it's happening. >> steve: it's nuts. >> jimmy: i almost got sick right there. >> steve: yeah.it's nuts. >> jimmy: dude, i have butterflies in my stomach. i got so nervous, i almost got -- sick. >> steve: it's wild. yeah. i know. >> jimmy: in my mouth. >> steve: i don't blame you. in your mouth from the chyme from your stomach going up. >> jimmy: but what's going on with these two dudes? i mean, i know these people, separately. differently. and they're both nice human beings. together they're just like, oil and -- >> steve: oil and vinegar. >> jimmy: vinegar, like a good salad dressing. [ laughter ] for the past few months -- >> steve: no, i mean -- >> jimmy: for the past few months, these guys have been going back and forth. they're similar looking and they get mistaken for one another all the time and they're both sick of it. >> steve: yeah. they're done. >> jimmy: they're mad. they decided to do something about it so they're going to have a drum off. will ferrell -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: and the drummer from the red hot chili peppers. chad smith. >> steve: chad smith. d

car -- >> steve: king, queen, king. >> jimmy: "game of thrones." >> steve: oh! steve: "game of thrones." >> jimmy: "game of thrones." oh my god. our thanks to steve higgins, josh hartnett, charlize theron, "a million ways to die in the west" is out may 30th. josh and i are going to talk after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when was the last time your wireless company made you feel like this? or this? the new cricket wireless believes you should be doing... a lot more of this. so we don't have any of those silly annual contracts. but we do have a whole lot of coverage. all for just $35 dollars a month; after a $5 credit for using auto pay. so everyone can feel like this! the new cricket wireless. something to smile about. [ female announcer ] neutrogena® pore refining cleanser. alpha-hydroxy and exfoliating beads work to clean and tighten pores so they can look half their size. pores...shrink 'em down to size! [ female announcer ] pore refining cleanser. neutrogena®. going so when you earnbig... your bachelor's or master's degree... ...at de

future. >> steve: dvd., baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? hey, call this 1-900 number. >> steve: yeah? >> jimmy: i'm a little bit crazy, man. drive you nuts. feels like a crazy -- is that like old-timey phone? >> steve: old-timey phone. [ laughter ] [ ring ] hello. >> steve: hello? is this the party line? >> jimmy: no. >> steve: you know there's a a party. i'm wearing a one-piece. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @rmharris3488. he says, "my six year-old son calls me by my first name instead of daddy. this morning he walked into the kitchen, said, 'what's for breakfast, ron?'" [ laughter ] that's pretty cute, man. >> steve: yeah. hey, ron. >> jimmy: he reminds me of you with james. we went to -- before we did this we did the thanksgiving day parade. remember that? we're sitting on the bus. it's like they put you on a bus before you do the parade. we're sitting on the bus and we're hanging out. it's like 6:00 in the morning, and we get on and ronald mcdonald comes on our bus. and we're all freaking out

no real clowns. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: yeah, no. just famous voices. >> steve: okay.arl jones? >> jimmy: james earl jones, okay. he's interested. i've heard from his agent. [ laughter ] >> steve: morgan freeman as clown god. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he said he might do it. he's on the fence. >> steve: he's not for sure. >> jimmy: i have to talk to his agent. >> steve: i mean, this is big. >> jimmy: yeah, this is giant. [ laughter ] and finally, you guys, this is -- we'll talk about this later. this was getting big on youtube today. i guess this dad was filming his son and he asked his son to name all the bad words he knew. and watch the kid's response. >> tell me all the bad words you know. go. >> crap. shut up. butthead. butthole. and -- butt crack. and -- [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: there we go. [ applause ] i have a feeling he's going to learn a few more words when his mother sees what daddy put up on youtube. we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. oh, man. this feels good. >> steve: ye

>> steve: what!a good week. [ cheers and applause ] that's a fun song that tune yard jam. tonight though, this guy's officially -- he makes the funniest movie in the world. this movie, "neighbors." i'm telling you, it's going to destroy. it's so hilariously funny but also very sweet. i was laughing and crying. [ laughter ] but i'm a very emotional guy. seth rogan is here you guys. [ cheers and applause ] he's a funny, funny guy. >> steve: love that dude. >> jimmy: it's a funny, funny movie. >> steve: he's a delight. >> jimmy: plus, he stars in the new hbo film. he's amazing in it, "the normal heart." matt bomer is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and you want good music? you guys like good music? [ cheers and applause ] we have it tonight! >> steve: what! >> jimmy: i've known this band, not before they were famous, but after they were famous. but -- [ laughter ] -- still a long time. >> steve: yeah, a long time. >> jimmy: i can't take credit for any of their success. >> steve: but you were their

