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. now, let me ask you something-- personal question. anyone here afraid to fly? you ain't crazy. there have been some real there have been some real problems with theboeing 737 max...
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Mar 13, 2019
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>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." >> tonight, liar education! plus, stephen welcomes john turturro andrew rannells and musical guest robyn. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) thank you, jon. gentlemen, ladies. welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. there is a huge-- huge scandal rocking the news cycle today. and it has to do with higher education, right, so donald trump is not involved. ( laughter ) sort of refreshing in a horrible way. you know how conspiracy theorists say, "everything is rigged for the wealthy and famous"? well, as a wealthy famous person, let me just respond by saying, "you're absolutely right." ( laughter ) ( applause ) this morning, the f.b.i. announced that they were charging dozens of wealthy parents with using "bribery and other forms of fraud to facilitate their children's admission" to elite schools, including stanfor
>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." >> tonight, liar education! plus, stephen welcomes john turturro andrew rannells and musical guest robyn. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) thank you, jon. gentlemen, ladies. welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen...
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Mar 20, 2019
03/19
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>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, check and unbalanced. , stephen welcomes chris hayes and nico parker featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wow! wow! please, everybody, have a seat! thank you so much. please, sit, sit, sit! you're very kind, everybody. welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. you know how-- ( cheers and applause ) you know how we're all worried about the national debt or the deficit-- and i don't know which one of those is which, but you know they're both bad -- kind of like eric and don jr. i'm not sure. ( laughter ) well guess what? you can stop worrying, because last night, president trump tweeted "while the press doesn't like writing about it, nor do i need them to, i donate my yearly presidential salary of $400,000 to different agencies throughout the year. this is to homeland security. if i didn't do it, there would be hell to pay from the fake news media!" ( l
>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, check and unbalanced. , stephen welcomes chris hayes and nico parker featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wow! wow! please, everybody, have a seat! thank you so much. please, sit, sit, sit! you're very kind, everybody. welcome, one and all to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen...
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Mar 12, 2019
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i'm your host stephen colbert. i forgot to say this friday but happy march, everybody. we made it through february. it was such an accomplishment to make it through february. >> jon: a tough month. >> stephen: also happy budget day. the president released his 2020 spending plan, which he's calling "a budget for a better america: promises kept. taxpayers first." okay, pick a slogan. ( laughter ) just one. that title's got a little junk in the trunk. but he overdoes everything. it's always too much. originally, trump wanted to call it: "a budget for a better america: finger lickin' good. we are farmers. bum bah dum dah bum bah da bah bah bah. i'm lovin' it." ( laughter ) and the reviews are already in. house democrats rave, "dead on arrival," "no chance of passing," and "divorced from reality.'" ( laughter ) is there anything he won't divorce? ( laughter ) ♪ whoa, now >> stephen: democrats have a very good reason for opposing this budget: it includes a request for at least $8.6 billion more in funding for a wall. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: you were a little late, but
i'm your host stephen colbert. i forgot to say this friday but happy march, everybody. we made it through february. it was such an accomplishment to make it through february. >> jon: a tough month. >> stephen: also happy budget day. the president released his 2020 spending plan, which he's calling "a budget for a better america: promises kept. taxpayers first." okay, pick a slogan. ( laughter ) just one. that title's got a little junk in the trunk. but he overdoes...
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Mar 5, 2019
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live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: beautiful! beautiful! thank you! please, have a seat, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) whoo! thank you very much! welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. it's good to be back. i miss these good penal. i miss you all. we've been off. trum week so great becau oooh, oooh, the news cycle road him hard and put him away wet. ugly. ( laughter ) here's the thing: i kind of unplugged from the news cycle, then i kind of like take little sips a couple of days before i come back in just to reacclimate myself, couple sips of poison so it doesn't kill you on the day back. and the first indication i had that the orange man was feeling blue was the historically-long and epically-weird speech he gave saturday at the conservative political action conference or d-bag. ( laughter ) is that what it is? it's an acronym for that. ( applause ) the crazy began before trump even started talking. ♪ i gladly stand up next to you and defend her still toda
live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city it's stephen colbert! eers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: beautiful! beautiful! thank you! please, have a seat, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) whoo! thank you very much! welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. it's good to be back. i miss these good penal. i miss you all. we've been off. trum week so great becau oooh, oooh, the news cycle road him hard and put him away wet. ugly. ( laughter )...