>> steve: my record of beading? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: well, let's see. i think six times.t's fun? sit on your hand, gets numb, you can pretend like somebody else is beading for you. [ laughter ] love crafts, love art. >> jimmy: how is art doing? >> steve: art is not well. >> jimmy: hey. next up is an exercise book. we have "yoga for equestrians: a new path for achieving union with the horse." this person is definitely doing yoga and that horse is definitely thinking "please find me a new owner. i cannot take this weirdo anymore." let's take a look inside here. looks fun. a fun book here. journey begins. there you go. bunch of people doing yoga. with a cat. so, that already -- [ laughter ] i don't know. is that what equestrian means? a cat owner? i don't think they know what equestrian means. oh yeah, this next book is pretty good here. i mean it's bad but it's good. it's called "mouth sounds: and how to whistle pop click and honk your way to social success. >> steve: honk, honk. >> jimmy: yeah. that guy's cool, man. >> steve: honk. hey come with me. >> jimmy: dude there's

>> steve: aw snap! [ laughter ] this one's from kelly marsh in amherst, massachusetts. she was looking at a restaurant menu online. saw something interesting here. we got subs. there look in the right hand column. buffalo wing sub made with children blue cheese and hot sauce. [ laughter ] >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: and freddy kruger's the chef. [ laughter ] >> steve: hannibal lector's in town. >> jimmy: fava beans. >> steve: ooh, chianti. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally this last screen grab was sent into us by erin nicolochi in highland -- high lands ranch, colorado. she was checking out some tv listings. let's see what's on everybody. big, dick tracy. [ laughter ] there ya go. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: weiner tower. [ clapping ] weiner tower. [ clapping ] >> jimmy: that's all we have for screen grabs. if you have a funny screen grab, email it to us at screengrabs@tonightshow.com and we might put it on the show. stick around. we'll be right back with louis c.k. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ doesn

this is steve.ike a chicken with its head cut off, answering every phone, i'm starting to realize that, my god, paula does a whole lot of work that i don't give her credit for. that i am starting to understand. dude, oh, my god. i'm losing my mind. i need paula back asap. guys, work with me a little bit, please. i got a lot of stuff going on. i'll be stepping out of the office for a little bit. you guys keep up the good work, and just get everything done, bottom line. so i'm going over to the golden nugget to meet lee pappas. today's the day he's gonna make his first $30,000 bet. and i'll tell you what-- i'm excited. so here's the deal. we're gonna go $30,000 on louisville. what we got is louisville playing connecticut. we got louisville at home, -28 points. i know 28 points is a lot, but there's a reason why the spread's so large. connecticut's 0-7. their defense is zero. their team is garb-age. their head coach got fired, and their backup coach sucks. and louisville is going to pound them. if they

it's hard out here for a b word. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: that's her song. >> steve: bite?e song. it's a good jam. it basically is a song about how it's hard to be a female entertainer. because sex sells. >> steve: true. >> jimmy: but that's what it's about. ♪ ♪ shake my ass for you 'cause i've got a brain if i told you 'bout my sex life, you'd ♪ ♪ call me a slut when boys be talkin' about their bitches, no one's makin' a fuss ♪ ♪ there's a glass ceilin' to break, uh-huh, there's money to make ♪ ♪ and now it's time to speed it up ♪ >> jimmy: fantastic. that's happening tonight. lily allen. >> steve: what! >> jimmy: performance tonight. [ cheers and applause ] smash hit song. so good for her. she's right. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah. you guys, as you know we're always striving to get better here at the "tonight show." ♪ harder, better faster, stronger ♪ [ laughter and applause ] so before every show we put out a suggestion box for the audience just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show. things you'd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. so tonight let

>> steve: all right. gentlemen, ready? >> ready! >> steve: set. go! >> oh!ghter ] >> oh, no! no! oh! yeah! scoreboard! yeah! ha! >> jimmy: ah! [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hugh jackman right there! "x-men: days of future past" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with jimmy page. ♪ ifyou may be muddlingble withrough allergies.nger... try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin. because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. zyrtec®. muddle no more™. and applebee's new grilled vidalia onion sirloin with that fresh-from-the-farm, sweet vidalia onion taste takes you straight to your summer happy place. [ man ] whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ [ male announcer ] hey, it looks like someone ordered right. tangy barbecue sauce and sweet vidalia onions. in season now. taste of summer entrees now start at just $9.99. another fresh reason to see you tomorrow. at applebee's. and see you late night for half-price apps. ain all its naked glory;see yothat's too hot for tv,e's. stripped of chocolate, with nothing but

>> steve: they're like droid. >> jimmy: he's always on the d-rod. >> steve: he's always, 24/7.5. she says, "i heard my mom say 'i love you.' i replied 'i love you too.' she said 'i'm sorry, i was talking to the dog.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: there we have it, some "tonight show" hashtags. check out more of our favorites go to tonight show.com/hashtags. or submit yours by downloading our "tonight show" app available on itunes and for android. stick around. be right back with michael fassbender, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ introducing new johnny appleseed hard apple cider. inspired by the man himself. a refreshingly sweet and intense hard cider with a crisp apple bite. best served on the rocks and among friends. johnny appleseed is the refreshingly sweet and intense choice of those with a story to tell. so try a johnny appleseed hard cider tonight and let the stories flow. welcome to the toyota time sales event. we're looking for something safe with a really smooth ride. he's a very light sleeper. oh, the camry's safe and has a smooth, comfortable ride. oh,

yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: yeah.e a little time off. >> jimmy: a little. >> steve: 'lil time off. >> jimmy: like 'lil wayne. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: a 'lil. >> steve: a 'lil. >> jimmy: a 'lil time off from his reelection campaign and going to go rehab. and we've done a lot of the rob ford jokes in the past. but actually, we're glad he's getting some help. and you know what? they have tvs in rehab. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: so if you are watching this mayor ford, we hope some of these jokes cheer you up. [ laughter ] here we go. [ cheers and applause ] you can tell rob ford is turning things around because now when he's holding a pipe in the basement, it is because he's fixing a leak. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's right. now rob ford, he drinks coke. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: it's very interesting. ♪ now his favorite rock is chris. ♪ [ honk ] [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating chris rock ] >> jimmy: "smoking crack." [ imitating chris rock ] "basement crack! not even upstairs crack. got a dirty crack, basement

rethink that idea. >> steve: yeah. themed limericks. >> jimmy: i thought this was a a sweet story here. three roommates have returned more than $40,000 that belonged to an elderly woman after they found the money in her old couch that they bought at a a thrift store. [ audience aws ] it got weird when the woman was like, "what happened to the weed? [ laughter ] "that's where i put my weed." [ laughter ] you guys may have heard about this. after the success of "the sound of music" last year, nbc just announced that they are planning to do more live musicals starting with "peter pan" and "the music man." >> tariq: i'm disappointed they're not doing a "tonight show" miracle. >> jimmy: me too. maybe next year. [ audience aws ] >> tariq: yeah. maybe next year, jimmy. [ light laughter ] ♪ ♪ i'm so sad i'm so sad don't know what i'm gonna do ♪ ♪ i'm so mad i feel had this isn't the show i want to do ♪ ♪ i want to sing i want to sing and show nbc what i can do ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ someday soon yes very soon like maybe n

>> steve: what's that? it just sounds creepy. >> steve: taste the rainbow. >> jimmy: stop saying that. ♪ thank you, spring, for being nature's version of puberty. ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, friends who send e-mail updates about the marathon their running for charity. for basically saying, here's an e-mail to make you feel like a a lazy and terrible person. good luck. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, brunch, for being alcoholism with a a side of toast. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah, come on. >> jimmy: they make the best bloody marys here. >> steve: it's my third bloody mary. >> jimmy: this is my fifth bloody mary -- >> steve: we're done with break. >> jimmy: it's our cigarette break. i got to eat four palmals. [ laughter ] do they still make palmals? >> steve: yeah, they still make palmals. >> jimmy: they do? >> steve: oh hell yeah. >> jimmy: my grandma -- smokes palmals. >> steve:did she smoke straights or filtered? >> jimmy: no straights man. yeah, it's crazy time. [ laugh

>> steve: no, that is not a a prank. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is so not a a prank. >> steve: whatnt to do for your prank? >> jimmy: dude, we gotta do a a prank, man. >> steve: i think, you know what i'm gonna do? >> jimmy: what? >> steve: i'm gonna urinate in the hallways and flip over some desks. but they'll never guess who did it. >> jimmy: where's the prank, dude? >> steve: what? what does prank mean? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i think prank is like a sandwich. [ laughter ] speaking of new jersey, a new survey found that 41% of new jersey residents want to move out of the state. [ laughter ] they would love too leave the state but someone keeps closing the bridges. [ laughter and applause ] oh, oh, hey. oh, hey, oh. listen to this. this is a new study that says neanderthals were actually just as smart as modern humans. so, not that smart. [ laughter ] unga, me take selfie with rock. [ laughter ] me put bread on cat's head, take photo. [ light laughter ] >> steve: me pee in cave as senior prank. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's not a prank. >> jimmy: cave drawing, c

he looks like a wax figure. >> steve: yeah.tar trek." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "star trek." >> steve: look at him. [ laughter ] look at the eyes. >> jimmy: maybe it is the eyes. >> steve: kirk, you will die. kirk. [ laughter ] yikes. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the new mcdonald's happy meal mascot called "happy" for looking like a california raisin had sex with a lego. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, kids love legos. >> jimmy: you need to sell a a happy meal? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you get a toy in it. you got a burger and a toy. >> steve: come on, i'm a kid. >> jimmy: i'm a kid, i want to make sure they have a spokesman there. ♪ thank you, the roots's new album "and then your shoot your cousin" for being a lot better than last week's release of "and then you kick your brother-in-law." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's a good record. >> steve: good record. excellent. >> jimmy: it's good record. [ sound effects ] >> steve: ghosts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i beat you, i beat you. ♪ thank you, heat, pacers, spurs and thunder, for so

i mean -- >> steve: wait, what?jimmy: and then finally we have -- there is "one spliff, two spliff, red spliff, blue -- wait, what were we talking about?" [ laughter and applause ] kids shouldn't be able to read those. finally, the new season of "the bachelorette" premiers in just a few weeks. i love "the bachelorette." love "the bachelor," love "the bachelorette." so last night i saw a sneak peek of some of the new contestants. check this out. >> monday, may 19th with 25 new bachelors, andi's got a lot of names to remember. >> my name is emil. e-m-i-l. >> very interesting. >> it's anal with an m. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, manal? what's this? the guy who's wearing the necktie was like, "my name is mike. that's like anal, but pronounced mike." we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody, right there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh we got a big show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] fun show. >> steve: great show. >> jimmy: good stuff. before we get started i want to sa