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Mar 6, 2019
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( cheers and applause ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, dem-pire strikes back. plus, stephen welcomes kit harrington amber tamblyn and musical guest hozier. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: how are you? ( cheers and applause ) nicely done. please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. thanks, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) do you think donald trump ever regrets winning the presidency ( laughter ) not as much as we do, but just a little? ( laughter ) right now, he's being investigated by multiple congressional committees. the mueller report could drop any minute, and that flag he hugged is being interviewed by ronan farrow. yesterday, the house judiciary committee sent letters demanding information from over 80 people and institutions connected to trump, including the white house, the justice department, senior campaign of
( cheers and applause ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, dem-pire strikes back. plus, stephen welcomes kit harrington amber tamblyn and musical guest hozier. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: how are you? ( cheers and applause ) nicely done. please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. thanks, ladies and gentlemen....
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Mar 27, 2019
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and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: please, have a seat! whoo! that's nice! that feels good. welcome. welcome one and all to "the late show." i am your host stephen colbert. well, i think we all know that the number one story in america is and will be for the foreseeable future the mueller report, and just like the mueller report, we are wrong about that because this morning, we learned that, for some reason, "charges have been dropped against 'empire' actor jussie smollett." ( booing ) >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: man, bill barr has been busy. ( laughter ) for those of you who haven't been following this story, let me catch you up -- i dunno. ( laughter ) i dunno what's going on. doesn't make any sense. ( applause ) there's one thing, another thing, another thing again. but here's the deal -- first, smollett told police he had been the victim of a hate crime in which two white men had attacked him and shouted racist and homophobic slurs.
and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: please, have a seat! whoo! that's nice! that feels good. welcome. welcome one and all to "the late show." i am your host stephen colbert. well, i think we all know that the number one story in america is and will be for the foreseeable future the mueller report, and just like the mueller report, we are...
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Mar 20, 2019
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. >> wait until you see how she's scaring stephen colbert in real life.nother storm rolling into the bay area ....we are tracking rain into the start of spring. and this will be the first in a series of storms heading our way.. a shocking revelation for some north bay parents ---who found out their young students accessed explicit content at school. how it happened. plus... an attorney finds documents he says show p-g- and-e knew of risks before the deadly camp fire.... and did not take action i'm ken wayne i'm pam moore. the news -- at eight -- is the news -- at eight -- is next. ♪ with no hormones! ♪ paragard's 100% hormone free ♪ and over 99% effective, ♪ that's key! ♪ no hormones! ♪ not an ounce, ♪ with an ingredient ♪ i can pronounce. paragard is a hormone-free iud that's over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. if you experience pain, pelvic infection, or miss a period, call your healthcare provider. pregnancy is rare but serious and can cause infertility or loss of pregnancy. rarely, paragard may attach to or go through the uterus. want hormone
. >> wait until you see how she's scaring stephen colbert in real life.nother storm rolling into the bay area ....we are tracking rain into the start of spring. and this will be the first in a series of storms heading our way.. a shocking revelation for some north bay parents ---who found out their young students accessed explicit content at school. how it happened. plus... an attorney finds documents he says show p-g- and-e knew of risks before the deadly camp fire.... and did not take...
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Mar 20, 2019
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. >> wait until you see how she's scaring stephen colbert in real life.mber one choice of hospitals pampers swaddlers is two times softer and wraps your baby in our most premium protection. because everything that touches your baby should be this comforting. pampers. the #1 choice of hospitals, nurses & parents. >>> travel considerations provided by -- >>> tomorrow on "e.t."- accomplished. >> leo, brad, our first look at once upon a time in hollywood. >>> and luke perry's final movie role. >>> then, we're with the woman who took her love of meghan markle to the next level. >> i had it put into my cheeks, rhinoplas rhinoplasty. >> inside her $30,000 meghan makeover, and the plastic surgery backlash. >> telling me i look nothing like her. i should be asking the doctor for a refund. >> tomorrow on "e.t." >>> tomorrowly all eyes would be on lupita nyong'o's bright pink jump suit, but take a close look at her eyes. i mean, yikes. she broke out the creepy contacts for her appearance on "the late show" with stephen colbert. >> she explained the look. >> i'm goin
. >> wait until you see how she's scaring stephen colbert in real life.mber one choice of hospitals pampers swaddlers is two times softer and wraps your baby in our most premium protection. because everything that touches your baby should be this comforting. pampers. the #1 choice of hospitals, nurses & parents. >>> travel considerations provided by -- >>> tomorrow on "e.t."- accomplished. >> leo, brad, our first look at once upon a time in hollywood....
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Mar 9, 2019
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here comes kool-aid ♪ here comes kool-aid >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." ght attention: deficit disorder. plus, stephen welcomes cory booker matt ingebretson. jake weisman featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: happy friday. happy friday. happy friday! welcome. thank you, citizens. welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. first of all,-- ( cheers and applause ) you know what that is, jon? >> jon: yes. >> stephen: you know what that is? >> jon: what's that? what's that? >> stephen: that's a friday audience right there. that's the real deal. that's the real deal. >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: yeah. how are you? happy friday, everybody. on friday, i like to take a step back and get some perspective. you know, because sometimes we get so caught up with all the investigations into donald trump, we forget to notice what a bad job he's doing, because when you look at the
here comes kool-aid ♪ here comes kool-aid >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." ght attention: deficit disorder. plus, stephen welcomes cory booker matt ingebretson. jake weisman featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: happy friday. happy friday. happy friday! welcome. thank you, citizens. welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all...
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Mar 7, 2019
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>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, papa, can you clear me? plus, stephen welcomes willie geist phoebe waller-bridge and comedian dwayne perkins. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! beautiful! beautiful, beautiful! please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. welcome. welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. there are so many-- ( applause ). ( cheers ) there are so many investigations swirling around donald trump right now that r. kelly is like, "i'm glad i'm not that guy." ( laughter ) and the majority of americans think he is guilty of something. according to a poll that came out yesterday, 64% thought trump had committed crimes before he became president, including 33% of republicans. and, yet, his approval rating with republicans is 82%. "police! police! he just stole my wallet! stop that man! i want to vote for him!" ( laughter ) but-- but-- ( cheers an
>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, papa, can you clear me? plus, stephen welcomes willie geist phoebe waller-bridge and comedian dwayne perkins. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! beautiful! beautiful, beautiful! please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. welcome. welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to...
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Mar 28, 2019
03/19
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. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, health don't care. , stephen welcomes charles barkley and tig naturo featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello! ( cheers ) >> stephen:hey! how are you? good to see you, jon. what's up? >> jon: what's happening. >> stephen: good. you good, chris? please, have a seat, everybody. thank you much. thanks, everybody. in here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) donald trump has been living it up since the barr report on the mueller report totally cleared him of half the charges. and that is a huge boost, and you can see it in his approval ratings. on march 23, the day before the mueller report was delivered, trump was at 41.9%. but today, with the collusion cloud lifted, that number has soared to 41.9%. ( cheers and applause ) which is a difference of... let me see. 41 point... ( laughter ) ah, nothing m
. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, health don't care. , stephen welcomes charles barkley and tig naturo featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello! ( cheers ) >> stephen:hey! how are you? good to see you, jon. what's up? >> jon: what's happening. >> stephen: good. you good, chris? please, have a seat,...
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Mar 29, 2019
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and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! lause ) >> stephen: beautiful. hello! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. and i just can't believe these people have. they've been through hell and back this afternoon in this weather out here. ( cheers and applause ) um, folks, you know how the government can't get anything done and congress can't agree on anything? well, big news, because something happened. uh, i think. probably. ( laughter ) and i'm feeling very t.b.d. and all we know right now is people are talking about it a lot, so that's not nothing, one imagines. here's what might have happened: last night a bipartisan group of key lawmakers announced a tentative deal that would avert another government shutdown at the end of the week. a tentative deal at the end of the week. ( laughter ) i will be conditionally impressed, at some later date. ( cheers and applause ) right now, i'm like-- the sticking point, of course, has been trump's wall. he demanded $5.7 billion to build 215 miles of wall. a: experts
and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! lause ) >> stephen: beautiful. hello! welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. and i just can't believe these people have. they've been through hell and back this afternoon in this weather out here. ( cheers and applause ) um, folks, you know how the government can't get anything done and congress can't agree on anything? well, big news, because something happened. uh, i...