but here at the "tonight show" -- >> steve: wow!aughter ] >> jimmy: we actually got our hands on the audio. [ cheers ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: together with the video -- you can sort of see what the fight was all about. check this out. >> so long, everybody. >> it's pronounced solange. >> what are you talking about? >> my name, it's pronounced solange knowles. >> no, i was just saying goodbye to -- >> i'm so tired of you mispronouncing my name! >> ow! this is just a simple miscommunication! >> here's a miscommunication for you! >> oh, ow, aw! >> you need to leave, ma'am. >> so long! >> [ bleep ] you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: miscommunication, the whole thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so after the video surfaced of solange going after jay z, you can probably guess what the newscasters had to say about it. >> jay-z may have 99 problems, and his sister-in-law? well, she's one of them. >> jay-z has 99 problems and apparently, his sister-in-law is one of them. ♪ >> 99 problems and his sister-in-law is one of the

i'm steve phelps with nascar. >> hi, steve. peter. >> hey, steve.lduggery. >> hey, steve, how are you? welcome to our new york office. you know, marcus had asked me to take the meeting. this is a little bit unusual for us, but wanted to take the meeting to understand what it is about your company that you believe will help the nascar brand. >> let me go first. steve, why do you think nascar's good for skullduggery? [laughing] >> so, you know, we are in a really good spot at this particular point. the sport's growing. we're really trying to attract a much younger audience, a more diverse audience. you know, we're finding partners to invest with us in s.t.e.m. >> i'm sorry, ste--stem? >> s.t.e.m. science, technology, engineering, math. >> okay, okay. >> nascar is a technology-driven enterprise, and i think it's awesome that they want to attract kids through education. >> and so the question is, do you have something that you could focus on that? 'cause that's an important area for us. >> um, i'm havin'--you know, i had some meetings with--i just met w

i'm steve phelps with nascar. >> hi, steve. peter. >> hey, steve. koehl, skullduggery. >> hey, steve, how are you? welcome to our new york office. you know, marcus had asked me to take the meeting. this is a little bit unusual for us, but wanted to take the meeting to understand what it is about your company that you believe will help the nascar brand. >> let me go first. steve, why do you think nascar's good for skullduggery? [laughing] >> so, you know, we are in a really good spot at this particular point. the sport's growing. we're really trying to attract a much younger audience, a more diverse audience. you know, we're finding partners to invest with us in s.t.e.m. >> i'm sorry, ste--stem? >> s.t.e.m. science, technology, engineering, math. >> okay, okay. >> nascar is a technology-driven enterprise, and i think it's awesome that they want to attract kids through education. >> and so the question is, do you have something that you could focus on that? 'cause that's an important area for us. >> um, i'm havin'--you know, i had some meetings with--

steve's boss or manager shared with steve was doing his regular work auto on the lake merced and found out a set of luggage 3 pieces of luggage on his beat he say no contact information other than a prescription bottle it would have been easy to ignore or let someone else worry about it steve took the perspires bottle and called the paramedic and convinced them to give him the name and he got in touch and dropped off her luggage. anyone knows the stress of being forget full so i want to give steve a ticket of appreciation and helping and demonstrating the best of our the public function of our rec and park staff. steve thank you very much (clapping) take some photographs. commissioner president buell you can join me for the rejection two russel come on up we've talked about the importance of volunteer he's a distinguished member of our volunteer core and railing was the recipient of a general with regard with regard for compact of getting his fellow citizens get down unquote unquote he's an seminar and he shared his love of dancing as one of the popper dance instructors where 3 hundred

. >> steve: the rink. >> jimmy: yeah, not the ring. you step in the rink with me. [ laughter ] >> steve: you would fight the hockey players? >> jimmy: no, i can't play hockey. i like montreal, but you know, they challenged me to this bet. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: they bet that the rangers are going lose. that's the new york rangers. i can't let that happen. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: so this thursday in new york, go rangers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, this is cool. i saw that pope francis is going to bring a rabbi and a a muslim leader with him when he travels to the holy land this week. or as bartenders put it, we've been expecting you. [ laughter ] finally. the pope, a rabbi -- [ laughter ] this isn't good. kraft is recalling more than one million cases of cottage

i ever met. >> steve: happiest guy i've ever met. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: happiest place on earth.ead. [ laughter ] lot of stuff going on in that old poyser. ♪ thank you, new report that found that nintendo has lost over a billion dollars in the last three years, or to put it in nintendo terms -- [ mario bros. sound effect ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ thank you, roger federer for welcoming your second set of twins this week and proving you're also pretty good at doubles. [ laughter ] second set of twins. [ applause ] >> steve: he won the second set. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, graduation gowns, for basically saying this is one of the most important days of your life. so dress in your finest clothing then throw this loose fitting garbage sack over the top of it. [ cheers and applause ] wear the square hat too. that's what the smart people wear. >> steve: smart people wear da hat. >> jimmy: they wear da square hat. >> steve: you can put da little banner over da ribbon. [ laughter ] james graduated from good times university, right? [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, mothers, for being n