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and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: how are you? welcome, everybody. please! hello, you lovely people. hello, you lovely people. welcome one and all, in here, out there, all around the planet. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. happy wednesday! or as some call it, "thursday's friday." everyone is breathlessly waiting for the mueller report to come out. and there have been signs today that it might, maybe, possibly, definitely, or not be released soon, because we just learned that one of mueller's prosecutors "has concluded her detail," making her the third senior member of mueller's team whose plans have been confirmed in recent weeks to leave. you know what that means. probably something. ( laughter ) one imagines. >> jon: it has to mean something. >> stephen: it can't mean nothing. >> jon: everything happens for a reason. >> stephen: as politico put it, "neither mueller nor his justice department supervisors have s
and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: how are you? welcome, everybody. please! hello, you lovely people. hello, you lovely people. welcome one and all, in here, out there, all around the planet. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. happy wednesday! or as some call it, "thursday's friday." everyone is breathlessly...
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>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, howdie pard their. us, stephen welcomes donnie wahlberg heidi schreck featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hole! right this way! right this way! right this way! jon! hello! >> jon: what's going on? >> stephen: what's up, louis? >> stephen: stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: thanks, everybody! welcome, one and all. please, have a seat! thank you very much. beautiful. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. first of all, information, happy friday. happy friday. happy early saint patrick's day from our friends from the old sod out there. you know who could use a little luck of the irish? donald trump. because the house of representatives is after him, like they're after a leprechaun's pot of gold. and they're dotting the i's and spilling the tea. first victim: former trump attorney and cartoon meerkat, michael cohen. cohen original
>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, howdie pard their. us, stephen welcomes donnie wahlberg heidi schreck featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hole! right this way! right this way! right this way! jon! hello! >> jon: what's going on? >> stephen: what's up, louis? >> stephen: stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen!...
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$4,392,000,200 -- >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert.
$4,392,000,200 -- >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert.
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." ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. ght, borderline emergency. plus, stephen welcomes: bradley cooper. and mayor pete buttigieg. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hello! hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) come on! please have a seat, everybody. what a nice, energetic crowd. thanks for being here. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) first of all, happy-- let me start off by saying, happy valentine's day! ( cheers and applause ) happy valentine's day to everybody! i'm going to spend tonight with those i love the most-- my audience. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) tonight's the night. ( laughter ) relationship's getting pretty serious, is what i'm saying. ( laughter ) also, tomorrow is the deadline for a budget deal in congress. so, what happened was,
." ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. ght, borderline emergency. plus, stephen welcomes: bradley cooper. and mayor pete buttigieg. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hello! hey, everybody! ( cheers and...
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Mar 12, 2019
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them. ( heavenly choir ) ( laughter ) ( heavenly choir ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colberthen welcomes damian
them. ( heavenly choir ) ( laughter ) ( heavenly choir ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colberthen welcomes damian
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Mar 26, 2019
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runners at first and second >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> >> you're watching "the wellnessour," the leader in medical news fo
runners at first and second >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> >> you're watching "the wellnessour," the leader in medical news fo
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Mar 29, 2019
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. >> the w >> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast, you got it. 4:30 tomorrow morning. i'll be there. goodnight. >> announcer: the following is a paid presentation made possible by the support of the friends and partners of inspiration ministries. [applause] >> welcome to inspiration ministries! i'm james payne. thank you for joining us today. i want you to get your bible. in just a moment, i'm gonna talk to you about the power of a seed, planted in the right place, at the right time. settle in and get ready! the throne zone singers, and hope restoration choir are going to sing for you "your love awakens me". ♪ ♪ there were walls between us ♪
. >> the w >> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast, you got it. 4:30 tomorrow morning. i'll be there. goodnight. >> announcer: the following is a paid presentation made possible by the support of the friends and partners of inspiration ministries. [applause] >> welcome to inspiration ministries! i'm james payne. thank you for joining us today. i want you to get your bible. in just a moment, i'm gonna talk to you about the power of a...
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. >> drama tonig >> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast is tomorrow morningo fish! it only takes a moment to make a moment. take time to be a dad today. (female announcer) america's number one anti-aging body treatment system for crepey skin just got even better. (male announcer) new crepe erase advanced gives you even faster results and is clinically shown to give you
. >> drama tonig >> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast is tomorrow morningo fish! it only takes a moment to make a moment. take time to be a dad today. (female announcer) america's number one anti-aging body treatment system for crepey skin just got even better. (male announcer) new crepe erase advanced gives you even faster results and is clinically shown to give you
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Mar 15, 2019
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. >> and here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert. narrator: in utah, you're livin' on mountain time and there's nothing standard about that. with 10 resorts less than an hour from salt lake international airport, mountain time means more time on more resorts on the greatest snow on earth. it means more time with the kids and more time away from the kids. ski more, shred more, chill more, cheers more because mountain time is a state of mind that can only be found in one place. utah. >>> all right, bay area. here it is. the model y. >> tesla unveiling its next big thing just a couple hours ago. the midsized suv fits seven passengers. the standard version can go more than 200 miles on a single charge. elon musk says it has the functionality of an suv but rides like a sports car. prices start at $39,000. the model j expected to hit the market in late 2020. >> i knew there was a reason i waited. >> really? you like the y? >> i like the y. >> why not? >> exactly. it's in my ball park. we got more movement on the 49er front tonight. can the
. >> and here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert. narrator: in utah, you're livin' on mountain time and there's nothing standard about that. with 10 resorts less than an hour from salt lake international airport, mountain time means more time on more resorts on the greatest snow on earth. it means more time with the kids and more time away from the kids. ski more, shred more, chill more, cheers more because mountain time is a state of mind that can only be found in...
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. >> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast, you got it. 4:30 tomorrow morningbe there. goodnight. captioning sponsored by cbs >> president trump's 2020 campaign kicked off last night in el paso, texas. ♪ ♪ >> you're not allowed to own cows anymore. ♪ ♪ >> it's the radical left coming for your money, and they're
. >> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast, you got it. 4:30 tomorrow morningbe there. goodnight. captioning sponsored by cbs >> president trump's 2020 campaign kicked off last night in el paso, texas. ♪ ♪ >> you're not allowed to own cows anymore. ♪ ♪ >> it's the radical left coming for your money, and they're
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. >> she hosted with stephen colbert who asked about this. >> thanks to her for totally redeeming herselfer the smollett fiasco. >> that was not gayle king. >> i knew that. >> robin roberts. >> i just thought, okay. all right. it's okay. >> gayle said she personally e-mailed the the host who made the correction. >> i said, hi. just wanted to thank you for letting him know that we're two different people and could you let the rest of your colleagues know that not all black people look alike? could you share that? >> tonight, the rest of the interviews airs. gayle told us she was a little taken aback when she walked into r. kelly's home. >> we went inside his apartment where you can see he has a christmas tree that stays up all year long. it was also very hot. what is the temperature in here? 90 degrees? it was very hot and he says he does that for his voice and he was planning to sing later. >>> coming up -- meghan markle celebrates international women's day by talking about her baby bump for the first time. >>> then, imagine buying your dream home. >> i won $5 million by accident. >> we'r
. >> she hosted with stephen colbert who asked about this. >> thanks to her for totally redeeming herselfer the smollett fiasco. >> that was not gayle king. >> i knew that. >> robin roberts. >> i just thought, okay. all right. it's okay. >> gayle said she personally e-mailed the the host who made the correction. >> i said, hi. just wanted to thank you for letting him know that we're two different people and could you let the rest of your...
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. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> captioning sponsored by cbs >> we want you. stay!re investigations that have to be done! ( laughter ) and we still have questions that have to be answered! ( laughter ) why is trump so supportive of putin? ( laughter ) why did trump's son meet with a russian lawyer in a secret meeting? why did trump lie about the moscow tower?
. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> captioning sponsored by cbs >> we want you. stay!re investigations that have to be done! ( laughter ) and we still have questions that have to be answered! ( laughter ) why is trump so supportive of putin? ( laughter ) why did trump's son meet with a russian lawyer in a secret meeting? why did trump lie about the moscow tower?
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. >> and here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert. ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel justor kicks, now ♪ ♪ i been feeling it since 1966, now ♪ ♪ might be over now, but i feel it still ♪ ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel just for kicks, now ♪ ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel just for kicks, now ♪ ♪ let me kick it like it's 1986, now ♪ ♪ might be over now, but i feel it still ♪ ♪ might why are all these business owners so excited? we're going to comcast. it's ahead of the game, ahead of the curve. it's going to add to the productivity of our business. it's switch and save days at comcast business. right now, get fast, reliable internet for $49.95 a month and save $600 a year. just one more way we take your business beyond. but hurry, switch and save days ends april 7th. internet that's reliable. internet that's fast. that's super important. i just want to get it right now. call today. comcast business. beyond fast. >>> all right, bay area. here it is. the model y. >> tesla unveiling its next big thing just a couple hours ago. the midsized suv fits seven passengers. the standard version can go mo
. >> and here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert. ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel justor kicks, now ♪ ♪ i been feeling it since 1966, now ♪ ♪ might be over now, but i feel it still ♪ ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel just for kicks, now ♪ ♪ ooh woo, i'm a rebel just for kicks, now ♪ ♪ let me kick it like it's 1986, now ♪ ♪ might be over now, but i feel it still ♪ ♪ might why are all these business owners so excited? we're going to comcast. it's ahead of...
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. >> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30.today, president trump tweeted "airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. i see it all the time in many products, always seeking to go one unnecessary step further when often old and simpler is far better. i don't know about you, but i don't want albert einstein to be my pilot." >> here's president trump on the tarmac preparing for his trip abroad. he's declared air travel as too complicated, which is why he'll be flying in the newly designed air force one. there he is loading into the craft. safety first, as he straps his helmet on. no einsteins here. it's back to basics! have a great trip, mr. president. there he goes! gaining speed. conditions are perfect for flight. engines engaged. oh, and he's down! and apparent o
. >> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30.today, president trump tweeted "airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. i see it all the time in many products, always seeking to go one unnecessary step further when often old and simpler is far better. i don't know about you, but i don't want albert einstein to be my pilot." >> here's president trump on the tarmac preparing for his trip abroad. he's declared air...
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. >> the late slow with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast tomorrow morning at 30.his: cannot change the laws of god. when he has visited you in some form of adversity and he brings you through that, that's like he has increased the strength of the foundation of your life and your faith in him. [music] - [announcer] the following is a sponsored presentation for the national real estate network. get ready. because we have the perfect opportunity for you. and here to tell you all about it is actor, athlete, and successful entrepreneur dean cain. - have you been looking for a way to achieve your financial goals?
. >> the late slow with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast tomorrow morning at 30.his: cannot change the laws of god. when he has visited you in some form of adversity and he brings you through that, that's like he has increased the strength of the foundation of your life and your faith in him. [music] - [announcer] the following is a sponsored presentation for the national real estate network. get ready. because we have the perfect opportunity for you. and here to tell...
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. >> the late slow with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast tomorrow morning at 30.s >> welcome to cbs sports. i'm larry boberry. >> and i'm gary nanafanafoferry. >> well, grandma's got a mouse cornered, and the cat's making oatmeal. democratic presidential march madness is under way. in the north, we have elizabeth warren, the former okie fighting for people who are brokey, versus bernie sanders, the 1% crusher and infrequent hair brusher who do you like? >> warren is a student of the game, and from what i understand, she has one heck of a tomahawk dunk, if you know what i mean. >> i do not. >> in the west, we have former colorado governor john hickenlooper versus a bucket of vowels. >> anybody who's anybody is running, which is why i'm announcing my candidacy for president.
. >> the late slow with stephen colbert is next. >> our next newscast tomorrow morning at 30.s >> welcome to cbs sports. i'm larry boberry. >> and i'm gary nanafanafoferry. >> well, grandma's got a mouse cornered, and the cat's making oatmeal. democratic presidential march madness is under way. in the north, we have elizabeth warren, the former okie fighting for people who are brokey, versus bernie sanders, the 1% crusher and infrequent hair brusher who do you...