>> steve: come on!and applause ] >> jimmy: also tonight -- it's just so great to be in this city. don't you love new york city so much? this is my favorite city in the whole wide world. well, great to be here because we get to have the talents of broadway right down the street from us. and it's great. if you haven't seen a broadway play, go check out any play. i think broadway.com, you get tickets. but this show right here, tonight, "a gentleman's guide to love and murder." it's tonight. we're going to see it right here. [ applause ] they're nominated for 10 tonys. >> steve: 10 tonys. >> jimmy: 10 tony -- the most of any show out there right now on broadway. it got nominated for ten. and the story is about a a british commoner who realizes that he has a shot at becoming an earl. okay, so all you have to do is murder eight members of the wealthy family in order to get that title. >> steve: there you go. >> jimmy: that's a big hit show. and i'm so happy they're here. "a gentleman's guide to love and murde

james poyser put out a -- >> steve: oh. boo. hey, oh.. >> jimmy: hey, i want to say, congratulations to my man willie nelson. this week he received his fifth degree black belt in the martial art of the gongkwon yusul. [ applause ] of course gongkwon yusul is a a korean martial art where you get your opponent so high they just fall over. [ laughter ] great for willie. ♪ gonna kick your butt again just can't wait to kick your butt again ♪ [ laughter ] local story here, the nypd is starting to crack down on performers who dance in new york city subway trains. [ audience aws ] good news for commuters but terrible news for the city's least threating gang. ♪ once you are a jet you're jet all the way ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're never alone you're never disconnected gonna be a fight tonight i'm gonna fight you tonight ♪ ♪ you're never alone you're never disconnected ♪ [ cheers ] gonna be a gang bang tonight. >> steve: what? no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys get this. a man in california is making news for running a mile while drinki

and when steve is perfectly prepped, ya know what he brings?how you'll increase market share. any questions? can i get an "a", steve? yes! three a's! amazing sales! he brings his a-game! la quinta inns and suites is ready for you, so you'll be ready for business. the ready for you alert, only at laquinta.com! la quinta! afghanistan, in 2009. orbiting the moon in 1971. [ male announcer ] once it's earned, usaa auto insurance

emma stone on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lovely, lovely. >> jimmy: stone bone. >> stevee bone. >> jimmy: stone bone on the show. we have robinson cano. [ cheers and applause ] we love him. keith urban is rocking it out on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] that's the type of show -- unbelievable. but welcome everybody. let's get to some news here. here's what people are talking about. of course it is donald sterling. [ audience boos ] he's not here. [ laughter ] well, i guess he's the owner of the l.a. clippers basketball team. and he was recorded telling his girlfriend not to hang out with black people, after she posted a picture with magic johnson on instagram. sterling says it was a a misunderstanding. he's not sure when the recording was made. and he doesn't want magic johnson at his games. [ light laughter ] even mel gibson was like, "just stop talking. [ laughter ] just stop -- just stop talking. [ applause ] just go -- hang out -- let's -- he didn't mean that. just go somewhere. hang out." and i guess some people are actually defending sterling saying he ha

steve there's costs but also restrictions. we are being restricted now so much in terms of what we did k do with our own private property. there's a cost there as well. >> absolutely. those are the unseen things. for example, the federal government was a little more rational in terms of expiration we'd have more energy and the reason our emissions are going down is because of natural gas which the government did everything they could to block. the implementation of fracing and it comes to what is pointed out $1.8 trillion a year. and germany has electricity costs three times that of the u.s. consumer. >> i know and that's where we want to go? i don't think so. guys, thank you very much. coming up, restaurant with customers packing semiautomatic weapons. would you take your kid there is? well, cashing in is taking aim at a battle between gun owners and business owners. >>> but first, a new food fight over whether to toss out the government's healthy lunch program. a lot are tossing it into the trash and why this young, fit stud

king is following steve king on immigration. and let me say, mr. president, they are following steve king over the cliff. because not only are they hurting america, but because they are so afraid to buck this extremist -- and he is extreme on immigration -- they're going to make it certain that they will lose the 2016 presidential election, that they will make sure that the house, that the senate remains democratic in 2016 and that the house turns democratic. it's amazing. the republican record on immigration reform is clear. steve king has three wins, the rest of the republican party and the rest of america is winless. good for him, terrible for us. since house republicans won't stand up to steve king, king is in the driver's seat of immigration reform and as long as he sits there, things will continue to be stuck in a rut. america is growing weary of republicans talking a good game on immigration while high-tech businesses can't get the labor they need to grow and create american jobs. we're growing weary of all the talk while