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. >> reporter: he told stephen colbert last year he said aside old animosities toward political enemies>> you've outlived most of them, i'm guessing. >> that's another secret to my success, yes. >> reporter: jimmy carter, the energizer bunny of former presidents. chip reid, cbs news, washington. >>> that is the "overnight news" for this friday. for others check back later for the morning news and "cbs this morning. ♪ >>> this is the "cbs overnight news." >>> welcome to the overnight news. i'm michelle miller. the justice department has issued subpoenas in a boeing 737 max aircraft. two of the brand new planes that dropped from the sky in the past five months and several probes are looking at how the plane was marketed, sold and certified. >> reporter: more than a week into the ground of the 737 max the focus is increasingly on boeing. the fraud unit subpoenaed documents related to 737 max approval process. >> these kind of cases hinge on what did boeing know? who did they tell about it? >> reporter: it's likely to be a target of a oinvestigators. the "seattle times" said it repeatedly -
. >> reporter: he told stephen colbert last year he said aside old animosities toward political enemies>> you've outlived most of them, i'm guessing. >> that's another secret to my success, yes. >> reporter: jimmy carter, the energizer bunny of former presidents. chip reid, cbs news, washington. >>> that is the "overnight news" for this friday. for others check back later for the morning news and "cbs this morning. ♪ >>> this is the...
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. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> all you lustful, sinful, californians. >> oh, captioningponsored by cbs >> and now the russian response to the state of the union.
. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> all you lustful, sinful, californians. >> oh, captioningponsored by cbs >> and now the russian response to the state of the union.
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. >> playing games tomorrow, first >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> you ys even ifsecondhand smoke can be closer than you think. secondhand smoke from a neighbor's apartment can enter your home through air vents, through light fixtures and even through cracks in the walls and the floors. secondhand smoke is toxic. especially to children. protect your family. visit tobaccofreeca.com. for the national real estate network. get ready. because we have the perfect opportunity for you. and here to tell you all about it is actor, athlete, and successful entrepreneur dean cain. - have you been looking for a way to achieve your financial goals? have you ever thought that you could achieve those goals
. >> playing games tomorrow, first >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> you ys even ifsecondhand smoke can be closer than you think. secondhand smoke from a neighbor's apartment can enter your home through air vents, through light fixtures and even through cracks in the walls and the floors. secondhand smoke is toxic. especially to children. protect your family. visit tobaccofreeca.com. for the national real estate network. get ready. because we have the...
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. >> >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> . have a great weekend.y because it's going to be captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ ♪ >> i like him. >> great job they're doing.
. >> >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> . have a great weekend.y because it's going to be captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ ♪ >> i like him. >> great job they're doing.
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presidential candidate cory booker reacted to the sentencing during a taping of "the late show with stephen colbert >> were you shocked that he only got 47 months -- >> no, the criminal justice system can't surprise me anymore. >> reporter: the reaction was similar on social media with lawyers and advocates pointing out lesser crimes that ended with harsher sentences. and it's not over for manafort just yet. next week he faces another sentencing in washington, d.c., in a separate case related to illegal lobbying. that judge will decide whether manafort serves his two sentences at the same time or whether they should be served consecutively. anne-marie? >> all right. laura podesta in new york. thanks a lot. >>> on capitol hill, the house passed a resolution condemning anti-semitism and other bigotry. it passed easily in a 407-23 vote. all the no votes came from republicans. the resolution was drawn up as a response to freshman representative ilhan omar who had suggested house supporters of israel have dual allegiances. the minnesota democrat was not named in the final version of the resolution. omar
presidential candidate cory booker reacted to the sentencing during a taping of "the late show with stephen colbert >> were you shocked that he only got 47 months -- >> no, the criminal justice system can't surprise me anymore. >> reporter: the reaction was similar on social media with lawyers and advocates pointing out lesser crimes that ended with harsher sentences. and it's not over for manafort just yet. next week he faces another sentencing in washington, d.c., in a...
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interesting interview with steve mccall bear in tulsa gabbert who is running for president and the stephen colbert was wrecking the case will merit goes the policeman of the world and people of the world looks to america for god is america is the shining city on the hill right and you know. she was making the point that maybe you need to revisit this notion and a lot of these interferences and these foreign affairs cause of blowback and a lot more problems but this is a great story that shows exactly to the extent that the empire has flown that the rest of the world does doesn't trust the us to review any of this material when it comes to serious stuff like trying to figure out why these planes are blowing going in the wrong direction etc so it's really diminishing the whole role of the u.s. across you know the entire commercial and political spectrum and it was the first time ever in history in modern aviation whereby it was not the f.a.a. that led the f.a.a. the federal aviation authority in america it was the one that will ground an air craft that will say no the air bus something something can
interesting interview with steve mccall bear in tulsa gabbert who is running for president and the stephen colbert was wrecking the case will merit goes the policeman of the world and people of the world looks to america for god is america is the shining city on the hill right and you know. she was making the point that maybe you need to revisit this notion and a lot of these interferences and these foreign affairs cause of blowback and a lot more problems but this is a great story that shows...
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who's running for president and stephen colbert was wrecking the case well merrick goes the policeman of the world and people of the world looks to america for guidance of america's the shining city on the hill right and you know she was making the point that maybe we need to revisit this notion and that the a lot of these interferences and these foreign affairs cause of blowback and a lot more problems but this is a great story that shows exactly to the extent that the empire is phone that the rest of the world does doesn't trust the u.s. to review any of this material when it comes to serious stuff like trying to figure out why these planes are blowing going in the wrong direction etc so it's really diminishing the whole role of the u.s. across you know the entire commercial and political spectrum and it was the first time ever in history in modern aviation whereby it was not the f.a.a. that led the f.a.a. the federal aviation authority in america it was the one that will ground an air craft that will say no the air bus something something cannot fly here or whatever airline cannot
who's running for president and stephen colbert was wrecking the case well merrick goes the policeman of the world and people of the world looks to america for guidance of america's the shining city on the hill right and you know she was making the point that maybe we need to revisit this notion and that the a lot of these interferences and these foreign affairs cause of blowback and a lot more problems but this is a great story that shows exactly to the extent that the empire is phone that the...
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. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> . have a great weekend.t's going to be sunny. go out and enjoy because it's going to be >> today, on "face the truth." >> she was supposed to come visit you. >> i was at the airport for 30 hours waiting on her. i thought you got kidnapped. >> has he been caught by a catfish? >> how much money have you sent her? >> over $100,000. in lsee thon, or stay hooked? >> we have made contact with the fbi. >> is this couple headed for tragedy? face the truth. ♪ [applause] >> vivica: gina says her dad, james, is getting conned by a woman he met on facebook. to the tune of $100,000. [audience reacts] thinks of gotten so bad that james has to borrow gas money from gina, and can't even pay his electric bill. but james says this woman has his heart. he expected her to arrive at his home last christmas. she never came. >> you have to believe me -- i love this woman, and i am sitting in front of this tree that i put up last year, still waiting for her to get here. why would i spend all this money and care for them kids and he
. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> . have a great weekend.t's going to be sunny. go out and enjoy because it's going to be >> today, on "face the truth." >> she was supposed to come visit you. >> i was at the airport for 30 hours waiting on her. i thought you got kidnapped. >> has he been caught by a catfish? >> how much money have you sent her? >> over $100,000. in lsee thon, or stay hooked? >> we have made...
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. >> reporter: he told stephen colbert last year he said aside old animosities toward political enemiesutlived most of them, i'm guessing. >> that's another secret to my success, yes. >> reporter: jimmy carter, the energizer bunny of former presidents. chip reid, cbs news, washington. >> glor: that is the "cbs evening news" for tonight.iee y. ve a
. >> reporter: he told stephen colbert last year he said aside old animosities toward political enemiesutlived most of them, i'm guessing. >> that's another secret to my success, yes. >> reporter: jimmy carter, the energizer bunny of former presidents. chip reid, cbs news, washington. >> glor: that is the "cbs evening news" for tonight.iee y. ve a