could you talk about steve the rifleman? >> he earned an again because he was a character with the airborne in korea. after he got the name, but i'm sure to boston people assume that name came from somewhere else because he was a known killer. one is shifting things to me was when you talk about something being close to home, my father was a paratrooper in the same combat unit and it served in korea. he did not know steve flemmi when they were in service but my father just passed away a few years ago, years ago he is raising money for the korean war memorial in washington and he meets steve flemmi and tells them, we have to get together with their wives around the country. they came to scottsdale, arizona, when we can and would travel, our wives and girlfriends all get together and steve joined the group. i'm writing about him, and then suspected and druggie and all the stuff and meanwhile, is kind of airborne retreats around the country. dad, this guy is like really bad. there's a lot of murphy's in boston but i'm hoping he

david: steve, i want to switch gears, rather dramatically.care brand, the president thinks that the obamacare brand is an electable brand. he has been trying to tell his fellow democrats, this is a good brand. it is not a bad brand. we turned it around. do you agree with the president or not? >> the aca act was an attempt to try to deal with quality issues, access issues and the cost issues. and in so doing it really debt with none of them. although now, it is pretty well baked in and we're down the road here. i think, we at committee for economic development are working on health care reform to take this law and try to get it to reform and start looking at more market-based approaches to health care. david: i understand. i want to get back to that brand. forgive me for interrupting, steve, do you think the brand has been so sullied what happened when it first came out that it is impossible to turn it around or can you turn it around? >> the obamacare brand is linked to the president and those people who think the world of the president love

former microsoft ceo steve ballmer makes a record-breaking bid to acquire the team from embattled owner donald sterling. >>> as calls grow louder for veterans affairs secretary eric shinseki to resign at v.a. hospitals, a whistle blower told cbs news they were told to fast fie records related to veterans' care. >> to make it seem like the patients didn't have to wait that long. >>> and -- >> t-i-e. >> it's a tie for the fourth time in the 80-year history of the national spelling bee. a pair of winners are crowned. captioning funded by cbs >>> this is the "cbs morning news" for friday, may 30th, >>> this is the "cbs morning news" for friday, may 30th, 2014. good morning. thanks for joining us. i'm marlie hall in for anne-marie green. after a month of controversy that included racist statements from a billionaire owner, threats of a player boycott and an unprecedented penalty by the nba, the los angeles clippers have been sold. shelly sterling, the wife of donald sterling confirmed last night she sold the team to former microsoft ceo steve ballmer for a record-setting price of $2 billion,

[ laughter ] >> steve: why would you?> jimmy: why would you tweet that. >> steve: why would you tweet that? >> jimmy: today though it was back to business for the president. and apparently this morning he met with the president of the country djibouti. [ laughter ] then biden was like kim kardashian's here? [ laughter ] i didn't even get a djibouti call. shake shake shake, shake shake shake. no, biden, stop it. get out of here. get out of here. if you can't handle this meeting, get out. [ laughter ] my body's djibouti-licious -- get outta -- hey. [ laughter ] other big news. the kentucky derby. did you guys watch the derby this weekend? [ chee exciting. won the race with a time of 2 minutes and 3 seconds. after the race california chrome was pretty tired but still had enough energy for an interview. and he had this to say. feels great to come in first. i trained all year for this. i believe in myself and what can i say, i did it. oh yeah, and one more thing. none of what i said is true because i have no idea what was happ

steve ballmer. with this deal in place, the league intends to withdraw charges to strip donald sterling of his ownership. ben tracy in los angeles has the latest. >> one strategy, one team -- >> reporter: steve ballmer is going to pay the $2 billion in cash. after all, he is worth $20 billion. we are told he believes buying a pro sports team in los angeles is "a once in a lifetime opportunity." >> so it's simple law of supply and demand. >> reporter: ray katz runs a sports marketing firm. >> i think he wants to be an owner of a treatment in a tremendous league in one -- of a team in a tremendous league in one of the two largest markets and can afford to do that. >> reporter: ballmer brokered the deal with shelly sterling and nba officials but not donald sterling, the man who owned the clippers for 34 years. he vowed to fight the sale of the team resulting from his remarks made last month. max bleacher is his attorney. >> he has not agreed to accept mr. ballmer's bid or any other, period. >> reporter

steve sent any -- steve is her with more. >> republicans are moving ahead.hey want to find out what led to the attack in benghazi and whether the white house was engaged in the korup after the fact. the chairman denies charges by democrats that he will provide over a partisan witch hunt. >> i will have no friends to reward and no foes to punish. we will take it right where the facts take us. they are neither republican or democrats. they are facts. if we engage in a process that is not fair according to the american people we will be punished as we should be for that. >> democrats say there have been plenty of hearings already. there one will be a waste of time. former secretary of state hillary clinton was among those who testified in the past. democrats say the gop wants to keep up a political drum beat leading into the midterm elections. >> the bottom line here is that the republicans clearly lost the ability because we have had such a precipitous drop among republicans even in their fervor for repealing the affordable care act. they are clearly doing thi

i mean, apple got started in the late 70s when steve wozniak and steve jobs started the company in steve jobs' garage. from then until the mid-1980s, it was the hottest come to me -- company and all technology is if not the world. i remember, but the iconic soup bowl live that aired right before apple launched the mac cash. as soon as the macintosh came out, apple was the hottest company on the planet. .. and then pretty quickly thereafter started google, and it's kind of been a rocketship ever since. what's kind of interesting, and i sort of want to circle back to the whole apple example is that in some respects apple and google arguably started at the same time. apple, obviously, started in the 1970s, but then steve jobs got fired from the company in the mid 1980s, and then apple went through sort of a period of, say, 10 or 15 years where its fortunes really declined steadily. and it wasn't really until 1997 when steve jobs returned that apple's fortunes really began to rebound. in fact, it's, i guess, pretty well known among people who pay attention to what's going on in the valley wh

hi, steve. >> hey, carl. thanks very much.th philadelphia fed president charles plosser. thanks for joining us. >> good to be here. >> lot going on in the economy, minus 1% gdp yesterday, missed a little bit on spending this morning, down 0.1. what is your sense of the economy right now? is the weakness something that worries you? >> not right now. the weakness if the first quarter is something we've been anticipating. the weather had large effects. a lot of forecasters, not just me, seeing pretty strong rebound in the second quarter in response to the unwinding of the temporary transitoriry effects. >> you've had a 3% number for this year. it's going to be real hard to get there. >> probably. so the first quarter is going to make a dent and the weather will make a dent in that number. i'm still thinking that for the rest of the year, 3% is pretty good. >> not for the full year, but we get to that level we can sustain it? >> exactly. >> what happens to unemployment this year? >> my forecast it's going to continue to drift down

what else did you glean from steve cohen?ar in that deposition was exactly what the judge said explicitly today from the bench, was that one of the reasons why he gave steinberg is stiff sentence and a $2 million fine was because he said you guys knew better. you knew what the rules were. you had compliance manuals, but you honored them only in the breach. and that's, i think, what you saw from that tape. and that is stevie cohen was, he didn't even know what the rules were, doesn't know what was in his compliance manual. and at one point when i asked him -- at one point he said i'm going to rewrite the compliance manual to say x, and i asked do you know if that's legal, and he said, i have no idea. liz: it's called the masters of the universe on wall street, fred tecce, and they sometimes believe the rules are different for them versus the retail investor like you, me and the people who are watching right now. it's straight out of the wolf of wall street. but at the end of the day, does martoma cave a little bit and give up

steve? >> sorry. i wasn't sure you were talking to me. look i am so disturbed by this is sorry, gerri, it almost made me fall off my chair. think about where we are in the situation with percentage of people underwater. in some markets nearly 20%. ask yourself this question. how does this happen? how do people get underwater where the price of their mortgage is more than they have put into the house and the answer to that question is, we repeated all of the same mistakes, gerri, we made in 2005, six and seven that led up to the original crisis. gerri: what do you mean? >> so 90% of the mortgages that are being issued now are still being issued with essentially 100% taxpayer guaranties through what institution? fannie mae, freddie mac and fha. fannie and freddie went bankrupt five or six years ago because of these 100% guaranties. the other things we have not fixed, if you ask me what one thing we could do to fix this housing market, go back to 10, 15, 20% down payment requirements on affordable housing. gerri: are you saying we're heading

is hollywood part of the problem, steve?> well, first of all, my heart goes out to the families of the victims and it's just a terrible tragedy. but the truth is that nobody makes somebody do this by watching a piece of art, whether it's going to the museum or watching a movie or a television show. this is a person who had a deranged mind and we're going to have to figure out why he and many other people think like that and we have to get to the root of the problem. >> since his father was the a.d., assistant director on "the hunger games" because, you know, his youtube video was shot in such a cinematic way, was blaming hollywood you think just an obvious choice here? there were just too many factors that came together? >> sometimes everybody in the media is looking for a hook and this seems like a reliable hook. but films are inspirational for the most part people go to movies and feel great about them. they learn. there's movies like "12 years a slave" or "dallas buyers club" or "bridge over the river kwai." this tragedy

not steve doocy. huh-uh. virtues and the potential drawbacks that may come from extra mother love and some famous men, so-called mama boys like lebron james who has turned out to be just fine, thank you very much. mama. okay, listen up! i'm re-workin' the menu. mayo? corn dogs? you are so outta here! aah! [ female announcer ] the complete balanced nutrition of great-tasting ensure. 24 vitamins and minerals, antioxidants, and 9 grams of protein. [ bottle ] ensure®. nutrition inharge™. [ bottle ] ensure®. ugh. heartburn. did someone say burn? try alka seltzer reliefchews. they work just as fast and are proven to taste better than tums smoothies assorted fruit. mmm. amazing. yeah, i get that a lot. alka seltzer heartburn reliefchews. enjoy the relief. so ally bank has a that wothat's correct.a rate. cause i'm really nervous about getting trapped. why's that? uh, mark? go get help! i have my reasons. look, you don't have to feel trapped with our raise your rate cd. if our rate on this cd goes up, yours can too. o

steve jobs would not approve of this purchase.obs bill? st. louis steve jobs company when they make a purchase like this? >> the accompany but not after a purchase like this. my daughter and a pair of those head phone that i have used them and they roquet. they are technologically cool. but they are not iconic. this is not an apple product. if you look at the product as a whole, it is the few really want streaming what they're going after go for 4 billion, pie spotify. stuart: the market is reacting badly. apple stock is down 1% after an acquisition like that. the market is passing judgment on this if it is not a steve jobs move. let's move on. other stuff we are covering for you. beats, still with that story, has a brand new streaming service, its rival, pandora, which is in the streaming business in a mature sense that stock is up. could this be because people think apple will buy pandora? what do you say to that? and nicole? go-ahead. >> when you saw pandora this morning on the downside obviously talked about the idea of jitter

but steve, you say the epa is becoming a rogue agency. >> yes and sadly it's not alone. they make up the rules as they go alone. you see it in other government agencies as well and it comes from the white house. if you don't like the law, ignore it. no surprise other agencies are doing the same thing. epa is hurting production in this country. not something we should be doing at this time. >> there's a real pattern of abuse here, is there not? >> we have to keep in mind there's an allegation that's been made f. the allegation turns otolaryngology to be true, something to be concerned about to be sure but this office that this person is suggesting is behaving incorrectly, been around a long time. didn't come along with this administration, why don't we wait and see what the evidence shows? let's not be a -- >> well, our job is to investigate. we are not a court. we are the media. excuse me, rick, i have to say the washington post investigated before all the evidence is in on watergate. you weren't against that investigation were you. >> by the way, if you have evidence i'

steve is just about to join us. he's about to say if i'm reading his tweet right on twitter, fog is back. that is a tease for his segment coming up. looking at highway 4 westbound from antioch to concord that traffic looks good. and 680 from concord to walnut creek. let's go to steve. >>> i was a little hazy yesterday but i'm good to go today. boom, fog is back. from halfway down the sonoma coast to south. it looks like it's sold out. water temps are cold. they are 49-53 degrees. and right outside the gate they are 50. that is pretty cold. so we get the up welling. we also get a westerly breeze. it's a cooler pattern. 5-15 degrees cooler today. city yesterday was a beautiful day. today will be a little different. 51-59. i'm going 64. there will be some areas which will not be that warm. low clouds and fog continue to work their way up the coast. 43 santa rosa. 45 in novato. officially it's 51. yesterday half-moon bay they were clear. you combine that with a west wind and that is what we have. usually this time of ye

let's go to steve. >>> thank you, steve. good morning, everybody. fog is on the mendocino coast.her solid. half of sonoma coast. it's not the point yet, but i can see it. it's on its way. a couple of reports now coming in from the city that, oh, the wind just turned a little westerly. higher clouds in the north. fog again. it's very shallow, but it's not this. we will not set records yesterday. it is hot on this day in 2008. the records from yesterday 88 in san francisco, the 91 sfo, oakland 93. there were 24 record highs and bliss ring hot in southern california. santa cruz hit 100 degrees. not only a record, that's the earliest 100-degree reading ever. the earlier mark was 1983. the west wind is on its way. it will get here. parts of the city in the mid 70s. but outer sunset, inner richmond and close to, i think, san francisco state, i've seen that wind turn a little westerly. it's just a matter of time now. five, ten, 15 degrees cooler for some by the coast. some areas have to wait a little bit, especially and san mateo and santa cruz. 82 at noon. 66 at 5:00. if you live in sa

let's go to steve. >>> actually, we'll go to steve in a little bit, sal. first want to let you know that san francisco police are still searching for a driver who hit a pedestrian and another car before crashing into an apartment building in the marina district last night. brian flores is there now with the damage left behind and also what one person heard after the crash. good morning, brian. >> reporter: good morning, tori. yeah, that driver remains on the loose this morning. go ahead and take a look behind me. you can see a lot of damage to the complex. the car involved removed. but you can see the wooden boards mark where the car hit. this was the scene after 9:40 last night. you can see the car slammed into the garage door of this apartment complex off chestnut and franklin. san francisco police say they were following the driver of the car around the area of bay street because it might have been a stolen car, when all of a sudden, the driver sped away and was driving erratically. the police day the driver ran a red light, struck a pedestrian and even

let's go out and -- >> i stole that joke from steve by the way.et's look at the commute t- traffic is moving slowly at the 15 minute delay. people do not want to put up with the ridiculousness we had at the bridge and we are trying to figure out why every day has been slow and it is 548 and metering lights are already on to keep putting them on and except for one thing that, would be northbound 108 connector ramp to southbound 101 this can't do that, but it has been a huge morning issue and they will have it picked up by 5:00 and so says, 5:48 let's go to steve. >>> we have it a little cool for some and it will be a record-setting day for some and they have the best opportunity for highs and officially it will not be in any neighborhood be and the record is 87 and richmond 88 would also tie the record. heat advisory is out and unless you are thinking anything over 75 is too hot. i get that. this is mainly for coast and bay and san francisco will be. napa, fremont was 85. palo alto checking in at 90 and today 9 and 93 -- 94 and 93. i think about th